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What do you say
My DW has congestive heart failure as well as mild VD and signs of ALZ. She's constantly saying she wants to go on vacation when she's better. I would love to go on a vacation, but she's not going to get better. I don't know what to tell her. If we were to go somewhere, with her heart issues, you never know from one day to…
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Financial Aid & Care Resources for Long Term Senior Care
I was trying to find some help for Josey Wales, and I came upon this site that has links for all states. Hopefully it will be helpful to someone. It also has links to medicaid and non medicaid programs in all states, as well as other programs. You may not need to be a senior to receive benefits if the patient has a brain…
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Dementia is......(fill in the blank)
I previously saw a topic on the board that was something like "Dementia is _______ (fill in the blank). I could not find it this morning to add the following thought. Dementia is: struggling to get the flushable items (urine and feces) in the toilet AND keeping the non-flushable items (you name it) out of the toilet.
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Infidelity accusations(1)
My DH has AD and VD. Not sure if ES or MS. Would appreciate advice from SO who's experienced accusations by PWD of infidelity by their spouse caregiver. Have been able to react positively to other false beliefs but not this one. Denials are negative and trigger upset reactions because I'm either lying or don't believe him.…
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Clueless in Seattle
I read many of the posts in several of these threads and I’m unsure how to proceed or even if I belong here. First my DW is suffering from dementia brought on by multiple TIA’s (mini strokes). They occurred in Nov of 2019 so we have only been on this roller coaster since then. I read many posts that I can relate to. Brief…
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6 months since DW placed in Memory Care
Sept 27 I placed my beautiful DW of 41 years in MC. She has adjusted well, but then Covid clamped down, and i could only have window visits (in 3 degrees and snow) until she was fully vaccinated this month. Now I can take her out, have lunch, walk on the beach. She seems well adjusted, and appears to be calmer, less…
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Do you know were I asked the question?
I know I asked someone if they are related to Kennedy somewhere but I don’t know where to go to see their answer on that thread. I so hate this site as it is so hard to find things.
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Not diagnosed yet
LO changing over past year. Needs support with cooking, using the tv remote, unable to work her phone, can’t go to dr appointments alone and can no longer drive. I am managing these changes and take what bits of time I have to use a meditation app. At any rate, she declines to talk about this with her dr of thirty years. I…
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fire safety in facilties
Horrible fire in New York with at least one patient and probably one fire fighter killed I wrote my law school dissertation on fire safety in mental hospitals and I started teaching fire safety regulation in 1975. This is beyond appalling I will put together a list of things to look for in any facility. DW is in a…
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I feel lost
I haven't posted on here for quite awhile. When I first came on, I think it was 2018, everything was brand new. "Crushed" gave me the advice to get a lawyer before I did anything else. Luckily, I found a great elder care Attorney who told me about a local place called Memory Care. There I was able to have a doctor who…
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A nightmare in the nightmare
Last night I had a terrible nightmare, I woke up anxious and sweating heavily. Afraid, and not thinking clearly, I woke up DH to tell him I had a nightmare. That's what I always did pre-Alzheimer's. Back in those days he would listen to what made me afraid, remind me it was a dream and tell me to go back to sleep. Last…
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High grade late stage care.
DW can walk, chew and swallow. That is the absolute total of her abilities. She has not recognized a cookie on a plate for 2 years. She has not recognized me in in the same time. She gets really first class care. When I checked her the other day she was is prefect physical shape. Fingernails and hair growing and trimmed.…
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Just need to talk to my friends (142)
Morning, Sara, glad you got some of your seeds started. That's always a good sign that spring is almost here. It was so warm when I woke up this morning - 69 here and 43 in Pawhuska (Pioneer Woman's home) way NW of here. There's a front that's going to stall out just south of Tulsa so we should stay warm today. Got out and…
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No Way Out
My husband was diagnosed with dementia in 2016. By 2018 he was fired as he could not complete tasks properly. I have been taking care of everything financially since 2016 as he practically gave his money away. We nearly lost our house and his bank account went to zero. He is 17 years older than I am and we have 2 minor…
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How do you Celebrate
Yesterday my oldest son was welcomed as the fulltime First Fire Chief in a growing city. How do you celebrate and be happy at the same time?? My DH served on a voluntary fire department for twenty years prior to his diagnosis. Our oldest son joined the department before DH retired from it. Our youngest son joined shortly…
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Top This
I am a retired microbiologist. Over 40 yrs in the field I have had to deal with gangrenous body parts, gross sputum/poop/wound/and you name it specimens to be cultured. But my DH almost made me hurl twice this week. First: He had a bowel explosion. Nothing new. Got him into bathroom, sitting on toilet. I am getting shower…
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My FiL is not Giving my MiL the Care She Deserves
My wife's dad is one obstinate man to say the least. He's the full time caregiver for my wife's mom who has middle to late stage Alzheimer's (sorry, I'm not quite sure). My wife and I have tried to get him to accept in-home assistance to no avail. Recently, we've even offered ourselves to assist more, but he just can't let…
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I can only see one way out
I can’t do it anymore
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medical expenses and IRA withdrawals
I remember this topic coming up in the past. My DH is now in MC so I asked our CPA about this. Given our income and our anticipated deductions for 2021, she gave me an amount that I can withdraw tax free for this year. My questions are: What should I do with our withdrawals? Should I put it in savings or reinvest it or…
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what is your loved ones favorite saying why they can't remember things
My Peewee also says " I have been back to sleep" That's why I don't remember what your talking about.
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suggestions please(2)
Hi DH has been in residential care for 4.5 years, now late stage 6 or possibly into 7. Moves around independently at a slow shuffle, has had a few non-damaging falls. Knows me by sight, sometimes by name, calls me wife, says he loves me, can't believe we are married or have 2 adult children and a grandson. Only person…
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a different kind of grief
I've been through a lot during my lifetime. Many challenges, some hard times, but nothing like this. It's a different kind of grief. Slow, relentless, all encompassing. So much loss- my husband, my freedom, my health(?), my future, my (free) time, my money, my dreams, my peace- on a daily basis. Every day, with no end in…
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The Dog has Dementia too
Sigh. .Well if life with Alzheimers wasn’t bizarre enough, the 15 yr old dog has dementia too. Right now I’m here listening to the sound of his pacing up and down the hall. He will do this all night . I had to block his way or he will come check on me all night and wake me up. And the shadowing! Picture me walking through…
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home activities in the midst of Covid - New member
My MIL has recently moved in with our family permanently. Both my husband and I are still working everyday with him trying to work from home as much as possible so that someone is with her. She's still independent enough to dress herself, shower, eat, etc. We prepare all of her meals because if left up to her, she would…
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Dreams(2)
DH was diagnosed with dementia almost 5 years ago. I've had many dreams about him, usually disturbing ones like him getting lost, or we're on a trip and he's very confused, and so on. Two nights ago I dreamed he was talking A LOT. In reality he is non-verbal. In the dream, he was talking non-stop and very clearly but…
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Diary or Journal
I recommend keeping a journal or diary about your LO and yourself as time passes. Just brief notes every day or week to describe any changes in your LO and how you are doing as a caregiver. Challenges and successes. I have since 2015 and have found it useful. In a practical vein, it is useful when talking to doctors. It is…
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start meds?
Friends ask if my DH is on meds for his dementia. He isn't. I have many reasons. I don't think they are very effective, I worry about side effects, I worry about getting him to take them daily, etc. I feel judgement from those that ask. Should I reconsider? Namenda? Aricept? Anyone have experience- positive or negative-…
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This Dementia Life
This is how late stage six is playing out in our house. Three conversations that took place this week. One DW: Do you think you can get me a better job? (She retired years ago) Me: I might. Why do you want a better job? DW: So I can make more money. Me: Why do you want more money? DW: So I can eat. Me: Well, you eat now.…
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A site for you and your LO
If you're looking for nostalgia, this is one option. Scroll down, and you will see photos of a lot of things from when you were a kid. Your LO should enjoy it too, if he/she is not too far advanced with the disease. That should spark a little conversation. https://www.facebook.com/groups/goodoldday/
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easy shoes and easy belt
I'm sure some of you have figured this out already but I'm so happy I found these easy on shoes and belt,Kizk shoes....kizk.com I got sneakers for my husband. They have ties but don't need to be undone (unless they need to be tightened) and the heal pops up on its own after he slides his foot in. Took a few times for them…