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Visiting my DW in Memory care home.
I haven’t written 9 months, thats when i put my DW in memory care. That was the most difficult thing i have ever had to do. We have been married for 51 years and were joined at the hip, so in love all this time. She has has Alzheimer’s for 13 years now and for the last 4 years i have made sure that she had friends around…
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Owning our loved one's disease, what does it mean as a caregiver?
What do you think the term means, "owning it," in reference to our spouse's illness? What does "owning" something in counseling jargon refer to? What does it look like? Is it simply another way to look at acceptance? If so, what does fully accepting the dementia journey really mean? Whatever Acceptance is, is it possible…
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Question concerning POA
Hello All, Husband and I met with elder law attorney this morning. He is drawing up papers for me to be POA for my husband. We go back to sign papers on March 8th. Since attorney is drawing up the papers does that mean he found him competent, or will husband have to answer more questions on day he signs the papers? Just…
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I am deep in it
I have a contract on my home 2500 sq ft in the country, 16 acres 4 outbuilds a 24x40 garage all have stuff. Getting rid of most Stuff has been easy, and I am making good headway, the scrap yard has been profitable, 1400$ and counting in scrap steel, the dumpster folks will know my name, goodwill is also getting their…
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update on DH...hospice
Hi All...just wanted to give you an update on my DH as I had asked about keeping LO at home during the journey with AD. My DH went on Hospice several weeks ago, and I had no problem with this as the benefits out way the negative. I still have my caregivers coming seven days a week to help me get DH up in the morning and to…
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Partially OT - Medicare Advantage or Supplement?
I’m interested in the group’s thoughts on Medicare Advantage versus a supplement. I am posting in the spouse forum because I think the age range here is more relevant It’s off topic because it concerns my spouse rather than my PWD It’s time to decide whether to keep my spouse on my retiree insurance, which becomes a…
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Romantic film and tears
When my husband and I first got together, he wore round black framed glasses. A friend of mine told me I was Sylvester and my husband was Tweety Bird. It was a running joke because of my hubby’s sense of humour. Tonight I was watching “Evening” in which a woman recounts her past love. I made it through the movie, almost.…
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Weighted blankets(1)
DH is having a hard time sleeping at night at the care facility. He often wakens and wants to get up and can be loud enough to waken the other residents. Most times he will go back to sleep when told it is too early to get up, however, the night care giver and other residents often hav a hard time going back to sleep.…
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Restless Spouse Syndrome
My wife gets all her steps in at night. I generally sleep through it, but on occasion I come awake and then the night is shot. She is unrelenting. Morning has the top sheet crunched into the foot board, and the comforter....well, it varies. I sleep hot, so I don't mind the cover theft, but....dang woman, give it a rest…
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NYT With Covid the elderly are on their own
For Older Americans, the Pandemic Is Not Over Seniors are increasingly left to protect themselves as the rest of the country abandons precautions: “Americans do not agree about the duty to protect others.” In early December, Aldo Caretti developed a cough and, despite all his precautions, came up positive for Covid on a…
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There but “not quite there” phase???
Ok so I’m kind of thinking that DH is cognitively in between being aware where I feel I can have a logical conversation with him and then feeling he is not “there at times” where I feel he’s not totally understanding our conversations! So what or how do you handle this? He is “ there” sometimes and totally not at other…
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When it is time, is it her or me?
For starters I think we have a great love story since 1959. We've also been active physically, running, cycling and sailboat racing. Her physical health is excellent much better then a normal 82 year old. We're probably 5 years into Alzheimer's. She is in a University health care loop, Neurology, Physician and ElderCare.…
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Just a card my wife made years ago
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Starting over
This is a little card I found going thru stuff and have read it several times because it's a part of life, sometimes we are starting over. Stewart
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CELA and Medicaid annuity
Met with a CELA. A bit pricey but worth it since I feel better informed now. Some of what we discussed was reassuring, some was thought provoking, and some was slightly alarming. Under the category of thought provoking was the strategy of using some of DH’s retirement fund to purchase a Medicaid Annuity. As I understood…
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International availability of an Amyloid PET Scan
I'm a new participant in this group and am hoping to find an answer to a pressing question. My husband's doctor has explained that he needs to obtain a diagnosis of Alzheimers to be eligible for a new FDA approved drug. He is a little reluctant to undergo a spinal tap. Apparently he can't receive an Amyloid PET scan in the…
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Just need to talk to my friends (187)
Hi, Thought it was about time to begin 187 because it was taking so long to be able to reply - at least it has been for me. I saw something on the evening news I wanted to tell you all about in case you didn't see it. It was a warning for people NOT to use Ezricare Artificial Tears. It didn't give the name but I looked it…
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MC Facilities denied entrance
I don’t know if this resonates with anyone. But my wife has early onset. She was always taken care of by me at home. Absolutely no medication was needed now she is at the point where she gets scared a lot and a dual personality appears so one night I took her to the ER Hoping they would give her something to calm down.…
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Colonoscopy question
Hello All, I have a question about whether it is wise to schedule my H for a colonoscopy, which he is due for this year. He is 70 years old, diagnosed in 2014 with MCI, changed to probably Alz after a spinal tap in 2016. He is still relatively functional (can dress himself, feed himself, etc.) but has very poor short term…
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Best way to tell spouse they must go to memory care
Does anyone have suggestions on how to tell my husband he will be going to memory care?
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Thank You Everyone
The Celebration of Life for DH is over, the out of town friends and family have gone home, some of the flowers we received are starting to fade and wilt. Now the next chapter in my life begins. This forum is the best place to learn, rant, ask questions, get support, share experiences and more. Thank you to everyone for…
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Communication/mis-communication frustrations
My husband with FTD, early stages, sometimes brings up a topic and I'l respond in a normal way, mild and "neither here nor there." Yet he'll take it as an attack of some kind and respond in an angry tone as if I've created an argument, or as if we're in an unpleasant debate about something. When this happens I leave the…
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My DH suffered a massive stroke and passed away
I am numb and shattered. Not too long ago I wrote in this forum that I could not contribute often because my DH was shadowing me all the time, asking what I was doing and following me everywhere I went. Now I am ALONE……the love of my life is gone forever, I have all the time in the world to myself, what irony! Doctors told…
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Door handles
Hi, well, my DH has been in memory care almost 4 weeks now. It such a huge transition. Extremely heart heavy. Anyway, he has broken off a thermostat and his handle door knob three times. I realized he doesn’t comprehend how the handle door knobs work. (The kind that you pull down and push the door open). We had “regular…
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No joy in cooking anymore
I know there are people dealing with far bigger problems than this one, but I am sharing because it continues to mystify me. Since my teens, I have loved to cook. I am largely self-taught, but I learned a fair amount and earned a reputation for being pretty good at it. My mom was a wonderful cook and a fantastic baker,…
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I’m back
hi everyone, Sorry I have been keeping radio silence. A lot has transpired. First of all, my mother who is turning 90, has been hospitalized with four different infections. She is now on the mend but the progress is very slow and incremental. My brother and I have been feeding her cats and visiting her on a regular basis.…
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How to get out of this rabbit hole?
A year ago I was confused stressed angry sad and dealing with DH anger issues. Today I’m all of the pre mentioned and now adding a very apparent decline in short term memory! It’s sad it’s scary lonely for us both. I feel so helpless and still want to make it stop! I’m having heart palpitations which I assume are due to…
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Hospice(18)
Unfortunately, my dh has qualified for Hospice and yesterday we started. I could not believe all the help that is available. I will still have all my caregivers as I can not longer get Jerry up in the morning and down in the evening without help. Some of the expenses that I have paid for the last number of years is now…
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Does the doc diagnose based jon CNS neurocognitive test?
My DH(age 56 now) had neurocognitive testing in 2016 and got an score of 75% for his age , was diagnosed with depression and was told there wasn't anything wrong with him,despite the things I saw. Fast forward to 2023, I got him back to a neurologist, he just had a new CNS neuro test, scored overall in the 45% , except for…
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An Eye Opener
My DH, 67 yrs old, most likely has chronic traumatic encephalopathy. He is quite functional and only he and I have noticed his mental decline so far. Some days are worse than others. I’ve been sick with influenza for the past five days, and he’s been bringing me food and drink, and taking care of our pets. Yesterday the…