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What to say before taking DH to a day care place for a first time visit.
Hi, I have a question about what to say to my DH before I take him to visit a day care facility tomorrow. I am still his full time care taker with occasional help with our adult children. I am thinking of starting him out one half day a week and going from there, depending on how he does. He will want to know where we are…
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Epitome of Grief
Flying home yesterday with my husband from a lovely last hurrah holiday at a beautiful resort visiting good friends, our son, and grandchildren; he assimilates easily back into his memory care facility as he just doesn’t know, but I’m inconsolably choked with tears . During this getaway, I looked straight into my husband’s…
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Bathroom issues
Maybe I’m in the dark about what to expect, but this evening my husband went to the bathroom, was in there a long time. I went in to see what he needed and there was a mess in the sink and on the toilet seat. I’m not sure what transpired when he was in there but I’m thinking I need to hang out outside the bathroom door…
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Help with fiblet - moving DW into MC
I am moving my DW into MC next week and I am trying to come up with a fiblet to tell her on move in day. My SIL suggested that I tell her that I need to go back to OH (we live in WI) to take care of my older sister for a time and that I found a place for her to stay while I am gone. I do think she will buy this fiblet but…
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New here / 1 month into caring for mom at home
Hello everyone, I am grateful this forum exists. I am 35 and my mom is 72, about to turn 73. I’m not sure which type of dementia she has, perhaps mixed, but she appears to be in the beginning side of severe dementia. It’s also worth mentioning we really didn’t have a relationship before I moved her to my city last year to…
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How to get over how mad dad was at me for moving him to ALF
My dad passed away two months ago. It came four months after I moved him and my mother to an ALF. Mom has moderate dementia. Dad had COPD and late-stage CHF when I moved them. It was clear to me in the few months prior to the move that dad had become too unwell to care for himself or mom appropriately. I did not know he…
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My watch over dad has ended and it feels so empty
My dad took his last breath in this life just yesterday. He was 89 years old. He and mom, who has dementia and is in memory care, were married 65 years. I moved both to an ALF about four months ago. I think my timing turned out to be just about right. I thought the world would look different without my dad in it, but it is…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 12/1/24
GOD IS WITH YOU AND ME Psalm 139:16-18 New International Version “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 12/1/24
GOD IS WITH YOU AND ME Psalm 139:16-18 New International Version “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—…
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Feeling hopeless & overwhelmed
Hi everyone, I’m new to this forum and I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. My family lives in Louisiana and have been struggling with my dad’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis since 2018. He’s now in stage 7, and at this point, he no longer recognizes my brother or me. The only person he seems to recognize…
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How do you 'unhear' the mean things that are said to you?
I live out of state and have been caring for my Mom from a distance since my stepfather moved out because he could not handle her dementia and refusal of getting medical care in June 2023. In April 2024, I moved her into MC as she was unable to live on her own and after 5 or 6 emergency trips to help ensure the house…
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Its Our Turn. Preparing to say farewell...
Unbelievably, though we knew it was coming in the not too distant future, DH is transitioning right before my eyes. He rallied in the last 2 weeks, and now suddenly we are walking through the steps for last day/s on this earth. I will let you know when I can. For now, I have been assured by hospice that he is in very good…
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It’s over
MIL died early this morning. At the moment I’m feeling profoundly relieved and grateful that her journey is done. I know there’s a host of emotions waiting for me but just now I’m going to enjoy a little peace. It’s early morning here and I’ll wait til family members are up to call them. But the funny thing is I wanted to…
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What to do? Mum has been diagnosed with Dimentia
Hi, I am based in Australia and my mum and dad are based in India. Mum has been diagnosed with Dimentia and she could not recognise me. Dad and her are now in care home in India, but for me it is very upsetting to accept that she cannot recognise me. My work is getting affected and I am now becoming very sad ☹️. I don’t…
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Memory care concerns
My mom has been in memory since 2022. She’s had a moderate decline since going in. Few issues but seems content. Went to visit her Tuesday. I got told the other night they saw blood in moms pull up. Maybe a uti. Head nurse calls me just now and says Dr sees red pimples on mom’s private and red lines and thinks squamous…
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Happy Thanksgiving
Thinking of the community here, both past and present, and wanted you all to know that I'm so very thankful for the opportunity to interact with you, and for the kindness that everyone meets when they share their journey here. This truly is one of the most reasoned, courteous, and helpful forums around.💖 Your person may…
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Driving
Hi all My OH is currently being assessed at a memory clinic. We have not had a formal diagnosis, we visited the memory clinic, late October, and this is the first time we have met the consultant, or in fact any fully qualified doctor, previously it was a junior doctor and an OT. I think based on my OH ACE III test score he…
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Newly diagnosed with Fahr’s Dementia
Hello all, I (59 female) am very happy to have found this group and hope to gain and give support. I was diagnosed with Fahr’s Dementia following a mental health crisis. My once stable anxiety and depression symptoms increased terribly which were accompanied by continued difficulty with my work (Speech Pathologist) and…
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Thanksgiving
Just wanted to say, all of you are on my list of what I am thankful for this year! I learn so much from your experiences and I love how supportive everyone is with others on similar journeys, even when we make different choices in our care for our loved ones. I wish peace for all on this holiday.
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I feel like I’m losing myself..
Hello everyone, I’m just seeking help. My father was diagnosed with unspecified dementia 5 years ago while I was in bootcamp. As of 2 ish years ago until current, he’s been severely violent towards my mother and my brother. He’s threatened to kill them, my mom was so scared she’d sleep in her car in the driveway. She…
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Terminal agitation or restlessness
Mom started this stage of the dying process yesterday . Made worse when she refused her Valium. She hasn’t yet started morphine because she doesn’t appear to be in pain. Neither does she have labored breathing even though we can’t keep her cannula in her nose. It was really bad yesterday and only a little better today with…
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Feeling Very Thankful
I just want to express my sincere appreciation to all of you who show up on this site. The shared experiences, rants and raves, insights, advice and love and shared vulnerabilities have made a real difference to me in how I’m able to navigate my day to day with my DW. Wishing You All the very best Thanksgiving possible.…
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Holidays without him.
Last year 11/23/23 was the last holiday I spent with my DH Lonny. I have no pictures of that day. Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with aggressive cancer & had no choice but to place him immediately in Memory Care. He spent Christmas alone there. It broke my heart in two. He passed August 12th and I am dreading the…
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Out of psych hospital
After a suicidal attempt and a month journey in a psych hospital, she will be released tomorrow ! The AL is taking her back in a more secure wing Don’t know what to expect .. she has been wanting to die for the last few months , begging , crying and when she finally met a doctor to discuss she just said it was no longer…
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How to help Grands understand??
My DH this afternoon just snapped and yelled at our grand-daughter for not speaking to him when she came in. Cussing and saying he was not taking that damn sh*t no more from her🤦♀️🤦♀️…. She is 12 and it really hurt her feelings and she didn't know what to do. I was a good buffer got him turned around and back in house. I…
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Feeling Very Alone
Hi everybody! I hope everyone is having a good day/night. I am 24 and the main care taker for my mom who is 59, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. The first year since her diagnoses had been pretty uneventful, no huge changes besides getting her disability approved. She had already stopped driving and working…
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Intentional bladder retention
Hello. Foster mom has some form(s) of dementia that is currently remains undiagnosed even though doctors are certain of it. .. Foster mom has been quite frequently in and out of emergency diagnosed mostly each time with an Uti. They give her antibiotics and send on her way. I live with her and everyday a large amount of…
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Blame Game
Is everything your fault? Always.
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Needing to find a home
First off, why is there no comprehensive place to help caregivers / family when it comes time to find a home for someone with ALZ? Every resource I've found tells me different and conflicting information. It's insane. Anyway, my mother is now MS, nearing LS faster than we thought. As much as I would prefer to not put her…
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This really set me back !!
my wife and trouble signing her name I think she had trouble with our last name. This really hit me. I guess more to come.