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Transition from nagging wife to parent
When do I make the transition from nagging wife to parent? My husband was diagnosed with MCI last year. Changes to his short-term memory have been slight. Sometimes I think he is better. Other times I think not. (He is on Aricept —not that I think that is helping.) One thing I am noticing is that he showers every three to…
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Happy 58th Birthday to Dear Husband
Yesterday was DH's 58th Birthday. We made it a day long celebration, which was probably too long. DH stated he had a good time. He smiled big most of the day. DH danced with me again! Music really really gets him tapping his feet. The day gave me a milestone to compare where we are now to where we were a year ago. * We are…
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A Message from the Alzheimer’s Association during Covid-19(1)
This message is a joke.
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This has been working for a week
I know I'm not the only one with this problem, so I'll let you know what's working (so far) for me. My wife does not want to change her incontinence underwear in the morning, even if they weigh 15 or 20 pounds. It has been hard to get her to change. But after 7 days of success, I thought I'd share. We have been White Sox…
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She made me laugh
I pretty much dread the morning routine we have. Getting my wife undressed, showered, dressed again etc. is becoming more and more of a challenge. Depending how it goes often sets the tone for how the day will go. Today, I laughed out loud when I was helping her put a bra on. I usually help her get her arms through the…
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5 years ago
It has been 5 years since my wife, Colleen, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s; 8½ years since she first reported memory loss to her doctor. I believe she is currently nearing the end of stage 5. She started exhibiting some symptoms of Stage 6 years ago, but I don’t believe she’s there yet. She is past her year and a half long…
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File power of attorney and advanced medical directive
Just finished having the documents notarized, drawn by the attorney. DH has memory issues, still waiting on neuropsychological testing results. Where should file the papers? I am the spouse who has the authority. In the process of looking for a geriatric pcp in Inova in Virginia. For DH. Once decided, I will hand over a…
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Free Brain Donation
I have been trying to add another version of this on the AA site but the file is too large. So for now this will have to do. I reached out to AA and so far not much help. This is very important for all? If AA is successful, you will see the better one. One of the best ways to advance research toward finding answers about…
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2nd respite stay scheduled
It’s booked. Perhaps you remember when I told you about the nursing home in Tunisia (room in an hotel with a full time caregiver, lot of activities and all the medical staff). I called, get more information, discussed it with my partner’s children and decided to plan a trial in September September 23th we will fly to…
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AAN ISSUES ETHICAL GUIDANCE FOR DEMENTIA DIAGNOSIS AND CARE
That is great to see that they change the way they think about driving. I wish they did better about dying but they did improve it a hair. Press Release EMBARGOED FOR RELEASE UNTIL 4 PM ET, July 12, 2021 AAN ISSUES ETHICAL GUIDANCE FOR DEMENTIA DIAGNOSIS AND CARE MINNEAPOLIS – The American Academy of Neurology (AAN), the…
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Ten years of living with dying
It's over ten years since DW was diagnosed with MCI by doctors who simply did not want to call it early onset Alzheimer's in a 58 year old physician. She has gone from being a world famous physician + mother+ spouse to being a shambling shell who can be hand fed and walks and nothing else. The last 3 years and 10 months…
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Shadowing(2)
My DW seems to be getting worse as far as shadowing. She is at a moderate stage but declining at a faster pace the last several months. I know MC is going to be in the picture sooner than later. Have 4 hours a day/7 days a week help (thankfully bought LTC insurance back in 1999); but I am feeling more and more overwhelmed.…
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Some of the annoying things people say to caregivers........
Well meaning people, are often at a loss of what to say, so they fill the void with what they think is acceptable. Often, I prefer silence instead. For example, I was talking to another caregiver. I informed her that my DH had Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. She responded like so many people do, "does it run in the…
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Our Trip Was Cancelled
For the last five months we have been planning a trip to see friends in Idaho. They live in the mountains in a beautiful home and have wanted us to visit for several years We were scheduled to leave Tuesday 20 July and be gone for about a week. It is a long drive from our home to theirs, but with a night in a hotel each…
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One Last Time
Tony Bennett, diagnosed with alz. in 2016, and Lady Gaga will perform one more time.
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I’m back after a very long time away
Hi My sweet husband has been in a great (expensive) memory care facility here in Los Angeles for just over a year. He was 60 when diagnosed, he just turned 62. He’s doing okay and they take very good care of him. I, on the other hand, went into a deep depression. Worst in my life. With Covid and all I’ve become a hermit in…
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Placing HWD in a facility
It's been a hard few months but I'm finally placing my HWD in MC. Unfortunately it is in another city not too far but they were the only place that would even try to take on the behavior issues without me having to pay for private care within the facility. I would be interested in hearing words of advise as we transition…
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He told me to leave again
For the second time, DH didn't recognize who I was and told me to leave. Only this time it happened at 11:00 at night, and he told DS to leave, too. DS went upstairs into his domain and hid out. I left the house with my keys and cell phone and went to my shed. It's a nice pole barn, dry storage and has a couch. I could…
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Entering and existing a vehicle
I have a terrible time getting my wife into our vehicle. She doesn’t have the strength to put her legs up into the vehicle (Highlander). We have the assist handles, but strength to pick/pull oneself up into the vehicle is not there. Putting her buttocks on the seat then swinging legs in is the best option, but getting into…
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Getting worse(1)
My husband has not been taking a shower but has been shaving. Today I stayed with him and I had to talk him through taking a shower. I feel sad for him because in his former life, he was very clean and was horrified if I didn’t shower daily. He also asks when he will be getting his lunch and he has just eaten. I see his…
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Can’t get diagnosis. I think i am going crazy.
About 3 years ago i noticed difference in my LO’s memory and cognitive Discussed with her and PCP and of course it was disregarded Just before Covid i convinced the PCP and LO that there might be an issue She had MRI which showed normal brain loss and neurologist visit which was a disaster because she charmed him and i…
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Bad behavior
I am writing to apologize for my unwarranted and unpleasant recent comments. I am in a dark place and should not have been posting at all. I apologize to Lorita, who lives in a very different world than I do, but did not deserve my sniping. I have already somewhat apologized to day2nite for not realizing that she was…
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Major medical centers reject Aduhelm (aducanumab)
from today's new York TimesCleveland Clinic and Mount Sinai Won’t Administer Aduhelm to Patients The rejection of the new Alzheimer’s drug by the two major medical centers is one of the starkest signs of concern over its approval by the F.D.A. In a striking reflection of concern over the approval of the controversial new…
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If I ask for help will they take him away?
I heard the government can step in and institutionalize someone, spend all of their money on "care" and then kick them to the curb. Is that true?
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High stress, breathing, and a plan
I should be ashamed of myself for posting this when I see what Lady T is going through. And there are others who have it very much worse than I do. Nevertheless, stress is very real, no matter the underlying causes. The night before last, I was able to talk my wife into changing her incontinence underwear before going to…
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Just need to talk to my friends (150)
Morning, Thought I'd start another segment of our thread to get out of that whatever it is. I can't read the last couple of words in a line on my laptop but can on my tablet. Can you all believe we're up to 150 - can't remember when we started the 150 - but, guess we're a talkative bunch. It's already hot here or it is…
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Crushed: DPOA vs Guardianship
Crushed I have a legal question I have DPOA for my mother, will I also need Guardianship for her to place her in memory care. She will surely tell them she wants to leave, she tells me she wants to go home and she has been in the home we live in since her and dad built it in 1963.
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Something actually worked out as planned
I placed my disabled son about 20 years ago, with the idea that he will probably outlive me and it would be best for him to make the adjustment while I was around to help when needed. It has been a rocky road, in and out of hospital etc., but he adjusted pretty well over a period of several years. He was notified on June…
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How to deliver bad news that will be forgotten
I just learned that my 11 1/2 year old beagle is dying of cancer. Despite surgery and chemo, which she tolerated very well, the cancer has returned. She has about six months to live. I told my husband. He adores the dog and was very upset to hear the news. However, a few moments later, he asked me what was wrong since I…
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Guardianship in Maryland
I hope "Crushed" will see this and have advice. I'm where I need to place DH, however I don't have all the POA's and other documents needed. Let this be a lesson to those that have not heeded the advice on getting help from a Certified Elder Law Attorney! It is NEVER too soon! When my DH was originally diagnosed in Jan.…