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talking to my spouse about going into a community
My name is John and my wife has been diagnosed for almost 6 years. In the last 6 months the dimentia has really excellerated, I feel she is going into the final stages. As I read more, I realize I should have had a conversation long ago with her about entry a memory care facility, not sure how to start now. I have just…
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I moved my husband into Memory Care...
And I naively thought that would be the hardest part! I moved him 8 months ago. My biggest challenge is letting go of the dozen little things about the facility that drive me crazy. I see that generally he is doing fine. Shouldn't that be enough? I think when I poke my nose into the details of how the place operates it's…
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Is there such a thing as New Year's Resolutions when you're just marking time? Just musing.
It's natural to think about planning ahead, and I really would like to set some goals for this year; but at the same time I feel like I am just marking time until the next downturn or crisis. Covid is very bad where we are, and there is little public motivation to get the pandemic behind us; so it just keeps marching on.…
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Another sensitive subject
My husband was diagnosed with AD in 2015. In addition to the loss of all short term memory, repetition of comments or questions, and inability to follow any program or movie on TV, are the rages. The sundowning can become so vicious, hurtful, and out-of-control that it’s scary. It also enrages me to be treated so badly,…
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Oxidatives stress, ApoE4, and Alzheimer's disease
This is a fascinating study coming out of the Baylor College of Medicine. The study notes the connection between oxidative stress and amyloid beta. I will go a step further: risk factors operating through the same pathways lead to oxidative stress and the production of amyloid beta. Amyloid beta can in turn add to that…
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OMG! DH had total meltdown
Last night my husband went berserk. His aide took our dog out. My husband then went to take her out. I stupidly mentioned that the aide had taken care of it. He went wild, calling his aide the most awful things, cursing, yelling, screaming while I begged him to stop. That only led to his attacking me. Thank God he didn’t…
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Just need to talk to my friends (161)
Hi, Thought it was time - it's been 15 days since #160. Time is really flying - almost the middle of December already. Before we know it, it will be Springtime again. I'm for that. Ron, glad things are going pretty well for you and Lou. So nice of you to take care of your sister's little dog while she was gone. Bet you'll…
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I am afraid.
I am afraid for my DWs future and of my own. Her dementia is accelerating and I am not "prepared" emotionally or with "what to do next" information. The Medicaid website is obtuse and from sample qualification questions, we are not eligible for assistance, even though both of us are on social security. She is my DW and…
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How to Receive Financial Assistance
Good Morning and Merry Christmas. I retired to caregive DW and am unprepared financially for what is ahead. With DW suffering from dementia, I am concerned what skilled and compassionate care may cost down the road. Both of us receive social security, own our home and have limited investments. I don't want to lose…
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The power of music
Well, the Christmas spirit descended gently on our home tonight as we watched Bocelli and his children sing at the White House, followed by a wonderful American Experience on the life of Marian Anderson. A blessed moment of peace. I hope the same happens one way or another for all on this forum. Just wanted to share it.
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DH asked: “Do I have Alzheimer’s?”
DH saw me reading Chicken Soup for the Soul LivingWith Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias. He was watching TV and I didn’t think he was paying any attention to me. And then he asked, “Do I have Alzheimer’s?” I replied, “Your doctor thinks so.” He then asked, “What do you think?” I replied “I don’t know, what do you think?”…
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A feel good story
https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/25/us/nurse-rescue-dog-patient-hospital-rome-new-york/index.html
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emergency watches
anyone familiar with the emergency function on the Apple Watch or others?
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Merry Christmas(4)
It’s Christmas again; the end of another year. I know this year has been rough for a lot of us on this forum, me included. Even so, I still want to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and wish God‘s best blessings on each of you as you continue caring for your loved one. Brenda
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Should I tell him someone died?
Is it ever safe to tell someone with advanced dementia someone has died? We lost my youngest brother (58 years old) last week and I'm devastated. My husband has known him since he was 9. We were close. Do I tell him, who understands little, my brother has died? Is it ever OK to do that? Thank you.
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Planning for day care
My dh is still doing ok driving and going to coffeeshops, but I can see the time coming that he won't be able to. I try to make plans four months out, during my breaks so during the semester I have fairly smooth sailing. That said, I'm thinking perhaps I should start him at the day care one day a week now so when he needs…
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It could be worse, I suppose
That's what I thought today, as I turned on the hot water in the sink. For a just a moment I thought my hot water heater had gone out, "The water's not hot yet!" and then hot water came pouring out of the faucet. And, in the midst of what I feel is a life of misery, I had a moment of joy. My hot water heater isn't broken.…
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Christmas 1972-2021
This is my fourth Christmas since DW had any idea who I am. Forty nine years ago on Christmas I asked the most wonderful girl in the world if she would marry me. She looked horrified and then said yes. It was an amazingly wonderful ride together but a horrible disease has taken her away. I have the most wonderful memories.…
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Blames me for moving his stuff
He blames me for moving things around in his shop or on his desk, not remembering that he had moved the items himself. He gets so upset thinking that I would meddle with his things without talking to him about it first, that he threatens to move into his RV on his vacant property (that has no utilities).Denying I moved his…
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guidance needed please - DH's adult son is in the hospital
DH's adult son is in the hospital ICU 90 miles away. He has been intubated. He was in critical condition and is now in stable condition. DH is not yet aware of this. Because DH can no longer use the phone, I monitor his phone and noticed 2 calls in the middle of the night. When I Returned the calls this morning, I reached…
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Leaving in 4 days
Today after the adult daycare, we are going to my parents for Christmas. We will be back on Saturday evening for our flight on Sunday morning. The suitcases are ready, the house is clean. Yesterday he was also at the adult daycare and I really felt on holidays even if I spend most of my day preparing his suitcase and…
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causes of Alzheimers
My wife has recently died of Alzheimers. Over the past 3 years I have read a ton of information on Alzheimers and time and time again I have read that if you have certain things like high blood pressure or diabetes or you don't exercise or you smoke or drink or you don't socialize or you don't have an extended education…
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Adult diaper question
Hi all, this fall I read about adult diapers that absorbed better than most. For the life of me, I can't find the post where it was discussed. My DH is still continent, so it isn't a question for him, but for my 102 year old mother. She does not have Alzheimers and still lives on the farm alone, where I grew up. I live 600…
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Update- Tasks and House Rules for home care aide
Belated thank you for the great tips you shared in response to my OP. https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147559192 I will keep these in my back pocket along with the official task list of approved services provided by the agency (they are paid by the Agency on Aging, or Age Options program that‘s…
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Trying to remember to be normal
I hired some part-time farm help. As part of the discussion laying out expectations and duties, I had to explain to the person that I lived as a full-time caregiver to a person with dementia, and as such I have developed some habits that need explaining. "If I tell you water goes in the bucket, or don't let the horse out,…
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Beachfan
Beachfan, Given our parallel journeys I just wanted to check in and see how you doing with the holidays approaching and how things are going for your husband. From my end, DW continues to do well living at the MC and I am starting to adjust to a new routine. I initially thought I would not decorate the house for Christmas…
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Christmas gathering?
We had everything planned to have the whole family over for Christmas, because this might be the last year my wife will be able to enjoy it with family. I didn't have to do any of the planning because one of our daughters was taking care of that. But now comes that damned Omicron! Our family has some that don't believe in…
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Depressing Realization
We are still early on in this horrific journey. Last night I realized that no day in the future will be better, today is as good as it gets and it’s all downhill from here. I’m terrified of the coming years. I’m already depressed and can’t imagine that this feeling will last for years and years and years.
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Grieving stages on this rough road
I don’t mean to complain but I feel like I’m alone in our home, but he’s here with me. No longer am I able to have a meaningful conversation with him as he seems to gloss over my comments and either goes back to watching TV or makes a comment that is completely irrelevant . We used to discuss all topics but now if I don’t…
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best-laid plans
After listening to the news all morning (probably a mistake in itself) my partner just panicked today about having anyone over this week. So: change of venue to my daughter's house, and we'll just leave her home. I don't know how else to handle it; I think even the thought of six adults and tow children is overwhelming to…