-
Topic of GUILT
Much has been written on this site about GUILT. Today I read this by Carolyn Hax in the Washington Post. “Guilt is a transaction. People can schedule all the guilt trips for you they please, but you’re the one who chooses whether to go on them. You can also choose not to, always—not to feel guilt, not to agree you have…
-
Repetitive behaviors
My DH ( 91 moderate dementia ) opens and shuts file drawers at least 20 x a day. I ask him what he is looking for and he says he is "just looking". He takes out his discharge papers from the army when he was 23 yrs old and looks at them. He will look in the bedside table at his Electrical engineering Bachelor of Science…
-
Wanted a fix
When DH is sitting, he crosses his feet and rubs them back and forth. He can’t wear shoes with laces as the movement unties them. He has been wearing Velcro fastening shoes and they work but he wears out the top of the shoes eventually destroying the Velcro. He is also a restless sleeper. Evaluation by the motion…
-
New Glasses
DH lost his glasses about a month ago. Since then, he has been asking about them and wanting his glasses. I gave him a pair of magnifying reading glasses to use for close vision but he kept forgetting to put them on and usually I had to get them and tell him to use them. I finally made him an appointment with the eye…
-
Poop on the stoop
This is both a VENT and a problem solving post. We have a morning routine here. I help DH to the toilet. After I get hubby dressed and get his coffee and turn on the TV, I feed the cat, treat the dog and take a few minutes for myself with my coffee on the back porch. This allows me to take some deep breathes, watch the…
-
Connecting with the Social Worker
I followed up with the HHA this morning because I still had not heard from the medical social worker. The MSW called me about an hour later. The phone call was both a relief and a disappointment. A disappointment because when it came to identifying resources, I had already identified and contacted all but one of the…
-
It was the end
My last post was how do you know it's the end as I wondered about putting my husband on hospice. I did start hospice on Sunday the 4th and he passed on Thursday the 8th. It was incredibly rapid. Even the aides at the facility were shocked. One came in to see him Tuesday morning. She had been off for three days and when she…
-
How honest is right
My DW is fine most of the time. When she "goes south" meaning she starts to make up new facts for things she does not seem to remember, it gets tough. Then, in another moment, she will ask me "I'm getting better, don't you think?" I've been honest with her about going in and out and the out part seems to be a little more…
-
A poem about our mornings
In the wee hours of morning, without any warning, The cat begins his loud meow, meaning he wants to eat now. The cat wakens my man, who stumbles to the can, In order to pee, without help from me. I pop out of bed, sleep still in my head. If I don’t act quickly, the floor will be sticky. When it comes to his aim, DH isn't…
-
First Time at Day Care
Today was the first time that DH went to day care. He went believing he is a volunteer. He didn’t want me to go in with him, just wanted to be dropped off. Unfortunately, the director wanted me to go over protocol if COVID problems resurfaced so we went in together. They have an electronic sign in system that checks your…
-
recognition does it come and go? Told me my eyes are a different color
Ok: No dx yet, but things have been weird for a few years and I've gone from wondering what's wrong with DH to thinking it's ALZ or dementia. (I'm keeping it short). Had discussions with family dr about various things. I have a couple of questions: we read about ALZ patients not recognizing family members. DH did not…
-
Covid excess deaths
A very distinguished team has published a new estimate of total covid pandemic deaths in the USA Estimating Under-recognized COVID-19 Deaths, United States, March 2020-May 2021 using an Excess Mortality Modelling Approach https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanam/article/PIIS2667-193X(21)00011-9/fulltext# We estimated that…
-
Forgetting Us
The latest painful thing is that my partner has lost our personal history, and keeps asking questions about it, because she wants to know: How did we meet? Were you married before? There was a long history with my ex (because of young children) whom she hated, and now she doesn't remember any of it. And there's much of it…
-
DH memory problems getting worse
I think DH is in early stages of AD He won’t take any steps to make it better- 3 things I learnt help AD- Reading out loud, writing a journal and doing short sums. He won’t do any of them. I bought him a easy jigsaw puzzle, he won’t do it. He is 83, all he wants to do is watch Tv, he does go for daily I know his memory is…
-
I'm not sure if this is the proper way to handle it
Part of the time my wife refuses to change her incontinence underwear before going to bed. Last night she absolutely refused, and if she does not change before bed, it's guaranteed that I'll be washing bedding in the morning. And I will probably also be wet. I told her it was not optional, she had to change. Nope! So it…
-
separation anxiety
I finally hired a home health aid for 2 three hour days thinking that i would be able to attend my doctor appointments but it didn't work. I did a trial run and went to the market while i was there i received a call that DH was very anxious and looking for me. Any help on how to deal with this issue will greatly be…
-
Safeguard your sanctuary
Because he snores, jerks, and rolls over on to me, I sleep in a windowless room in the basement. In trying to engage my husband in a task I asked him to help me clean the light fixtures in the basement (holding the screws, wiping the inside of the fixtures, etc.) Now he states that he never knew about this room and insists…
-
DNR(1)
My husband has Lewy Body dementia, probably stage 6, 76 years old. Getting increasingly weaker and needs wheeled walker, almost no short term memory , cannot follow movie/TV, incontinent (including occasional bowel). Still eats well and can feed himself. I am considering ending all doctor visits except for neurologist.…
-
oh oopsie! COVID deaths
No formatter is installed for the format not-found
-
“Don’t Put Me Away”
That’s what my DW said yesterday, completely out of the blue. With a lot of folks here lately confronting potential placement, the issue has been much on my mind. But not in my speech! I’ve never mentioned this possibility to her. DW followed up that imperative with, “I don’t want to be put away.” I recall a Teepa Snow…
-
Missing from dementia treatment and care
I am not a spouse or partner of a LO with dementia, just a daughter trying to help in any way I can. I have read and read the posts here and it occurs to me that what we are missing from the medical profession is the "team" approach for this disease. A group of like minded professionals who not only treat the patient but…
-
stage 5 symptom becoming prominent
I review the stages every so often. One stage 5 thing I'm seeing a lot of: difficulty interpreting background noise. My partner heard fireworks last night and thought it was shooting. Ditto with doors squeaking, she thinks it's the cat or dog crying. She's more 5 than 4 now, clearly progressed compared to a year ago. No…
-
Is the anger a stage will it abate.
My husband was a very gentle man. But now 7yrs into our AD journey he is very aggressive and angry . It started with short bursts but not lasts several days. Will this abate or is this how it will be from now on. Any insight from you all would help.
-
Time(2)
I think the time has passed for waiting for the time. Recent trip to Neuro new to DW due to original Neuro schedule so full. Doc was so impressed with physical attributes that she overlooked mental deficits initially. I could see the shock in her face immediately recommended in patient memory unit evaluation in addition to…
-
Lost my cushion
On July 7, I lost my beloved Cairn, Brinna. She was my cushion in dealing with DH. I enjoyed being able to focus on something else that was living and breathing. At 75, I feel too old to get another dog. Brinna was a retired champion show dog that we got from a couple who wanted to find a forever home for her. We were…
-
TUMERIC
Living with the fear of Alzheimer's, I was glad to read this in Sunday's newspaper https://www.seattletimes.com/author/teresa-graedon/ It turns out that India has very low rates of Alzheimer’s and the spices may be part of the reason. (Lower age of mortality is no doubt another factor.) So I bought a bottle of tumeric…
-
Karsikoff syndrome
Pretty new to this. My DW was an alcohol abuser. After several seizures and falls she has gone sober for about 2 years. Her short term memory is awful and she has confabulations. No doc has yet diagnosed her with anything other than dementia, My own research leads me to think she may have Karsikoff syndrome. The difference…
-
The right side
When I guide my partner in the shower, I'm pretty good at getting him to wash the right side down, but not the left side. For the arm, it's the opposite. He washes his right thigh and left forearm a lot. And it's the same for wiping. He only wipes his right leg, I can get him to wipe his left foot but never higher. At the…
-
Self Care
Last Christmas I developed a mysterious rash on my hands. It was very red and itchy and began working it’s way down my wrist and heading down my arms. The dermatologist determined it was stress induced Eczema . He asked if I was stressed lol. Ah yes. Yes I am. That rash was a visible representation of what stress was…
-
I thought this was great survey and it shows what people do not know.
https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/research/surveys_statistics/health/2021/dementia-diagnosis-perceptions.doi.10.26419-2Fres.00471.001.pdf