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Arghhhhhh
I just keep hitting road blocks, the area agency on aging called, dw is medically approved, her pae was accepted. So she can get tn care choices. I called the sw about sending referrals to the 2 nursing homes that I have checked out, he won't send them because she doesn't qualify on a passr. Qualifying means she has to…
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Newbie Here(1)
Hello everyone! I am new here and so lost in conflicting information and suggestions. My Wife's "Memory Doctor" suggested I come here and connect with people that are going through this or have been through a spouse diagnosed with moderate to severe Alzheimer's. I don't know where to even begin preparing. on the internet I…
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CELA vs regular attorney
Our attorney helped us draft our poa’s, health surrogate forms, and wills about five years ago, and we just updated them last week. I took my DH name off of mine, and replaced it with my niece, as we don’t have children. Our finances are quite simple and we both have long term care insurance policies. I’m wondering if…
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I hate my life!
I've been taking care of my DH who has FTD for 7.5 years and I've had it. I've lived through his rage, his narcissism, have had things thrown at me, his accusations, his delusions, his hallucinations, his controling behavior, and his sarcasm. I had him in MC a while and he got thrown out because "they couldn't handle him".…
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Fine line between being respectful and being realistic
My DH is at the stage where he can still remember some things and yet not others. So we have a Zoom meeting this week with some partners where we have to make some decisions. I told him about this meeting but I will be getting on at work so we won't be able to join the meeting together. We did a practice run tonight with…
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Goofy conversation
Yesterday afternoon my DH was in the kitchen fixing a PBJ when the cat walked by. DH looked at me and said “Did he just say hello?” I said, “I think he did,” and we both cracked up laughing. I don’t know if he had an audio hallucination or was just messing with me. Or maybe the cat did say hello.
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VA Benefits - Staring into the Abyss
Just to be clear, I'm posting this information as forewarning for others - not to ask for ideas or sympathy. At this point in the struggle to find help caring for my DH with vascular dementia and a side order of dangerous psychotic behavior, I am clinging to a ledge and staring into the abyss. The emotional and physical…
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Transfer Trama
I thought it might be worth posting this as it will happen to most of us who have to place in a MCF. But what surprised me was it is not just for the pwd it happens to the caregiver and I believe I suffered from having my Dw go to a geripych. I was sick for about 8 days. Some folks have talked about the strategies to help…
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I am very blessed
My heart hurts for so many of you who have to deal with so many more problems than I have. My 85 year old husband wasn't diagnosed formally until last year, and we were told by the neurophysiologist that there were several factors predictive if a slow progression for the disease. I can see changes but he is still fairly…
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How to move on humanely?
DBF has about reached the point where he needs more care than I can give him. He can still dress himself, cook if supervised. He goes down to his shop and putts around for a few hours a day. His sister and I used to keep an eye on him but she recently passed away from cancer. Since then, I've been taking care of him by my…
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I am not sure my wife is coming back this time
My wife had the longest psychotic episode ever, it is still ongoing. It started at 3 in the morning Sunday. She is a text book Jekyll/Hyde behavior. Sweet and loving one minute spitting venom the next. That is what I have been referring to as psychotic episodes is the Hyde part of her behavior. There is no talking or…
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First day in MC
DH was transferred to memory Care from the hospital. He had broken his ankle in 2 places over 2 weeks ago. MC is in the bldg next to our independent living apt. I visited him and was happy that the staff was so welcoming etc. He has trouble getting up out of his recliner. He is wearing a boot. He had to use the bathroom…
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Covid at the geripsych
I was just getting ready to go visit and see the sw,when I got a call, they have positive cases at the unit and my wife is positive with no symptoms. I hung up before asking if they were going to treat her duh. Now I can't get thru. They shut the unit down for 5 to 7 days. They require visitors to be masked and I always…
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Socializing during Covid
DH was diagnosed with MCI last year, we have pretty well kept to ourselves last 2 + years, DH is 84, very few of his friends are alive nearby if any. Last week my daughter & family from England came to visit us after 3 years. I noticed a definite improvement in DH while we socialized with them. During 36 years of marriage,…
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Forum Messaging is on the Fritz
Apparently, no one cares to fix it. Reported twice.
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Suggestions for a GPS Tracker/Watch
Hi Everyone: I am in need of suggestions for a digital watch with gps tracking features. Nothing too fancy as DH has challenges figuring out gadgets. Appreciate your suggestions.
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All mixed up
Nine years ago I retired early to care for my mom, dad, and husband (all in dementia) in two homes two miles apart. Tonight we have four homes amongst us. My mom went to heaven last Christmas. My husband is in memory care sharing a room with who he believes is his wife. My ninety eight year old dad’s house is empty…
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Immobility and Bowel Incontinence
I frequent the boards every day to read and get some advice. But now, I need to ask for help. My DH is immobile, and at the moment can use a sit to stand device to get up from bed and chair. He is only out of bed around five hours a day. I believe he has become bowel incontinent. He didn't know last night that he had…
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Hearing Aids?
My DH was approved for hearing aids last year by the ENT. Trouble is, he loses everything and every day we are on the hunt for something. I am also not sure if hearing better would add another confusion dimension for him. He's at the point where we can barely communicate sine he has trouble processing words and sentences…
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Memory Care- Don't wait to long to place LO
I'm Hoot and I always planned on taking care of DW at home. I hadn't realized how it was taking a toll on me and also on Jan my DW. It's getting so I can't keep Me under control, I try to do the right things but it just doesn't work out. DW is constantly hollering at me and I end up doing the same. Any thing I try to for…
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Is Memory Care A Marketing Term?
I listened to a recorded presentation from a CELA in Wisconsin, and learned a lot about medical and financial poa’s, as well as financing long term care. She stated that memory care is a marketing term used by the industry to attract patients with dementia and charge extra fees. In Wisconsin at least, it is not a medical…
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Steady state covid Currently 500 deaths a day
Covid has become endemic in the USA the current death toll is about 500 per day for a comparison there are about 67 homicides per day in the USA Alzheimer's patients remain at very high risk https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid19/excess_deaths.htm
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I think placement could be on the horizon
Well today I was doing a surprise visit to a place that I had seen before, this time its lunch time. Smelled got to see that the common eating area that isn't big enough. And the supper room could seat about 6 max. So some folks ate in the rooms, that's OK though. Plenty of help. Asked about their patient staff ratio, had…
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DW Angry About Having a Caregiver
Hi All: My first post here. My DW is declining rapidly. It is very difficult to deal with her anger. I am trying my 2nd Caregiver today and she is beyond angry. I would full time at home and it is so hard to work and ensure she eats, etc. Ideas on how to have her open to a Caregiver?
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I am at my wits end..........
I have mentioned before that DH constantly insists he needs to go home and find his mother. Home has been sold long ago and his mother has been dead for 10 years..........he has lost his license to drive and keeps insisting he needs the truck keys. In the past I have been able to talk him down but now it's become an all…
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It just occurred to me
We talk quite a bit of memories we have of/with our loved ones. It just occurred to me that when I'm gone, those memories will also be gone. Just like they never happened. That's a sobering thought.
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What stage do you think we are in?
After being home the past couple of months for summer break I've noticed what seems to me to be quite a decline in my DH but am unsure what stage I'd say he was in. Sleeping is my biggest bone. He is constantly waking up in the middle of the night starting around 2am. He gets up and shuffles around the room, looking out…
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Psychotic episode response
My wife woke up at 3 this morning wanting to take all the kids home. There are no kids just me and a dog. Its as if the dog and I look at each other with here a we go again head nod. Like a team that has played and practiced a lot together. She has her job I have mine. There was a time psychotic episodes scared the wits…
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Chronic headache after Covid vaccine
DW has had a headache all day, every day since she got her first Covid shot over a year ago. Has anyone else heard of this?
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Another funny thing my wife said
This morning my wife says all excited "I remembered something today, I forgot what it was but I remembered it !" That line made my day.