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DH with EOAD just need to share
Hello all. I have some questions that I'm sure some of you might be able to advise. My DH was only 59 when diagnosed with EOAD in June of 2020. Symptoms for at least 3 years prior. In Oct. 2021 he had a bad seizure, hospitalized, came home a different person with violent behaviors. Meds have helped with that. Fast forward…
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Dementia language and PWDs
The language that is used to describe PWDs is disheartening and demoralizing, IMO. I don't see any hope for the future. When I first joined, a PWD referred to himself as "brain-dead". I gently chided him, telling him he was not brain-dead and to not refer to himself that way. But several caregivers also used that term to…
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Home care vs facility care -- What is the basis of this Johns Hopkins claim that home care is better
A non-research article on the Johns Hopkins site, https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/safe-and-happy-at-home states that "Research shows keeping a loved one with dementia at home helps them be happier and live longer" and similarly that "Of the 5.8 million people in the United States who have…
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Anticipatory Grief?
My wife (age 57) was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in February. I've been told that early onset is usually rapid onset (yep). Her steady progression is painful to watch and the knowledge of where this is going is a constant cloud. It breaks my heart to read others' posts further along in the disease. It breaks my…
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Invitations-clue me in
Forgot how to do it- That's a Finnish Genius for you!
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EOAD -- family history?
Of course when DH was first diagnosed 2 years ago, first question was "is there any family history". Well, there is not, but my husband did have a bad car accident with head injury when he was in his mid 20's. For those with EOAD, I'm interested if your spouse has family history, or any traumatic head injury, or just bad…
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A Fib and UTI
DH fainted in the kitchen yesterday morning, ambulance to the ER where he was diagnosed with A Fib and UTI and admitted to the hospital. He's still in the hospital for tweaking of meds and getting the right UTI antibiotic. My dilemma now is low dose aspirin or blood thinner for the A Fib. The hospital doctor told me to…
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Called a Memory Care place
This morning I called again and at the same time was hoping they haven't got a opening. Am I going nuts, she needs better care than I can give her. They haven't called back yet. She's sitting in chair in front room TV is on. I don't think she is getting much out of it. Dr. Pol & Andy Griffith are her favorites, likes…
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It has been one week since my DW went into MC.
First I want to thank Beachfan for her posts about placing her DH. Those posts helped me with coming to my own acceptance of having to place my DW. I have posted before as to why I placed her so I won't go through that again. Suffice to say she needed more care than I could sustain despite the fact that I have always loved…
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When to take the next step
My DH's physician (who is also my physician) has suggested that it is time for placement. A friend who has worked for many years with senior citizens said that many of her clients say they wished they had placed their LOs 2 years earlier. I read what some of you are doing to keep your LOs in the home and am amazed that…
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Search bar
I know a lot of folks complain about the search bar and how limited it seems. Now I want to say KUDOS to the web team for keeping us safe from the web. Sure some trolls find the forum, but the fact that our threads are safe from the Google search bar searches is a testament of how safe I feel here. Maybe we don't say it…
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Adult Children -Support vs Help
The post on "When to ask children for Help" brought up what has become for me a very important distinction. I recognize that this may be for a s somewhat limited audience as there are those on the forum that do not even have this option to consider. Is it help or support that is expected? My personal experience was as a…
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This is for newbies
I am putting a little information here for newbies. This will help you understand what might be ahead, and where to look for more help/info. Others may post different links of interest. Come back to check for more. First of all I'd like to share the names of two people who have youtube videos that should be very helpful.…
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Just let it go
I was lurking on the caregiver board and someone brought up "What give you a headache ?". A lot of answers were actual headaches as opposed to what is your biggest annoyance ? The first thing on my list is I used to be a creature of habit, schedules and routines. I have had to reprogram my thinking to still be functional…
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Young@heart posted this
(young@heart, you would have received replies if you would have started a new topic instead of posting this on an existing thread, that might be nearing it's end.) I'd like to hear from some of you about experiences caring for someone diagnosed with D, ALZ in their 80's. Does the alz progress slowly?, more quickly? If it…
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Caretaker coming to our home
I have someone coming to assist us....if I tell MH it's to help him he'll get furious...I need suggestions on how to explain this to him.
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When to ask children for support?
Year two into DH dementia. Our children have been kept informed throughout this process. I am that person that never wants to burden my kids with “how I feel or how I am dealing or maybe just ask me - Mom how are things? They are young have children of their own and very involved in their childrens lives and building their…
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Help with changing subject
Can anyone help me. My Husband has dementia. Diagnosed 4 years ago. He is stuck on a certain subject. He wants to do something that we have told him its not reasonable to do. That he doesn't need to do it. He keeps getting anger with us. He withdraws into himself after his argument. I don't like seeing him withdraw like…
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Daily Delusion of Unfaithfulness
Hi, We have been together for 40 years. DH is 78 an I am 60. A year ago DH had a defining episode, that uncovered a host of cognitive issues and DH, who drove, went to appointments alone and did most of the financial and shopping, became dependent on others. It has been a rocky road with his progressive decline every 3…
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Pacing/I want to go home
Hi friends, My dh constantly paces and says "I want to go home" all day long! I distract him by getting in the car and going for a drive but can't do that all day. He has been going to a wonderful day care program but is now closing and just so sad about that. I am going crazy with this behavior. He constantly says my name…
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I took DW golfing again
I took my happy delusional wife golfing yesterday. Even though it was the hottest day on record she did great. She got that look in her eye she gets right before she flips to delusional angry at hole 16. We we waiting for the group ahead of us and we were standing around bullshipping at the tee. In her reality she is…
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Grr-r-rrr DMV and DH
What's worse than having to go to the DMV to renew your driver's license? Having to take your DH with you. Our state became a Real ID state which means to renew your license you have to have all kinds of proof to show that you are really you and that you live at the address that's on your license. I had all of my paperwork…
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off topic: Late summer
One of the many beautiful things my partner has done on the farm is to replant 57 acres of native grasses. This was a very interesting project, involved working with Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency for free seed, seed drill, and access to very, very expensive selective herbicide to get rid the fescue and broadleaf…
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A phone call, a visit
Got to briefly FaceTime with my partner today for the first time in three weeks. She looked awful. Was just let out of covid quarantine yesterday, and she still looked quite ill and very tired, very confused. Going to take lunch on Tuesday, will be the first in person visit in almost two months. I don't know what to hope…
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5 years in Memory care-Random thoughts
This month DW will hit 5 years in memory care. Her good physical condition is a tribute to good facility care and a fine personal caretaker. But her brain is completely gone . The wonderful woman I married 47 years ago is long gone. Please do not suggest that she is "in there" and just can't communicate. That just hurts .…
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Phone Calls
If you had a parent with AD that is making multiple phone calls to friends and family on an hourly basis (and these are brief calls, pleasant and conversational, but they do ask the same questions that were asked previously) how would you respond? Do you disconnect the landline? Do you try to establish a boundary (do not…
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An empty chair and being bedridden
My DH has to be in bed because he can't pull himself out of his lift recliner in late afternoon. And I am so frustrated because of this In this case, I don't think it is the end stages. He has been immobile for over 3 years. He can still feed himself, knows when he has to go to the bathroom, can laugh with me, understands…
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Off topic(1)
So I wanted to start a thread that asks the question. "What do you still do for your lo even though it may not matter anymore? I still push mow the area close to the house, because dw didn't like the way the rider mower did it. It takes me an hour to push mow and I don't dilly around. I figure I get some good cardio and I…
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Support cushions, looking for suggestions
I am the husband and primary caregiver for my wife. As new challenges arise in her care I have been doing pretty well at meeting them and coming up with solutions so far. Now I am hoping to get some suggestions for a few problems. I have noticed that she is having more trouble sitting upright and keeping her head up. This…
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Fascinating
Today we are home alone and I have nothing scheduled I have to do work wise so I am all the way in the moment with my wife. Today she is delusional happy. I am going along with everything she is saying hallucination wise. In her reality we are at work and she is a new hire that has absolutely no idea what she is supposed…