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Moved mom into AL yesterday - hardest thing I have ever done
I wanted to share my story, one to get comments/advice, and two hopefully someone else experiencing the same thing reads and get some comfort that someone else is going through this. My mother contracted melanoma about 10 years ago. At the time, we were told she had 1-2 years to leave. She went through surgeries to remove…
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Facility to help sort out meds for Dementia for mom
Mom has been in AL for a month now. After a few days in, she was doing 'ok', but she has gotten worse. Only sleeps from about 7pm - midnight, then they need someone in her room with her or she starts screaming and being very agitated. We are trying different medicines (she is on Lamotrigine, Zoloft and Trazadone now). Went…
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Mom ok physically
We are getting ready to move mom to memory care. She has dementia but not Alzheimer’s. She and dad have been in IL for 4 years but she is now requiring more care than he (age 86) can provide. She pretty much needs to be watched or supervised 24/7–from getting dressed in the morning, thru toileting issues, supervision while…
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SNARL Voucher Program in NY
NY specific question: Does anyone have experience with the SNARL voucher program that provides financial assistance to dementia patients (residents) of participating memory care facilities? Full program name is Special Needs Assisted Living Voucher operated by NYDOH
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Brand new here and scared
In the last week it has become clear that I need to take action to get my mom evaluated. I’ve noticed changes for the last 3 years, but she refused to let me contact her doctor. I have decided I’m going to go ahead tomorrow and contact her doctor and tell her my concerns and request she refer my mom to a neurologist. I’m…
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DH with Alz.
I am new here. My 77 year old DH with Alz is probably somewhere in the level 5 or 6 on the 7 point scale. I have been looking into MC. My problem is that he currently has a AUS because of complications from prostate cancer radiation. He can no longer consistently operate the device. We can deactivate the device and he will…
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Has your LO had these types of symptoms
I’m cross posting this from the spouse’s and partners forum because I want to see if anyone here is familiar with these symptoms. My DH was diagnosed with probable Alz and behavior variant FTD. It think it was based mainly on symptoms of obsessive/compulsive behaviors. He has never shown aggressive or violent behavior, but…
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Another sad warning that disorientation and driving can end horribly
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Pure Wick
What has been your experience using a pure wick catheter at home? Did you end up paying for this out of pocket?
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Powder recommendation
As much as my FIL wiggles in his Geri chair, I am thinking dusting the chair with powder would reduce friction. I tried one with cornstarch but it made me sneeze non-stop, I don’t know if it was the fragrance or what. One person I know recommended baking powder, but I wasn’t sure, so I wanted to see if you all have a…
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Two topics - How do I weigh her? and What to expect when evaluated for Hospice?
HI All, Question No. 1: Mom has been progressively losing weight. I believe maybe 10+ pounds just since April (4 months or so). Now that she is not as mobile or can't stand on her own without assistance or holding onto her walker or holding onto anything, I don't seem to be able to get an accurate count of her weight. At…
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Getting your loved one to accept a in home caregiver
Hello, I found a great in home caregiver. My wife has moderate cognitive decline. AFter 1st day she keeps asking who it is. I have explained a few times someone to help out around the house. Any suggestions on what have workers for others to get them to bond? Thank you
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Visiting someone with Alzheimer's in a nursing home
My father and I are struggling with how to visit my mother in her nursing home. She is medically sound, although she is in a wheelchair now and has become unable to engage in meaningful dialogue. She suffers from low attention span and at times gets anxious and even agitated. Her nursing home is great and they provide a…
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Long Nights
My 101 year old dad turns into another person once he goes to bed EVERY night. He talks, shouts, yells, etc. A lot of swearing about everything or gibberish that makes no sense at all. He is much more agitated and harder to deal with than during the day( and daytime is no picnic either). You can't talk to him or get him to…
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Family Caregiver Alliance Free Online Webinar Class Re Caregiver Stress
Family Caregiver Alliance is offering a free Webinar class on the topic of Caregiver stress on Agust 31; if you are interested, the following will provide some information and also provides a link to enroll: https://myemail.constantcontact.com/FCA-Webinar.html?soid=1101399948055&aid=khqLs_BIQ5k They have a wonderful online…
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Conversing with herself, in two voices
I would like to read about this topic, but it is hard to search. Not actionable, probably, as her liver function is poor (liver met from a fast progressing, neuroendocrine cancer with an unknown primary) and so doubtful she could handle meds. But I benefit from reading about other people's experiences all the same. PWD is…
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ButterflyWings
Just checking in to see how you are doing. I know you had some challenging past few weeks. Hope everything is ok with you all.
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How to deal with the anger?(1)
I'm 59 and my mother hasn't been mad at me since I was a teenager. I've dealt with so much anger the past month including being cussed out. I try to remind myself it's not her, it's the disease. I just don't know where to go from here. I took her keys away about a month ago, which is really what started all this anger. The…
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The Unknowns
My dad was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment in May of 2022. I'm the Medical POA for both of my parents. I take my dad to mostly all of his appointments so that I know exactly what is going on. I have a younger family of my own with a husband that works from home (most of the time). I feel a bit overwhelmed lately.…
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What is humane?
When I was in the middle of the chaos it was hard to think straight. I'm a firm believer in hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. My parents prepared their wills, POAs and DNRs many years in advance. They told their kids their wishes and reaffirmed them with every serious health threat. But "quality of life"…
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Surviving death
I have not been on in a long time. I just wanted to reach out to those who may remember me as Teresa99. My DH passed 2 days ago. My heart is broken. I thought it would be easier as we have been at this a long time.
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Camera for Memory Care
My dad is in memory care, and believe he is having problems with a resident who wanders coming into his room uninvited during the day (which my dad does not like), but worse, also at night. I'm 90% sure this happened at least once, and am concerned that it is still happening. Of course, since he has Alzheimer's, I realize…
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Constant Talking
Hi all. It's been awhile since I have posted, but am always online reading your similar stories and bountiful help. I was wondering of anyone has a LO with mid-stage Alz who talks CONSTANTLY. My mom has been babbling continuously since she got up this morning. It's like her thoughts are coming out of her mouth. She talks…
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How to prepare for move to MC
Hi all. I found a really lovely MC for my mom and will be moving her in three weeks. I think she may adjust well since she really likes to be social, but she has made it clear that she doesn’t want to go to MC. She does want some freedom and to be able to do things in her own so I’m thinking I can use this to my advantage.…
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Is it time for Memory Care?
My mom is 74 and has been living in an Enhanced Independent living community for about 4 years. The medical team gives her am/pm medicine and they escort her to meals and remind her to shower but that’s about it. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014. The doctor recently told me she’s been in need of 24/7 supervision…
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Substance abuse
My DH was diagnosed with EO Alzheimer's in 2020, caused by peripheral vascular disease, over 50 years of cigarette smoking and numerous years of alcoholism. Right now he is very capable of caring for himself and other than being moody, forgetting and misplacing things he does okay. My concern is he has been a chronic…
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When moving LO to AL Causes MORE Stress, Not Less
Hello caregivers - A somewhat lengthy post, apologies - My Dad (currently 85 years old) was my mom's (currently 86 years old w mixed dementia) primary caretaker at home for about 3 years after she had a stroke. He could no longer do it as she's very mobile and active. Therefore, was getting herself into trouble at home and…
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Applying for medicaid before a move to a different state in USA
How to do this?
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Suddenly Becoming a Caretaker, in isolation, very scared
Hello, I am desperate I recently moved from the US to Japan to help my very healthy (never been to the hospital) grandma take care of my grandfather with dementia. In my short stay here, its become pretty apparent that my grandma can not take care of him even with my help, but shes been extremely stubborn, trying to prove…
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Intro... this will be long
It all started when the pandemic hit. Wait, back up. My Dad died on Christmas Eve of 2014 and my mom hasn't been "right" since. I begged for her to get counseling, get out of the house, DO anything, but to no avail. Okay, Pandemic. She's due for a colonoscopy but no one is doing elective procedures. But she buys her…