-
Silly little steps, caring for me for a change
This may seem silly (it strikes me so), but i did two things today that have already made me feel better: i bought a Roomba, and signed up for a cleaning service once a month. No more dog hair in the corners. Sign of how overwhelmed I've been not to have done it sooner. My kids think it's hilarious. Baby steps but steps by…
-
Bad day
We all have them. Today I had to bite my tongue when 1 more person told me the it would happen in God's time. We just couldn't see the big picture. I know I believe that but in the trenches I can't handle it. The other phrase that has gotten to me is "Have a nice day" I say politely thanks you too when I really want to say…
-
Emotional/Verbal abuse vs. Physical abuse
Because I can chalk this day up to yet another of a string of being yelled at etc. I’d like to know why we ,meaning the people that are caregivers, are supposed to justify our LO ‘s poor behavior because their brain is broken and accept the verbal and emotional abuse, but as soon as it becomes physical we need to have a…
-
Last days question
Ok. Hospice has told me that since my DH is no longer eating or drinking on his own that it is time. The nurse however told me to keep giving him his pain pill and anxiety pill. The PA told me this is because if he starts gasping or struggling that the anxiety pill would take 30 minutes to start working. My question is…
-
Information
Please do not give out personal information you may know about other posters like where they live.
-
Placement, guilt, identity lost
Placed DH yesterday after over 11 years of early onset disease. So many factors, many discussed here, sealed my decision. Was asked to give him a few days to settle in, but call whenever I wanted. I know I made the only decision I could, but I am concerned about myself. Guilt, sadness, crying, emptiness after 40+ years…
-
aiming urine outside diaper
Ok. I'm needing ideas although I hope no one else has faced this but I bet someone has. My DH is reaching into his diaper and aiming his stream outside the diaper. I kept thinking that I just hadn't placed it correctly till today and I "caught" him reaching into his diaper. I stopped him but later he did it again. Filled…
-
After Respite Care
First post but have been reading and learning for months and need advice. We've been muddling along for 61/2 years at home with DH in probably late Stage 6 ALZ and finally going to day care 2X/week. I want and need to go on a family vacation but lake cabin is 10 hr. drive and no direct flight away. Last year was very…
-
Should we stay longer?
My DH is part of a very distinguished family of Hungarian Jews. A cousin of his has written a history of the family from the 1700s to today and it is the subject of a museum exhibit in Budapest. The same cousin has arranged a family reunion and celebration at the museum in early September. We plan to attend. This cousin…
-
The things you learn
Now that my husband is on crisis placement, I get more help from different psws and a new lady came on Monday. A soft spoken lady from Eritrea who did not take no for an answer. My husband when asked if he would to be changed and cleaned usually says no. Well this lady wasn’t having any of that and kept at him until we…
-
Assisted Living
I am POA for my friend. She has at home care 9 to 5. I see her confusion getting worse each time I see her, once a week and I worry about the hours she is left alone. Assisted living would be more cost effective and better for her but she is resistant to the idea. WE attended a brunch and my friend was suspicious at first…
-
Anesthesia for ftd person
My husband is early stage, entering middle stage dementia and is scheduled to have dupytrens contracture (outpatient surgery) on his hand with general anesthesia. I am worried how the anesthesia and recovery after will affect him. He doesn’t do well with change in general. He needs the surgery but I am concerned how this…
-
Thoughts from a caregiver who has placed by toolbeltexpert
I had written this last week and saved it as a draft not sure if i wanted to post it, well here it is maybe you are going thru this ? Well I am well into almost 10 months and some things really get to me. One biggie is dw asking are you gonna take me home with you? That almost immediately sets my innards into a wad that…
-
Our anniversary
So this Tuesday is the 25th anniversary of our first date. I was 28. He was 39. We had been talking for a while online (we met on AOL 😂) and finally decided to meet in person. He picked me up at my parent's house and we went to dinner and a club. The first time he hugged me I knew I had found my person. When we returned to…
-
How did you get a diagnosis, and then what do you do?
My DH was diagnosed with 'likely' Alzheimers five years ago, based on an MRI (hippocampus at 1% of normal size) and repeated cognitive tests. He has been declining since then, but how do I know it's Alzheimers? Could it be Lewey Body? Does it matter? His doctor seems to be only interested in the annual Medicare physical,…
-
Need ideas for peeing in the bed
Okay I'm using chucks so the sheets are okay but the covers keep getting wet. My DH is grabbing it and aiming out of the diaper. I am going to wear out his covers. I don't think a chuck would stay in place to protect his bedspread. What about a raincoat or a shower curtain?
-
White Crane: Gotta laugh or I'm gonna cry
A couple of days ago, DH and I were sitting in the living room relaxing. I think he must have dozed off for awhile or something. He suddenly picked up one of the two TV remotes and asked, "Is this an aspirin bottle?" The question was so unexpected that it surprised me! I told him no, that's the TV remote. Then he picked up…
-
change for the worse?
My DH is clinging to the bed rail and wont' let go. I also had to feed him his breakfast. Good thing it was oatmeal. I don't think he could have swallowed anything else. He is also shaking. He has Vascular Dementia so I am thinking he had a stroke last night or yesterday? He didn't eat supper but I have let him sleep…
-
By Ed - I'm in a quandary about something kind of off topic, and need input
You all know I visited an old friend at MC. I visited with him and his wife for quite some time. During our visit, I realized she probably doesn't know a lot about this disease, and I would like to at least send her a few links that would help her and prepare her for the future. She didn't know there were stages to…
-
Stopping RX insurance
Since DH is on Hospice in Memory Care I want to cancel his RX insurance since I no longer have to use it. I called the AARP United healthcare company and they said they have to hear HIM say that he wants to discontinue his insurance. he barely speaks at all. My other choice is to fax all my POA papers for his health…
-
Driving
My friend has an at home caregiver. She has not driven her car in four months. The aide or I take care of the driving. She had a dead battery which we fixed. Now she wants to drive it, just around the corner. I suggested I drive. She did not want that. She wants to drive with me..I do not want to be in the car with her.…
-
Bible Verse to Lift You Up 5/8/23
Dear Friends, I so appreciate your comments. Thank you for each one. Hugs, Veronica (Ronnie) Badowski * Isaiah 30:21 “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” * VICTORY THOUGHT: God communicates with me; He directs my life. * POWER PRAYER:…
-
From JoseyWales - Here's what's going on
Hi everyone, it's been a long time since I last posted, but I'm still here reading and following along with everyone's journey. DH's anxiety and crying are now under control, thank goodness. He still gets upset, but frequency and intensity are much less. He's been in a wheelchair for at least 7 months. Now all he can move…
-
Hello from a newbie
My DH was diagnosed with early stage mixed dimentia ( vascular & alzheimer's) earlier this month. It has been overwhelming and just personally heartbreaking. Trying to get support service like pt/ot set up. Also trying to get the legal stuff done too. Just feeling extremely raw but trying to stay calm for him too. I miss…
-
By Ed - tomorrow or the next day I will see someone I haven't seen in over 60 years
A woman saw the article about caregivers in the local paper, and asked the reporter to forward a picture of my wife and me at their wedding in 1961. We never saw them again since then. I finally got in touch with her, and I will be going with her to see her husband, who is in a MCF. She said she mentioned my name to him,…
-
By Beachfan: And So It Ends…..
DH passed on Friday evening. He left this life much as he lived it, quietly, with dignity, without complaint, surrounded by love. The kids and I were with him; it was what I would wish for if I had to make a plan. I will miss him every day of my life; I hit the lottery when he plucked me out of all the Freshman girls at…
-
By This Life Using Respite Again
My H has Alzheimer's, Stage 6, and 9 years. Last September, I placed him in respite for three weeks so could do some in person work and visit with friends. Told him the morning of placement. He argued but staff got him back to his room. Umpteen phone calls a day that did taper off. I quit taking phone calls after the third…
-
Surfacing
Hi to all my old friends, and hello to new ones. My husband is on crisis placement. The social workers and the hospital feel that a long term care home is the only option right now. I too, feel the same. I get a psw who comes in to help me with for 14 hours a week. My psw is lovely and really tries to engage with my…
-
constipation
my wife is 76 and has had Alzheimer's for about 11 years. Now she is ( and me ) are experiencing her having some constipation. Most medicine and vitamins she wants to chew before swallowing. Stool softeners taste terrible, laxatives say do not use if you cannot just swallow. We eat fresh fruit & vegetables every day, no…
-
sudden energy
After 3 months of sleeping 23 hours a day, (only awake when I feed and change him) my DH tried to get out of bed 2 times yesterday. Then tonight at 4:30 am he tried to get up to go get a cup of coffee. At 5:30 the dog woke up throwing up, so I got up and fixed my DH some coffee. He had taken his shirt off and peed all over…