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How can I care for my mother on my own without losing myself?
My mother is 61 and has been diagnosed with dementia. I'm young - 33 and dating. I have a life to live but I am also the only person who can care for her. My father died 10 years ago and my living brother refuses to support her care as he "has done enough in this life" after my grandfather had dementia and father died of…
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Dad is closer to me now and in a memory care community - we are new to this
Hello dear community, I know that I am not alone. I think hearing from others on this journey will help me cope and understand that some of what I am going through with Dad is part of the disease process. My heart is breaking. So here I am seeking camaradarie and support. My Dad was living independently with an Alzheimer's…
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Refusing to spit
Hello all. I wanted to know if anyone is experiencing this and if you have found a remedy. My dear mother has moderate to severe Alzheimer's. She tends to hold saliva in her mouth and swish it around, refusing to spit it out. She's not rude, she will nod or say Mm hmm when I tell her to spit it out in the sink. Then she…
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Progression - coping with ongoing loss
Just a vent and an update. My mom is safe in a great MC. It costs a fortune and probably some of whatever inheritance I’d get but it’s worth it. I’m her sole caregiver. She’s doing well overall - still able to go out to dinner sometimes, still mostly knows me, still able to laugh - but her memory and adls and symptoms are…
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Can Seroquel cause cognitive decline?
My HWD's neurologist prescribed 50 mg of Seroquel at night to help calm down his aggression. He is also on Cimetadine for hyper sexuality. The aggressive behavior has calmed down a bit, but I also feel like he has declined cognitively. Is this what happens? I am much better able to handle him now, but he can't remember…
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My wife's kids live across the country.
So my wife has early onset Alzheimer's, and it's not getting any better. She was previously married and has 2 adult girls and an adult boy from that marriage. We live in NH, and her kids are in Va, Az, and IL. They are all aware of the situation, and they try to visit once a year. I appreciate that they make the effort to…
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Frustrated
Hello again everyone! This post is more of an update and a bit of a rant, I suppose. I have moved forward with signing a lease for AL for my dad, as the place I found is very nice and space goes quickly. I attempted to have a conversation with him about the move yesterday, and took him to see that it is not a nursing home,…
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My Sweetheart never stops surprising me!
whent to dinner with friends last night talking about our aches and pains so out of the blue she says “ I have dimentia and forget things” and then our friend says we all forget , I look at her and said that’s first time you’ve talked about it I’m proud of you. She smiled and we had dinner.
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I was wrong when i thought i have dementia....
Hi all, i posted yesterday that i am going to have some form of dementia, i was wrong. Today i went to my doctor, and he told me that i only have attention disorder. i am happy now. I was sad, but all sadness is gone.
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Trying to get diagnosis for resistant DH
This is my first post, though I’ve been lurking for a while. I have many questions, but right now I need advice on how to handle the portal message I am sending to our PCP prior to my 69 yo DH's appointment next week. First, some background: My DH is 69 and has been having noticeable issues for 3-4 years (noticeable to me,…
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Food Obsessions
My 90 YO mom with mixed dementia has become OCD for lack of a better descriptor about food expiration dates. I clearly write purchased and opened dates on everything with a sharpie but there still no trust and we waste a lot of money on food because she constantly throws it away when it’s perfectly fine She says it tastes…
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Obsessions
Hey dear people, again, new to this and can't imagine this journey that I'm on and how long it will last without losing my mind... I'm not being disrespectful, it's just where else can I voice my frustrations and worries~ so my DH seems to find a topic (finances, an old worry, etc.) and fret for hours on end, going into…
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Respite care
Hello, does anyone have any information regarding respite care for your loved ones while you go away on a vacation? My mother lives in Erie County near Buffalo, NY. I am getting no assistance from her insurance company who allegedly covers this type of care.
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Memory Care and Cancer Diagnosis?
Friends, I am about 3 months out from placing my husband with Alz in a memory care facility. We recently found out that he probably has a blood cancer and will have a bone marrow biopsy to determine type and prognosis. The oncologist said it could be 9 months to 8 years for the type he has (MDS). I am wondering if he will…
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Memory care facility. When is it time
I’m sure just about every one on here has either delt with this issue or will at some point but I’m beginning to do something I never thought I’d do. I’m considering a memory care facility for the future. My heart is breaking even thinking about it. I’m 62 and still work full time as an insurance broker. At times during…
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Always tired
hi everyone hope all doing well. Question my wife ,if you met her, is very hard to pin as having dimentia as she hinds well but it’s there. What I’m asking is she sleeps 8 hrs straight through nite but at times tired by 10am. Always tired by 4 pm. Anyone have this issue
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Anger and meanness in mom
I walked down this road 10 years ago with my daddy. It was so much fun I get a return trip with mom. Only he didn't get mean and treat me like the red headed step child. Today was bad. Really bad. She screamed and yelled and called me and my siblings names that would make a sailor blush. Luckily I don't live with her but…
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Traveling with AD, asking for help, lonely journey, how to cope?
Hi, I am new to this group. I am actively looking for help now. For the past 6 months, I have been struggling to care for my partner who is in moderate stage AD. Prior to that I was caring for her, but I was not so stressed about it. We are on a vacation now out of state after staying home for about one year, since the…
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New Diagnosis - Vascular dementia
Hello Everyone, Glad to have found this group. My spouse was recently diagnosed with vascular dementia. Can you suggest any resources or experiences? Thank you. Hope4Tomorrow
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Where to go from here?
I don't post often anymore for my own mental health. DW is her 4th year of late stage 7 14 years from diagnosis. She is 72 and in memory care since 2017. Cost is $150,000 a year. We have it due to a lifetime of hard professional work. Most folks don't and I know that. We just gave out the national award honoring DWs…
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Ambulance ride alone?
I've been thinking that another fall from a standing position is imminent with a serious injury. I hate those 1am calls that she fell out of bed again but what really concerns me is her falling standing up. If she breaks something or is seriously injured and an ambulance is called, she will be terrified being alone without…
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Significant Decline
In the past month, my DH has shockingly decline - confused most of the time, getting up at night and fully dressing, somedays not able to shower himself, fell once, lots of dozing during the day, language challenged and cannot follow a simple one-step request. I had a urine culture done yesterday and I am waiting for the…
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Caregivers....they are special
Whether you choose in-home or facility care, the caregivers are special people. They are there when you and your loved one need them. They earn every penny, or buck, and our most incredible, deepest thanks…..
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hallucination
Anyone know anything about hallucinations with dementia? Do they get worse?
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Bathroom Help
My husband had begun getting to the bathroom just in there and will urinate on the floor. His walking is bad so I bought a bedside commode, put puppy pads under it since he doesn't always hit the pot, sat it on a computer chair mat so he wouldn't hit the carpet and this morning he stood up, did not even get close to the…
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Medicare and caregiving
I thought someone else might have started a thread on this, but I don't see one. Evidently Medicare is ready to test the waters on finally helping.
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Long distance care
Hello Everyone, I am thankful there is a place for help. I lost my mom 14 years ago to this disease and know the stress first hand. Now, it is my father who lives in Florida and my sisters are both there. One lives on the same street not the other. My father's wife is in the hospital and was removed by her daughter's…
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Hoarding
My DW with Alzheimer's will go into any room and start picking up random stuff and walk around with them. She will then fuss with them and sometimes put them where I have to hunt for them. This can be frustrating if it happens to be a remote control, our check book, or my Iphone. Does anyone else have these issues?
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And so it goes…..
DH just asked me if I know where our daughter is. I told him yes, she lives in Colorado Springs. He then asked if she has a husband. I said yes his name is ….. and then he asked does she have any kids. I said yes but they are grown up now. Going, going, gone. And so it goes with dementia.😢
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Comic relief
Lately, MIL has been having pretty lucid conversations - she seems to be understanding a lot more. Even though she remains unclear about a lot of things (like where she is), she’s making so much sense all of a sudden that I’ve been second-guessing my decision to place her in MC last year. Until this happened - we spent 5…