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Throwing in the towel on this relationship
I lost my mother two weeks ago. I cannot grieve because it upsets my HWD and he becomes agitated and violent. My HWD’s mother is on comfort care now. I am devastated about the loss of these two women. I tell my HWD about his mother’s condition and he says “She has done some bad things. Everyone gets old and dies.” That is…
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What I've learned
I noticed I joined this group in Sep. 2020 in the height of Covid and it got me thinking about what I have learned being here for a year and a half. First and foremost I have to say the biggest thing I've learned and which has been the most helpful is to not argue with the person with the disease because what most everyone…
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My take on Memory Care
I have been touring memory care facilities. I have found a $5000 range in prices for the highest level of care. There is such a wide variety. The one I thought I would like was the cheapest. It was clean and utilitarian but had very few activities. It would be a good choice for someone in the very late stages. The shared…
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FYI regarding DMV
Just wanted to share experience with DMV in Virginia and suggest that you might want to check your state for their actual rules on sale of vehicle. In Virginia you can title your vehicle either with "and" or "or" when it is put in two names. Until today, the understanding was that if "and", both parties listed had to sign…
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Need suggestions for early stage for 62 yr old DH
My DH was diagnosed last November with early to moderate stage dementia. He was put on meds which I monitor with all of his other medications. I also do the finances & he does not drive. There seems to be some progression in some paranoia & hallucinations (?!). I need some guidance & suggestions in how to respond instead…
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Forgetting/Confusion with People & Places - Is this the beginning?
My DH (age 61) was diagnosed early onset to moderate AZ's last couple months. There has been confusion of places and time/distance since his diagnose. But this morning it was the very first time he was confused of who was in bed sleeping next to him. He woke up early morning and found my son in kitchen making coffee. He…
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Attention to the little things
Well Old Scooter done it again. Just when I think I've got this Care Giving down I find something else I have missed. My DW is able to shower herself thank goodness. She has her on body soap and I have mine. Today while I was showering, I knocked over her body soap and noticed it was empty, lord only knows for how long. I…
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Time for us before it is too late
I am trying to figure out how to take an extended leave so I can help my husband experience the retirement we had planned together. It is so difficult to go to work every day and not give him my undivided attention. We planned and saved very well for our retirement, but I am 10 years younger than him and we were splitting…
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Memory care placement, two months later
Dear friends, it has been two months since I placed my wife into memory care, a decision that you helped me make. Sorry I've neglected to report back, this is an overdue update. First, thank you all for supporting me in this decision. It is crystal clear that it was the right move for both my wife and myself. Initially I…
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So hard to watch
My dw has been a letter writer her whole life. She sent everybody a birthday card. Now she can't get pass the list of people she wants to send cards too. This morning she tried and tried to get one done, I tried to set it up without causing a fuss. I finally went outside to let her alone,when I came back in 20 minutes…
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18 days in memory care
Thought I'd update about our journey. DH is adjusting remarkably well to his new home. I'm so glad I got his meds figured out before he went in, because they've kept him calmish and staff really hasn't had many problems. When I go he's clean and content. I think he's recognized me about 1/2 the time, but he's always happy…
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the moment you hear the word dementia or cognitive impairment
A poster wrote " I would have had everything completed because she has had dementia for a number of years. The problem is she is so young half the doctors/psychiatrists/neurologists said she had dementia the other half said it was some type of serious stress" My wife was 58 when she failed the clock drawing test. Yes her…
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Drivers license(1)
Today I have to take the car keys and tell my DH that he can no longer drive. It’s hard on both of us.
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Walking on eggshells
My DH has been home with me since New Year’s. He had a psychotic episode in September and was sectioned and then placed in MC for 3 months… I couldn’t bring him home earlier because he was saying I was not his wife and he was married to someone else. He has been good until the past two weeks saying that he occasionally…
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Update on move
OhMyAchingHead. Good morning Sisters & Brothers! The movers are on the way to the house now. Because of the amount of boxes needed to pack collections and art we require a semi tractor trailer, An 18 wheeler!!! They will pack all day today and load truck tomorrow. If you are a praying person, please pray for me and my dad…
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Quilting brings calm
Thank you for potholder information, appreciate it. I have the insul Bright.
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When the sadness descends
I like to think that I’m pretty resilient as a caregiver, but there are times when the heartbreak defeats the resilience. DW slept 15 hours overnight and only awoke reluctantly. She has spent most of the day sleeping, sitting up. One manifestation of the long goodbye. Here’s the poem I wrote today, reflecting on where we…
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DH blaming me for his meds
DH diagnosis of mild dementia is on lot of meds. After I realized he was confused, i took over ordering his meds, putting in 2 weeks pillboxes and dispensing them morning and evening, i do not interfere with his Diabetis sugar checks or supplies. Today, he blamed me for taking over meds and said he had only 2 strips left.…
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A very long ending
In late December of 2019, my DW was rushed from her memory care facility to a local hospital as non-responsive. I tried to stop the process as it was pointless and, had she awakened, would have terrified her, but got there just as the ambulance pulled away. I followed it to the hospital where the ER physician looked at…
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Youtube goes live on March 22nd at 5pm ET
https://youtu.be/_jsR5Dv2LRA
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Poo corner
The last couple of days have been filled with every kind of mess a body can create. My husband caught some kind of bug, he stopped eating or ate so little I was worried he was going to get dehydrated. He threw up in his bed, the floor etc. He also pooed the bed, on the floor, in the kitchen etc. I did about eight loads of…
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Baby Eagle
A baby bald eagle has been hatched in Big Bear CA. There is a naming contest open until March 25th. Visit www.friendsofbigbearvalley.org to view the eaglet's Webcam or to suggest a name. Iris
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Early Onset Dementia Can't Get Help
My wife is in the final stage of dementia. She is only 60, turns 61 on April 22. So she is still too young to be on medicare. It is going to take us a while to get her on medicaid, because I have to sell 2 of our vehicles, put my work van under a company name instead of just using it under my name, and a few other things.…
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What can I do?
My DH is somewhere around stage 6 and we’re dealing with a repetitive behavior which I can’t seem to break. He goes through hours long periods at different times of the day where he constantly gets up to pee. Usually he just goes through the motions and doesn’t go. This happens every 2 to 5 minutes. He’s has other…
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Stressed by contractor issue, off topic
I need to decide how to move forward with completing an expensive project, but am needing a quick answer to a worrisome question. Am going to try to be concise with pertinent information that gives you enough of a picture: A contractor who did major work on our house wants the final check. We already paid for 90 percent of…
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Feeling regretful.
I’m with my dad. We are here to complete the move back to Louisiana. My sister took three days off from work and is staying at my house with our mom. Dad feels more comfortable with a relative being there with the caregivers. I am grateful that my sister is there with our mom. This is the first time I have been able to be…
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Please do this by end of day today
It is a 3-minute video and includes extremely moving words from the patient advocates – it is a great compilation that makes the case for CMS to provide coverage. We encourage everyone to share with their friends, families, and professional networks on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. This can help get the word…
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Bad day turned GOOD
Today started out to be one of my DW's bad day. Her hallucination and delusions was running wild this morning. I gave her morning medications (Quetiapine), which didn't even phase it, on top of that I had to get her ready for a doctors appointment. It was really a rough start plus her hallucinations are become more…
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Early respite thoughts
I didn't have to hide the mail today, or monitor any medications except my own. I went to the bank and didn't have to worry about what might be going on in my absence. I watched the news. I hired a yard guy, no discussion or micromanagement. I fed the cats (one can each and I didn't have to hide the food). I turned the…
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Just need to talk to my friends (167)
Hi, Thanks, Beth, I got Park's phone number so I'll call tomorrow. We may have gotten a catalog from them - I haven't been keeping them because I didn't think I'd need to order anything. Used to get them from so many companies when we had a big garden. Well, again, I'm going to ask all of you for your prayers for Sarah.…