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Sad and scared
I am new here, and I's prefer to exist in denial but I know it's better to connect here. So here I go... My 75y.o. mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (early stage) January 2nd, 2025. I live 4 hours away which is close enough to be available and far enough away to make it complicated and difficult. My maternal…
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Hiring through Care.com
Hello - we are looking to hire someone in the immediate term through care.com until we can get mom's long-term plans settled. For those who use or have used care.com: What questions did you ask when interviewing candidates? What red flags should I be on the lookout for with candidates? Any watch-outs to be aware of when…
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Repetitive questions
How do you deal with the repetitive questions? My DH is driving me nuts. He will ask the same question 8 times or more in the course of 15 or 20 mins. Then later it will start all over. I know it is not his fault but my patience is wearing thin. I have my own health problems (Pancreatic cancer) which he is oblivious to( no…
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When to cancel the cell phone line
My DW is in stage 5. In the past few months, she has lost complete interest in even trying to use her cell phone. She has not gotten a meaningful call or text on her phone in months. I have been moving all her accounts to my phone number. Every month when I pay the cell phone bill it makes me feel financially stupid. The…
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Advice for surgery?
Hi - it’s been a minute since I’ve posted. I hope everyone is doing as well as they can. I’m here because I could use a little advice. I’m going to be having surgery later in the spring. There is a 4-6 week recovery period, including up to 2 weeks of bed rest. My husband is well cared for in his facility. What I’m trying…
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Tiempo disponible
Soy la unica a cargo del cuidado de mi papa. Estoy cansada, agotada y de muy mal humor. La enfermedad de mi papa se llevo mi vida social, y los pocos amigos que tenia. El vive conmigo y lo cuido de dia y de noche. Se que no soy la unica pasando por esto. Que hacen para tener paciencia?
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Retirement
Well. I worked full-time during these last six+ years of solo caregiving as my DW has progressed to now Stage 5. I’ve been losing my mojo every year of this, with this past year ending up with me completely burnt out. I am lucky, my employer is a Family Medical Leave Act employer,, so I’ve taken the last 1.5 months off on…
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Our parents both have dementia & anxiety
Dad is 85 and has Alzheimer’s and dementia. Mom is 80 and has dementia and aphasia. They are living in their apartment with aides providing care 11am-8pm 7 days a week. Their conditions are advancing and soon we will have to rethink their care. Dad is getting agitated and verbally abusive to mom, which of course gets her…
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Feeling So Sad
what do you do when sadness overtakes you. Today coming home in the car with my DH of 54 years he asked who are you?
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Unbiased input needed - dementia parent with a questionable boyfriend
Mom was diagnosed a little over a year and a half ago with dementia and stage 4 kidney disease. There's a boyfriend in the picture who does not live with her - she's still living alone. There's strong feelings that he's not sticking around for the right reasons. Today, he inquired again about being reimbursed for doing…
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need help
my mom has dementia since 2016 for the past 2 months she has been declining fast. Now she can't stay still and walks out of the house. WHat medications is everyone using to keep her calm.
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Falling apart
It feels like everything is just falling to pieces. I feel like my family is imploding and no matter how hard I try to hold everyone together we're all falling apart in our own self destructive ways. We're in our 40's and DH has EO still in early stages. We got the diagnosis about a year ago and he's still (understandably)…
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Increasing comfort meds for mom, caring for her in my home
Hello to the rest of the incredible caregivers here - My mom is 73 with dementia (possibly Fahr’s Disease), and moved in with my husband and I in October after a series of facility failures. We began hospice in late January after home health could no longer help and I ran into safety issues trying to shower her due to her…
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Doubting my caregiving
posted tonight about how DH just won’t stay away from me with his awful cold - not Covid yay! Now have a sore throat headache sneezing and cannot take anything. I asked him why he can’t just stay upstairs so I don’t get sick and surprise he said he doesn’t want to. I am really feeling that I am not the best caregiver for…
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I'm ready for adult day care
I have concluded that I have to have help with this. My wife has stage 5 AD and my 50 year old son has a stew of cognitive disorders, and I am the caretaker for both. He lives in an RCF and she lives with me. Taking the two of them anywhere is very stressful for me and them, because they trigger each other. DW needs 24/7…
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Preventing her from driving is worth it, right??
Oh man. We had several good weeks with my mom but for the past two weeks or so, she's been very upset! She (at one point) knew that she could not drive. And we have let her know that she failed the cognitive test which means she'll never legally drive again. But she is ADAMANT that she wants her keys to her car. And that…
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Defusing unkind behavior
My mom has Alzheimer’s my father is her caregiver. They live in DE, I am in NJ. For several months she’s been annoyed at my husband and i think it’s because she misses me. He is always kind to her and even physically helps her in person. Whatever the reason, she’s just not kind when I mention him. I try not to react to…
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Guilt
My DH is in the Severe part of this awful disease and in MC. He has been refusing his meds at times and is experiencing agitation, anxiety and aggression. I have not been visiting because I know that I am a trigger for his anxiety and want him to remain as calm as he can for his own peace of mind and for the staff that…
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Medicaid planning
Is it still recommended that one should seek out Medicaid planning with elder law? Is funding for Medicaid in jeopardy? Is it risky to plan for Medicaid now?
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Delusions
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Where do we start?
We just received news today that my father who is 74 officially has Alzheimer’s (diagnosed through a blood test) we have been told that he had vascular dementia for a few years now, but mom and I are not completely surprised with this news, seeing as we have noticed the huge change and decline. Where do we even begin? He…
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Adjustable Bed?
DH will (hopefully) be coming home from rehab in the next few weeks. He’s recovering from a fractured tibia. PT is rough because he can’t follow direction well and doesn’t remember what they’re asking him to do. He is in distress every day here, and his anxiety and (growing) agitation is through the roof. But he is very…
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Bed bound & aggressive -looking for advice
I'm new here and looking for advice. A little background -I help care for my 84 year old father. He has late stage Alzheimer's, bed bound and completely dependent for care. Communication is difficult as his eyesight and hearing are poor and his ability to speak coherently is mostly gone. We are having a terrible time with…
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Repetition
Hello All, I am a 68yr old women caring for my 94 yr old mom diagnosed with middle stage dementia . My dad was a saint caring for her for at least 5 years until he passed 3 years ago. We are a family of six and are all present to help care for mom we are very fortunate in that way. She lives at home but is never alone we…
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Showering
My mom has Alzheimer’s and is not wanting to eat very much and does not want to shower or clean herself anymore. She gets very angry when we even mention getting in the shower. I posted here before and have tried everything I can , no luck. IT has been almost 4 weeks since her last shower. I put a chair in the shower and…
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Illness
Made last minute arrangements to watch my grandkids. DH was napping when they arrived and when he woke up, came downstairs, he was coughing a lot! Convinced him to go back upstairs so as not to get the kids sick. It was an issue all afternoon- and I understand that but after they left he insisted on staying with me as I…
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Thank goodness for the waterproof mattress protector
DH had a urinary accident in the bed last night. His disposable briefs could not handle all the fluid. DH's jammies were soaked. The fitted sheet, flat sheet, regular mattress pad and water proof crib pad were soaked. THANKS GOODNESS for the waterproof mattress protector. We use the 6 sided model with the zipper. It saved…
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I'm ashamed of myself.
I'm ashamed of myself. This morning I wasn't the kind understanding person I strive to be with my DW. Let me explain. I'm 82 years old and have had large dogs all my life. About 2-1/2 years ago we rescued an 16 month old (80 pound) boxer mix. She is a great dog, maybe the sweetest dog I've ever had with people; however,…
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First post
My wife age 66 has Alzheimer’s. As you have to make decisions such as taking her car away… she is very upset and doesn’t understand why.. what is best way to explain why since she still thinks nothing is wrong with her
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PWD Reading with a Tremor
Wondering if anyone has found a device of some sort that I can place a newspaper or magazine on so my DW can try to read. Her family has a genetic essential tremor and the dementia has made it worse from her. She's always liked reading magazines and the newpaper, but her hands shake too much now for her to hold it. If I…