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Finding something for her to do
Lori is 69 years old 5ft tall 110lbs a very healthy women other than the Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed six years ago, now she has no memory, she can't read or write or watch any programming on TV or listen to books. She has a hard time with simple directions and her brain does not recognize or identify simple objects like…
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Wife won't let others know
My wife tells me not to tell anyone that she has Alzheimer's. Her mother had it for decades and told everyone. They were very sympathetic. How do I deal with this?
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Merry Christmas
Wishing all of you a Merry and Blessed Christmas Day. I know things may not seem very merry right now but I hope that each of us can find something to be grateful for today and know that you are blessed and loved. For me, I am grateful that my DH is being well taken care of in MC today even though I can't be with him due…
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Update on my mom
Hi All, I found a home in Kissimmee Florida that we can buy. Multiple homes are affordable there. Much better than Miami Beach, in many ways, but most poignantly: more affordable. Right now, we live in neighboring apartments. It works well because she and I are very close, but we have our own spaces. Also, my apartment has…
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It's been years since I've gone anywhere.
I haven't left the property in four years. I work night shifts doing chores such as feeding the farm animals. Always waiting for the cover of darkness, and have avoided daytime interactions with everyone for two and a half years. These sacrifices are what we make for our ungrateful dementia family members we care for.
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Shared Roons
My preferred memory care only has shared rooms. This memory care chain says that this is intentional and that research indicates that roommates are good for the brain health of someone with dementia. They say they match people up in a thoughtful way. Does anyone have experience with shared rooms? Do roommates really help…
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Almost 4 weeks and Christmas
Is there anyone else here just trying to make it through Christmas? I will be so glad when Saturday gets here and the second of two celebrations is done. It’s almost 4 weeks since Mom passed. Every day I made a list of what to do and I might get 1/3rd of it done. November was spent watching Mom pass so I was way behind on…
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Delusion medication
My wife has had delusions for over a year, but I have been able to deal with them, but now she is in Memory care. I see her every day. Her delusions were getting worse and she thought one of the other residents was trying to kill her. She was scared so we started her on some medication and now she is noticeably weaker and…
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Mom's ALZ has dropped a level
Hi All, Over the past few weeks we are seeing a drop in her abilities. Mom lives in Assisted Living which is great. We have watched her cognitive ability drop from time to time and most recently about a month ago she started having hallucinations (thinks she is being held somewhere then realizes she is in her bathroom).…
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It’s not all black-and-white
We are still in the early stage of all this. When I give clear instructions that he seems to understand I go over it again, but then when he acts on it he either has forgotten the instructions or he just determines to do his own thing. So the next day, we had somewhere to go. I gave him clearance instructions, but I didn’t…
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24 hours of crazy
My husband has had a slow progression of Alzheimer's. Normal behaviors currently are frequent repeating the same questions, excessive sleeping, gets angry if I want him to do something like take a shower or brush his teeth. a day ago, out of no where…his speech was all jumbled, he was saying crazy things, didn't think he…
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Thinking of you
The holidays can be so hard. Thinking of you no matter what stage you’re in.
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Apparently dementia can cause Grinchiness
DH took down the Christmas tree I put up last week while I was in the shower. He had been complaining about it being up. He took it off the table and put it by the back door. It was a small fake tree. I am so thankful that none of our beautiful ornaments were broken. I put the tree away but left some ornaments out and hung…
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Alzheimer’s with infidelity delusions
My DH has ongoing infidelity delusions. There are so many stories he comes up with of me being unfaithful I feel they are graphic and they are intensifying. Stories are of me being unfaithful with coworkers, contractors, neighbors, and even participating in a group. He claims I have been unfaithful our entire marriage…
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NYT: A Woman with a Rare Genetic Mutation ... (FTD)
From the NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/22/health/frontotemporal-dementia-genetic-mutation-linde-jacobs.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jU4.Pogt.lww3UxG0uYFK&smid=url-share https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/22/health/frontotemporal-dementia-genetic-mutation-linde-jacobs.html
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I Hate Christmas
My OH goes to the Alzheimer’s Activity Center five days a week seven hours a day . Naturally, this gives me a big break to do all the chores without having to look over my shoulder to see what my OH is up to…. folding toilet paper , rearranging her closet etc Unfortunately for me, the Center will be closing for almost 2…
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Breaking Appliances
My father has developed a tendency to break appliances in our home, adding a new layer of complexity to our responsibilities. Over time, he has managed to break the washing machine, dryer, oven, and now the refrigerator, which is barely functioning due to the damage. We have been left to find alternative solutions for…
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Lack of Showering
Our father has been going for extended periods without showering or changing his clothes (40 days at a time), which has led to skin lesions. He has incontinence-related issues too. These challenges can be difficult to address, especially when faced with the limitations set by authorities who claim our father has…
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Vulgar language around kids
my mom (66 years young) is in the late stages. I have a 3 year old son who adores her but in the last few months she’s been very aggressive and mean. She’s begun to swear a lot, using really foul language, saying the worst things imaginable in front of my son. I don’t know what to do. He’s old enough to catch on, but too…
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Vermin Rat and Mouse Problem
About four years ago California's Governor Newsom banned rat and mouse poison replacing it with birth control in an effort to save the mountain lions and wildlife. Unfortunately this has created an increasing epidemic of vermin. The entire neighborhood as well as others I speak with locally are suffering. This is…
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To all caregivers Merry Christmas....
Oh how the holidays have changed. Blessed are the caregivers like me.
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Holes in the walls
Our father has been cutting out holes in the walls, creating a significant challenge for my sister and I. We have so many repairs to do after he dies. We have found that taking away tools does not deter him from causing damage, as he resorts to using alternative objects, such as metal rods or other items he can find in the…
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Our father used to kill animals, now he watches animal videos.
Our father has a violent aversion to animals and is aggressive towards them. He has a history of killing chickens, dogs, cats, and hates bird feeders. We've taken steps to try and distance him from wildlife and pets. We were able to rehome some of them, but after losing lives. Initially, he was secretive about his actions,…
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Lack of showering
Our father has been going for extended periods (40 days at a time) without showering or changing his clothes, which has led to skin lesions. He also has incontinence issues on top of it. We are limited in our ability to intervene due to legal restrictions making these challenges difficult to address, especially when faced…
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On-going hygiene issues
My DH won't shower unless he had to go somewhere which is now once every week to ten days. I can try all the tricks I've read about setting up the bathroom or offering to help and it doesn't make a difference. He doesn't want to go out to eat, or shop, or for a drive so bribing him with those events doesn't help. He may…
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Untreated Nurosyphilis Dementia
We've quickly realized the importance of connecting with others who understand what we're going through. We're currently caring for our father, who has been suffering from untreated Neurosyphilis, GPI, Tabes Dorsalis, and dementia for several years now. Despite our best efforts to convince him to seek treatment, he has…
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Memory Care and/or Assisted Living facilities in Seattle?
Hi, I am currently in the weeds of looking at memory care facilities in the Seattle area for my father (has had Alzheimers for approx 10 years, mid stage, but moving more towards later stage). Additionally his wife (current caregiver) was also recently diagnosed with early dementia. Ideally I would love to find a place for…
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I have Covid and DH in MC is on the verge of pneumonia
What a way to end the year! I came down with Covid this week and the Dr. prescribed Paxlovid. Unfortunatley, I am having a reaction to it and have had to stop taking it. Meanwhile, DH has a deep cough and his lungs are filling up. The nurse said he is heading into pneumonia. His oxygen level is still good though so he is…
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When to seek hospice assessment?
Hi, My mother is my father main caregiver but I see her increasingly doing more than her body can handle. She is not getting enough sleep because he keeps her up at night. She has to hold him up, and now she's starting to feed him. My father is a different person he was in the Spring. Now he sleeps constantly and barely…
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Our Father is Obsessed with Turning Off the Utilities
One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving for a loved one with late-stage untreated Neurosyphilis dementia, GPI, and tabes dorsalis is managing their behavior and preventing them from causing harm to themselves or others. Recently, my father has developed a concerning preoccupation with utility services, such as…