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Dreams and Nightmares
Hi all, My dad has started having dreams/nightmares about his parents. They died in 1967 and 1971. He is dreaming that they committed suicide, they did not, and he wakes up crying. He has been talking about his mother a lot which is something new and he is not mentioning my mom (his wife) anymore. She died 11 years ago.…
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Finding a companion
Hello, I have an aunt that is living in a memory care facility she is 85. My mother ( her twin sister) and I live in a different state. We just went for a brief visit and have some concerns. Her guardian does not visit on a regular basis. Is it possible for us to hire (private pay) a person to go and visit her on a weekly…
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Ways to have a meaningful visit
I posted about a year ago after my mother had cataract surgery. She seemed to develop dementia over night after the surgery. She was at home till December but kept going to the neighbors house and saying bizarre things. After monthly trips to the ER for this and that, and calling 911 several times they finally admitted her…
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My dad ……please get me out of here……what do I say?
i moved my dad to AL 2 months ago has been doing ok…..ups and downs but was adjusting then when I was out of town for the weekend tried to escape and facility said he had to be moved to MC to stay………when I got back I was diagnosed with Covid so wasn’t with him in the move. Other family members helped but I’m his concrete.…
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Dementia is just so cruel.
My mom has always suffered from anxiety. She learned a few coping mechanisms over the years and self-medicated with wine in the evenings. I think she was drinking a lot more than I realized. We still don't have an official diagnosis, but whatever her kind of dementia is, I find it particularly cruel. Mom often gets…
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Bathroom Advice
Hello, I care for my mom who has advanced dementia. She stands and transfers well and can walk but not reliably - meaning, when she is tired or decides to, will just sit down. So, mainly we walk in house to keep her strength and keep her active. Someone is always following behind with a wheelchair. She cannot navigate…
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I sent a friend over to this site
Her Dad has Alzheimer's and she needs to be here. My wife had it and passed,it will be a year on the 27th. I got a lot of help here, don't think I could have made it without your help. Hopefully she can get it here too, at least she can blow off steam here and get some good advice. Ken or Hoot
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New Here! Could use guidance!
My grandma is in year 3 of her VD diagnosis. She was recently moved into a MC unit of an AL facility. She has been there for about a month. Before moving her out she began picking at everything. Tearing apart furniture, floors, pictures, literally anything and everything. She also began to wander which was concerning. We…
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Transition to no longer living on own
Hi all, I am new to this. My MIL was recently diagnosed with ALZ (two weeks ago) and had been diagnosed a year prior with MCI. Prior to the ALZ diagnosis she had been living on her own working and driving part time. She is 84 and has been an independent and a strong woman as long as I have known her. The week after the…
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Early sign of dementia?
My father (75) is refusing to reimburse for a trip we took, because he believes my brother did not reimburse him for some items over 11 years ago. Over these 11+ years, there has been no mention of this debt, and my father has reimbursed my brother for his portion of several other trips. Possibly also related - my father…
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Recos for Certified Elder Care Attorney (CELA) in New York State?
We'd like to find a good CELA in New York State. Some questions: Do you know one you can recommend, or a good resource for finding one? What should we do to prep for our appointment once we find someone? Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
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Mom hiding diagnosis
Hello everyone. I'm new and I have a tricky situation. My grandma had Alzheimer's, so I know the signs. My Mom is 74 and has been having symptoms for 2 yrs. Repeating questions, forgetting things, not remembering places we've been, pets, etc. She gets super angry out of nowhere and she sleeps all day long. She has always…
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Angry, delusional, strong, undiagnosed, 80 year old mother
My 80 year old mother has had all of the symptoms of dementia for about three years and has refused to see a physician. For tge past six months, she has obsesses with a killer cat that is tormenting her pets and is currently making accusations of theft against a granddaughter. Her forgetfulness is a constant, but the…
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Caring for Mom
Hi there, I am thankful to be able to connect with other people who understand what caregiving is like. It's definitely exhausting, frustrating, etc. I've decided it's ok to feel whatever I'm feeling, I'm only human. I'm relying on my relationship with the Lord to see me through this. It's tough to let go of what you…
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I have Covid and haven’t been able to see my dad. I miss his hugs
Really missing my daddy today. I want to just hug him. I’ve had Covid for 9 days. At first it was nice to have a reason not to go everyday but now it’s killing me. I just need a hug from my dad. He doesn’t know my name but he knows I’m “his little girl”
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Ending Driving
Can anyone share how they were able to get their loved one to stop driving
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Refusing care
My mom lives with me, I’m 62 and she’s 84, I think she has dementia but I can’t get her to leave the house. She refuses to see a doctor stating there’s nothing wrong, says she’s dying and there’s nothing to be done. She’s been refusing solid food for many months only drinking ensure for sustenance and smoking. She really…
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Mom forgets that Dad has passed
We helped my mom move from her home of over 45 years into a retirement community last December. I'd say she's in Stage 5 of Alzheimer's, but still in independent living. She doesn't love it and hasn't embraced being around other people, mostly because she knows her memory is not good. She recently started forgetting…
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Doctors Visits
Trying to support my father who refuses to go to doctors appointments due to the build up of anxiety related to going. He has what we believe to be getting closer to end stage dementia. Are there online neurologists that can help so he does not have to go to appointments? Any other tips for dealing with personality changes…
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Update
Hi everyone, My heart is going out to everyone reading posts tonight! I haven’t been as active on here because my mom now has her official diagnosis (NPH) which brings a whole host of other issues. I just feel like I wanted to check in here. Like many people, I started this journey thinking things would go slow: not so.…
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Staging
How do I know which stage my dad is in? From looking at articles online I would say 6, but I am not sure.
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Dentures
How do get your LO to take their dentures out of their mouth? We take his teeth every night when he is getting ready for bed so we can clean them for him. Now he just stares blankly at us and doesn't seem to hear us asking him to give us his teeth. Everything seems to have gone downhill quickly. He's not eating much,…
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Am I doing the right thing?…..because it feels awful
My dad 82 with mid stage Alzheimer’s has been in AL for 3 weeks. He was absolutely loving it until about 4 days ago. His girlfriend of 20 years ,with whom he lived with until I moved him to my house about a month prior to AL. I am his MPA. I’ve had to have several discussions with her about what not to say when she visits…
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New here
Hello group. I’m new to this forum and I’m looking for resources and help with my mother. My husband and I just moved in with her. Her sundown has her kicking us out every night. How can I divert this behavior or learn how to deal with it without it hurting me? Are there zoom support groups? Are there any 12 step programs?…
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Where to find help
How to help someone who is caring for their mom who has dementia. The Mom does not speak English, has no health insurance and is a new immigrant to the USA. The Mom is living with her daughter and the dementia symptoms are getting worse. The burn out is extreme for the daughter. My heart aches to help her. I often visit to…
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Introducing a Caregiver
Hello, I am new to this group. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia 2 years ago. She lives with my dad about 5 minutes from me and my family. After much waiting, we are finally getting some hours with a respite caregiver to give my dad some much needed time off of caregiving. My question is, what is the best way…
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Ready for Long Term Care?
Hi Everyone, New here! How do you know when it’s time to move a parent to permanent care? Mom is 76, diagnosed w/Alzheimer’s two years ago. She no longer does personal hygiene, wanders all over the house, nasty behavior, difficulty communicating, incontinence, accusatory, argumentative, difficulty eating, swallowing,…
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Housing options
Hello I am a daughter of a mother with Alzheimer’s. I am trying to get advice on living situations. She’s living alone in a big house and I don’t know what type of housing she should move to. Some of the communities I’ve seen are insanely expensive..!! She’s still independent but I’m seeing her progress… any advice would…