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Memory care- when
I’m interested in what criteria you have used to determine that it is time for memory care placement? My original plan was to keep him to the end if possible. But know I just don’t know. I don’t know how long I can deal with walking on eggshells, the agitation, verbal abuse when I try to keep him out of trouble, driving…
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Recognizing skill losses
My husband has been a master craftsman and woodworker for decades. These last few months he’s lost a great deal of his skills. Today he tried to get the square footage of our kitchen and couldn’t do it. It hit him hard. He’s still able to recognize that he can’t do something any longer. It’s so emasculating for him. I hate…
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Working and caring for spouse with AD
Last February, I abruptly had to leave my job to care full Time for DH. I thought it would be six months to get him through cancer treatment and then place in memory care. Almost a year later, still caring for him full time at home but am trying to find a part time position. We do not have children yo help us out. Any…
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Hallucinations
I am caregiver for my husband, second time for me, late husband died from ALZ in 2000. My husband has notions that I am having affairs with different men, I am not, and he sees one on our church website services. I have this sorta under control but he think that just because I don't want to have sexual relations every…
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DW very lethargic today
Last night about two am I took her to the bathroom, then cleaned and changed her. She was a bit wound up after and wouldn't go back to bed until she finally fell asleep on a recliner. It's now after 12p and she still hasn't moved. Somewhat incoherent, more so than usual, and seemingly lethargic. Another UTI perhaps or…
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Take your party elsewhere redirect
We had a somewhat normal day under the circumstances. A few trip to take my spouse ‘home’. Ran a couple of errands, as we do to help the day go by. Pre-Dinner trip was to daughters farm, where she got to visit with daughter and granddaughter. Made two post-dinner trips. The last one after a quiet discussion in our bedroom…
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Curious About Seroquel
My DH has been on Seroquel 50mg 2 weeks now and I’ve noticed he doesn’t get as agitated. He still has delusions, especially not recognizing me on & off during the day and all the way till bedtime. Has anyone had experience with this medication where the delusions totally disappear the longer you take it or am I hoping for…
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Bitterness Toward Family
My wife has now been in memory care for about a month. She seems to be doing pretty well but is bitter toward me her husband and to a lesser extent our daughter. We've been married for 61 years but when I last saw her she said she hadn't seen me for twenty years and that I should stop playing games. It's gotten to the…
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Post by glajha from the new caregivers group
glajha She/her/hers / Ella Member Posts: 1 New 3:16PM edited 3:22PM My husband is in the middle stages of Alzheimers. Is there one person, a doctor or someone else skilled specifically in care of Alzheimer's patients, who could help me map out daily caregiving and future caregiving? I try to use the internet for answers…
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Calling my DH at MCF - heartbreaking
To recap: I had to immediately place my DH in MCF Dec 5th because of my devastating diagnosis of a rare aggressive form of breast cancer that I needed immediate aggressive treatment for. I have only been able to visit him once on Christmas Day due to my low immune system from chemo. I call him and we can't carry on a…
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Take me Home
I know many of you hear this on a regular basis - my DH is fixated on this over the past few days more than usual. Usually I can just say "we are home" he goes and looks outside recognizes the house and comes back in. Not so much this morning. We are in MN and that was what it was all about this morning - having to "go…
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Bad day - just a vent
Today started with the discovery of a mess in the bathroom. My poor husband had accident and tried to clean it up, gave up and got back in bed. I apparently slept through it. So, after I cleaned the bathroom, showered him, and stripped the bed, I had him calmly eating breakfast. His aide arrived and things were going…
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Wife using excuse of not feeling well
My DW routinely uses the excuse that she is not feeling well to avoid leaving the house, following through on plans, or doing anything other than watching television. The “illnesses” are always something like a head cold (which she shows no symptoms of), or similar minor conditions. Obviously she is using the faux…
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New
Hi All- Just found this site and wanting to learn. Wife was practicing Endocrinologist diagnosed in april 2023. Lost all income and moved to another state to be closer to family. She is only 57. We were not ready for this-- Financially or emotionally. Finally able to find a house so settling in, but just overwhelmed with…
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Has anyone come up with why they HATE to bath ???
Why is showing or bathing such an issue with this illness. I’m not there yet but not looking forward to that scenario.
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 1/15/24
OUR HOPE IS GOD’S UNFAILING LOVE Psalm 147:5 New Living Translation 5 How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension! 11 No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love. When the winds of sickness, stress, anger and fear are strong and…
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Young wife won't get testing ever
My wife and I are 51-years-old. Our 29-year relationship went from perfect to impossible over the last 3 years. I suspect based on 9 of 10 signs that my wife has MCI or Alzheimer's but she says the examples are trivial and coincidental at best. Recently she has proclaimed that she will never get tested because it would not…
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Glad to have found this space
My mom is a PWD and her situation is somewhat complicated by the fact she has osteoporosis. It has been a crazy roller coaster over the last 18 months or so. I lived about 400 miles away but visited twice a year and talked to Mom on the phone every week. She had been having a few noticeable memory issues but we just…
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personal training
DW goes to personal training once a week. The PT is aware of DW's dementia. The PT is concerned with DW's range of motion, balance, flexibility, posture, not strength, and directs DW's exercising accordingly. The problem: DW comes home and complains bitterly that the PT doesn't make her work hard enough. She doesn't sweat,…
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Here’s to a better year
Well it’s been awhile since I have posted. It has been foggy and grey since the beginning of December, my SAD is triggered. However, if it was sunny, I would feel disoriented as well. I am slowly coming up for air, going out and helping my mother a lot. I suddenly remember that he is gone, then the grief sets in. However,…
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Elder Care Consult
I have a 15 min consult scheduled for Monday with an CELA and then we will do an in person one. My question is, should I include my DH in on either one? I don’t know what stage he is, but he is capable of a lot of things. I wouldn’t solely trust him with any decisions but I feel I still need to include him on somethings.…
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Self Care Resource - Adult Coloring Pages
Forum mates - I am posting this here as well as the Caregiver's forum, in case you can use it. Linking the post and coloring pages resource below. Have fun if you choose to use any! (Free)
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Activities
My DW has moderate Alz. Are there any games that you have found to be enjoyable? Thanks
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GPS Tracking
Hello, I am new to this group, my DH diagnose with Alzheimer six year ago. He dose not like to stay home he want to be outside all the time. I am worried he will sneak out at night. Do you know what the best tracking device? I am looking for something can wear all the time like wrist ban. Thank you
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Huge weight off my mind!!!
Today I sold my wife’s car. This has been her biggest issue when she was told last year NO driving. Wife has beautiful 2007 Mercedes that was her pride and joy. Worked hard for it leased first 3 yrs then purchased. She loves that car.i would get rid of it has felt would upset her, but she’s become very money spending…
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What could this be?
It all started last friday with a sore throat and run down feeling, not much in the way of fever but persistant excessive coughing day and night. I've been trying to manage my DW all week who is dbl incontinent. I don't feel like I have the flu but just a chest cold. Evey cold seems to get me in the chest and I cough for…
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Husband does not recognize me
My husband does not recognize me as his wife. This started gradually and he would recover from it, but this last time has been three days. He doesn’t know where she went and doesn’t know who I am. How do I communicate with him? Others tell him I am his wife but he says no.
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plan B options
I've been researching memory care facilities in my area as part of my plan B and came across something new: a 2-bedroom unit within a larger memory care complex that accommodates the healthy spouse, (basically I would live there too). At first, I thought it sounded a bit strange, but, it might actually be a good option. It…
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Toilet hygiene
My DH sometimes had soiled pant or sheets at night, as a result he started to use depends disposable pull ups at night. He gets confused and puts them in the wash or hides theme!The worse problem is that he is not cleaning himself properly after pooping so disposable are dirty! Any ideas how to get around that problem? I…
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Ashamed
Gaahhh. I got into a fight with my DW yesterday. What in the world is wrong with me? I haven’t argued with her in years. It’s been 3 years of this, I know her brain is not functioning right and yet there I was, acting like she was my DW with nothing going wrong with her. Can I still possibly be in denial? Am I losing my…