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I Miss A Real Wife
Did that title grab your attention? This will be a somewhat long, therapeutic post. I have been married to my dear wife for 26 years, with nearly seven of those years in the dementia/caregiving scenario. Fully one quarter of my marriage has been overshadowed by dementia. I miss having a real wife. We had just 19 years…
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I don't know if I can do this(1)
I had a care team meeting today. Everything is going according to schedule, they are giving her 1000mg of depakote, 10 mg lexapro. She hasn't needed any melatonin for sleep. She got 9 hrs sleep yesterday. The blood level of the depakote is 29. She sometimes joins in the group and sometimes not. She is bull headed and when…
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DW is screaming a lot, talking very loud
She has been doing this for the last month and getting louder. Are there meds to give her here in Michigan that a primary Doc can give her. On another note we have a Take Five program here in the UP of Michigan. Take her there and drop her off for 5 hours. I only wish that I would have used it when I first heard about it.…
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Comcast is out!!
After about 15 or so years with Comcast, I finally am getting rid of it. I'll easily save $100.00 a month, even after streaming services. Now maybe we can eat, or we can get medications.
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A Hospital Misadventure
On Monday morning a nurse from the MC called to say they found DW slumped over and thought it was possibly a stroke of TIA, they called 911 and she would be transported to the hospital. I headed straight to the hospital and arrived shortly after the ambulance arrived. They did a CT scan which ruled out a stroke but not a…
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Points and grunts!
Dh has had a hard time trying to get his words together for a couple of years. But he would try. The past couple of months he was just doing yep or nope. Lately he has started just pointing and grunting. I have looked back at a lot of older post and didn’t find anything about this. (Doesn’t mean i didn’t miss some). I have…
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Committed
I watched Victoria Osteen today and she described being committed as “doing what you don’t want to do.” Boy did that hit the nail on the head for me as a caregiver. I can think of so many things I do but don’t want to. What don’t you want to do?
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Interesting Read(3)
Scooterr's post about his wife got me to thinking about a book I read 2 or 3 years ago: Unthinkable: What the World's Most Extraordinary Brains Can Teach Us About Our Own. The book alternated between case studies of real people and a discussion of how our brains work and think. The book has nothing to do with dementia. But…
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Update on death certificate
Following the directions from the Indiana state website (thanks Jo), I called the funeral home. They told me they couldn't do anything because everything they did was right. They told me I needed to get in touch with the doctor, but there are few times when a doctor would be willing to change it. I told them I would call…
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Another line in the sand
Sorry to vent...I've had quite a morning. I know that last week I posted about DH peeing in public (no UTI) and wasn't sure what to do. I did buy a portable urinal and I have it in the car (thanks for the suggestion). This morning, I discovered a mess in our large furnace room. DH loves to close all the doors in our home…
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Anxiety(3)
My DH has always had some anxiety in his life, now he seems to have it all the time and cannot even say why. He says it is driving him nuts. Any suggestions on how you handle anxiety with your LO? Thank you.
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Flip of a Switch
Just checking in to say I'm still around. Things are progressing faster than I'd like but it is part of the disease. We have had some really bad days and some short nights. We are all tired from having to deal with the progression. DH has become more verbally aggressive towards DS and I. It goes on for hours and we get to…
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Bats in the attic and feeling alone
We live in a big two and a half story house that is over a hundred years old. There are bats in the attic...again. We have battled with this for more than twenty years. Bats have batbugs. These are similar to bedbugs and can end up in people's beds. That is exactly what has happened...again...and I am the one getting bit!…
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FYI(13)
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/could-happen-you-michael-ellenbogen-
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back to square one---or less
At the urging of the activities director I made another attempt to take lunch today, but it was even worse than Friday and I left after about ten minutes. Clearly she just does not tolerate my presence, it's too intense, all she wants is to get out of there and is upset with me for not making it happen. I was so hopeful…
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Garden Pics
More later, but wanted to share these photos from our garden. The first and second one were taken yesterday and today. The other was taken a few years ago.
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Geripsych update
I just wanted to give an update on how its going with my dw day 2. I called to she how she is doing and the cna told me she didn't eat lunch and she slowed down on asking about her pocketbook. I asked if she had her hearing aides and they said she did, whew, they are not broken. The cna also noted that dw was talking to…
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Double Whammy
Our southern California daughter and her husband came to visit from last Thursday to this morning. Things are always a bit discombobulated when they come as they often use us as a central point for other activities and our SIL likes to keep busy. I keep a to do list for when they come. SoCal daughter is the younger of our…
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Er update
I know so many of my forum friends are going thru so much so I will try to be brief. Dw was transfered to a geripsych unit this morning at 2am. They had given her 1mg of amb???? It really helped her get some sleep before they transfered her by cruiser. I talked to someone a few minutes ago and they explained the possible…
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Geriatric psych admission
My husband has been admitted to geriatric psych center due to aggression. Discharge postponed due to exacerbation of aggressive behavior.
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Rjheld
Hi Rjheld, you asked the question about your dh being cold and having balance problems. My dh is always cold! He still wears winter clothes and we are in Texas where lately the temperature outside is is over 100 degrees! He is in stage late 5 early 6 . According to his doctors they list that as moderate to severe. His…
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Cautionary tale
My DW, late Stage 6, lives in Memory Care. As progression occurs her posture bending over and balance have become an issue. She forgets to use her walker and has had a series of falls lately. She is going to now use a wheelchair. She has good bone structure, not frail. But last week a more serious fall with significant…
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A light sweet reprieve
Random, precious convo yesterday, with my DW’s speech clear and a couple of thoughts strung together: DW: I’d like to be like you. Me: that’s nice. Why is that? DW: because you’re good Me: thanks for saying that. You’re good too. DW: I love you.
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Hiring a caregiver
Well I did it. I signed on to care.com where independent contractors are matched with care needs. Great business model. It is a subscription site so you can pay monthly quarterly and annually. I paid for one month $38.95. I found someone that matches our needs and we meet her tomorrow. Her first day will be on the 16th so…
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update on husband still in hospital
DH is still in the hospital but is being discharged tomorrow. It's been 4 weeks 4 days (but who's counting). He is now bed ridden and incontinent, since the hospital staff hasn't gotten him up. I can't wait for him to get out of there. They helped with medical issues but I know they don't have the training or time for an…
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What good is a dpoa
Dw managed to get the truck running with her bad key at home while I was talking to a nurse about preparing to go to the hospital. I called 911 they put out a bolo and they were filling out the paperwork at home and she showed back up. I had the police call for ems thinking she gonna go now! Guess what she answered 2…
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2nd visit to see my husband
Today I got to memory care and they were playing bingo. He was sitting between two women and laughing with them. I used the time to straighten his room. He was glad to see me and I suggested a walk. He has slowed down in the past three weeks and we only did a short walk in the halls and courtyard. I think he has totally…
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Weight loss(3)
While my wife was home, before MC, she went through a period of rapid weight loss. 40 lbs in 6 months, size 6 to size 2. Working with her doctors, we kept her weight stable with supplements and calorie dense food. Once in MC, she started to lose weight again, and we’ve been trying the same tactics of keeping her intake up.…
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We moved
I haven't had chance to post since my DH and I moved. It has been 4 weeks now. Before we moved, my DH was showing signs of loss of executive function. I would ask him to do something and he would end up doing something else. That still goes on. We haven't gotten into any social activities in the new community yet. I am…
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Need to be on the go