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…of course she isn’t really there
You’ve heard of phantom limb syndrome, well I’m having phantom wife syndrome. A number of times a week I very briefly, just for a moment, experience a feeling that my DW is with me. She’s been in an MCF for over two years and the hospice nurse tells me they have just determined she is Stage 7f (on the Fisher scale), the…
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Tonight the sides close in
I struggle One footfall then the next Got to move forward as there is no choice Yes, I guess there is But that choice is not who I am But as I walk this path I will no longer be who I am When I was 14, Sister Mary Neri caught me reading Catch 22. She did not approve. So I read it twice and understood it as much as I was…
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Death of sibling
I thank you all for your responses. You certainly are a great group. Followup to my post. My sister-in -laws told my husband his brother had died. He was quiet and asked how. They told him his heart gave out. He said that's too bad. They also made arrangements for my husband to go early to say goodbye. It worked out well…
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CPAP machine
My husband has Alzheimer's and Vascular dementia. He uses a CPAP machine because he has severe sleep apnea. He is in a memory care facility and has now started hitting staff when they try and put the machine on him. The doctor's recommendation was to stop the using the machine because of his behavior. The facility was sent…
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PWD asks what are symptoms of dementia
PWD asks me what what are the symptoms of dementia. I was truthful, and PWD (with anosognosia and living at home) would say "Well, if one gets to that stage, one need to get placed into a facility". There was little realization that PWD already exhibits some of these symptoms. PWD probably has been thinking of the topic,…
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Mom is in psych hospital after suicide attempt
anybody had their person in a psych hospital ? How long did they stay , how does the evaluation take place ? We don’t have much information, Mom was admitted a week ago , after suicide attempt they don’t seem to do anything apart from monitoring her , and want to meet us in 10 days we are all (kids) at the end of our rope…
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Talking on the phone
My DW who has EOAD, has been talking on her phone to a lady that has a business selling clothing. Ally (the lady) streams her sales shows on Facebook. My DW is talking to her like she is on FaceTime. I’m hoping it’s ok that I just let her do this. Also she has bought so many items that I have locked her card. When she…
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How to Get Legal Affairs in Order When You're Broke
Hi everyone! As the title says, I'm broke lol (it's not actually funny but I have to laugh or I'll fall apart.) My mom (60) is definitely progressing, and I don't have any of her legal affairs in order. Currently my mom is being taken care of by 2 people in their mid 20's, so not a lot of stability here as neither of us…
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Loss of Spouse, and moving to AL advice needed
My mother passed away one month ago of cancer, my Dad has Alzheimer’s. He was there when she died at home. He knows she died but does not remember being there. It is so hard to watch be traumatized over and over again, although things are starting to become more about how long he has been alone than when she died. So some…
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Newly diagnosed parent (75) - recommended first steps?
Greetings, My 75 yo mother was just diagnosed with AD. Our next appointment with the cognitive neurologist is not until January. What does everyone recommend I do in the meantime? I have an appointment with a neuro-social worker this week, but I'm not sure what I should be asking them for help with. I would love to get the…
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Michael Ellenbogen's Observation from the Alzheimer's Association Conference
Michael wrote an article sharing his experiences and observations from last summer's Alzheimer's Association International Conference. He let me share his article with you. https://www.mathewsopenaccess.com/journals/neurology/abstract/aaic-2024-from-the-perspective-of-a-person-with-dementia
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Puzzling Symptom Improvement
DH is physically in Stage 7 ALZ and has been in hospice care for 11 months. He also has CHF and effects from a stroke in June 2023. The past 2-1/2 weeks have seen a major change for the better in his mental skills and alertness. Before, he often didn't know who I was, didn't speak beyond "Yeah" and "No", and slept about 20…
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BIGGEST FEAR, DW MC and what about the whole SEX in MC with others?
Help me navigate the negative thoughts I am feeling. Let me start by stating. I am feeling a tremendous amount of grief. The person in my wife’s very fragile frail body is not the woman I married. I must now consider placement In a memory care home, but I cannot shake this. I have been taking care of her 24/7 now for over…
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Short-term rehab wants DH out; Aetna Medicare Advantage could stop at any time?
My DH gets agitated and fell twice trying to get of the house - ended up in the hospital and the second time I said that I couldn't care for him at home. The hospital released him to rehab facility. Three days later, the rehab asked that he go somewhere else. I have been here from 10 am to 8 pm every day. He's told me that…
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Hospice medication changes
Mom has been on hospice for two weeks. She’s been extremely anxious. Hasn’t left her room much at the AL, had her meals brought to her room. The first week she kept accusing me of abandoning her to the hospice staff( I was there 5 times in 9 days). The second week she called me 3 times a day with the same questions: what…
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A lot of doubt and questions
Hi everyone, So I have been searching for a MC for my LO. I believe I found. They are a clean locked and local facility. A little higher priced then what I was budgeting for but seems worth it for the conscience of being close. I am worried how long money will last amongst that I am worried that it will be worse for my…
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New here and wondering what’s what .
Everything has looked like my wife has dementia but I don’t want to believe it . This mornings angry outbursts over nothing made me look on the internet for information and all the boxes got ticked . I know , I know - being a self styled internet doctor and making my own diagnosis is probably barking up the wrong tree but…
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Toilet Paper
I am used to my OH pulling out toilet paper ,neatly folding and then hiding it . Today was a first . She hid the toilet roll and holder . Looked in all her normal hiding places with no luck . When I went to put some laundry in her dresser , I found the toilet roll and holder neatly tucked in her night dress. Of course she…
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Transportation Services
Hello, I am looking for recommendations on transportation services in the East Metro of St. Paul Minnesota. thankyou!
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NY Times: When Dementia Changes a Loved One’s Personality
Link shared for 30 days. The article has many good observations such as "boredom can cause mood swings" https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/23/well/mind/caregivers-dementia-mood-changes-management.html?ogrp=ctr&unlocked_article_code=1.Vk4.cyQb.h1Cqo3bOKJ9O&smid=url-share
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Cognitive Stimulation webinar
From Michael Ellenbogen: Reminder : Registration is open for the National Alzheimer’s and Dementia Resource Center’s next webinar on August 27, 2024 from 2:00-3:00 p.m. ET, Cognitive Stimulation Therapy Programs: Directly Supporting People Living with Dementia. Additional information about the August 27th webinar and the…
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Feeling guilty
My DH husband and I have always been open with each other and he has been tested, but has not been officially diagnosed yet with dementia but all the signs are there. I feel guilty talking to our children about him behind his back, but I feel like they need to know what’s going on. They have seen some of the signs as well,…
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I have So Many Questions..
Hi My mom was recently diagnosed with Dementia. She has visual and auditory hallucinations. She is very suspicious of people and even think everyone is trying to kill her. We moved her from independent living to assisted living and she was not happy about it at all. We had to keep her safe and get her more help because she…
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Does speech therapy
I asked about occupational therapy, I should perhaps have asked about speech therapy. DH with ALZ most noticable problem is lost words.
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Still living on their own
My father (80) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year. He lives in an apartment with my 82 year old mother. My father is in great shape physically but not mentally. My mother is in terrible shape physically and not so great on the mental side either. Unfortunately they do NOT qualify for much assistance as they make $100…
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Oh Hello Alzheimer's book
Just wondering if anyone has read the book by Lisa Marshall about her caregiver journey. I just finished it and have a lot of conflicting thoughts. I did not want to put the book down but then did not want to finish reading it because I knew how it would end. Even reading her experience, I looked for ways to deny that my…
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Long term care
How have you handled the transition to a care facility? Mom has intermediate ALZ, and it is starting to progress rapidly. My dad has almost died 2 or 3 times this year due to the stress of being a caregiver. Right now mom is in a COA program, I do the cooking, laundry is done by my sister or me, and my siblings and I…
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How to handle critical relatives
I have a question that I'm sure has been covered before. How do you deal with relatives who don't help with care yet are full of advice and are somewhat critical if anything happens with your loved one. More specific my mother has a UTI and on her birthday my sister and my aunt asked when am I going to place my mother in a…
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Update on how to talk to Doctor in advance of DH appointment...
Hello all. Just an update on my saga about alerting DH's doc to issues before DH's doctor appointment. My solution this time was to book an appointment for myself with the same doctor, scheduling DH for the appointment directly after mine. I am also a patient of the doc and booked my appointment for medication management -…
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Selling my Dad's car without the Title in CA
We need to sell my dad's car, now that he is in an AL/ MC facility. I have the POA, but not able to find or access the Title ("Pink Slip" as we call it in CA). Any suggestions on how to do this through the DMV?