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Shocked out of ambiguous denial perhaps
Stunned. I'm just... stunned. I guess this is how it goes. He's more declined than I realized. Wish I could call someone. But it's probably just as well it's the middle of the night. I doubt I'm coherent; need time to sort out what happened tonight. Helps just knowing you're here. Thanks....
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Am I losing it?
I wonder if I am going slowing into this world of forgetting. Last night I went to the Christmas program, mainly because I do the sound system. Yesterday seemed like a blur couldn't tell you what the preacher said.well I brought gifts for all the folks my dw always gave to. It was her towels that she had made,she had…
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Tapping into our survival mode
I think we survive as caregivers because as humans we are hard wired for harsh conditions. Think about survival during the ice age. Your partner asking you 1000 times a day where do you want this rock was the least of your worries. I think it's why people endure catastrophes like plane crashes and ships sinking. Evolution…
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Wills
We went to the lawyer's office and signed our wills today, along with various Powers. This was supposed to make me feel better, having all that financial and related stuff resolved for now. I wish I felt more settled. Taking care of business doesn't improve Hubs' mental functioning. Just feeling down right now. I just hope…
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Question about Hand Feeding
I have a question about hand feeding. I thought that hand feeding would come when DW's motor control had deteriorated so that she could not manage her eating utensils. Or when she became so out of it that she was virtually catatonic. Now however she needs to be hand fed because otherwise she will most just futz with her…
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happy Irish Hannukah
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Lost Hat
My SO lost his hat! I know this because he told me 11 times in 2 hours. Me: I’m sorry. Look in the car. Did you check the bedroom? I called the restaurant - they don’t have it. Repeat all my responses. Let’s go to Kohls and buy a new one. On the way to Kohls he obsessed about his keys so “it doesn’t make sense to go to…
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Reality tonight. Just thoughts
I know this is all very real but tonight, after putting DW to bed and telling her I'll be right there after I step outside and smoke my pipe, cold yes but not bitterly so. I'm standing there by myself, for practically the entire day with out my shadow, so I'll take it, all the while listening for her to start crying. The…
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Free Covid home tests available
4 Free Covid at home tests are available thru the USPS at https://store.usps.com/store/results?Ntt=covid&_requestid=377312 You can also get 8 free tests per month using your insurance/Medicare at any pharmacy which takes your insurance and has them in stock. Since the numbers seem to be climbing, it might not be a bad idea…
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Neuro visit tomorrow, what to expect?
My DW's neuro visit is tomorrow and up until now I haven't been worried on how I'm going to present it to her. She is basically blissfully unaware of her condition and has been in denial from the start. She refused to be tested in the early days. I took her to our primary and they ran a preliminary test and referred her to…
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Random Thoughts
I am thankful for this community and the support it provides. I read more often than I post. May we all find some peace and joy in this holiday season as we traverse this difficult journey. Now - the random thoughts: - I participated in a research study for caregivers this fall. As part of the study, I had a weekly call…
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Just need to talk to my friends (183)
Morning, Thought it was about time to begin a new part of our thread. Time gets away from me and we have been talkative these past few days or weeks. It's a beautiful morning. Rain yesterday - only .5" but it really seems muddy. It's sunny this morning with a little bit of wind. I think the next couple of days will be…
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My neurology appointment today
I had a follow-up visit with the neurology nurse practitioner. A few weeks ago I did Neurotrax, which is a computerized cognitive testing program. I was in the green range (good) for most domains, but in the yellow range (caution) for short term memory and executive function--basically the same as before, a few years ago.…
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New support tool in my area
There is a new support tool available here and I am hoping it will be helpful. Our county is sponsoring it. It is called Trualta. There is a care manager and online assistance. When I registered yesterday, I explored the website and there are numerous articles on caregiving and how to handle different situations. There are…
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This may be near the end
As I've mentioned before, my husband is bedbound and home with me. I think his journey is about over. I'm not sure. He is no longer eating even though I offer, but don't force. He sleeps/rests a lot. He is losing his voice. Only urinating once or twice a day. No longer wants to sit up in bed. Sometimes doesn't talk at all.…
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Emotional roller coaster(1)
Although I’ve been reading this discussion group for months, I’ve never posted. My DH has had Parkinson’s for a number of years, and more recently, what I believe is Parkinson’s dementia. He recentlymoved into AL because of deteriorating mobility which led to a series of bad falls. He refused to accept any limitations and…
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Poor financial judgement and clutter
My DH has early stage dementia and has been making donations like crazy, both political and charitable. They are not huge amounts but they can still add up to a fair bit of money. He is very susceptible to the pleas for donations with messages of urgency or matches of donations. He still has capacity to make decisions but…
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HAHA.....new fashion trend?!
The other morning my DH came out of his bedroom with his red underpants on OVER his flannel lined khakis! I told him that I'd help him get it fixed because that's not how those should go on. He looked at me and said "A lot of people wear them this way"!!! That evening, we were finishing dinner when a bat came swooping past…
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Do Caregivers End up with PTSD?
I was just looking at our (my) Christmas tree and realized that this will be my eighth Christmas caring for my wife with dementia. It has been over seven years since she has given me a Christmas card (or gift). It seems longer when stated in terms of “number of Christmases.” I sometimes wonder if I will have some sort of…
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Merry Christmas and Farewell
I’d like to thank all of you for the incredible help you gave me during the last few years of caregiving for my husband. The tips, encouragement, and problem solving were invaluable because they weren’t available anywhere else except from people who actually experience this horrendous disease. Special thanks to Ed,…
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Am I just feeling sorry for mysel?
12/16/2022 I have always been too sensitive and as such I get my feelings hurt really easily. I think I get past them, but my memory is like a steal trap and unlike my DH, my memories are imbedded and continue to stack up. I can access them at a moment’s notice and every time a new one happens, I get a flash back of all…
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Calling for prayers
Ok folks . Sigh. My annual mammogram was flagged for “ possible mass” . My sister died from breast cancer and I have been thinking about her since I got the letter on Saturday. No one seems to think cancer right now but I’m going to get a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound tomorrow morning. Many of you know my husband is…
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Change in diagnosis: what to do now?
Hello, friends, I have benefitted from your wise advice in the past, so I venture to ask again. My DH was first diagnosed with MCI in 2020. He is now 84 yo and was just diagnosed as now having mild dementia. Thanks to your advice, our DPOA is in order. We also have a will, although I'm guessing it may need to be changed so…
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This Message Board is so great
Just wanted to say how much I appreciate this message board and all the wonderful people who participate. We are all in a similar boat and that is so helpful to know. May peace be with all of us and our loved ones.
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Feeling the whiplash
I am not sure why I am posting this today. I am very sleep deprived, and not firing on all cylinders, and I am emotional and stuck and lonely. Ok then. The last week has been super-great. Everything has been easy. For some mysterious reason my gal has been sneaking off to use the bathroom without assistance, and she is…
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Which topic had this information.?
A few weeks ago there was a post on a topic that had started months earlier. I chose to follow the topic but don’t remember the name…it was a long compilation of items that others had found useful. Does someone know the topic? Specifically there was mention of a very simple telephone, and a TV remote also. How do I find it…
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No SNF will accept my combative husband
Last week my husband was coughing, sneezing, weak and unable to get out of bed so I called 911. After 12 hours in the Emergency Department he was admitted with a diagnosis of influenza A. After a week in the hospital his flu symptoms are improved, but on his third day of PT he can only stand for less than a minute and walk…
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help at home: when is it time for that?
I think many of you have kept your spouse/partner at home for as long as possible, yet some had reason (and means) to hire a helper/aide to assist with care or maybe just for company. Perhaps this started with just a few hours per week or per day and gradually ramped up. If this situation describes you at some point in…
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Looking for a support network
I'm new to this forum and my DH is moving from short term memory loss to dementia. He has no short term memory and needs supervision for most tasks. Not hygiene, feeding, etc, but other daily life - farm chores, running equipment, building, fixing things, trimming horses, et. He gets angry when I tell him what to do, so I…
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Please don't leave me!
My DW wakes up every morning crying and sobbing about not knowing where she is, wants to go home with her mom and dad who are long gone, but she also pleads with me to not leave her. I don't know if she senses that she's drifting away and will forever forget me at some point or she's just scared because she no longer…