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Blog
There is a great blog written by a lady in England whose husband Ash has dementia. It is called Memory for two. She has an amazing way of looking at life and seems to be able to turn things around and make something positive out of them. I am inspired each day I read it. She also has a Facebook page.
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My friend is starting this journey, I vent
When we moved into our house 32 years ago, we got lucky. Our next door neighbors are great people and have been our good friends the whole time we have lived here. We even have a bluestone paved path between our two houses. As DW’s dementia was worsening, our neighbors were very supportive and helpful. A few years ago, Dan…
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Life Balance
I have been using Noom to lose weight and make healthy decisions in my day to day life. I’ve copied one of the lessons below. As I read this with our situation in mind, I was struck by how much is applicable, and how inapplicable the rest is! I hope you find it interesting. Sorry about the font; I can’t change it on the…
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How long since your LO recognized you ?
According to my notes the last time DW knew my name, knew her own name, or recognized me standing in front of her was March of 2019. Two years ago. The only relief I have about the last Covid year is that she does not miss me at all. I am nothing to her. She is not suffering. I see her on Face Time 5 days a week. That…
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Having to be devious and feeling guilty
My partner so much wants to still be functional and so isn't. I'm finding I have to go behind her back to have conversations with multiple people just to keep things in the road, and while I know it's the right thing to do, it takes an emotional toll. There are a lot of looming spring chores on the farm that she's normally…
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neurologist visit(1)
DH had a neurologist visit yesterday. (This morning he asked me if he had gone or missed the visit. He checks the calendar every day.) He's slid downhill since the last visit and a new med (memantine) was added. But, before we left, the neurologist did something I didn't expect. He turned to me and asked how I was doing.…
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Have you ever seen a man in a woman's panties? It was my surprise this morning !!
I had a very difficult week and worked a lot. I was very tired yesterday. Yesterday my partner was alone in the house while I had a jury on zoom in my room. I heard his tablet, lord of the rings as usual... and very loud. As he could not turn down the sound he went to his room and I did not see him again until the…
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Repeating most everything he hears on TV
This began maybe 9 months ago. We are watching TV in the evening and he repeats the lines constantly. Sometimes he is all that I hear. Because of his hearing, he sometimes doesn't repeat it correctly, but it's close. I am amazed he can remember the lines at all! If I leave the room and come back and ask what happened, he…
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Medicaid basics and finding an elder law attorney
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/medicaids-coverage-of-nursing-home-care-18200?
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Coralie, McCott, and Jo C.
Has anyone heard from them? I know Jo posted not too long ago, but she wasn't feeling very well. It's been a little longer for McCott, and she has had major problems. Coralie has not posted for some time, and she had more than her plate full of physical problems. I hope things are OK with all of them.
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Hello(3)
Although this is my first post, I am not new to the forum. I’ve been gleaning useful information as well as comfort from many of you for over a year. I decided it’s time to come out of the shadows and introduce myself. DH and I have been married 40 years. I am 59 and he is 60. He was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s…
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Hospital to long term care...so hard!
My DH has been in the hospital for close to two weeks for his rapid deterioration physically and mentally due to dementia. It's been a grueling process for both of us. DH still has no understanding about his dementia. Thank goodness my state (KS) has protections in place for spouses regarding finances; however, I'm still…
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Just need to talk to my friends (141)
Morning, Time for #141 - time goes fast. Sara, remind me why you've been in quarantine, please. I know you don't get out too much either but you'll be glad when you can go if you want to. Ron, so you're enjoying Blue Bell. Have you had any problems with it? We used to eat that kind of ice cream all the time until the…
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Well I got one question answered
Joining this forum last summer helped me realize that we needed to get on the stick about updating our legal documents. Mine needed to be changed because she can no longer function as my poa or executor, and hers needed updating because of changes in family circumstances-and because she had invalidated her previous will by…
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Don't know what subject to put
It's been a while since I have posted anything. Each time I think I'll post something, something else happens and I think maybe that's the thing to post about. Then the next day it's something else. Things haven't been too bad recently but there are some things that are hurting me very much. One of those things is DH…
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Walking the tightrope
Some days I feel like I'm walking a tightrope. Most of DH's sentences are like playing some sort of game like Scattegories. I have to try and figure out what he's talking about, without asking too many questions. There's that fine line.....I can ask questions, and risk him flipping out on me, or I can just fake like I know…
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are there helpful medications these days?
my wife is becoming more and more forgetful and it's becoming more serious. she had a double mastecomy 4 years ago and i saw a deteriation about 2 years ago. tomorrow, we are visiting her cancer doctor for what is supposed to be the last time. i am going to talk to this doctor about what's going on and try to get my wife…
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Notifying family members
This is my 1st time submitting to the Caregiver Forum. I'm looking for guidance of how to discuss with my DW's (79) family that she is in mid-stage Alzheimer's. This is the opinion of our PCP & the feedback I have provided to him about her conditions. The reason I have not told her family is she has accused me of telling…
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Social security at age 70-Contingency planning
I just got my first Social security payment on my own account as opposed to the spousal allowance on DW's account. This trick has been eliminated for anyone born after Jan 1 1954. Covid has certainly caused a staggering increase in costs for DW, primarily the extra cost of her personal caretaker in MC. I saw her for the…
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Neglect of your loved one
I have been told by several, that if I choose to leave my DW alone and she has an accident or even a fatal one, charges could be pressed against me for negligence and I could be put into prison. Have any of you ever heard of such law(s)? Not that it would make a difference in explaining this to my DW to reinforce the…
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A question for our medical field members
Three years ago my wife had problems with AFIB. It seems to have resolved itself now. She also had indications in an MRI that she had suffered TIAs in the past, which she was unaware of. When Covid hit hard about a year ago, I asked our doctor if my wife could go off coumadin, and take aspirin instead so I wouldn't have to…
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Road Trip(2)
My LO and I will be taking a two day (12 total hours of driving) road trip in a few weeks. I'd like to hear about road trip experiences. My husband does not have bowel/bladder issues, yet. He will be unable to assist with driving or navigation and will likely lose track of where we are. Please share all experiences, even…
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Mother in Law
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Bidet?
My DW, stage six, still toilets herself but is having trouble cleaning herself with toilet paper leading to underwear issues, hand washing issues. Sometimes things go ok, often not so good. I am wondering if anyone has experience with installing a bidet to help improve personal care? I am concerned she could not learn to…
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I think I found something worse than forgetting
This morning my DH just watched me as I get him up/changed/and in his chair. I asked what was wrong and he continued to stare at me. As I got him his pills and breakfast he point at me and said, "you." I asked if he know who I was and he shook his head no. So I just figured out what is worse than forgetting things and that…
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How do you force someone into placement?
I'm hoping I never have to do that, but there are signs suggesting that it might be in the not too distant future. God, I hope not! Most of the time (80%?) she seems to be just about normal, knowing what is going on, and (mostly) how to respond to things. But then there is the other 20% to deal with, and I'm not sure I can…
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Sometimes you just can't answer the question
I sleep very lightly. When my wife gets up, or just moves around in bed, I wake up. Early this morning, she started moving around, and woke up. She asked me what time it was. I told her it was 2 o'clock. She then asked me "Why is it so early?".
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Donepazil
DW has been taking Donepazil and Memantine for several years, but it's hard to know if they've been doing any good. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances we ran out of Donepazil, and DW had to go a few days without. Immediately she fell off her plateau, became even more restless and got into a foul mood. Let's hope…
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Questions: Cleaning up poop with shaving cream
* Does it matter what kind of shaving cream I use to clean up poop? * Does shaving gel also work to clean up poop? * Should anything menthol be avoided? * Do I just slather the shaving cream on, then wipe it off? * Do I rinse DH after wiping off the shaving cream? * Can shaving cream also be used for the bathroom clean-up,…
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Psych evaluation continues
DW's psych evaluation just finished its 3rd week. I got a call from a member of the Palliative Care team after they had been asked to do an assessment of her. They told me that she won't be leaving there any time soon. Also said that sometimes when a patient is ready to leave they can't be cared for at home. When I asked…