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I wish this wasn't so true.
THE MIND REPLAYS, WHAT THE HEART CANNOT DELETE.
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Korsakoff's syndrome info?
I'm not even sure if that was spelled correctly, but you know what I mean. I've known a man for 60 years. We first met when we were neighbors, and we know each other's families. I haven't seen him for a while, but one of our daughters told me that he is having memory problems, and maybe problems with speech. He has abused…
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Unambiguous Loss
For four years, I have participated in a local spouse-caregivers’ support group. I remember keenly the first meeting I attended. At the time, I thought to myself two things. One, a lot of folks are a lot worse off, or more progressed, than I and my DW. And second, that is our future. And now, we are those people who are…
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I'm not sure what this is - anticipitory grief?
My wife and I have been together for sixty seven years. Through the years, certain things have happened that we both remember. It might have been something humorous, or just anything that ties us together. Maybe a piece of music, at a certain place. Things that only the two of us can relate to in a special way. If we talk…
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taking things out of his name
My DH and I have a revocable trust. My mom passed away in July and I received some money from her estate. I spoke with our lawyer because I don't know what to do with the money. Do I add it to our savings or keep it in my name? She told me yes, I need to keep that in my name, and I need to take everything out of his name.…
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Coping strategies for loneliness
This is an oddly tough year 50 years ago in Feb 1972 I was enamored of a small shy badly dressed Pre-med Math major. I thought she was a princess. She thought I was a "drunken bum with lecherous intentions" I was just crazy for her. She would not go out with me but would chat endlessly in the dormitory stairwell. By…
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question for those who have used AL and MC
We're not there yet, but the time is nigh when I will need companion care here, and I have learned so much about thinking about MC from you guys. If something happened to me it would be a necessity, as my partner has no family who could step in. Here's my question: did you have a sense ahead of time of whether your LO…
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There's nothing harder than putting gloves on someone who isn't helping
We've had snow. Lots of snow. DH likes to go outside. He keeps taking off his gloves, and I keep trying to put them back on him. Oh my. He looks the other way, waves his hand around, makes a fist, grabs the edge, separates his fingers too much, keeps his fingers stuck together, sticks the pinky out, won't push his fingers…
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It’s a puzzlement
How is it that my DH can remember every little bad thing he thinks I did (either recent or in the past) but he can’t remember that that we just watched a TV show 10 times in a row? Either way, it makes me crazy.
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Getting worse(2)
My husband has taken to stripping naked and sitting around, heaping abuse on me. He drools and has fecal accidents regularly. When he doesn’t get what he wants like having a meal right after he just finished one, he starts yelling, smashing things and just basically being a total a hole. To say I am sick of this would be…
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Tired of doing this(today)
DH was diagnosed in 2018 with ALZ after years of problems. I don't know what stage he is at and I don't think it really matters. He has gone downhill since November. He thinks the people on tv are his friends and are talking to him. The news, which I am trying to limit, bothers him. He hears war and killings and gangs and…
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Beginning care by others
My DW’s progress down the slope has accelerated to the point where I need help. She does not acknowledge her memory loss and confusion as anything inappropriate or troubling; rather, she has developed an uncharacteristic suspicion of people in general and of me and her other close family, and is increasingly distancing…
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How do I behave with DH in denial
DH in early stage Dementia getting angry with me. Hdd we heard me talk to a friend and said he doesn’t have dementia, who said so? U r spreading rumors etc. I tried explaining to him that his neurologist and scans showed but he denied I am not sure how I should behave He may get more agitated
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My thoughts(1)
I lost my special guy in June of 2020. From time to time, I am drawn to this board, remembering when you all were lifesavers for me. In the past few days, I’ve seen postings that inclined me to share again. Today has been a chilly, icy day and I decided this is the day…. To Ed1937 - Thank you for your wisdom and calm,…
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Want to go home and why arent we married
My DW and i have been married for 50 years on Feb 19. We had a small party 10 people and it was hard for her. She has had Alzheimer’s for 10 years. Last night was a very bad night and am worried if this was a bad night or if this is a new road. Here is what happened. “ Last night was so bad felt like i was going to have a…
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Nightbird
I saw on the news that Nightbirde, a young woman with metastatic breast cancer, has died. She sang an original song on America's Got Talent that brought the judges to tears. Her message: You can't wait until life isn't hard to be happy. Words to live by
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I feel like I'm falling apart.
I think I'm going to cry. After writing a long and detailed post, it just went "poof" and disappeared and I can't get it back. That is the way my life has gone this last couple of weeks. It feels like everything is going "poof" and disappearing. DH memory is getting worse. I have been ill...I spent last Saturday night in…
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Blood pressure surprise
I've written before about my DH's sudden decline with leg weakness and cognition changes. Doctor ordered home health physical therapy to address leg weakness and they noticed consistent low blood pressure and heart rate. Doctor removed one BP med. A week later DH is walking better and not as much fogginess. Of course, he…
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need suggestions for coping with bathroom problems
My DH is 91 and I am 82. He was diagnosed 5 yrs ago and now at the Moderate stage since he had brain surgery 3 yr ago for subdural hematomas. He also has had Crohn's disease for over 40 yrs and it was managable with 6 pills a day. Oddly he never has accidents with urination but lately has not been able to control bowel…
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I am sure it has been said
I hate altzhiemers. I hate what it does to the pwd and the care giver. Just want to scream it right now. My dw has a shoulder that hurts and has for years. She take Ibuprofen for the pain. I give them to her and 5 minutes later she's got the bottle in her and dummy me says you just took one 5 minutes ago,NO I DIDN'T off…
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Amusing observations at the MC facility
There is always something to chuckle at when I visit my wife in MC. While moving her back into her room from her hospital stay I noticed many of her clothes were missing, along with a new walker, nice winter jacket, two pair of jeans, and all of her socks. The next morning when I checked in at the main office I gave a list…
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Question for the medical people here
One week ago today my wife fell, and took me with her. I injured my little finger, but did not get x-rays. I kept it taped to the next finger, and decided to take the tape off today. Finger is still a little sore, and discolored a little, but really feels pretty good. When I washed my hands today, I noticed that my little…
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“Lost” car key
My DH loves his car key because he can press the button which automatically opens the door for us. It gives him a sense of control especially if he can open the door before I can use my key to open it. But alas, he had to “loose” his key after I heard a news segment stating that people who wander are apt to take off in the…
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What can I expect with progression?
I am new to this forum, my DH has Alzheimer’s and I’m trying to plan for our future. I’m not sure what stage he is in, but he has problems coming up with words, often rambles when he talks, asks lots of questions and constantly “shadows” me. He gets confused about what clothing to wear. If I don’t help him he’ll put on a…
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How long can I last
My DW has had Crohn's disease for 25 years and was diagnosed with Dementia 3 years ago. I say Dementia but I'm not exactly sure what it is, only what it has done to my DW. It is difficult to see her trying to make a phone call on the TV remote, not able to hold an intelligent conversation as she can't remember most names,…
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CCRCs IMPORTANT DETAILED INFORMATION
This is a very detailed article from AARP regarding various types of CCRCs, what to look for, questions to ask, average costs and so much more. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2017/continuing-care-retirement-communities.html J.
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Neuropsyhology testing in Dementia
DH was diagnosed in last July, 21 and Neuropsyhology did Neuropsyhology testing. The neurologist wants to Do another test in September, 22. Is this the right test to do ? Will this show the decline? Any thoughts? Thanks
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How do you know when it's time?
How do you know when it's time to get your EO wife into a facility? So far, we are doing well enough but there have been a few incidents that might have had bad outcomes. She is bored, restless, sad, and frustrated. She is losing vocabulary and frequently says things that make no sense [often she is aware of it, but more…
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Doing what he wants
I’m getting to the point that I understand if I don’t do what he asks immediately it’s going to take a turn where I am yelled at for being the worst, selfish bitch in the world. This morning I emptied the dishwasher, made breakfast and went to work (was gone for about 10 hours). I came home, he’d partially made dinner for…
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Official Diagnosis (dx) plus 3 Years
DH was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease in February 2019. Like many here, the symptoms showed up years before the official dx. I first started noticing something was "off" in 2016. For example: * DH was having difficulty with math, which he had always been good at. * DH was having difficulty dressing. When he…