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Labeling kitchen cabinets
My husband searches thru the cabinets just about every time he is in the kitchen. I try not to say anything as it seems like it upsets him. But yesterday he said that he can't remember where anything is. I asked him what he thought of me labeling the cabinets. While he was sleeping, I did one to make sure he could read the…
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Grief/ Homecare/ Virtual Support Groups
Hi Everyone, I introduced myself a couple of months ago and then never came back. I've been in overdrive trying my best to prepare for this change in our lives. I've made some progress, but mostly I am in a waiting game which I am not good at. I feel so helpless. DH received an original diagnosis of possible Vascular…
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Loosing Us, We, Our
I’ve noticed lately that I am using Me,My and I a lot more and omitting Us, We and Our. The longer this Alzheimer’s journey progresses, the less I feel married and the more I feel like a “ married single”. I (see there I go again) suppose it happens rather gradually as we take on more responsibility and also detach our…
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Moment of Clarity
I have not been able to understand anything my DH has been saying since his UTI first presented two weeks ago. Today, after he was fighting with the nurses who were trying to clean him up from his BM in the bed I came back into the room. He looked at me and said clear as day “I’m so sorry l’m putting you through this.” And…
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Being oblivious to other people
Many of you post about your LO being oblivious to how much work you do or how much toll is taken on you. It is not only PWDS who are oblivious. My 91 yo frail neighbor, who does not have dementia, is also oblivious. Yesterday I got called twice by her Life Alert company to help them gain entry, because she had fallen…
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What if it's not dementia?
Hi my friends, I've not posted much lately, but I've still been following all of you. Today I'm just writing to try to organize my feelings and thoughts and I suppose look for support as I continue on this journey after all these years. Quick review- DH is about to turn 59, symptoms first noticed about 15 years ago. Quit…
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For Lane(1)
Info re this was published in the U of A alumni publication. The story is specifically about Robin Bolt. Your take??? Judith
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Belsomra
Anyone try Belsomra for sundowning? Along with other things I can try, an Alzheimer’s Care Consultant suggested I run it by my husbands doctor. I’ve been living on 3 hours sleep, more or less, sleep a night because my husband goes to bed at 8:00 and is up two hours later for the night.
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Rapid Decline(5)
DH went from driving and cooking to incontinent and nonsensical speech in less than 3 months. We are still in the hospital as they try to figure out what is happening. Treatment for UTI has not changed his behavior. He has regressed so much. Watches cartoons now. Can’t speak a sentence that makes any sense. On top of it,…
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New to this forum(2)
Good day all. My name is Joe and I just joined the forum. I posted a lengthy remark about my situation and maybe it is on my profile. I haven't checked to see. My basic situation is that I am a caregiver for my wife who has some kind of unspecified dementia and it has recently gotten really bad and and tomorrow I will be…
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Help in getting DH out of bed
My DH sleeps 16 plus hours a day. He is at moderate stage. I would like to see if he would benefit from a day program. However the day programs that are available want you to be there by 10:00 AM at the latest. This is near impossible to get him up, dressed etc.. this early. DH becomes very combative when I have tried to…
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HAD to share this email with you
Careblazers <natali@careblazers.com> To:Ed Sat, Jan 14 at 4:16 PM Careblazer, In the past, I've hosted several free, live dementia care classes. And those were great...for the ones who were able to attend live. As a dementia caregiver, you don't always have the ability to adjust your busy schedule to fit a training. That's…
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Those things we talked about before the big D.
I am gonna share about some of the things that my dw and I had talked about several times before the big D, and I don't mean divorce or Dallas. Things that probably a lot of long term couple eventually talk about. We had discussed what would we do if either one was suddenly disabled and needing long term care unable to…
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Dementia, hospitals, and joint replacement
I’ll try to keep this short, but it’s complicated. I hope it may interest, or be helpful, to someone here: Thursday evening before the New Years holiday weekend, my DH with stage 6 Alzheimer’s, fell and shattered his hip. He had no mobility issues, he just fell. A terrible “stuff happens” accident. Immediately…
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Happy
My husband has had a very rapid decline in the last week, he now has only days left instead of the months the hospice nurses were predicting. Family is flying and friends are calling and stopping by briefly since he is sleeping 22 hours a day. He woke up today and said "I'm happy" he asked how I was and drifted back to…
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More government help?
This was released yesterday. And many of us know that antipsychotic drugs have been a life saver. I am always concerned when the watchdogs start helping us. The offsite audits concerns me as well.…
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Help to communicate w/ LO without showing frustration
I need a resource to help me get better at communicating with my DW without showing frustration -- which to her feels like I think she's "stupid" -- although I would never say that and always try to send the message that her memory loss or confusion is not intelligence related. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Why friends and family withdraw
Many of us have experienced that some friends and familiars drop out of our orbit, pretty early on in the AD journey. This Christmas, we heard from one of my DW’s closest friends, after an absence of over four years. Unsolicited, she offered an explanation of why she has been absent. She said how unhappy she was at seeing…
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Isolation impact
Shredded a tire on my way to visit my partner this afternoon, barely made it to my usual tire and oil change place. They didn’t have a tire to fit. My daughter is out of town. Hit me that there was literally no one except Uber that I could call. And a 40-mile Uber is the last thing I want. Really, really brings home the…
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Loving Words
DH tells me he loves me repetitively (like every 5 to 10 minutes). It feels smothering to me. Is there an attempt on his part to make certain that I am always here to take care of him? Is it fear on his part? Does he genuinely mean it? Is he just stuck in repetition? He says “Did I tell you today how much I love you?” If I…
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Checking in(4)
It's been awhile since I posted anything. It seems every time I sit down to write something I get interrupted...usually DH comes to see what I'm doing. Things are going fairly well. DH continues to progress with more confusion and little short term memory. Now even his memories from his childhood are starting to fade away.…
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Fingers crossed, hoping elder law attorney helps
I've only been a member a few weeks on this forum, and it seems that those of you that have dealt with caregiving for a spouse with dementia for several years all give same advice. Contact an elder law attorney. My husband and I have an appointment the 24th of this month. I hope I get answers to a lot of questions. And…
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communication phases
I was with my brother last night listeing to him. He went on for about an hour, talking about not being in his house, wanting to go to his mother’s/father’s house, wanting to take a plane trip…He just went on and on. I was able to understand a lot of the wirds, but I noticed that he was slurring his words and running them…
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A few tips
I’ve done a few things during DH’s hospitalization that have helped a bit and may help someone you love. 1. Music- 5 songs on my phone that I play when he is about to get a procedure 2. If he refuses to take meds, I take my “meds” and he will sometimes follow my lead. 3. The nurses let me use the scanner to scan is bladder…
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Not sure if I had shared this before.
https://acl.gov/CaregiverStrategy https://acl.gov/sites/default/files/RAISE_SGRG/NatlStrategyFamCaregivers_ActionsSCO.pdf https://nashp.org/raise-act-state-policy-roadmap-for-family-caregivers/
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Hospice on board
DH has been in memory care since mid August as I could no longer take care of him after he broke his ankle and also was doubly incontinent. I had been taking care of him for 4 1/2 yrs. with no outside help. Last week he once again was non- responsive and slumped to the side and drooling. They took him to the ER...2nd trip…
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Scooterr(1)
Hoping your well, I miss your posts. I know things are hard and hectic. Stewart
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MIL in hospital
My MIL has been in the hospital for the past 2 weeks due to her continuing falling down and hurting herself. The other day we had lunch with a couple of friends who were asking DH questions about his mother which is alright, but his answers are completely wrong. Like, what happened to your mother? His answer is, someone…
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Hospital hell
So, DH went by ambulance this morning to ER for blood in his urine. They are admitting him but we have been waiting in the hallway of the ER waiting for a bed for TEN hours. It’s hard enough on me let alone a patient with Alzheimer’s. Argh!!!!
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Just need to talk to my friends (185)
Happy New Year! Be sure to read the last posts on 184. Ron's going home today. Be careful what you do today - you know whatever you do today, you'll do all year long. It's a pretty morning here. Girls just decided it was feed day and most of them made the trek out to the feeding area. Haven't seen little Eve yet. I've been…