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Learned to find my voice
The long story: For years while mom's been in denial I've been sneaking around trying to get things done. Without a break since summer 2019 as full time PCA for mom in the home braking point was reached end of December 2020. The short story: I finally mustered up courage to speak my experiences and observations to mom's…
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How soon to tell dad we are moving him to AL
My 990-year-old dad has a diagnosis of VD and I have been his sole caregiver since my mother died 15 months ago. He lives in a condo near me and I have kept him there because of COVID, knowing that I would either have to get in-home care or move him to AL at some point. That time has now come. His delusions are increasing,…
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Not sure what to do(2)
I am new to this site. My mother was diagnosed with Dementia in Oct. 2020. I am watching her condition worsen but am grateful that she is still able to do somethings on her own. I am more concerned about my father. My parents have been married for 50+ years. My father is in denial about her condition and is resisting help…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 2/8/21
LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! * Psalm 119:47 NKJV "And I will delight myself in Your commandments, Which I love." * Matthew 11:30 NKJV "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” * me: God's commands are not given to make us suffer. Remember, Jesus our Lord said, His burden for us is light. Since He created us and wants a close…
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Challenges
Hi all, new here. My MIL is in the middle stage of Alzheimer's and lives with us. She's routinely confused, sundowns daily has been aggressive/combative 2x with my daughter and me and, she hallucinates and suffers from delusions regularly. During the day, most days, we have a good relationship. She's pleasant, kind, funny,…
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Dementia and Finances
Hello everyone. I have been silently lurking a few months but decided to finally bite the bullet and post. I will save the introduction and back story for a later day, if that is ok. I am emotionally zonked and it is too much right now. My mom has an unspecified dementia diagnosis - likely AD but will need imaging or more…
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Should I bring her home?
Hello, I'm new to this forum and new to my wife being in memory care. We have been married for 21 years, both widowed after 40 years. It has been a wonderful 21 years but dementia came into our lives in 2015 and has slowly taken over. From what I read she would be in stage four now. I have been her sole caregiver until…
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furnishing MC room
moving mom in soon and need to furnish, decorate, etc. She has limited mobility and, at this stage, biggest issues are confusion and exec function/working memory issues. She is generally oriented to time (month and year) and recognizes people (but might forget a name). Any advice for things that might be particularly…
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From Rage to paranoid very hard to deal with...
MY father goes from Rage and aggression to being helpless and paranoid . Open to all suggestions please.
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Being around family seems to make my grandmother's symptoms worse??
My 93 year old grandmother with dementia recently broke her hip and underwent surgery. The recovery process has been excruciating for all of us involved, as her dementia and cognitive impairment has made it so she does not understand what happened, where she is, or what she needs to do to get better. I (25f, granddaughter)…
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Random Episodes of “I can’t breathe”
I have been caring for my Grandmother who is in the later stages of this disease. Several times a week she will say she can’t breathe and gets into a panic, after a few minutes she is fine and doesn’t remember the episode. I’ve tried asking her if she is in pain or anything but I don’t get a response. I’m just curious if…
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Any suggestions on how to handle the constant repetition?
My LO lives with me, so we are together 24/7. I'm finding it harder & harder to not stress when I am asked the same things over & over daily. I try so hard to just calmly repeat my answers. I know this is common issue for everyone and probably no suggestion to help with it, but it just felt good toput it out there .
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Mother calls upset and crying
I apologize in advance for the long post. My mother is in a facility that has all levels of care. She had been in independent living however due to multiple falls, shortly after Covid started, she was put in the nursing center and has been there ever since. She was having a little difficulty with words previous to this but…
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Transportation to MC facility closer to me
I need to move mom to a facility closer to me -- about a 100 mile distance. The facility will send some options for transportation, but thought I would ask here about any recommendations for providers (she'll be coming from the Metro NY area), expected cost, and if there is anything in particular I should ask or expect. We…
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Sudden Dead Weight on Transfers?
Just wondering if others have experienced caring for a person who has always been able to use upper body strength to assist transfers and suddenly doesn't brace, pull or push with their arms. We are also seeing "jelly legs" where he can't bear weight in transfer sitting to standing. We have always used a gait belt to help…
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POA Question- selling car
Hi all! I need to sell my mothers car and it is in her name only. I bought it for her a year ago when all was well. I was dumb not to put my name on title when I thought of it at the time. In any case, I need to sell it now, has anyone experienced selling an automobile using a POA? Were there any obstacles or was it not a…
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how do you deal with meanness?
As far back as I can remember (i'm 53 years old) my mom was a negative person and a master manipulator with ability to make others feel guilt (my 3 siblings feel same way). It now seems that the behavior is on steroids and I find I struggle with granting grace and believing that it's the disease and not a calculated…
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My grandma cannot stop singing and refuse eating and drinking
Since last month, my grandmother became obsessed with singing. One day, suddenly she was aggregated and scared of something. There were a few days which were okay. However, now she sings nonsense almost whenever she is awake. The song is made up of her favourite song, her speech, and counting numbers. The first few minutes…
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Need distraction from the calendar
My mom is very bored and doesn’t want to get out much; just sits and stares at the calendar for much of the day. My dad prints out the day’s calendar in the morning before my mom gets up. He circles the day and leaves the rest of the month with important days/activities denoted (grocery shopping, dog wash, nail and hair…
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A tragic story and warning
A 95 year old man residing in an assisted living facility shot and killed one of the workers. The news report provided no details. I would not be surprised if there is a history of dementia or delusions. https://www.kktv.com/2021/02/04/95-year-old-accused-of-shooting-and-killing-assisted-living-employee/ Iris L.
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Exhausted caregiver looking for suggestions and help
My grandmother has lewy body dementia which also alters her vision and it seems like it is rapidly progressing. I have to repeatedly remind my grandmother to eat and take her meds while she chases "people" around the house, as it is mentally draining for both of us. She refuses to eat and shower, she will say she did but I…
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I am an out of state daughter
I am not only looking for ideas to help my mom who is out of state but also to support me. All of this is new to me but she seemed to have been having issues for perhaps a few years. After trying for a couple of years for the doctor to diagnose her he finally did. But I am not sure what "moderately significant" really…
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Severe yet functional
Greetings everyone. My father is 82, was diagnosed with severe Alzheimer's. in July. He is otherwise in good health, passed his driving evaluation, and still lives alone with my help a couple times a week. He is a master at hiding it, but if you drill down on things like paying bills, in the moment he really struggles. I…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 2/4/21
MAKE OR BREAK YOUR DAY * These verses were today's suggested reading from Sarah Young's book JESUS CALLING: * Psalm 29:11 NKJV “The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace. Numbers 6:24-26 NKJV “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious…
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Indoor visits starting again
Indoor visits started again at my parents’ ALF. 30 minutes, scheduled in advance, during the daytime on a weekday only( due to staffing). Temperature checks and questionnaire. Only two visitors at a time for the entire building. Oddly, I didn’t want to go. I’ve been doing all my parents shopping, paperwork, finances. I’ve…
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Moving LO into AL
Hi - Both of my parents have dementia. Mom has Alzheimer's, Dad has VD. He was recently hospitalized and is going into rehab tomorrow. We have AL set up after he is discharged but may have trouble caring for Mom in the meantime. She has no insight, by the way. Worried about moving her into AL alone, that it will be more of…
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Incessant calling
My father is is progressing fast - and lives with my stepmom. He thinks he still has to go to work (although he is retired), and calls me & my sister incessantly (30-40 calls per day) to confirm that he doesn't have to go to work. We try to calm him and confirm everything is ok. I feel guilty if I can't answer - but it is…
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Do you give in?
My mom is currently at a stage where she is suspecting my father of infidelity (which we know is not true). She wants to tell everyone and anyone and wants to show the world who he is. We've been having a hard time with this and are trying our best to redirect and distract, but she is obsessed with this situation. We are…
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Both parents with dementia, running out of options
Hi all, I'm newly registered but have been reading the posts. My mom (age 85) has ALZ and VD; she was officially diagnosed last summer but we have known for 5-10 years that she's been struggling. My dad (age 88) has a lot of cognitive problems and some dementia from a fall and resulting brain surgery last summer. For the…
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Mom wants to go dancing!!
My Mom was diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer’s a few years ago. She is in her early 70’s and recently moved into her own home near me. Her husband ( my Father) passed away a few months ago so she has had a lot of change lately. Her sister lives with her full time to assist with daily activities. Mom has always been a go…