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floundering in stage 8
My DH Jesse passed away 4/5/22. I miss him more than I can explain. I have struggled with grief and the pain of losing my love and my best friend. Over the last several months, I have been able to reflect on happy times. I have been able to laugh out loud at our private jokes. I have been overwhelmed by the blessing of the…
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Dream - - or nightmare?
I hesitate to post this, but here goes: Early this morning, just before I awoke, I had a dream that for some unknown reason, I had brought DH home from his MCF to care for him. It was sheer chaos. Although DH was always “easy”, I was re-living the constant stress of caring for him 24/7. I was following him around,…
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Checking in - early March 2023
It's been awhile since I checked in about my DH - things had been going pretty smoothly. I guess I got used to the questions and short-term memory loss. Lately, there's been a change: The questions keep coming, and now he is super confused about the passage of time, arguing that things happened two months ago, when, in…
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Too Many Rum & Cokes
When we got over the hurdle of my DH accepting he was "retired" (he was angry at his boss, feeling he was fired when he should'nt have been). He starting enjoying "happy hour". I thought it was a good thing. It put him in a good mood. However, it has evolved into an all night thing with him drinking several rum and cokes…
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medicare and supplement ?
I have a quick question on Medicare and supplement insurance. I figured if anyone would know you guys would. My wife doesn't qualify for Medicaid our income level is about $100.00 over. Do you have to have a supplement insurance with Medicare? Since we live in OK and my wife is Native American and she is a tribal member,…
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Fidgeting Alternatives
Hello everyone. My wife is a perpetual fidgeter. She actually thinks she is doing productive work. What she is doing is taking things apart and "putting everything away". She is like a toddler on sugar sometimes and it is exhausting to constantly redirect her fidget energy. The kitchen has become her primary fidget space.…
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I just want to say Thanks to everybody
I'm Hoot and I just want to say a big Thank-you to everybody that had words of wisdom for me on my journey with with my wife with this disease. She passed on Sept. 27 and her suffering was over. I don't know how I would have made without you folks listening to me and telling me what to do. Lots of times I needed to unload…
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Relief from placement guilt
For those who’ve placed loved ones in facilities: Remember when and if guilt attempts to creep in to your psyche- you didn’t begin the business of abandonment, as you were first abandoned by your loved one advancing through the stages of Alzheimers. Every care giver and every Alzheimer’d individual has varying stories,…
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can't stop crying
My granddaughter mad me cry. Now I can't stop. I'm so tired of having to stay home to change my DH diapers, feed him and I just want to scream. I have no idea how long I will not have control over my own life. I know I will miss my DH but he is really already gone. He still recognizes me and I should be grateful for that.…
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Did we miss something in the beginning?
My wife's father died from Alz and I've always been told that by my wife so when she first started showing mild symptoms years ago we both just assumed. She didn't want to accept it, deal with it or go to the doctor about it and I didn't force her. Several years ago I made an appt with her PCP and since I had POA I was…
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If you haven't seen it......
Read the "Exciting News About Alzconnected" (one of the stickies on the main page). We're going to a new UI, so you should know what to expect.
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Question/Response I Can't Stand
"Does she still recognize you?" .... "Well, that's good." Ugh.
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Is it true? After Alzheimer’s…
I’m reading Patti Davis’s (daughter of Pres. Reagan) memoir, “Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Dementia, and she asserts “that once Alzheimer’s enters your life, it never really leaves”. I’m wondering, for those of you have had a partner/spouse die what about it is still in your experience that might…
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How do I tell my husband he is going into a memory care unit?
We're at the point that I don't dare leave him at home. He still tries to help but he forgets what he's doing and doesn't finish. Or he does something wrong, like handwash dishes without soap. He doesn't think he is in such bad shape. There are times when he talks with me that he doesn't make any sense. They are words in…
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Starting in-home care. How many hours a week?
I know there are many of you who may have experience and wisdom on this topic. I am just now researching agencies to do in-home care for my DH who was diagnosed with mild dementia last December, after a diagnosis of MCI two years ago. He can still feed, dress, and toilet himself, but his needs and angry outbursts are…
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Dementia TV
I just came across this site. It is TV made for dementia, and looks really good. I don't have any first hand experience with it, but I think it's worth looking at. https://watch.zinniatv.com/browse https://watch.zinniatv.com/browse You can get a good idea of what it offers before signing up. Monthly price is $6.99, but if…
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nightmare of double incontinence
I woke up this morning to a major mess. My DH can't take a shower on his own. Thank heavens for Hospice. His bowel movement was everywhere. on his hands, all over his cup and on the rail of his bed. I did the best I could and now I'm waiting for Hospice to come shower him and I can clean the rest. What a nightmare that I…
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Interesting article about music and memory
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/02/26/songs-music-memory-connection/
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Information
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Creative Kindness Dynamic From sunnydove
This approach was part of a Post on the Caregivers Forum; it is from Member, sunnydove. For some of our Loved Ones this can be applied to, it is a lovely idea: " . . . One thing I do with Mom all the time is thank her for her help. Often she's done absolutely NOTHING. But she doesn't know that. So if I have to put in a new…
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Save a few bucks on streaming
https://cordcutterweekly.com/26-free-tv-services-to-stream-for-cheap/
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I feel so alone as he changes
I've been with my boyfriend for 22 years. He is diagnosed with Alzheimer's and his mother died from it. We never married because we were afraid he would be diagnosed and Texas is a community property state. i have worked a demanding job for the time we've been together. I was forced to retire in December of '21 even though…
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What stage is he in?(1)
Need to vent please. My husband doesn’t sleep at night. He might fall asleep for an hour then he’s up all night. Totally out of it at. Totally worse, out of it the next day. He’ll catnap during the day but it’s not restful. Talking nonsense, seeing things. Can’t complete a sentence that makes sense, hallucinates, totally…
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Need Direction
My husband and I moved to Fort Worth, Texas from California in late 2020 after he was first diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Memory Disorder. Our Primary Care physician referred us to a Neurologist. He initially did an EGG and prescribed Aricept and recently prescribed Reminyl. The medications are helping however I feel like…
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Back After Awhile
Hi, Everyone: I haven't been on in a few weeks, but I need to vent. Hubs, every few weeks or so, speaks of his mother in the present tense, although she died in 2016. This evening he was adamant that he had just spoken to his sister who was, according to Hubs, is in town. She is actually a few hundred miles away and hasn't…
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How long does agitation/agressive behavior last
Hello All,My lo was diagnosed with Alzheimer's eight months ago. And his agitation/agressive behavior has been there from almost the very beginning. He's been on serequal for about 3 month, which has barely helped. Then doctor also added Xanax once a day. Which just seems to sedate him but he still has agitation and…
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DH update with aggression-such a difficult process
Hi, I have mentioned in a few posts my DH has gotten really agitated/aggressive/violent towards staff and residents. Well, for the first time today, I went there and he was very wound up. He pinned me against the wall and staff had to come help. He was so scared and in fight mode. I left and came back later. I know it’s…
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My Story So Far
You would have to see my profile, click on story, rather long but all true.
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This could benefit some here
I posted this on the Caregiver's forum, but thought maybe it should be posted here too. https://www.elderlawanswers.com/becoming-a-family-caregiver-for-an-ailing-loved-one-19539
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If I get dementia
My wife’s sister posted this on Face Book and I wanted to share it. If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things. 1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. 2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think…