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He is gone(2)
DH passed away early this morning. We were told 2-4 days last Tuesday, but he fought it until this morning. Each of the kids got a chance to say goodbye and most of us were with him when he passed. He squeezed my hand hours before. And the last words he said to me a week ago was "I love you". I'm numb. I've missed him for…
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Beachfan(1)
I am wondering how you are doing, Beachfan. Have not seen a post from you for awhile.
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In some cases, Medicare will cover dental procedures
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/medicare-will-now-cover-medically-necessary-dental-care-19356
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A horrible terrible night.
I woke up at midnight to the sounds of my DH up and moving around, so went in to check on him. The diarrhea stench hit me as soon as I opened the door. He was in his bathroom with the lights on and said he had diarrhea. There was poop all over the bed and the floor, as well as on DH from his back down to his feet. He was…
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I thought this was good and from the heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrMHjj0ANko
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Need some advice(3)
My SO has short term memory loss. We have been together for 7 years. He wants me to be his executor. “I want you in charge if I get sick”. We have had these conversations for years. He just put it off. If he makes a will or medical POA or a POA now…will they be considered valid? I do not benefit in any way if he passes. He…
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Dinner, the battle ground
I try to make simple meals that I can “hold” for an hour or so when DH won’t come to the table but it is getting so frustrating. Tonight I finally took the TV controller away from him . Then he will eat 3 or 4 bites and start to clean up. When he is all done cleaning up he will come back to the table and eat more of his…
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Paris
If possible, you need to get a 5 generation photo. That would be a keeper for a long time. We have one with my wife's mother as the 5th generation. Both my wife and her mother are now gone, but we still have the picture.
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Trying to make things easier
It takes work, but you can do it. It all comes down to your thinking. Your brain will always lead you to the negative aspects of a situation. That's automatic. So you have to work to change that. Consider the following situation. A friend tells you they had a conversation with your LO, and they seem just fine. “I just had…
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Don't miss this one
Someone tells you they had a great conversation with your LO, and they seemed just fine. What would you think about that? Or they say something else pertaining to your LO or the way you are making decisions. This video is for you! I know it won't be easy, but it might make you feel a lot better. I think this is a must see…
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Anniversary(3)
Today DW and I have been married 41 years. This morning when she came into the living room I hugged and kissed her and told her happy anniversary, she smiled and then it was gone. There's days I sure miss the lady I married 41yrs ago or even 2yrs ago, but I'm truly blessed to still have her in my life. Happy Anniversary…
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Are there ways to cope?
My DH and I have been in our new house for 4 months. Last night a neighbor had a “meet ‘n greet” for several people in the neighborhood (we are all new to the area). My DH was interacting with people, as was I. Most of the people wore name tags. At 3-1/2 hours into it, my DH told me he was going home. Okay… I stayed for…
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No Holiday Spirit for Me
I have no intention of decorating for the season. With DW in an MCF for the last few months it seems pointless and frankly a painful reminder of what we have lost. At Christmas 2019, DW seemed to fully engage with the season and understood the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year. We set up and decorated the tree…
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Bed rails(1)
Tell me what you think of this idea. A friend was talking about her husband rolling out of bed more frequently during the night when he is dreaming. The bed rail that slips under the mattress did not always keep him in and he could not grab onto it to pull himself up as it simply pulled out. At some point she is going to…
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Does anyone's lo do suduko or puzzles?
This is one of those things, that makes me wonder about my dw condition. She still does crossword sudoko every day. They are large print and an easy to intermediate level. Is this something that someone with Altzhiemers say stage 5 would be able to do? She hadn't used her tablet in months and picked it up and checked her…
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Glasses saga
Last December at his optometrist appointment I asked that the PD numbers be added to his prescription paper. I was thinking that if something happened to his glasses, I’d order online. Fast forward to November. DH is cleaning his glasses and on one side the lens fell out. I take the frame and the lens and go look for his…
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Korean War vet honored today at mcf
Today a resident where my dw is was honored with the Korean Ambassador of peace medal. He also has a purple heart medal, he stepped on a landmine.he aslo has a case full of other medals. We attended the ceremony. They had the ceremony in the main dining room, they had the mayor present the award and there was a large…
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Any advice?
It's been a long while since I've posted, but I know that this is the place to find kind folks who have experience or guidance during this long, lonesome journey of caring for a spouse with dementia. My wife has had a "mild" cognitive impairment for years, coupled with heavy wine drinking. A couple of weeks ago, she had a…
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Dementia advice fatigue
I know they mean well, but I have had just about enough of book recommendations, articles that I should read, and videos I need to see. The Titanic metaphor is pretty tired, but it's a pretty good fit for how I experience my life with my wife. We were sailing along pretty well, heading for what we thought was a better…
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Here one minute gone the next
Well I am guessing this is the beginning of the end of Dw knowing who I am. It has happened twice in the last couple weeks where I am sitting with my dw and she is having a conversation with my sister-in-law and I am sitting directly across from her and she suddenly says where is stewart. Of course my eyes make direct…
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Picking Skin
There is a big fancy word called Dermatillomanina which is a OCD thing of picking one's on skin. My spouse picks her arms over and over and over. They bleed. It is messy and it is frustrating. The Doc raised the antidepressant but it didn't help. Just curious if anyone else has had this issue and any luck of how to control…
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What should I expect?
DH fell down at night at home in late October, as it turns out he has acquired hemophilia A. After blood transfusions, he was put on prednisone that raised his blood sugars, he is diabetic type 2. Dementia was in the beginning stages. He is due to come home from rehab on Thursday. He is losing sense of time, doesn’t answer…
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When they don't know you
I know I've posted several links to videos, but this one may be the best I've ever seen. When Someone With Dementia Forgets Who You Are
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Joshbi(1)
Joshbi you asked this question which I think is a good question especially for those out there that are just wondering. "Would anyone here be willing to share the first indication that something was just a little off with your spouse but you didn’t think it was very significant since it didn’t interfere with ADL’s at the…
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Saw DW this morning
Saw DW this morning at memory care . As always no recognition or reaction. she was in bed, but dressed . Looked lovely , skin fine , nails and hair grow. She is very clean room is nice lean 4 years since she had any idea who I am. In December 1972 on Christmas I asked this spectacular girl if she would marry me. It just…
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How much can I expect DH to recover after a fall
DH is now in a skilled nursing facility. He was discharged from the hospital last Friday to continue recovering from the 3 broken ribs and a subdural hematoma. He recognizes me, can read words, feed himself, but doesn't have much cognition beyond this. I met the social worker today and they started to ask me about my plans…
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Is he ok?
I went to breakfast with 2 girlfriends today. I was accused of wallowing. My friend thinks I’m wallowing because I just had a hip replacement and a pneumonia diagnosis last week. She doesn’t know my SO has short term memory loss. She doesn’t realize I’ve been confined for a month with constant repeated questions,…
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Terminal Lucidity
My husband hasn't walked in two months. He went from having Covid in later September which took away his ability to walk, to falling, to entering the hospital where they attempted PT to long term care to Hospice. Two of his kids traveled to see him this past weekend and when I came on Sunday, he stood up from the…
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Heart and head not in agreement
I'm at a crossroads. Due to increasing physical aggression toward me, last incident involved calling 911, my head tells me it's time to start considering memory care for my husband of almost 55 years. My heart tells me to wait before taking that step. In the past all the difficulties I've been able to handle.....repeating…
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Bathtub
Last night DH got up at 2:30AM and got into the bathtub. It is a very deep tub and he couldn’t get out. I heard him yelling and the water running so I ran into his bathroom to help. It took us over an hour to get him out. I thought I would have to call the fire department. Any ideas how I can prevent this in the future? I…