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Thoughts, advice
My DH’s adult daughters had a falling out about 7 years ago and have not spoken to each other. My DH currently believes that they have repaired their relationship and says he he happy about that. It is not true and we will be invited to events on both sides in the near future…. A dance recital may involve both parties…
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Am I being deceitful?
I am struggling that I am deceiving my dw. I am telling her I did this or that to keep her from doing it multiple times. She doesn't have 10 seconds of working memory. The pandemic thing is a go to for a lot things. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right. When the questions don't matter I just use the ohh, yeah. She asks…
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variable awareness of own illness in the early stages
I am reaching out to those caring for a spouse in the early stages, or who remember doing so. Apologies for the long post. Jennifer Ghent-Fuller's "Understanding the dementia experience" includes a section on "Insight", where she differentiates two extremes... (1) the person with intact ability to have insight into their…
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Err on the side of caution
I have been trying hard to use “acting” as a way to soften the hard edges of my efforts to keep my DH safe. In my desire to err on the side of caution, no matter how kindly I try “to act,” DH discounts and despises my efforts. When I calmly unplugged the toaster before he used a knife to dig out his toasted bun, a…
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DH refusing to use CPAP
For six years my husband has worn a CPAP full face mask to bed each night. Even though he gets up 6-8 times a night due to anxiety and overactive bladder, he put the mask back on when he returned to bed. But, in the last week he will put it on then remove it within minutes or refuse to wear it at all. Has anyone…
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the safety link?
Anybody have the link/list handy about the steps to protect yourself if a PWD gets aggressive? My tenant needs it. for his parents. I must not have saved it. I know it's here, it's been on several threads including LT's in the past....it's what I used on Friday, the bit about a safe room and having your phone with you and…
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Should I move DH from MC to nursing home?
DH has been in MC for almost 18 months. Three months ago he had a sudden decline (no, it wasn't a UTI) and has been bedbound since. He can't walk, smile, talking ended a long time ago, or feed himself. He's late stage 7. Here's the issue: He has to be hand fed and technically the MC staff can't do that. However, they are…
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Sweet success
DH was smiling when I picked him up from day care today. He said he was really proud of himself. I asked him why he was so proud. He replied that he was the only guy in his group who didn’t fall asleep today.
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When a PWD nails it
Out of the blue tonight, at the dinner table, my DW turned to me and said, ‘I have lost so much.’ Indeed. We both have.
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Therapeutic fibs
Oh this has been so hard. I told my loved one today that his Dr. wanted him to go to nursing home. And has Dr. had mentioned it to us almost a year ago. So I didn't really fib, but I feel like I did because I did not tell him that I thought it was a good idea also. I fibbed and told him it was just for a month. It won't…
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I thought this was a good session.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0mDmmb_LwE
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Transition from Assisted Living to Long Term Care
Hi all, I need help and support. My best friend and my partner is going to be moved from an assisted living facility to a long term care facility on Wednesday morning. He does not know this yet. He is currently in a hospital. He will be discharged Wednesday morning and go to the nursing home and not back to the assisted…
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Epiphany
There’s nothing I can do to make DW happy. No special song No long-loved movie No gourmet meal No hug No sitting down to look at family photos The best I can do it try to enjoy those things myself. She is usually content, but often miserable. It takes real effort to keep her bouts of misery from destroying my well-being.
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What do I do?(2)
My dw is losing her crafting ability. She crochets and she is having increasing trouble with making things. So I know she's gonna lose her ability. What can I do? She's getting increasingly frustrated not getting it right. Anybody out there been thru this. Is she gonna just quit doing it on her own? She spends so much time…
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Respite Day 3 of Five
Hello Forum Family and Friends. My other respite post was actually day one. Today is day three. DH will come home on Monday. I had to make myself a chart to keep it straight. Here are some self care things I have been doing: * Eating fruits and vegetables, including fresh salads. * Getting more steps according to my…
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Trouble with bathing
Every time I try to get my DW to take a bath she gets very defensive and starts to cry. I try to calmly explain the need for bathing and show her how I have everything prepared ahead of time. She spends most of the time sitting on the toilet next to the tub. Finally, I have to come in and have her step into the tub myself.…
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@ Sorrickba
Hello Sorrickba, I read a post you made on another thread. I am encouraging you to please start a new thread about the issues you are dealing with at home with your husband. Pat6177 replied to you on the other thread and offered some excellent advice. You are in dire need of help and suggestions from members here who have…
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pre loss grief
Interesting Article Understanding family members’ grief for a living loved one Study looks at factors that influence pre-loss grief May 10th, 2021 The symptoms of grief people feel for a loved one facing a life-limiting illness fluctuate over time, a new study found – suggesting that individuals can adjust to their…
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New noises, outside care, and wow
Hi, well, my DH is progressing. He still lives at home. I am his wife and 24/7 caregiver. Questions: I’m having trouble finding outside male caregivers to come on and help at our home just occasionally. My DH has incontinence/restroom problems, and a lot of folks don’t want to deal with that. Any suggestions where I might…
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She's Sooo needy
Is there anybody who's got experience with a LO who is just so needy? I'm not talking about needing help with things, just needing constant attention or companionship. All The Time. Does this ever end? If this is just a stage my wife is going through, it's a darn* long one. Like shadowing on steroids. It's been like this…
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decreasing memory
I know DH’s short term memory has been getting worse. Today though it really hit home. My nephew and his wife came to visit. First time we have seen them since 12/19. They were here almost four hours. I dug out the good china and we enjoyed a nice meal. About an hour after they left, DH asks if I want to go out to eat. I…
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Stopped taking pills
Husband has stopped taking all his pills for 2 days. He has dementia and bipolar drugs. I’ve told him dr said he will go to hospital if he quits taking his pills. Any other ideas?
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@M1
You ok? No need for a full update. We are thinking of you and sending positive energy for your safety — loads of encouragement and moral support at this tough, sad time. Stay safe. Leave if you need to. (911 or others can keep your LO safe). Maybe friends can stay over too, just to get through this weekend.…
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A good read!
I ran across this. It is long but chock full of great info from diagnosis to care. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3159541/
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What symptoms have you seen with early Alzheimer’s?
My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2020. (The neurologist could not diagnose dementia. We will be finding another one…) While taking the cognitive test for the first time, he did have issues drawing the clock. He has had short-term memory issues for at least 3 years prior to his MCI diagnosis (maybe many years before…
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Vitruvious
In another thread you said "Please ignore me, everyone else here does. " I'm wondering if you've been asking questions or asking for help in a thread that was started by someone else, and has had several replies. I doubt that anyone here is intentionally ignoring you. If you have a question, or would just like to have…
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Spilling coke on carpet
My wife has knocked her glass over more than once. What looked like new carpeting now doesn't look quite as good, but I've been able to do a pretty good job of getting the spills out of the carpeting. I found there are mugs that are supposed to be spill proof. There are more than one manufacturer, and I wondered if any of…
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Respite Day 2 of Five
The skilled nursing facility (SNF) picked up DH yesterday at 9:30 am. He will stay at the SNF until Monday morning. I encountered a couple of hiccups along the way. The first challenge was making the decision to take advantage of the hospice provided respite. The second challenge was getting DH into the facility I…
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Priorities in educating younger generations/general public re spousal caregiving?
I have the opportunity to be on a panel discussion for our local branch of the state university next week... unless I chicken out. The topic is about spousal caregiver experience with dementia/Alzheimer's. My understanding is, there will be perhaps a group of 3 or 4 of us caregivers responding to questions from a…
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A brief glimpse of the man who could always make me laugh...
DH has declined to pretty much word salad for the past month. I almost missed this. As I was prompting him to get ready for bed, he turned to me and said (with absolute clarity), "First, I'm going to take a pee," then turns his back on me and says, "You can have all the other letters." How about that?!