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New song/video for Alzheimer’s just FYI
For those who like the music, singer Hayes Carll (Americana singer/songwriter) has a new acoustic song, and music video, on YouTube, called “Help Me Remember.” He has written elsewhere about his family experience with Alzheimer’s—especially his grandfather who was close—and the song is about that, and video talks about…
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New here(15)
Hi, I don’t know if I’m doing this correctly, but I wanted to post for the first time. I’m new here My spouse appears to have some sort of dementia hitting rapidly . Hard for doctors to determine whether alz or ppa ( primary progressive aphasia ). Whatever it is, I really thought it was Covid stress. Now here I am reaching…
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Ready to place but then he seems normal
Yesterday morning at 6:15 am, despite all of my safeguards, my DH “escaped.” I had been asleep, but my cameras alerted my cell phone that he was in the driveway. Quite often he does go out the front door, tries to get in my car, and when he can’t, comes right back in the house. I keep my eye on him the whole time on my…
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Concerned LO
I know that I am not the spouse of someone with dementia, however, I am concerned about my dad. My mom was diagnosed in April 2018 and since then my dad has been distant and destructive. I thought that he was dealing with things in his own way, but the longer it goes the worse it gets. He has friends, but doesn't…
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In-home caregiver fail
Today was our first attempt at having professional in-home care. The plan was that our person would come out, we would get comfortable with each other, and I would leave and go to work for 4 hours. We had a meet and greet last week, so this was not a total stranger, and the service had done a good workup on my spouse. We…
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She Refuses to Take Medicine
I searched using the term "refuses to take medicine" and found almost 400 posts. I'm sure in other posts there are many comments similar to what I'm experiencing with my wife. Rather than go through each one I'm going to use this space to rant. In two years every prescription med she has been prescribed she goes out of her…
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Just need to talk to my friends (156)
Hi, Thought it was time for 156 since we're having a hard time getting on the thread. I had this whole paragraph typed and it disappeared - touched the wrong key, I guess. Anyway, we have a new baby!! She was born sometime during the night, just south of the house in the garden. I looked that direction when I went out on…
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Basic Hygiene
What do you do when your spouse refuses to shower, bathe, or change clothes? I was managing the every other day, then the every few days, but I am not dealing with the total refusal to take care of basic hygiene. We are also refusing to wear pants these days. A few days ago we had a dental appointment, and I was insistent…
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Treatment of illiquid assets under Medicaid?
My DW is probably a couple of years out from our needing to apply for Medicaid but it is certainly in the cards. I have been working with an Elder Law Attorney and at our relatively young age (DW and I are both 68 years old) it seem the best course is a Medicaid approved annuity and me taking advantage of the Community…
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Sending Wife to Respite Care for My Back Surgery
I desperately need back surgery to relieve extreme nerve pain in my legs. After 8 months of treatments this is what I'm down to. Surgery is scheduled for Oct 6th. Doctor said I'll be able to care for myself but not DW. My Son and I went back and forth between in home care for DW or Respite Care in a facility. There were to…
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Trying to cope and have patience
I am new to this site but having been dealing with my husband's changes for over 15 years. He was finally diagnosed with FTD, vascular dementia and Alzheimer's about 2 years ago. The last year we have seen much greater changes and it seems daily has a new look. He is still driving and pretty much handles his daily needs -…
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AD - Myoclonus connection
Hi All, I asked about Myoclonus in the early AD message board but didn't get more than one response, so I apologize for also asking here. My mother-in-law is late stage AD and shows prominent and frequent right foot Myoclonus episodes. My wife shows very mild right foot Myoclonus (triggered by emotional moments) and I am…
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Putting things in perspective
I was telling a friend about all the normal couples I saw this weekend having fun and about friends who just got back from three days at the beach and had a great time. She reminded me how my friend’s daughter died two years ago and that she is sad everyday. I will get past my husband’s dementia and eventual death but I…
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Perspectives
Recently,my DW’s best friend—I’ll call her Rose—came from the left coast for a week’s visit. Rose and DW have been close friends since they were 12; she was my DW’s first friend when DW came to the US. Because of Covid, Rose hadn’t seen DW in almost 2 years. Over the many years, Rose and I have also become good friends.…
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Help to find missing objects
I am trying to figure out how to help my mother who is very often trying to locate things my father has misplaced. My dad's cane is one of the objects which often goes missing. I am wondering how to attach an air tag or other such locator device to a cane which has no wrist strap or other obvious area to attach to. My…
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Memory Care is not Skilled Nursing
In this state (CT), and maybe everywhere (?) memory care facilities are considered assisted living. This was driven home to me in the last few days at the MCF. My wife has been very restless and walked herself to exhaustion. The staff worried she would fall, but could not devote a caregiver 100%. At the LPN’s request I…
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Air Tags
This may have been covered before but I wanted to let you know there is something out there that can make your life so much earier. When I switched phone companies for my mobile phone they were offering a free iphone with the switch. Since mine was nearly 9 years old I took them up on their offer. I noticed an app that…
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The Spork(1)
DH is a good eater but struggles to finish everything on his plate/bowl. I use a flexible plastic plate guard to keep him from shoving food over the side of the plate and I sit catty-corner to him, on his left, and move the food into position throughout his meal. He does as well as can be expected, with perception…
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This is for Josey and others
If you have a family member(s) that don't agree with your decisions......... Family disagree with your caregiver decisions?
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Trying to have a future
I hope to go to Germany next week. I am fully vaccinated and boostered. I did my undergraduate thesis on the Nuremburg war crimes trials and and Ive lectured in Germany many times since 1980. I have lots of friends there. I am trying to build a future All care taking for DW is in order. Family and therapists are all…
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VENT: I did some stupid things & there were consequences
It has been a difficult day. The caregiving has been mostly par for the course. But I made some stupid choices and mistakes and created a real tar-baby. I loaded the dishwasher with the fork tines facing up. When I was unloading the dishwasher, I poked my thumb to the point that it bled A LOT! Later, I was tired and hungry…
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“What are you doing here”?
That’s how my wife greeted me today at the MCF. The first full coherent sentence in months! I answered that I was there to visit her, and she took my hand and we walked round and round and up wings and out doors and back in for an hour and a half. This is her daily activity, several hours per day. The staff has been having…
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New about respite stay in Tunisia
Last Sunday, I left Tunisia. It was very easy as my partner preferred to stay there. He continues saying « everything is nice here, and how people are nice! » The caregiver send me pictures and small movie every day. I call them every evening. A typical day is - 7:30-9:00 getting up, shower, shaving… and cleaning the room…
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Give away some assets, and still qualify for medicaid?
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/better-than-no-loaf-medicaid-planning-using-half-a-loaf-strategies-18522?
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Cherjer
I'm posting this here because you might not see the answer on the topic where you posted. Cherjer wrote: I am wondering how one gets in touch privately with a person on this site. Let's say you wanted to have a private conversation with me. You will see that I made this post because my name (Ed1937) will appear next to the…
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TMI but need help (genital issue)
Posting in 2 forums to get as much help as possible. https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?tid=2147558387&g=posts&t=2147558387
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bed sore or pressure sore
DW just got her very first pressure injury It was from sitting in a regular chair with an inadequately padded horizontal wooden beam under her leg. we need to keep it from becoming a pressure ulcer Pressure injuries start as red, blue, or purplish patches on the body. They don't blanch, or turn white, when touched and they…
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Birthday surprise
Just for fun: yesterday was my birthday. I turned 75! My son stopped by and installed a set of toilet safety rails for DH. I said “I’m not sure how well these will work. Sometimes DH tries to sit sideways on the toilet; he might not figure it out.” My smart a** kid said, “Well, in that case, Happy Birthday to you.…
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and smetimes we just need to remember
It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore. "Hello Eeyore," said Pooh. "Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet," said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice. "We just…
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Buy the Bright Shiny Thing or face the verbal assaults?
DH and I have been through this several times. I used to give in, but now i'm paying for home aide, and stock market drop has made me feel less "rich." He has no ability to use the things he wants, and they're not cheap. But now I face his wrath when I give all kinds of logical reasons and options. I've been advised to…