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Me time in the morning
For 50 years DH enjoyed having his morning cup of coffee in the den watching the news. I enjoyed my time in the kitchen having my cup waking up straightening up! More and more he has been in the kitchen sitting in my chair watching every move I make. I understand why but it’s driving me crazy! I miss “my morning” time! We…
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Costs of early to middle stage care
I am looking at purchasing some long term care coverage. One that I like starts benefits when I can't do two of the six activities of daily living (ADLs), like dressing, hygiene and eating. Others start benefits EITHER for that, or for having cognitive impairment. I assume that there are circumstances in which I could have…
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Wonders of cognition
Yesterday my husband spelled his first name incorrectly on a coloring page, but an hour later while outdoors on a walk, he heard a motorcycle roaring and exclaimed, “Did you hear that motorcycle in this cold weather”! A compound thought! He has a South African aide with an accent who says his name over and over when she…
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I need help
my husband will not shower anymore. I have to learn not to ask him anymore because it’s wearing me out. Shaving too although eventually he does shave. He’s sleeping until 2 pm. I wish he were ready for memory care meaning he will refuse to go. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s wearing me out. I think I’ll get in touch…
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Happy Friday!
Happy Friday to all the spouse and partner caregivers! Do something nice for yourself this weekend, however small! Sending love & hugs!
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Facebook?
DH is at a point where technology is meaningless. He uses neither phone nor tv remote. The computer and ipad have been ignored for a year. I have solved the problem of his phone and email messages, but what do I do with his Facebook account? He recently had a birthday and people were posting birthday wishes to him. I…
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[mouth hanging open]
Just had a phone conversation with my DH’s stepmom. She asked very specifically how I was doing, and then filled me in on what she was doing. Toward the end of the call, she finally asked how my DH, her stepson, was doing, but prefaced her question with, “but just a little bit; I don’t want to be sad.” I was flummoxed. As…
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Visiting DON'T
I went to visit my dh yesterday, as I usually do on Sundays, but this time when we got to the exit door there was traffic. I waited for the person to finish coming in and for the door to lock before I entered the code and gave my dh "last hug" as I usually do. Just then several people arrived to come in so I slipped out,…
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Pulling the trigger on memory care
I am currently contemplating placing my DW into memory care. My original plan was to care for her at home until she died. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed and my health is beginning to suffer. Of course, I have all the conflicted feelings (guilt, feeling like I am abandoning her, etc). What pushed you over the edge and…
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Let me whine.
Seriously feeling sorry for myself today. Please understand I love DH. What he's going through is worse than what I am. BUT… I'm still feeling sorry for myself. This disease goes on FOREVER. Symptoms first showed up 16+ years ago. When I was barely into my 40s (DH was about 45) and still a stay at home mom. I went back to…
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Managing Work and Caregiving
I am struggling with how to juggle both a full time job and caregiving. My DH was dignosed with Alzheimer's at 60…4 years later and I am thinking it is time to leave work and stay home full time with him as I am worried about his recent decline. Also, thinking I need to sell our home to fund his care…so much anxiety over…
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Introduction- looking for advice
Hello everyone - I am new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself. I have been married to my DH for 28 years and have recently become very concerned about him. I feel that he may have some form of dementia - but it has not yet been diagnosed. He blames his symptoms on stress at work, but I disagree. I feel the stress…
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The other shoe has dropped
Well the inevitable happened this afternoon, she took another bad fall and has a spiral fracture of her right proximal humerus (dominant arm of course). We are in the ER and awaiting transfer to inpatient hospice, this is going to require a morphine drip and pray that it’s quick from here. There won’t be any coming back…
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Get me through this day!
Just venting here: The windows in our home are over 40 years old. The seals are broken on some, and others actually whistle from the draft. So after much procrastination, I decided to have them replaced. I figured they would send a couple of guys, and they would make their way through the house one room at a time and I…
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Not liking my feelings
Losing my empathy. I’m finding everything my DH does is irritating me! I can’t stand him not showering, wearing the same clothes for days on end - even sleeping in them, his constant watching my every move, lack of help with the smallest of tasks. He won’t go out unless he’s with me to provide entertainment. I actually…
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Just sad! Rant.
I am sad just plain sad. 10 years into this disease with my DH. No real end in sight. Days become weeks, week become years and the beat goes on! My DH is progressing toward his transition and I am wondering what the heck is next for me. Today is rough. I can't stop crying. I just want to turn back the clock. The past…
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Suggestions please
My DH was diagnosed a few months ago with younger onset and we're both struggling with how to process it and move forward. Even though we've been pushing for the diagnosis for several years it's still turned our world upside down. We're in our 40's with kids and I'm just not sure how to navigate or handle everything or…
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another memory care question
I've been looking at memory care facilities, most of which are owned by corporations, but a few are privately owned. (I'm not looking at the ten person homes yet—he needs more stimulation than they offer). I check my state health department website for complaints and citations for each one I visit. What I have found is…
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Vascular Dementia(10)
My DH was recently diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is currently exhibiting memory problems, confusion, frustration/aggravation. For example, he will ask me 4-5 times a day what we are having for dinner - even though he took it out. He asks the day of the week, the month even though he can look for it on his…
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For Older Unmarried Couples, Caregiving Obligations Can Be Murky
Gifted link from the NYT. An article about caregiving issues specific to older unmarried couples. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/10/health/elderly-unmarried-couples-caregiving.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ZE4.JvyT.QUUSabGS4hNM&smid=url-share
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Donepezil and Memantine-Extreme Side Effects
Hello Everyone! This is time on the site. My DH was officially diagnosed with VD about eight months ago. But because my mom also had dementia, I knew three years ago that something was wrong. His doctor didn't listen to me, and not until he had three mini strokes, and carotid artery operated on did anyone start listening…
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Increased Zoloft from 50 mg to 100mg
Thinking of increasing my DH Zoloft to 100. At times I see more anxiety in him. I am a little hesitant bc I don’t want to overdo the medication. Can anyone tell me if they see improvement after increased, or side effects?
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Key lime dessert
DW is on hospice She can only eat food of a pudding consistency I make key lime pie filling for DW in little aluminum cupcake cups. It is just egg yolks condensed milk and lime juice I add green food coloring since that helps me mix it thoroughly. I use aluminum cups with lids since i take 4 at a time to the memory care 1…
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A good man with Alzheimers
I was called today by my husband’s memory care administrator to tell me that my husband was a hero. After dinner yesterday he witnessed a fellow resident inappropriately touch another who was in a wheel chair. He stood up and confronted the offender and loudly said, “Stop it. Don’t do that”! This gained the attention of an…
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Voting
This has been a subject of discussion in my support group recently. One man told us that he voted on behalf of his wife because he knows how she would vote if she could. She's currently on hospice, she cannot walk, talk or feed herself. She certainly can't sign her name. He admitted that he forged her signature. I told him…
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New to all this
My husband was officially diagnosed with alzheimer's 3 weeks ago, in the early stages of this. I have bounced back and forth between denial, anger, tears and fear for what our life will be and for how long. I'm not sure what to do, what the steps are to help him and myself manage this. He has problems finding the words to…
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Any Advice?
My DW is in stage 5+-, with anosgnosia and increasing aphasia. Other than when I can offer entertainment, projects, walks, outings, etc she spends a lot of her time either sitting in front of the TV, puttering in the yard, or walking the dog. She is often depressed and constantly complains that she has "nothing" going on…
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Looking for in person communication with spouses of the afflicted
Hello; I'm Gerry and I'm attempting to locate in person support groups within the Roanoke, Virginia area. Any ideas for me? Thank You!
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I desperately need help
My husband has Alzheimer’s, I work 40 hours a week, I’ve called everyone I can think of to sit with him , he wanders off from the house, has anyone have a solution, He won’t do daycare and I’m trying my best to keep him out of a nursing home, I have no one to rely on, feels like I’m losing my mind