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One Last Time
Tony Bennett, diagnosed with alz. in 2016, and Lady Gaga will perform one more time.
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I’m back after a very long time away
Hi My sweet husband has been in a great (expensive) memory care facility here in Los Angeles for just over a year. He was 60 when diagnosed, he just turned 62. He’s doing okay and they take very good care of him. I, on the other hand, went into a deep depression. Worst in my life. With Covid and all I’ve become a hermit in…
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Placing HWD in a facility
It's been a hard few months but I'm finally placing my HWD in MC. Unfortunately it is in another city not too far but they were the only place that would even try to take on the behavior issues without me having to pay for private care within the facility. I would be interested in hearing words of advise as we transition…
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He told me to leave again
For the second time, DH didn't recognize who I was and told me to leave. Only this time it happened at 11:00 at night, and he told DS to leave, too. DS went upstairs into his domain and hid out. I left the house with my keys and cell phone and went to my shed. It's a nice pole barn, dry storage and has a couch. I could…
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Entering and existing a vehicle
I have a terrible time getting my wife into our vehicle. She doesn’t have the strength to put her legs up into the vehicle (Highlander). We have the assist handles, but strength to pick/pull oneself up into the vehicle is not there. Putting her buttocks on the seat then swinging legs in is the best option, but getting into…
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Getting worse(1)
My husband has not been taking a shower but has been shaving. Today I stayed with him and I had to talk him through taking a shower. I feel sad for him because in his former life, he was very clean and was horrified if I didn’t shower daily. He also asks when he will be getting his lunch and he has just eaten. I see his…
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Can’t get diagnosis. I think i am going crazy.
About 3 years ago i noticed difference in my LO’s memory and cognitive Discussed with her and PCP and of course it was disregarded Just before Covid i convinced the PCP and LO that there might be an issue She had MRI which showed normal brain loss and neurologist visit which was a disaster because she charmed him and i…
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Bad behavior
I am writing to apologize for my unwarranted and unpleasant recent comments. I am in a dark place and should not have been posting at all. I apologize to Lorita, who lives in a very different world than I do, but did not deserve my sniping. I have already somewhat apologized to day2nite for not realizing that she was…
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Major medical centers reject Aduhelm (aducanumab)
from today's new York TimesCleveland Clinic and Mount Sinai Won’t Administer Aduhelm to Patients The rejection of the new Alzheimer’s drug by the two major medical centers is one of the starkest signs of concern over its approval by the F.D.A. In a striking reflection of concern over the approval of the controversial new…
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If I ask for help will they take him away?
I heard the government can step in and institutionalize someone, spend all of their money on "care" and then kick them to the curb. Is that true?
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High stress, breathing, and a plan
I should be ashamed of myself for posting this when I see what Lady T is going through. And there are others who have it very much worse than I do. Nevertheless, stress is very real, no matter the underlying causes. The night before last, I was able to talk my wife into changing her incontinence underwear before going to…
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Just need to talk to my friends (150)
Morning, Thought I'd start another segment of our thread to get out of that whatever it is. I can't read the last couple of words in a line on my laptop but can on my tablet. Can you all believe we're up to 150 - can't remember when we started the 150 - but, guess we're a talkative bunch. It's already hot here or it is…
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Crushed: DPOA vs Guardianship
Crushed I have a legal question I have DPOA for my mother, will I also need Guardianship for her to place her in memory care. She will surely tell them she wants to leave, she tells me she wants to go home and she has been in the home we live in since her and dad built it in 1963.
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Something actually worked out as planned
I placed my disabled son about 20 years ago, with the idea that he will probably outlive me and it would be best for him to make the adjustment while I was around to help when needed. It has been a rocky road, in and out of hospital etc., but he adjusted pretty well over a period of several years. He was notified on June…
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How to deliver bad news that will be forgotten
I just learned that my 11 1/2 year old beagle is dying of cancer. Despite surgery and chemo, which she tolerated very well, the cancer has returned. She has about six months to live. I told my husband. He adores the dog and was very upset to hear the news. However, a few moments later, he asked me what was wrong since I…
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Guardianship in Maryland
I hope "Crushed" will see this and have advice. I'm where I need to place DH, however I don't have all the POA's and other documents needed. Let this be a lesson to those that have not heeded the advice on getting help from a Certified Elder Law Attorney! It is NEVER too soon! When my DH was originally diagnosed in Jan.…
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Topic of GUILT
Much has been written on this site about GUILT. Today I read this by Carolyn Hax in the Washington Post. “Guilt is a transaction. People can schedule all the guilt trips for you they please, but you’re the one who chooses whether to go on them. You can also choose not to, always—not to feel guilt, not to agree you have…
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Repetitive behaviors
My DH ( 91 moderate dementia ) opens and shuts file drawers at least 20 x a day. I ask him what he is looking for and he says he is "just looking". He takes out his discharge papers from the army when he was 23 yrs old and looks at them. He will look in the bedside table at his Electrical engineering Bachelor of Science…
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Wanted a fix
When DH is sitting, he crosses his feet and rubs them back and forth. He can’t wear shoes with laces as the movement unties them. He has been wearing Velcro fastening shoes and they work but he wears out the top of the shoes eventually destroying the Velcro. He is also a restless sleeper. Evaluation by the motion…
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New Glasses
DH lost his glasses about a month ago. Since then, he has been asking about them and wanting his glasses. I gave him a pair of magnifying reading glasses to use for close vision but he kept forgetting to put them on and usually I had to get them and tell him to use them. I finally made him an appointment with the eye…
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Poop on the stoop
This is both a VENT and a problem solving post. We have a morning routine here. I help DH to the toilet. After I get hubby dressed and get his coffee and turn on the TV, I feed the cat, treat the dog and take a few minutes for myself with my coffee on the back porch. This allows me to take some deep breathes, watch the…
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Connecting with the Social Worker
I followed up with the HHA this morning because I still had not heard from the medical social worker. The MSW called me about an hour later. The phone call was both a relief and a disappointment. A disappointment because when it came to identifying resources, I had already identified and contacted all but one of the…
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It was the end
My last post was how do you know it's the end as I wondered about putting my husband on hospice. I did start hospice on Sunday the 4th and he passed on Thursday the 8th. It was incredibly rapid. Even the aides at the facility were shocked. One came in to see him Tuesday morning. She had been off for three days and when she…
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How honest is right
My DW is fine most of the time. When she "goes south" meaning she starts to make up new facts for things she does not seem to remember, it gets tough. Then, in another moment, she will ask me "I'm getting better, don't you think?" I've been honest with her about going in and out and the out part seems to be a little more…
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A poem about our mornings
In the wee hours of morning, without any warning, The cat begins his loud meow, meaning he wants to eat now. The cat wakens my man, who stumbles to the can, In order to pee, without help from me. I pop out of bed, sleep still in my head. If I don’t act quickly, the floor will be sticky. When it comes to his aim, DH isn't…
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First Time at Day Care
Today was the first time that DH went to day care. He went believing he is a volunteer. He didn’t want me to go in with him, just wanted to be dropped off. Unfortunately, the director wanted me to go over protocol if COVID problems resurfaced so we went in together. They have an electronic sign in system that checks your…
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recognition does it come and go? Told me my eyes are a different color
Ok: No dx yet, but things have been weird for a few years and I've gone from wondering what's wrong with DH to thinking it's ALZ or dementia. (I'm keeping it short). Had discussions with family dr about various things. I have a couple of questions: we read about ALZ patients not recognizing family members. DH did not…
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Covid excess deaths
A very distinguished team has published a new estimate of total covid pandemic deaths in the USA Estimating Under-recognized COVID-19 Deaths, United States, March 2020-May 2021 using an Excess Mortality Modelling Approach https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanam/article/PIIS2667-193X(21)00011-9/fulltext# We estimated that…
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Forgetting Us
The latest painful thing is that my partner has lost our personal history, and keeps asking questions about it, because she wants to know: How did we meet? Were you married before? There was a long history with my ex (because of young children) whom she hated, and now she doesn't remember any of it. And there's much of it…
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DH memory problems getting worse
I think DH is in early stages of AD He won’t take any steps to make it better- 3 things I learnt help AD- Reading out loud, writing a journal and doing short sums. He won’t do any of them. I bought him a easy jigsaw puzzle, he won’t do it. He is 83, all he wants to do is watch Tv, he does go for daily I know his memory is…