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Case of House Cleaners Financially and Physically Abusing Elderlly Dementia Woman
Horrible case; the perpetrators went in as house cleaners and then took advantage stealing, decimating finances, putting house up for sale, withholding care to the woman with dementia, isolating her from family and friends . . . Certainly family was not looking, and there were no safeguards in place. All was preventable…
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My Experience Taking Care of My EOAD Husband
It's going on Year 6 of taking care of my 62 year old EOAD husband. He's now early stage 7 - he can still feed himself (finger foods only) and is still mobile although he walks at a very slow pace or stands in a certain area of our house for periods of time. Still knows who I am most of the time except when he's in his…
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confused(4)
My DH and I are planning on taking a trip to FL for April. We are going to an area we know and is not crowded. The condo is in a small complex and the beach is across the street We will go to the grocery store and maybe lunch or dinner at the restaurant down the beach (if not crowded) where we can sit outside. I feel…
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First Post, starting the journey
Hey everyone. Just joined. We're starting the journey officially now I guess. I had noticed behavior changes over the last 5 years or so and finally forced the issue to get her into the doctors office. My wife, who had a highly technical career in medical care, retired 4 years ago at 63, shortly after symptoms began.…
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30 day placement
My heart is breaking as he lays beside me in our bed sleeping for what could be the last time. Tomorrow I’m taking DH to a facility for a thirty day stay. It’s a necessary step in the event that he would eventually need to go on Medicaid, to establish a financial snapshot for division of assets. I also have been pushed to…
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Medical news today, not great
I'm not good at posting links, but the results of a monoclonal antibody trial (donanemab) in early Alz was published in today's New England Journal of Medicine, and an editorial. Like most trials so far, this showed statistical improvement, but it did not translate into any practical results. Takeaways: We're talking VERY…
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I am now taking the steps to bring in help
I have completed the paperwork to bring in some help. I suspect DH will be resistant. I have been paying close attention to how others have handled this, for example, tell DH the help is for me not him. I'll likely try to pass the help off as a housekeeper at first. I am not optimistic that the transition will be smooth.…
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I never heard of a medical care spam call
Well, it happened. But I didn't know it until today. As some of you know, I have been fighting hypo glycemia. About a week ago I received a call from "Ultrasound of pancreas", from Chattanooga, TN. They made me believe they got my name and number from my doctor. They wanted me to make an appointment for an ultrasound. I…
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Overwhelmed(4)
I 'thought' I was handling this well. I realize I'm not at all. I am so overwhelmed. Answering the same question and being asked the same question within minutes and trying my best to answer it the same way as I did the first time. Doing things around the house and agreeing when my DH says he did it. Feeling so horrible…
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DH says he is content
I have been struggling to get DH to do the exercises his physical therapist wants him to do at home, to go fishing his now former passion, to go for a walk, to be accepting of the aide 4 hours a week. He is not rude, just totally uninterested. So I asked him if he is content to sit in his lazy boy chair and watch tv or do…
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Citalopram
My DH's doctor is subscribing Citalopram to lessen his moodiness and agitation. Do any of you have experience with this drug? I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly of this drug. Thanks!
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CNA broke her foot....a rant
My wonderful, experienced and caring CNA broke her foot over the weekend and won't be able to care for DH until the boot is removed. I'm hopeful but also doubtful that she'll be returning. Until the agency can assign a permanent CNA for Monday through Friday's 3 hours, DH will have temporary CNA's who may/may not have been…
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Alz ?
DH was diagnosed in March 2017 with EOAD. Our new Family Physician made this diagnosis off an MRI and notes from past visits to our retired Family Physician and psych evaluations. Our previous family physician said it was "normal signs of aging." Our new physician said, "this is not normal signs of aging." Our world…
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Off topic: A really good Sound of Music on YouTube
In noodling around on YouTube recently, I stumbled on this unfamiliar and really good "semi-staged" 2006 version of The Sound of Music, produced at the Hollywood Bowl with John Mauceri as musical conductor ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIDvM3HPJQM&t=7839s). I think I like this one better than any other: the original…
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The hard lessons of EOAD Alzheimer's caretaking
I know that my road has been softer than many Alzheimer's caretakers. My health is reasonably good, money is a minor issue and DW has never had a personality change to nasty or difficult. I may have had no shoes but I have met the people here who had no feet But here is some accumulated "experience" of 11 years on this…
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Just need to talk to my friends (145)
Hi, I waited five minutes to write a post on our thread and still didn't get on so thought it might be because it had gotten so long. I remember years ago it would get up to page 17. Judith, how lucky was it that the deposition was cancelled and Dick wasn't there. That was an awful day in Oklahoma for sure. Did your…
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If your LO doesn't know who you are
This video might help. When someone with dementia forgets who you are
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Irrational fears and panic
My husband who's always been somewhat of a hypochondriac now seems to be inordinately focused on his various health issues. He constantly loops a circuit of worst case scenarios - after self diagnosing from the internet he's convinced he needs foot or lymphatic surgeries or has testicular cancer. He'll wake me in the…
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I could use a little help figuring things out
I haven’t been on for a long while. My DH has been doing well overall for a few years. Gradually things have changed and I do more and I have gotten used to those changes. His memory isn’t as good as it used to be but sometimes he will surprise me. He is 77, I am 64. We had not seen our daughter in 18 months and took a…
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What constitutes ‘acceptance’?
We all are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five-stage model for grieving (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). And we know from the work of psychologists like Pauline Boss that we caregivers for PWD’s experience ‘ambiguous loss,’ which entails grieving when our LO is still alive. I have started reading…
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Marital status changes
There are times when my wife (stage 5) knows that I am her husband, most of the time she doesn't. Sometimes she believes me when I tell her we that are married to each other, sometimes she doesn't. At times she thinks that she has never been married. Lately, she sometimes thinks she is married; just not to me. I'm not…
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Memory care cameras legal?
Does anyone with a significant other in memory care have a camera set up in their loved one’s room to oversee what really goes on? It seems that it would go a long way in preventing neglect and abuse and increasing accountability. Certain daycares and preschools facilitate this. If okay for the very young, why not for the…
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A busy day, but a rant regardless
This may be my only post today. We've been banking at Chase for more than 30 years, but we're getting away from them. They didn't like our POA, while others have told me how great it was written. And I even used it to buy another home, with no problem. So I'm going with another bank who has no problem at all with it. One…
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I thought it would be fun, but it was not..whats wrong with me?
Its rainy today. I thought it would be fun to take a look of some of the fancy hats that were worn at the Kentucky Derby, so I Googled it. The hats were amazing, some fancy, some classic, some funny, some very intricate. The gentlemen at the Derby wore outlandish suits. There were several pictures of couples that…
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body jerking while sleeping
My DH has started having jerking motions with his arms, hands, legs, head, or body while sleeping, not all at the same time but for about 3 to 4 hours some part of his body is moving. Some are minor but some are pretty strong. If his arm is around me and his arm jerks, sometimes it will have enough force for me to be glad…
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Respite stay
In few days, my partner will spend 19 days in a memory care. I am not sure that I use the right word for you. It’s an institution where they only have people suffering from dementia. He will obviously be the youngest, and by many years. For this decision I have been assisted by a psychologist who discussed with him and by…
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guzzling drinks should I be worried
Hi, DH has started to drink everything right down. Even coffee. Should I be worried about to much liquid at once?
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Sleeping together
I know this issue has been touched on, both directions, but I'm curious. How long did you stay sleeping with your affected spouse? All the way until they went to memory care? I ask because as I'm outfitting my office I'm wondering if I should put a futon in there or something, or if it's reasonable to consider staying in…
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Early Onset Alzheimer’s Neurologist in NYC
Hi everybody: Been getting really frustrated since my MCI diagnosis that even in Manhattan I’m having a tough time finding a neurologist who specializes in Alzheimer’s, is willing to order PET scans, CSF and genetic tests and doesn’t turn away patients below 55. I’m 48 and am having a tough time dealing with the “we can’t…
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Why do I torture myself with expectations of my DH
I am a little frazzled this morning. DH is behaving like a toddler, except when he is not. As I have read it here so many times, I was trying to participate in a Zoom call and DH suddenly became very needy. * Prior to the call, I reminded him that I would be on a 30 minute call at 8am. * I had my earbuds in while on the…