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Communication/mis-communication frustrations
My husband with FTD, early stages, sometimes brings up a topic and I'l respond in a normal way, mild and "neither here nor there." Yet he'll take it as an attack of some kind and respond in an angry tone as if I've created an argument, or as if we're in an unpleasant debate about something. When this happens I leave the…
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My DH suffered a massive stroke and passed away
I am numb and shattered. Not too long ago I wrote in this forum that I could not contribute often because my DH was shadowing me all the time, asking what I was doing and following me everywhere I went. Now I am ALONE……the love of my life is gone forever, I have all the time in the world to myself, what irony! Doctors told…
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Door handles
Hi, well, my DH has been in memory care almost 4 weeks now. It such a huge transition. Extremely heart heavy. Anyway, he has broken off a thermostat and his handle door knob three times. I realized he doesn’t comprehend how the handle door knobs work. (The kind that you pull down and push the door open). We had “regular…
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No joy in cooking anymore
I know there are people dealing with far bigger problems than this one, but I am sharing because it continues to mystify me. Since my teens, I have loved to cook. I am largely self-taught, but I learned a fair amount and earned a reputation for being pretty good at it. My mom was a wonderful cook and a fantastic baker,…
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I’m back
hi everyone, Sorry I have been keeping radio silence. A lot has transpired. First of all, my mother who is turning 90, has been hospitalized with four different infections. She is now on the mend but the progress is very slow and incremental. My brother and I have been feeding her cats and visiting her on a regular basis.…
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How to get out of this rabbit hole?
A year ago I was confused stressed angry sad and dealing with DH anger issues. Today I’m all of the pre mentioned and now adding a very apparent decline in short term memory! It’s sad it’s scary lonely for us both. I feel so helpless and still want to make it stop! I’m having heart palpitations which I assume are due to…
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Hospice(18)
Unfortunately, my dh has qualified for Hospice and yesterday we started. I could not believe all the help that is available. I will still have all my caregivers as I can not longer get Jerry up in the morning and down in the evening without help. Some of the expenses that I have paid for the last number of years is now…
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Does the doc diagnose based jon CNS neurocognitive test?
My DH(age 56 now) had neurocognitive testing in 2016 and got an score of 75% for his age , was diagnosed with depression and was told there wasn't anything wrong with him,despite the things I saw. Fast forward to 2023, I got him back to a neurologist, he just had a new CNS neuro test, scored overall in the 45% , except for…
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An Eye Opener
My DH, 67 yrs old, most likely has chronic traumatic encephalopathy. He is quite functional and only he and I have noticed his mental decline so far. Some days are worse than others. I’ve been sick with influenza for the past five days, and he’s been bringing me food and drink, and taking care of our pets. Yesterday the…
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Road Scholar Caregiver Grants
Find Respite With a Road Scholar Caregiver Grant Hopefully, someone can find this site useful!…
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In-home vs. facility care: Good science and how our group made a difference
You may remember that I came across an online article from Johns Hopkins University that was primarily focused on in-home care, and it included the following statements: "Research shows keeping a loved one with dementia at home helps them be happier and live longer" and similarly that "Of the 5.8 million people in the…
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How would you handle being diagnosed with dementia ?
I have been thinking a lot lately how I would handle being diagnosed with dementia after having been a caregiver. I am a favorite uncle to a nephew I would have 100% confidence in helping me navigate my way through the process. What has helped my wife and I through this is her cooperation with whatever we have to do for…
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New Diagnosis of Partner with EO AD.
I posted this originally in the wrong forum, so I'll post it here as well. Apologies. Hello Yesterday my partner (57yo) of 30+ years and I were given the news that he has AD. I am overwhelmed with shock and grief. My life partner, my best friend, my only friend, actually. And I can't talk to him about it, about how I'm…
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Marta(2)
Marta enjoy your comments on here. There is such a need for what you have done starting the Adult Family Home.
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Need help with care resistance
….Good morning everyone, my problem is that I cannot get my WWD to take off her underwear to change her.When I go to show her how or do it myself she refuses if I try to do it she gets very mad and makes a fist declaring that she will hit me. This is a new behavior. I tried several times at different intervals and finally…
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Big bathtime mistake and confusion with geting dressed
DH hadn't showered in two weeks and I was trying a different approach on Saturday. Rather than telling him he needed to take a shower which is always met with resistance, I asked him if he would rather take a bath or a shower. Naturally, he chose a bath. It almost turned out to be a disaster! He fell to a sitting position…
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another MC policy question--your experience?
Curious about other people's experiences. In my partner's current facility, we have had recurrent problems not only with not having toilet paper out in the bathroom, but also no towels and soap. They insist that all toiletry supplies remain in a locked closet all the time, but --despite multiple requests, after nearly a…
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I gave my love a valentine
I gave my love a valentine. He’s read it 50 times or more. Each time is like the first time and brings a smile and delight. His brain may be broken, and my heart may be broken, but our love is still intact. Happy Valentines Day Brenda
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Coping with agitation(1)
I am currently caring full time for my father who has moderate dementia. His partner (not my mother) is away on a 2 week overseas vacation with her friends. He has pronounced sundowning and gets severe agitation in the evenings. His partner is not answering his messages (phone calls, texts etc.) which is causing increased…
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I did not want to hijack Bill's thread
Bill posted about what he would do if diagnosed with dementia. I want to emphasize that even a person without dementia can be in a very difficult, even miserable situation. I am thinking of my frail neighbor, who I have posted about. She is a widow of three years, after a 60+ year marriage. She was doing fairly okay until…
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Phantom Family
I just finished a book about a double amputee. There was a reference to «phantom limb,» the condition where amputees still feel sensations in the missing limb. I was struck by the thought that as I walk around my home, living alone for the first time in my 76 years, I have «phantom family.» Sometimes I hear a noise and…
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In Love, By Amy Bloom
So I just finished reading this book by Amy Bloom and I'm wondering if anyone else has read it. The friend that suggested it was worried that it would upset me. It did not. In fact, there was not a tear shed throughout the reading of it. I actually wanted more info, more details about how this story unfolded and what…
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Question for those with LO in MC
My DH with Alzheimer’s enters MC facility this week—much faster, and much different circumstances than imagined. He fell New Years, shattered hip, total hip replacement required, with loss of cognitive abilities (not as bad as I feared, but definitely lost ground), and weeks of rehab. Still mobility impaired. My own health…
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If you have a Medicare Advantage plan........
You might want to read this: https://finance.yahoo.com/news/retirees-may-face-this-hassle-with-medicare-advantage-survey-finds-140959662.html
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Struggling to have a conversation?
I just found an old thread about caregivers struggling to have a conversation with their LO. Does anyone have this problem, or could you use some tips on starting a conversation with them? Maybe tips on how to have meaningful connections with them? If so, this has the potential to be a good thread. That's all I have for…
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How to mediate between parents
Hello, I’ve just joined this forum. My father has mixed Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. He’s always been a very stubborn man, very controlling of my mother through their marriage. So now that she has to be his caretaker there are some very difficult issues occurring and I’m being placed in the middle constantly. They…
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Does Medicare cover in home care?
I was under the assumption that Medicare Advantage covers in home care, but a friend told me today that they believe it only covers skilled nursing care, nothing less. Currently I feel I need help just so that I can get some relief. I’m sure you all know what I mean. I help him choose his clothes, make sure he showers…
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Alz cruises
I have seen posts about Alz cruises…..can someone tell me how to locate them ? That sounds like a good option for DH as we progress.
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Peaceful
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Why can’t I just die
Today this is what my dh asked me. I took my time before asking him what he meant. He has such a hard time trying to get even a few words out. Most of the time I know what he’s wanting to say so I help him, but this time I waited. He said because I’m useless, I can’t talk, can’t make it to bathroom, can’t think right,…