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A parent in denial, how to help.
I have no idea how to help my parent. She's in denial about needing help or the level of her cognitive ability and memory. Several years ago she was diagnosed with cerebral small vessel disease. After learning more about the disease, I've learned that it is a cause of dementia, which she appears to have. She won't go to…
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helpful book The 36-Hour Day by Nancy Mace & Peter Rabins
A nurse recommended this book and I'm now reading it. It helped me with my husband not bathing. Hope it helps someone else.
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Hygiene, esp. bathing
My father refuses to take a shower. All I can do is to make him change his disposable underwear and give him a fresh set of clothes and even that is a challenge. I offered to give him a washcloth GI bath (except for his private parts, told him he can do that); he refused quite angrily. He continues to say "don't worry,…
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Do I keep trying??
My mom is convinced that I stole her keys and money. I live 4 hours away so I can't just stop by on a daily or even weekly basis. about 3 weeks ago she stopped answering my phone calls and text messages - my question is do I keep calling and texting her so she knows that I am thinking about her? Honestly, I don't want to…
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Advice? Stepping in for main caregiver for four days
Hello, I am so happy to find this community. My father, 81 years old, was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease about 1 year ago although he has been showing symptoms for quite some time prior to that. My mother, 79 years old, has been his main caregiver for this time. He is still physically able to care for…
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Any Ideas?
You wonderful people really saved my life a little while back. I'm at a totally different place because of the advice I got here. There really aren't words to describe my gratitude. My mom was manic and crying all the time and paranoid about the children being taken...I was at my end until I was told to re-direct, and I…
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2 Questions: Car / AL for a loner type personality
I previously posted about taking my mother's car keys away and I then came to the conclusion that I needed to just get the car out of sight. It's currently at my son's house, but my mom thinks it's in the shop. I hoped she would forget about the car, but I don't think that's going to happen. She can't remember what she…
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Thank you(13)
I have only posted here a few times, but I read daily. My mother passed away last week. Thank you to everyone on these boards for the support and knowledge given to me on my journey with her. My mother lived alone in a different state for many years, but in 2019 I realized that she needed to not be alone anymore. I moved…
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Cannabigerol and dementia
I had never heard of cannabigerol before this morning. Cannabigerol is the precursor to CBD and THC. It attacks the twin problems in Alzheimer's disease and many other forms of dementia: oxidative stress and neuroinflammation. Much attention as of late has been played to the role of neuroinflammation in Alzheimer's…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 9/13/22
LOVE HOLDS EVERYTHING TOGETHER * Colossians 3:12-14 Easy-to-Read Version "12 God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. 13 Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If you feel someone has…
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Mom broke hip - hates rehab
Mom (79, stage MS to LS) who lives with me fell about 3 weeks ago and fractured her hip. Only a slight fracture under the ball joint (non-displaced) so the surgeon was able to put in some screws to keep in place. She's been in a rehab nursing home for about 2 weeks now, doing OT and PT 5-6 days a week. However, she hates…
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Dad got out of bed last night and walked
Sister hit me with the message as soon as I hit the door this morning. Viewing the camera I see he used the bed rail and another piece of furniture to steady himself all because he had to pee. Sister came in blazing, crying dramatically, and shoved the walker in front of him and told him to get back in bed. First time…
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New here(52)
Hi I am new to this group. My LO has dementia. Actually, the doctors haven't provided a definite diagnosis however, her medical charts all say dementia on them. Anyway, it all started about 4 years ago after my dad passed away. She started "loosing" her words, her memories, etc. We've taken her to PCP and Neurologist and…
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How do you start bringing carers into the home?
Four hours ago I would have said that we'd had a great day. After reading a couple of articles in the DAWN method I've been mindful of my facial expressions in dad's company and making sure that I smile when I enter a room or look at him. It's definitely made for an easier day regarding his behaviour and reactions as he…
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Searching for Ideas To Calm my Grandmother during extreme Confused Episodes
(For the specific question I’m hoping to find advice for, please skip over the first paragraph that provides a bit of background leading to why I am seeking help). My grandma is my favorite person in the world. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s years after her first signs and symptoms because her family (her husband and 3…
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I'm not sure what happens financially.
It's becoming clear, in the three weeks I've been home, that my father cannot be cared for at home anymore. I have to consider a Nursing home for long-term care. Spoke to a Finance (Medicaid) person last month when he was in for short-term Rehab. What he told me is that my father can keep no more than $954/month of his…
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When is Assisted Living or Memory Care called for?
Hello, my dad has Alzheimer's. My mom is his primary caregiver. My husband and I are around a lot. We live 10 minutes down the road so we are very involved. My mom is very stressed out. As dad's faculties have declined, I've watched mom's stress increase. She is "at her wits end." So I started looking for a place that…
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abc123 / waiting on your update
abc123 - I saw your reply to a post the other day mentioning your dad and that you would update us soon. Are you ready to do that or still struggling to put it all in writing? I can certainly understand that. I’ve tried to start a topic about my own frustrations with my parents 3 times tonight and can’t bring myself to…
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article on cost of caregiving
"The Quiet Cost of Caregiving" in This New Old Age blog, New York Times. Nothing posters here don't already know, but IMHO well written. I don't know how to copy and post article, but you can read some free articles each month.
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The Doctor’s Appointment that Wasn’t: Mixed Updates
First of all, I cannot overstate how grateful I am for the warm welcome I’ve received on this board from everyone who responded to my introduction thread and elsewhere. All your helpfulness and kindness last week truly helped me away from the edge, and for the first time since Mom had Grandma carried across our doorstep in…
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Delusions and RAGE
I've been taking care of my 86 YO dad for almost a year. We sold everything and moved in with him. His last neurologist appt scored him an 8, he can pull himself together for a few minutes, but after a time he begins to just make sounds instead of words. About a month ago he began having delusions, which bring on rages…
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I Think I Annoyed the Dentist
I took my sister (Alzheimer's Disease) to a new dentist due to some obvious problems with patient care at the previous one. My sister has 4 missing teeth going back probably 20 years for the first one. The last was extracted 2 years ago. She has a cavity in one of the teeth opposite one of the missing teeth that can be…
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Completely failed my mother
Less than 60 days after my mother was moved into AL (diagnosed with Alzheimer's in early 2022), she is gone. Living 10+ hours away from my parents, I tried to put aside my reservations about dad moving her to AL since he (age 81) was doing all the caregiving and I was not there on a regular basis to see exactly how she had…
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Lack of independence
How do you deal with you LO lack of independence? My mom relies on us for everything and the only thing she will do on her own in watch tv (she lives with us). She's open to do some things but everything must be initiated by me or my husband. While I know that apathy is part of dementia, I still get so frustrated by this…
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IADLs
Instrumental Activities of Daily Living are intermediate level activities that we might learn in our adolescence to enable our independence. The IADLs are: telephoning/texting/emailing preparing meals marketing driving or using a bus or taxi doing laundry cleaning, doing housework paying bills and managing finances taking…
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New poster but not new to PWD
Hi, my Mom has dementia, probably late stage 5 or 6. I recently had to move her to Memory Care from AL as she was trying to get out the doors and forgetting how to get to her room or meals. She has lived there full time for 4 years. Been in MC for under 2 weeks. I've tried to be consistent on visiting but it gets harder…
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Love this geri chair but…
How in the world do you slide someone back up who has slid down? It’s a 3 position chair. I have no problem when it’s 2 people, only when I’m alone. I am too short to reach over the back like I would a wheelchair. In the past, I would use a seatbelt but I worry about it cutting into his legs now because he pushes hard…
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mommyandme (m&m) How did the move go?
MommyandMe, did I miss your update? How did the move go with your mom to the living room area? Do you feel like it made things better not moving mom as much? Does everyone seem to be adjusting?
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Semi-Challenging Situation - Advice?
My father had hip pinning surgery first week of May. He did not get back to his baseline of being able to use a walker let alone stand up. In fact, he still does not want you to move his leg and he can’t/won’t put pressure on that leg (well very, very little). Had a bunch of x-rays done two weeks ago and still waiting on…
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Suggestions for fiblets/distractions about diapers when confined to bed?
Because this was a huge sticking point with grandma last week, and it will come up again and again... Grandma cannot walk any more due to a stroke a few months ago, so our toileting has become diapering. I am so grateful for the example I've learned here to call them "underwear/panties" to try to spare the LO's dignity.…