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Things are looking up
I phoned our social worker and asked for some respite care. Next week it will begin. I also have gotten my husband into a day program to keep him amused, one day a week to see how he will take to it.I am getting used to six hours of sleep a night, it is amazing what one can deal with. I don’t get as angry but now I am…
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This should not be political - it's about time
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/biden-proposes-major-nursing-home-reforms-most-extensive-in-decades-18737?
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First theft
Well we crossed another threshold today, my partner asked me if someone had been here "while we were out" to steal things from her room. Of course we haven't been out. The Seroquel she takes for sleep may keep this dampened, but it is a new delusion, for sure. Didn't last very long, but there it is. Of course, the disease…
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Let's play hide and seek
Yesterday I noticed my wife did not have her upper denture in. I asked her what she did with it. She laughed, and told me she didn't know. We don't have a very large house anymore, but I haven't found it yet. Yes, I checked the garbage. On the bright side, that's more steak for me.
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Just checking in.
Mom's vital signs are still good. She continues to lose herself. However, she had a really good day yesterday! She was more alert and responsive. She even spoke a sentence! Said to the sitter, "What are you doing"? She made duck lips at dad all day. That means she wants a kiss. His heart was happy! The weather is beautiful…
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A caregiver course for $7.00
The price is right, and I thought someone might be interested. https://www.makecaregivingeasier.com/launch-page-11632866235960
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It is the loved ones/caregivers who bear the deepest burden and suffering.
I lost my father after an incredibly long battle with Alzheimer's about 15 months ago. Wanting to help others finding themselves in the same horrible and overwhelming situation, I wrote an essay about the experience, which was just published. I wrote it not only to tell my story, but to raise awareness, provide insight…
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The futility of reason and pleasing
This morning I sneezed and my HWD shouted “Shut the f&@& up.” This was a lesson to me that my actions are, at times, always going to anger him no matter if they are kind, involuntary, whatever. Sometimes you just can’t do anything right, and it is not my fault.
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Not nearly prepared
I'm a substitute teacher and this morning I noticed was the first day the sun was coming over the mountains to the east. As I was crossing in the cross walk from the parking lot to the school I looked to my right and thought, that SUV isn't going to stop for me so I started running and barely missing getting hit. The lady…
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Anosognesia
DH has mild Dementia, gets angry when I say he has memory problems. How should I behave? How can I help him? Does MET therapy help? Memory enhancement therapy Anyone going thru this?
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Financial cost for assisted living and memory care
Here in Virginia, it runs around $ 10,000. Per month. I think memory care may be more! If Medicare doesn’t help financially, how is a person on a fixed income supposed to pay this hefty bill! I am sure lot of caregivers would be in the same predicament as me! Your thoughts please!
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apps that can entertain
I'm no longer looking for a "fix" for my DW. I'm told the facility she is in used to have quite a few "activities" from the outside but with Covid there is almost NO stimulation provided. Mostly the residents sit around in wheelchairs and stare blankly at game shows on TV in the common area. When my beloved is lucid enough…
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So it begins
About six weeks ago I shared that DH had what we think was a TIA and had wet himself. Since then, he has had a few more "accidents." Two night ago, he was brushing his teeth before bed and remarked that he must have spilled some water because the floor was wet. It wasn't water. Yesterday late afternoon, he came upstairs…
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Didion quote
I am a huge fan of the late Joan Didion. Ran across this quote from her which I had written down in my journal: "I know what the fear is. The fear is not for what is lost. What is lost is already in the wall.. What is lost is already behind the locked door. The fear is for what is still to be lost." From Blue Nights--Joan…
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I must stop hating
My husband and I have been married for 57 years. We grew up together, shared our lives, raised children, had phenomenal careers, traveled, laughed, cried; we’re best friends. Now Alzheimer’s Disease has robbed him of all he was. No one who meets him now would know that he earned a PhD in finance and economics, taught at a…
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Poetry of caregiving
I've recently read poems written by caregivers from Oahu. I felt so connected and resonated so with these poems, I was inspired to write some of my own. Here is my first. THE KISS Morning begins, Sounds from his bedroom Fear... Nonsense words, Puzzlements, What happens next? How will this turn out? He reaches up, His hands…
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I can't do this!
I feel guilty to even vent for risk of sounding like a spoiled brat and feeling sorry for myself. My DH is 88 and I'm 68. He had a small stroke/brain injury in 2013. He now bears the diagnosis of VD and AD. At this time, I am his only caregiver. He is at the end of stage 5 with 1-2 characteristics of Stage 6. He doesn't…
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What State for Medicaid?
Many posters have reported difficulty obtaining State assistance, and niggardly support at best. Is there a source of information rating States in that regard?
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Let's go fishing
It might seem like a strange topic,but it's what I realized this morning. Peter in the Bible says I am going fishing. Jesus had died and life was so different,Peter had walked with Jesus,seen and done miraculous things, and now Jesus is gone. That's what the last four years have been for me,since I left my pastoral…
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Grief(5)
" . . . Nine years later, Freud sent a letter to Ludwig Binswanger in which he wrote: "My daughter who died would have been thirty-six today [...] We know that the acute sorrow we feel after such a loss will run its course, but also that we will remain inconsolable, and will never find a substitute. No matter what may come…
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My brother died
My brother who I was fighting for died yesterday in the hospital His heart just gave out. He had been declared fit for discharge to Rehab. At least I spared his widow the feeling that he had gotten less than full care.
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Feelings of loss
DH is in the early stages of this disease but I still feel the loss of the vibrant man I married. Even though he's in the room, I sometimes feel alone. Conversations need to be simple if he is to follow them. That's a real change since his education/work required a high level of complex reasoning. Now, we need to downsize…
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FYI(11)
Part One: https://www.dropbox.com/s/aq7ahd1hbd7exl1/CC-%20Michael%20Ellenbogen%20Part1%20_YT_%20Edited.mp4?dl=0 Part Two: https://www.dropbox.com/s/owytft87pk3qjek/CC-%20Michael%20Ellenbogen%20Part2%20_YT_%20Edited.mp4?dl=0
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identity theft...Didn't need this
I thought I was at the end of my rope taking care of my DH but no ...more problems! Got a notice from Paypal that someone ordered $ 660.00 worth and used my account. There was a number to call and long stort short, I gave them alot of personal info and ends up they are scammers so now my identity is stolen. I have spent…
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Clinical trials(1)
Hello: Thank you for being here and giving advice and support. I’m anticipating and preparing for an appointment at the VA on Thursday. I have so much to understand and decide. I’ll take a breath and go one step at a time. When I can I will share more. Thanks.
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Lady Texan(2)
Lady Texan, thinking about you and wondering if you and your DH are okay. You've got a lot on your plate so sending hugs, prayers, and good thoughts your way.
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Another contribution to the grief poetry
Thanks to Jeff86 and Crushed for their recent contributions of poetry capturing what we're all going through. Here's another, from the amazing Scottish folk singer Karine Polwart, called "The Fire Thief." I've given myself permission to cry me a river every time either this one or Karen Matheson's version of Robert Burns's…
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It's DH's birthday...and the sadness just never ends
DH is stage 7e and is in MC. He was 7b when accepted to Hospice in Sept. In one moment he fell (literally) to 7e in Nov. He's been bedbound since. He has to be hand fed. He doesn't smile. He doesn't talk. He's very rigid and seems to have some pain. Yes, he has pain meds. I took cupcakes and a candle for his 66th birthday…
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I wish this wasn't so true.
THE MIND REPLAYS, WHAT THE HEART CANNOT DELETE.
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Korsakoff's syndrome info?
I'm not even sure if that was spelled correctly, but you know what I mean. I've known a man for 60 years. We first met when we were neighbors, and we know each other's families. I haven't seen him for a while, but one of our daughters told me that he is having memory problems, and maybe problems with speech. He has abused…