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What is it like caring for a parent while married?
Hi, I posted in the caregiver forum, but I was advised to check out this sub forum and looking around I just have to ask. What is it like caring for a parent while married? I am already burnt out but trying to get placement into MC has been a handful. I do have them on waiting lists but time is running out. I was given a…
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nice gesture
My two sisters stayed with me for my brother's funeral. I have an American flag that flies day and night (it is lit and protected from rain). I just got a package and note from my sisters enclosing a new flag since mine was faded and battered. It also said "We also wish we could cheer you up about DW. Your spirit is…
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Grateful to all on this forum
My beloved DH, husband of 54 years, partner in so many happy memories and the love of my life, passed away last night after his battle with Lewy Body. I am not good at writing and participating in these types of things, but I read every day the experiences and tips that so many of you so generously and eloquently shared.…
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drooling(1)
My DH has been doing this since he had his stroke . Not all the time just some days. I have also notice before the stroke one side of his face would swell up and be a little red. I told the Dr. about this and was told nothing to worry about. They said it was his salivary glands that get block. I'm sure he is maybe having…
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Confusion
My husband is very confused today. He thinks he is at work and needs to install circuits ( retired 21 years ago) and can’t understand why I can’t help him. I tried to redirect then when that didn’t work we took a drive. Still no improvement so we stopped at McDonalds and I got him a milkshake. I know the confusion will…
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Doggie Dementia
About a year ago I posted about my dog seeming to mimic my husband in many of his symptoms. He was shadowing my husband , who was shadowing me. The dog became completely incontinent and also had much anxiety and pacing. The vet today confirmed the Dementia diagnosis . He wanted to put him on Trazadone but had no advice…
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A win
Today our psw or personal support worker came at 8:00 am. She was lovely and Jon, my husband loved chatting with her. It was interesting to see them interacting together, she was no nonsense but compassionate. He is not up to her helping in the shower yet, today was our first day together. It was interesting seeing how my…
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White House: Changes In Quality Of Care In NHs
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/02/28/fact-sheet-protecting-seniors-and-people-with-disabilities-by-improving-safety-and-quality-of-care-in-the-nations-nursing-homes/?emci=d8173310-de98-ec11-a507-281878b83d8a&emdi=6a962eed-e098-ec11-a507-281878b83d8a&ceid=4164101
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Ward of the State?
Does anyone have any knowledge/experience/facts about making a loved one a ward of the state? Any information/facts you can share will be greatly appreciated. I’m starting this thread in an attempt to help a new member. Thank you. Sincerely, abc123
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More thresholds crossed
Started the day by blocking all 24/7 news channels. Sent my first inquiry to the best MC facility in our area, got a prompt reply and an invitation to their zoom support group next Monday (iffy because of my slow internet). Sending in the fee for the wait list in the morning. The catch: they want to come out to do an…
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It was a light at the end of that tunnel
The memory care called Monday afternoon and said he could move in the next day. So yesterday afternoon DH moved to his new home.It was a blur of moving stuff in, filling out paperwork with admissions, talking with the nurse, talking with therapy, talking with a few other people - I don't even remember their positions or…
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Are plate guards worth considering?
Do they actually work well, and if so, where do you get them? Tired of food on the floor and on her clothes. EDIT: I should have also asked if anyone used the "scoop dishes" (if that's what they're called)?
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Best laid plans(1)
My usually sunny husband told me in no uncertain terms that he was not taking a shower and not going to the day program that he was to start today. I tried to explain to him he needed to shower because he stunk to high heaven. He flatly refused.Had to phone the day care and explain that he was not coming. He told me he was…
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Just need to talk to my friends (166)
Hi, Decided to start this now so Sara's post in the morning would be on the new one. Well, I fell again. Darn it. I had leaned a big ironing board and a small one against the shelves in the pantry this morning to get them out of the way. Decided to make a chocolate wacky cake so had to go in there to get the ingredients.…
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Address advice please.
Dad sold his house and closed yesterday. They are staying at my house until Dad buys another. What's best for him, a change of address to my house OR forward to my house? Thank you!
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Different losses
The last few days have been crazy with different losses. For the last 2 days dw asked if we were married? What was the date? Is there a paper that shows that? She mentioned she had seen that paper but wasn't sure if we were married. Today she's got an eye evaluation for for a possible cataract surgery. She loves to doodle…
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Few questions ??
I'm new to this group and am trying to find out a few things. My DH was diagnosed last year with VD. after a stroke. I think he has had it a couple of years before. Aricept is the only drug they added to his medications. Should he be on any other drug that may help with memory and anxiety ?He gets really mad sometimes for…
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Attention extex.
Dear extex, I just read a post you made saying your DW is mid/late stage 7. So is my mom. I hope you don’t mind if I ask questions about your DW. I’m having a hard time emotionally these days. It’s soul crushing watching my mother in this stage. She looks at me as if to say, please get me out of here, meaning that I feel…
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VA catastrophically disabled
Thought I would update: After a month of phone calls (sometimes going in loops of people who didn't know and ending up back with the 1st person) and finally researching and figuring out myself how to get this done, today Jim was reclassified as catastrophically disabled at the VA. In the end it was very simple. I had a…
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A beautiful song about Alzheimer's.
My cousin, Gary Brown, wrote a beautiful, haunting song about his experience watching as his mother, Valda Brown, declined with Alzheimer's and ultimately passed away. As I my mother lives with Alzheimer's, the song comes to my mind often. It can be found on youtube.com at this link:…
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The light at the end of the tunnel might or might not be a train
Day 1. Home from the hospital after a 3 night stay for seizures. Day 2. I’m calling memory care homes again looking for placement. The memory care I’ve worked things out with hasn’t been accepting new residents for 4 months. I keep asking, they keep saying “maybe next month.” They have no idea when they’ll finally start…
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caregiver 101.1
More things I have learned that were not obvious. Food: My gal started getting really picky about food. She used to like fish, then she didn't. Lasagne was a favorite, then it was not. Meat of any kind was suddenly not good. I was really at my wits end trying to find food she would eat, and then one day I got it. It had…
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Reason for the terrible awful no good very bad day
Well I managed to get outside for an hour this afternoon for an hour of leaf raking since she objects to my hiring anyone. Tomorrow is my partners 81st birthday, and our one couple of friends who still visit are coming for lunch. When I came in from outside about four o'clock, she had all three of our portable phones on…
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Picture book
My husband can still find most words but it gets worse each month. Has anyone made a picture book? I was thinking of a book with one picture per page in plastic sheets of the most common things they might want or need. It might relieve some of the frustration they feel when they can’t find the right word. It could be…
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Crushed, please help me.
My parents are moving from Texas back to Louisiana. Dad has DPOA over mom. His real estate agent just called him and said if my mom happens to die before the house is sold he will have to go through the probate process, which will be long and stressful. Blah blah blah. It has always been my understanding that the reason…
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If you use a Roku....
It might be a good idea to keep current with your debit charge activities from your bank. A few days ago I found a charge for $9.99 from Roku for a new ongoing WarnerMedia subscription. We don't subscribe through Roku for anything, and I have a pin that must be used to make purchases. The debit card on file with Roku is no…
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How long can he sleep?
My husband is sleeping longer and longer. I know this is part of the disease but it is now 4:15 pm and he refuses to get out of bed. He is sleeping on and off, refuses to eat, and becomes belligerent when I try to have him get up, dressed, and have something to eat. I’ve read that it’s OK to let him sleep but it is…
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French
Hello French; I am thinking of you and so hoping that your trip to Tunisia went well. J.
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Second time around + May/December jinx?
I am posting this excerpt from my reply on another thread. This is something I realized after reading occasional comments through the years, suggesting some people should have planned better for their golden years, yet many of us actually did plan well and work hard, but divorces and other factors cost us dearly in…
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Would he be happier?
My husband is progressing on his journey. He can walk 4 miles but not alone as he gets lost. He can dress himself but would wear the same clothes forever and gets mad when I suggest changing. I sneak them out when he is asleep. His memory is 10 seconds and then has to be reminded about what was said or asked. He has to be…