-
Parent with dementia participating in memorial
My father has dementia. My mother passed away in January, and we are now planning her memorial for June. I have not involved my father in the planning because I think the complexity would be too much for him, but he has told me that he would like to speak. I'm not at all worried about what he would say - he speaks very…
-
Mum with Alzheimer, dad fine cognitively moved in for help in Jan
Mum is declining pretty fast yet the problem is my dad who won’t accept it and is pushing her to be her old self, he thinks he can stop this. They are 90 and 89 respectfully. She is at the stage of not being able to dress herself or shower herself yet he insists they go out and live a normal life. Dad says she is just…
-
Thought-provoking piece from the NYT
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/09/magazine/dementia-mother.html?unlocked_article_code=Q8fLrVVmv6CG-xoMZaz-Mduz0b8RD-NaL4vEZjiCxjxaOrDiRbaxL_aAkaOUFBDuZXz-DtdQVAEEYoC9-8J31i2kf2woOlwUTlc1oq0bSUFWZAgHQ0CTpujfcbg-3GZowzAwH1yAsM8g0-0rWLRP8UwX-COvYkb12uVnxN2phRXHeVjThbMmVaVGKHuCg52WxZgkDbknpEZVtlUiAplM079d0o-vOxNfc8CY2L3-8q8leA…
-
Mom doesn’t trust anyone
My dad has advanced dementia and can’t be left alone so I stay with him several days a week for my mom to get out to dr apts and grocery shopping etc. In the past year my mom has shown signs of dementia as well. She forgets things that happened and is paranoid to the degree that she’s accusing her daughter in law and…
-
Moving Mom to memory care
Hi there. I'm new on this message board and would love to hear any ideas on 'fiblets' to get my mom into memory care. She is a very proud woman who is completely opposed to moving. She has refused to let helpers in her house. She currently lives alone. She was rated as stage 5 entering stage 6 dementia by the speech…
-
Tooth problem
My mom has stopped brushing her teeth and the caregivers aren't doing it either. She now has a bad tooth that can either be pulled OR take off the bridge that is is under, pull it and have a new bridge (covered by insurance). The latter would take two hours. I don't know if she would sit and cooperate that long. You can't…
-
How do I navigate supporting my mom?
My mom has had dementia since 2022, and probably before then too. She used to live by herself until a week ago where I found a low income senior apartment for her. We’re still waiting on approval for the apartment, so in the meantime she’s staying with me, my partner, and my partners brother and his girlfriend. The last…
-
Mom can’t live alone but won’t accept caregiver
Hi- my mom had been living at home with my dad and her dementia was moderate, he passed in February and she can’t live alone but won’t accept a caregiver. She won’t move in with my sister or myself, insists she can live alone and when we try to get caregiver she won’t go in her house. She is beyond reasoning with, and she…
-
Anger and Dementia
This is my first time posting to this forum. I'm concerned about my 89 year old father's increased agitation, irritation, frustration, and absolute anger. How can I distinguish between what is "normal" for his age and what might be the beginning of some type of dementia. He's always been irritable and easily agitated. But…
-
Mom early/quickly progressing dementia
Hello everyone. I hope I can concisely explain what’s going on and get some practical advice. My mom does not have a diagnosis. My mom and dad are 89 and 86, respectively, and I have spent the last 3.5 years trying to get them moved to a small house already on my property 3 hours from where they have been living. The move…
-
So stressed
Hi everyone, I’m brand new here. I joined today because I feel like I’m approaching a crossroads and I need guidance. My father is 85 and last year, after a neuropsych evaluation, we were told he has Alzheimer’s. He was told at that time that he needed to get his affairs in order and seek AL. He has allowed me to take over…
-
Bible Verse to Lift You Up 5/8/23
Dear Friends, I so appreciate your comments. Thank you for each one. Hugs, Veronica (Ronnie) Badowski Isaiah 30:21 “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” * VICTORY THOUGHT: God communicates with me; He directs my life. * POWER PRAYER:…
-
Anxiety from change
I need advice. My 79 year old mom has recently been diagnosed as needing 24 hr. care. My brothers and I noticed small changes in the past year or more. She lost interest in crossword puzzles, struggled to do jig saw puzzles which she always loved, couldn't figure out how to do cross stitch any longer, and when I took her…
-
Balancing Act
90 year-old mom's in SNF for short-term while I am on medical leave. Her glucose levels are always elevated when she goes to SNF (the cons of the stay) and it's a long road back to decrease her #s when she comes home. She's been there since 4/8 and I learned yesterday her #s are very high, so I sent the doctor and director…
-
Caring for 2 parents with cognitive issues!
I have 2 wonderful parents who I truly want to love, honor, respect and give them the best quality of life I can possibly give them in their final years. My Dad who suffers from concussive syndrome just lost his drivers license on Friday and that truly broke my heart because he just doesn’t understand or comprehend that he…
-
Caring for my mother on at home hospice
Hello. I’m new to the group but need an outlet to hopefully connect to someone whom better understands than those I know that are trying around me. My mother has been battling Lewy Body Dementia for about 7 years. She has rapidly declined in the past months, has been in the hospital and rehab. She last was admitted for…
-
Bowel incontinence severe pain, comfort care
Hello all, I’m wondering if anyone else has witnessed extreme pain with moving bowels? My mom has been bedridden in hospital for 2.5 months. Aside from dementia and reoccurring UTI’s, she has no other diagnosis yet (BPD tho). After a few bout of screaming, crying, and moaning “it hurtttts”, I asked the doctor to switch her…
-
Caregiver thru a service doing 24/7 care in a private home - having a break?
How does it usually work with a 24/7 caregiver in a patients private home ? How do they get a break? The service says they have the 8 hour break when the patient sleeps. The service meets all the state and federal requirements. The service says it is up to what the care giver can handle or needs. Is this how it is usually…
-
Daughter dealing with Parkinson's father
Dad diagnosed has shown signs of hallucinations and agitation. Definitely accusations toward me, phantom smells, more pain than his usual. It has gotten hard for me to deal with since he lives with me. He seems to have more depressive and painful days. Not sure if his cognitive behavioral issues are due to his pain or in…
-
Irritation with Father in law/dementia + dysphagia
Hello lovely people, My husband and I stopped into the memory care center where Father in law resides. It was about 30 minutes from lunch time. My Father in law just wanted a hot dog in the worst way. He is, by the way, on pureed food. Anyway, I could not distract him but my husband did, so I walked out of the room and…
-
Dementia & strange behavior
My mom is in late stage dementia. Most of the time she’s sweet and calm but sometimes she does such weird things like trying to rip the button off her sweater because she wanted to put it in her ice cream; putting cookies in her water glass; trying to take a bite out of an ant trap; thinking the cat is a dog; pouring water…
-
Right way to Correct wrong behavior
My mom has mid to late dementia. Sometimes she tries to use a knife to eat instead of a fork or she attempts to eat non- food items (pens, water caps etc). When I go to correct her she gets very agitated. All the research I’ve done says not to correct them or tell them they made a mistake — be patient blah blah blah. NO…
-
Reminding them they have dementia
While my father is my mother's full-time caregiver, I assist him with medical and financial matters. I also visit for two weeks each month because I live in another state. I accompanied my mother to her appointment with the Neurologist for diagnosis. She is not accepting that she has dementia and constantly says she's not…
-
Delusions of moving - on a loop
Both in-laws are suffering from dementia issues. However, right now concern is with my elderly MIL. She is in a care facility. She has started having delusions that she is moving. She has packed up her china display plates and other knick knacks. She is insistent she is moving. So many texts and phone calls... Just too…
-
Refusal to shower
My mom has not showered in about 2 years!!! She 'washes around'/sponge bathes, but isn't washing her hair and probably other body parts get missed. She's been in AL since November 2022, but they can't force her to bathe. Her short term memory is gone, she resets every 15-30 minutes (completely forgets whatever conversation…
-
Monitoring decline
No formatter is installed for the format not-found
-
Unsure about displaying memorabilia
My mother is suffering from ALZ and moved in with us last year. Before she got sick, she and my dad (they are divorced but friends) would camp and canoe with friends. She had a blanket my sister made her with pictures from many of those moments, as well as a framed "Certificate of Courage" with a photo of her in her canoe…
-
Safety concern
Mom has young onset alz. She is obsessed with my dad. Today, while I was in a meeting, she ran outside, flagging down a random car, convinced it was Dad. I ran to her, no, mom we don't know them, you can't do that. I know I'm not supposed to correct her, but I was afraid. What would have been a better way?
-
New to the site
Hello everyone! I’m new to this site. My brother and I along with my Mother was informed by a Neuropsychologist last week that she has early stage of Alzheimer’s. She still lives in her home with my brother. The doctor mentioned to me about getting a POA in place which I’ve never done before. Not sure if there are other…
-
Transitioning to New MC
We moved my mom to a new MC this week where hopefully she'll receive better care. She's pretty agitated and anxious, and is demanding to go home. I haven't visited her since the day of the move. She was furious with me on moving day, accusing me of dumping her, not alerting her to the move, all sorts of things. To be…