-
When to take the next step
My DH's physician (who is also my physician) has suggested that it is time for placement. A friend who has worked for many years with senior citizens said that many of her clients say they wished they had placed their LOs 2 years earlier. I read what some of you are doing to keep your LOs in the home and am amazed that…
-
Search bar
I know a lot of folks complain about the search bar and how limited it seems. Now I want to say KUDOS to the web team for keeping us safe from the web. Sure some trolls find the forum, but the fact that our threads are safe from the Google search bar searches is a testament of how safe I feel here. Maybe we don't say it…
-
Adult Children -Support vs Help
The post on "When to ask children for Help" brought up what has become for me a very important distinction. I recognize that this may be for a s somewhat limited audience as there are those on the forum that do not even have this option to consider. Is it help or support that is expected? My personal experience was as a…
-
This is for newbies
I am putting a little information here for newbies. This will help you understand what might be ahead, and where to look for more help/info. Others may post different links of interest. Come back to check for more. First of all I'd like to share the names of two people who have youtube videos that should be very helpful.…
-
Just let it go
I was lurking on the caregiver board and someone brought up "What give you a headache ?". A lot of answers were actual headaches as opposed to what is your biggest annoyance ? The first thing on my list is I used to be a creature of habit, schedules and routines. I have had to reprogram my thinking to still be functional…
-
Young@heart posted this
(young@heart, you would have received replies if you would have started a new topic instead of posting this on an existing thread, that might be nearing it's end.) I'd like to hear from some of you about experiences caring for someone diagnosed with D, ALZ in their 80's. Does the alz progress slowly?, more quickly? If it…
-
Caretaker coming to our home
I have someone coming to assist us....if I tell MH it's to help him he'll get furious...I need suggestions on how to explain this to him.
-
When to ask children for support?
Year two into DH dementia. Our children have been kept informed throughout this process. I am that person that never wants to burden my kids with “how I feel or how I am dealing or maybe just ask me - Mom how are things? They are young have children of their own and very involved in their childrens lives and building their…
-
Help with changing subject
Can anyone help me. My Husband has dementia. Diagnosed 4 years ago. He is stuck on a certain subject. He wants to do something that we have told him its not reasonable to do. That he doesn't need to do it. He keeps getting anger with us. He withdraws into himself after his argument. I don't like seeing him withdraw like…
-
Daily Delusion of Unfaithfulness
Hi, We have been together for 40 years. DH is 78 an I am 60. A year ago DH had a defining episode, that uncovered a host of cognitive issues and DH, who drove, went to appointments alone and did most of the financial and shopping, became dependent on others. It has been a rocky road with his progressive decline every 3…
-
Pacing/I want to go home
Hi friends, My dh constantly paces and says "I want to go home" all day long! I distract him by getting in the car and going for a drive but can't do that all day. He has been going to a wonderful day care program but is now closing and just so sad about that. I am going crazy with this behavior. He constantly says my name…
-
I took DW golfing again
I took my happy delusional wife golfing yesterday. Even though it was the hottest day on record she did great. She got that look in her eye she gets right before she flips to delusional angry at hole 16. We we waiting for the group ahead of us and we were standing around bullshipping at the tee. In her reality she is…
-
Grr-r-rrr DMV and DH
What's worse than having to go to the DMV to renew your driver's license? Having to take your DH with you. Our state became a Real ID state which means to renew your license you have to have all kinds of proof to show that you are really you and that you live at the address that's on your license. I had all of my paperwork…
-
off topic: Late summer
One of the many beautiful things my partner has done on the farm is to replant 57 acres of native grasses. This was a very interesting project, involved working with Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency for free seed, seed drill, and access to very, very expensive selective herbicide to get rid the fescue and broadleaf…
-
A phone call, a visit
Got to briefly FaceTime with my partner today for the first time in three weeks. She looked awful. Was just let out of covid quarantine yesterday, and she still looked quite ill and very tired, very confused. Going to take lunch on Tuesday, will be the first in person visit in almost two months. I don't know what to hope…
-
5 years in Memory care-Random thoughts
This month DW will hit 5 years in memory care. Her good physical condition is a tribute to good facility care and a fine personal caretaker. But her brain is completely gone . The wonderful woman I married 47 years ago is long gone. Please do not suggest that she is "in there" and just can't communicate. That just hurts .…
-
Phone Calls
If you had a parent with AD that is making multiple phone calls to friends and family on an hourly basis (and these are brief calls, pleasant and conversational, but they do ask the same questions that were asked previously) how would you respond? Do you disconnect the landline? Do you try to establish a boundary (do not…
-
An empty chair and being bedridden
My DH has to be in bed because he can't pull himself out of his lift recliner in late afternoon. And I am so frustrated because of this In this case, I don't think it is the end stages. He has been immobile for over 3 years. He can still feed himself, knows when he has to go to the bathroom, can laugh with me, understands…
-
Off topic(1)
So I wanted to start a thread that asks the question. "What do you still do for your lo even though it may not matter anymore? I still push mow the area close to the house, because dw didn't like the way the rider mower did it. It takes me an hour to push mow and I don't dilly around. I figure I get some good cardio and I…
-
Support cushions, looking for suggestions
I am the husband and primary caregiver for my wife. As new challenges arise in her care I have been doing pretty well at meeting them and coming up with solutions so far. Now I am hoping to get some suggestions for a few problems. I have noticed that she is having more trouble sitting upright and keeping her head up. This…
-
Fascinating
Today we are home alone and I have nothing scheduled I have to do work wise so I am all the way in the moment with my wife. Today she is delusional happy. I am going along with everything she is saying hallucination wise. In her reality we are at work and she is a new hire that has absolutely no idea what she is supposed…
-
End stage is so hard
And it seems to go on and on. DH is end stage of Alz, but not actively dying. This has been going on since Nov. He is 66 and was diagnosed 6 years ago. His decline was fast. He was relatively young and healthy so I feared he'd get to this end stage rather than die of something else. So here we are. He's been in MC two…
-
Starting to Feel I Need Help
My DH who’s is 18 years my senior was diagnosed in 2018 w Alz. I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions and have gone through the stages of grief. Now I accept though the continued changes are very challenging. My sons are now out of the house and being alone w my DH is lonely and stressful but still I feel I’ve…
-
Alternative to Colonoscy
Today we went for our annual Wellness Check. Handyman went grudgingly saying he did not need it and it is just a way for the Docs to make a quick buck. What ever. I fibbed and said we could lose our Medicare Coverage. He went, but pouted in the car the whole way. Again…what ever…he went. Things were just find until we got…
-
She is on to the next level
Well we had a few good days. I have learned to appreciate good days with reserve. It's never a good day trend. They seem to be calms before the next storm. My wife is 100% psychotic now. Extremely angry her reality is in another place and another time. It seems like hell. She can have a few moments of calm and right back…
-
Question about olanzapine
My dw has been on olanzapine which is zyprexa for about a month and a half, she take 7.5 in the morning, 2.5 at noon and 7.5 at night. I am noticing her sundowning is getting a little worse. Every thing I have read said 20mg is the daily max. Is anybody out there giving more than that? I am worried that if they need to…
-
Behavior and rapid decline
hi, LO was diagnosed w/AZ in April. Since then, and especially over the past month or so, I've seen his behavior spiral down. He has frequent temper tantrums that seem to last for days. Usually it's because he can't find something, or can't read numbers on his phone. But, today was way different. I heard commotion in the…
-
Strange What I Will Call A Win
As many of you know I placed DW 9-1/2 months ago and as I previously posted she is happy at the MC and has never asked about home. Also it has been several years since DW acknowledged that I am her husband. So yesterday when I arrived for a visit the first thing she said was, “I’m going to kill you”, I responded “what” and…
-
On Further Reflection
Some long-time members here might recall that several years ago I produced a photo calendar, In Her View. It featured the professional quality photographs taken by my wife before her 14 year (so far) journey in dementia began. I wanted to celebrate her talent, her ability to see beauty in a scene most of us would pay no…
-
Care Facility Search
Just a quick vent. I’ve used my precious free time to tour two facilities this week. I have another scheduled for Friday. The marketing of assisted living and memory care facilities comes straight from the new car sales textbook. Maybe we’ll watch Cadillac Man tonight.