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Support for the spouses or partners of dementia caregivers!
:/ Is there any information on support groups for the spouses or partners or the caregivers or info on what it can do to a relationship or marriage? Any information is greatly appreciated!
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ER again
My dad fell again yesterday. It's the 3rd fall in 2 weeks. He scraped his hand pretty badly and paramedics took him to the ER when his BP was over 200/100. Hospice nurse says he's going to end up bed bound if he keeps getting up from his wheelchair and falls. Mom has been encouraging him to keep walking as much as…
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Air Tag
My DW has been showing signs of memory loss for 3+ years and continues to decline. We were gifted air tags last Christmas so I set them up and placed one in her purse (she does not carry a phone and would not know what to do with it), and included children in the connections. This last Sunday afternoon we took our usual…
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My DW changes moods
Every week I take my DW to a local "equine therapy" farm because of her love of horses. When we arrive, she often grumbles that "I'm not getting out of the car!" or "I don't feel good. I'm going to stay right here!" And so I reply by saying, "Okay, we'll sit here for a while." Yesterday when the same worker we see every…
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He is like my shadow
God love my bf (eoa age 45) but what is with the following me around like a puppy? I was cleaning around the house and every time I turned around he was right there. I went to shake out a rug and he was right behind me. He is so light footed I didn't hear him. I got upset and told him I'm not going anywhere I just need…
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MedicAlert bracelet or something else?
MedicAlert Foundation sells bracelets and monitoring. Family notification is included at the $55/year level and for $75 they will "work with local authorities to get them home." Alternatively I can just buy a similar bracelet on Amazon and have my cell number engraved and skip the monitoring. Does anyone have opinions on…
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post placement
Over the past 7 years I've been caring for my DH I've benefited so much from the advice and knowledge of these discussions. We celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary this year and next week I will be placing him in memory care. I am devastated and and would really appreciate hearing from those who have been through it…
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PT recommending Subacute Rehab
Hi All! My DH is in the hospital with viral bronchitis. He is stage 6 dementia and is always disoriented and delusional. Last week he caught a cold and it settled in his lungs. On Saturday he fell a few times so I called for an ambulance. He fell twice in the ambulance. They couldn't wheel him in because we had snow. They…
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Totally inappropriate and weird clothing choices
We live in a CCRC and have a communal dining room. My husband has started picking out really bizarre clothing ensembles to wear to dinner. For example, last night he wanted to wear jogging pants, an orange long sleeved biking shirt, and a white button down shirt with a white undershirt over it, a tie that was tied with the…
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Recommended meds for anxiety and obsessions?
I am going to be seeing my primary care doctor soon (she is also my husbands doctor) and am going to push for meds for my husband to control his obsessions and anxiety. He has anosognosia. Has anyone used Zoloft/sertraline with good results? Are there other meds to consider? Our doctor is fairly young and I am not sure she…
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Frustrated
does anybody feel like they are frustrated and can’t do anything all I’m doing is a Word Search online and it feels like I can’t even do it.
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Just dropping in
It's been a while since I've posted. I've been reading some of the threads, and nothing seems to have changed. It's still heart break and difficulties, and carrying on. I'm sorry that good people have to deal with such a difficult problem. For those of you who had a LO pass on, I can't say I'm sorry they are no longer with…
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Coping with grief
My wife passed 8 days ago. I was her full time caregiver for 3.5 years. I read a lot about the grief process and what to expect after a spouses passing. There are 2 things that happen to someone in my situation. A tremendous euphoria comes over you after your spouse passes because the weight of care giving is relieved.…
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Feeling guilty
We’re moving my mom into a smaller apartment in Independent Living this weekend since I’ve had to up her caregiver hours recently and the cost of her 1-bedroom has recently gone up significantly. My hope is to give her more time where she is happy before making a bigger move. But of course she’s just annoyed and unhappy…
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Do former caregivers get anosognosia?
I'm just wondering - after all that I've been through and all that I've learned, is it possible that I might have insight into my disease if I develop Alzheimer's? Or am I just as likely to give my future caregivers the same hard time that my hubby gave me and my brother is now giving me? Both men angrily denied that there…
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Feeling Guilty/Stressed
Hi Everyone - first time here. My father had a stroke last March and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia....he is around Stage 4-5. I am an only child and we had to move him in with my family....Husband and 2 kids (13 and 11). It's been a little over a year and it's really taking a toll on me. My job is being really…
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Night time going home trips
LO will drag herself (or I'll help her) get to bed. Usually falls asleep in the recliner. Just totally tired. Probably around 9-10. And suddenly reappear with her comb and brush. Refreshed and ready to go. We go and she nods of on the trip. Help her to bed. And about an hour later back with comb and brush ready to go. One…
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Recent Diagnosis
I was just diagnosed yesterday with early stage Alzheimer’s. I am overwhelmed with fear. I go from being hopeful to having very little hope at all. I’m afraid of who I will become and what my illness will do to my partner. I came here for emotional support and guidance regarding how to move forward.
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The ups and downs of this disease
Just venting here! I wish I could understand/predict what will affect my MIL's behavior! Two recent events and she reacted the opposite way in both situations than I was prepared for. We recently took her across the country, on the plane, to visit family. We discussed it for months before. I very much expected a panic…
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Running away from me
I had an appointment with my eye doctor and took my DH with me because I couldn’t find anyone to stay with him while I was gone. We checked in and had a seat in the waiting area. After about ten minutes he got up and started heading toward the restroom. I got up to make sure he went into the right one. I tried to take his…
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TV help
I just heard about Jubilee TV. A caregiver can control a LO's TV from afar via a smartphone app. This might solve a lot of headaches. Iris
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Delusions have started for my PWD and I feel lost
Hi, I am the grand daughter and I help give care to my PWD. She has mid stage altzeimers dementia.I've noticed she's started to remeber false memories that didn't happen. She's started to see "animals" that aren't there. this is new. I've noticed this within the last month. How do I go about handling this? What should my…
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Wandering
Question: how to redirect or distract a LO that has begun their journey to “that” place. Many posts on this forum about wandering and attempts to redirect/distract before, but, i could use some thoughts on how to get a LO that has started of on their journey. I have posted before about wandering and a recent event. 99% of…
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plan
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If YOU had to pick a med for your loved one...
This probably sounds like a weird question and yet it is exactly what the pharmacist asked of us! He called us and told us that the geriatrician gave us three categories of meds and let us kind of pick what we wanted to try!! So the category was anti-anxiety meds, anti-convulsant meds, and anti-psychotic meds. We were kind…
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So which end is up?
Yesterday, my DH and I saw the neurologist in response to recent deepening confusion. But at the appt, he was on track, MMSE test higher than last year and he sounded much like his old self. I was shocked. From there the conversation with neurologist was light and overly optimistic. My DH said he exercised regularly,…
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Smoking and AL help
Looking for advice… My LO, a parent, is a lifelong smoker, which is problematic now that he needs a more supportive living arrangement since none of them allow indoor smoking and winters here get brutal. Ultimately, it looks like we’ll need to explore cessation (which has been tried so many times already) since this is…
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Sleep
I have read several posts about long sleep sessions. I think I even posted one. But, up til this month they have been maybe one a month. This month they are weekly. Normal bed time between nine and ten. Later if the "going home clause" is invoked. She is normally up ten or eleven. Getup time has moved out til as late a…
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Does she really have Vascular Dementia?
My mother received a diagnosis of advanced vascular dementia during a recent hospital stay. She was in the hospital after seeing robbers in her apartment and fleeing to her neighbor’s apartment. She is currently at an ALF after a month in memory care. Everyone around her or people I talk to say she has dementia, but I am…
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stress
You guys, I feel like I can sense the stress related chemicals having an impact in my body. Like I feel like I am running "hot" or revved up. I guess this is what this season feels like. Or at least I keep telling myself that it is due to this current season. I've mostly talked about dad here. Mom also struggles, but is…