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Elder Care lawyers(2)
Wow did I have an interesting experience finding an elder care lawyer. The first one I met with was highly recommended by members of a support group. She absolutely said I must get an Irrevocable trust and wanted $5000 plus $1000 a year. I asked her about an annuity and she said she’d never heard of that. I met with…
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What if you don't love your spouse with dementia?
This is a very hard question to pose, but one which I struggle with every day. My DH and I are a second marriage, and it has been a rocky one. More than once I wanted to walk away, but after being divorced once and starting over, that idea became harder to imagine, especially as I got older. My DH is very controlling, and…
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Sharing a win
I have not been on the site regularly in a while. Things have gotten difficult. DH is fast approaching stage 7. Then my 92 year old father lost his ability to walk and is currently under hospice care. My brother is living with him 24/7 and I go up to give him a break every couple of weeks. They live two hours away. I was…
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Doctor has prescribed Trazadone
My DH been diagnosed with MCI by his PCP. We are trying to get in to see a neurologist, but our appointment was cancelled due to COVID. The doctor is only doing telehealth visits with existing patients right now. We see the PCP November 2, and I plan to ask for a referral to a different neurologist. In the meantime, DH has…
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My brain is tired
DH woke up last Thursday morning quite ill with diarrhea and vomiting. Each time left him weak and shaky. I helped him back to bed and tried to calm him and reassure him but each time it happened, he said he needed to be in the hospital. I thought he had stomach flu like I had a few months ago. Then I happened to pat his…
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great day yesterday
Our anniversary was yesterday. He remembered. We live in MA so we decided to take the train into Boston to go to our favorite restaurant in the North End. Haven't been there in years. I was nervous to take the train and walk from station to the restaurant. That went fairly well but the walk back was a little more…
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Our CELA experience
I’m telling about my wife’s and my experience with a CELA to hopefully lessen the fears others may have concerning meeting with such an attorney. Several years ago my wife and I visited with an attorney to have our wills, POA’s, etc made up.After reading various comments on this forum about having a CELA involved, we…
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Josey
Josey, how are you ? I haven’t seen a post from you for at least 2 weeks I think. I know you are back to teaching and also you are about to place your husband. I just wanted to know if everything was ok for you.
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Losing the ability to communicate
I don't remember seeing any posts where people are having the same problem we are. I know we have some new members who may not know the story behind my wife, so I'll tell it once again. She is a retired registered nurse, who worked in different places during her career. The place she loved the most was where she worked the…
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Home modification- financial help
Would Alzheimer’s, Medicare or any organization help financially? I am planning to have the bath tub to walk in shower conversion and grab bars put in the bathroom for DH who has Dementia.
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Filing an Article 81 Guardianship
Anyone have experience filing an Article 81 Guardianship on behalf of their spouse? My husband, who has Lewy Body Dementia, and I are fighting financial abuse by my POA stepson but now a lawyer for my husband claims my DH suddenly wants a divorce from me! (again). My husband tells ME he does NOT want a divorce and the…
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Someone asked me to give them information that would help caregivers for an article. So, I wrote the
I will give you a bunch of bullet points and if interested we can speak about the ones you would like to know about so you can write the article. You must be come a detective if you want to become a good caregiver. Need to learn to think outside the box Expect the worse of thinks and if you are surprised you did not…
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Update on respite
Hi all, Well, my wife has been in respite care for over a week, I’ve had my hernia surgery, and we both are doing very well. It was the right thing to place her a week in advance, as it allowed me time to get everything in line for the procedure, and to get several nights of good sleep. If anyone else needs to place an LO…
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It has been a while
I am happy to see some familiar posters and also a lot of new posters. It has been 3.5 years since my first post on this board; then I took time off to allow myself to grief and to prioritize things we have to do to prepare us for the near future. One of the big change was an across the country move I decided to bring us…
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I'm new - need acvice
I feel a bit self-conscious writing for advice when so many of you have issues that are more serious than mine, but I'm seeking help. My husband is still pretty functional, but is easily confused, has little sense of time, has very little short-term memory, and loses the thread of what he's doing easily. He comes to me…
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SSA Representative Payee
Is there any value in going through the process of becoming your married spouse’s “representative payee” for Social Security? It involves an 8n-person visit and they determine who it should be. My husband has been on private long-term disability (he worked for a state and did not pay into Social Security for most of his…
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Is this Alzheimers?
Hello, I’m reaching out for help, not sure if I am in the right place or not but I am hoping someone can answer my question. My husband is almost 73. There are several things that have me observing what is going on with him and today one of those things happened again. It might seem trivial but it’s just another thing in…
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What day is it? What day is it? A tip.
"What's today?" This was the most common question my DW (with COPD and severe short term memory loss) repeated throughout the day until I bought two of these: Amazon.com: Robin, 2020 Version, Digital Day Clock 2.0 with Custom Alarms and Calendar Reminders, Alarm Clock with Extra Large Display Helps with Memory Loss,…
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What do I do
My wife of 20 years- the love of my life- has mild to moderate Alzheimer’s. She started just getting lost a little in the house and now is just slightly showing a once a week paranoia about loosing things. It’s been 2 years since diagnosed. Don’t get me wrong please but I need someone to talk to- this is not what I thought…
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support in finding hospice for husband with dementia
My husband's doctors have said I need to plan for the future and locate hospice, So far I have gotten a list of hospices in my area from ALZ Association and downloaded their document on choosing an in-home care provider. I have no one to discuss this with or get local references from someone who has used any of the…
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Wife wanders the house at night, wakes me up constantly
Hello all, I haven't checked in here for a while. Medications have pretty well solved my wife's worst behavior problems (thinking I am a stranger, calling neighbors or the sheriffs to kick me out of "her" house, etc.). So for many months I've only had to deal with the annoyance of being asked the same question over and…
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Betsy Wetsy
I've been reminded that DW does not intend to drive me nuts, but nevertheless she's doing a thorough job of it. For a long time she's been putting things away in unlikely places, and now she's doing it with urine. She seems to have forgotten her potty training, and now will pee anywhere, especially in her pants or in bed.…
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DH says he has no memory problem / memory enhancer
How do I handle this issue? Neurologist diagnosed mild Dementia after 3 hours test. DH forgets Something said 10 minutes ago. Repeats same thing- doctors appointments- 5-6 times. Asked him to Read and write to improve, he says he doesn’t have a memory problem? How should I respond? 2nd question/ Has any one tried…
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Have You Ever Want To Go On A Date?
I have been completely faithful to DW since our first date over 36 years ago but lately I find myself having a yearning just to go on a date. I have no idea who I would date or even how I would find the time, all I know is these feelings are very real. It would be so nice to go out with someone who could order their own…
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Stages of Grief
I talked to my PCP the other day about MY good days and bad days caring for DH. Some days I don't mind being the caregiver and other days I feel anger, frustration and sadness. I blamed myself and thought it was exhaustion or intolerance on my part. She told me something that I have not heard before and has helped me to…
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Random peeing in hallway
My spouse who’s in memory care for one month has begun to arbitrarily pee in corners of the building. He’s on an every hour bathroom schedule but is still finding a corner in the hallway to pee. He will do this by his bed too. I’ve asked that there be a light on at night so he can find his way but don’t understand this new…
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Decision about TennCare Choices Program
Good Morning! I am needing some advice... I don't writing in the forum much, but I do read all of your great comments and advice you help everyone with. This is the situation. Everything is looking good for us to receive this program... My questions, they are wanting us spend down about 23,000... I am worried that…
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I know he is not getting the best care
Kaiser simply gave him some pills and referred me to a social worker. Shouldn't he be getting PET scans and have a Neurologist? What should I be advocating for? I feel like we are falling in the cracks.
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I struggle
My husband has EO. I struggle with knowing the markers of progression. When do I take away the car keys? When do I bring someone in for part time care? I struggle with wanting to put my energy into him and his care, but needing to work full time. I struggle with Medical Insurance treating Dementia as something other than a…
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Apologizing and other things
I find myself wondering if I should apologize to my husband. Taking a minute to apologize for something that happened earlier in the day becomes reminding him of something that upset him. What do you folks think? Along those same lines. This last Friday was the anniversary of the death of my husband's daughter at age 17. I…