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The surreal life
Had a fridge to move while I was at work. Made arrangement for Tim to move fridge. Told DH (10-50 times) Left note on counter, put note on fridge and left note for Tim. After work the fridge was gone. Me: "Did Tim come and move the fridge?" DH: "No, I moved it." Me: "Where is the note I left for Tim?" DH: "Tim took it."…
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Why am I so fearful of his anger?
This month, a dear old friend reached out and wanted to get together. I am on "vacation" this week (although work is truly my vacation from home life) and thought I would be able to spend at least 4 hours with her, just reconnecting. When I mentioned to my husband that she had reached out, he initially was supportive, but…
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Any LEO's here (or part of the Blue Family)?
My DH is retired police - work he did for most of his life before he went on disability. He held many positions from patrol to detective to eventually being patrol captain and then administrative captain. I have been a Blue Wife for my entire marriage (and still consider myself part of that family). The question I have is…
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VENT: before I lose it
I have learned not to blow up at DH, no matter how upset I am. I am especially anxious and edgy right now. I want to scream. This is what would likely come out of my mouth, directed at DH, if I weren't penning this post right now. * I want you to listen to me without interrupting me. * I want you to let me talk without…
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Shoe Recommendation
My husband has an issue with swollen ankles and feet. Trying to put his shoes on has become a real struggle. He has Lewy Body dementia and is very unstable when walking, therefore cannot wear slip on shoes. Can anyone recommend a shoe brand that would be easy for me to get on him? He will not wear sandal style and they…
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Grumpy old get off my lawn man
In the past couple of years and especially since Covid my DH has become what I call the grumpy old "get off my lawn" man. When people are walking with or without dogs down our street I always get a, "They don't live in this neighborhood, they shouldn't be walking on this street." Or, "There is a park down the street I'm…
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Stuck in the grief
Dementia has taken so much- my husband (all but his physical presence), my future, my money, my piece of mind, etc. All the loss had led to overwhelming grief. It's a grief most people can't understand, so I bear it alone. There is no ritual associated with this type of loss and very little support (in my case). I can't…
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Post Hospital Discharge Therapy - Our Experience & 2 Questions
When DH was discharged from the psych hospital in June the doctor ordered physical therapy (PT), occupational therapy (OT), speech therapy (ST), a medical social worker (MSW) and nursing care. At the same time, I hired an in home caregiver for 4 hours a day, one day per week. The home health agency (HHA) did not have a…
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Does MC delay death?
After several of his hospitalizations, by LO was placed in nursing facilities for "rehab". The last one had him so doped up that he was just breathing, and not much else. I guess it was good while he was there, because there was a resident who yelled all day and night, and you could hear her as soon as you entered the…
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Drugs v Services
This is an excellent op-ed piece regarding the hope/promise of drug treatments and the real need for physical and respite care . You may need to turn off your ad blocker. https://www.inquirer.com/opinion/commentary/alzheimers-drug-aduhelm-treatment-safety-net-20210806.html
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Support group member's husband died
We lost a support group member's husband this week. He was a physician, very nice man. He was for a time in the same memory care as DW. and I used to take his picture and send it to his wife. He died in Hospice, he was 73. We have been doing support group online. I was the host this week So I set aside a few minutes at the…
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Video Tony Bennett (Alz Dis) Singing with Lady Gaga
Tony Bennett was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2016; while he has had losses and advancement in his disease process, he rises to the occasion with music. Here is a new video of him singing with Lady Gaga,"I Get A Kick Out Of You." Sweet and poignant.…
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Daycare Shutdown
Yesterday I received a call from DH’s daycare asking me to pick him up as they have a positive Covid case in the building. The building is a continuum care facility with 400 workers plus residents. DH was tested before I picked him up. We quarantined in our condo while waiting for results. Fortunately his test is negative.…
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California 1st State To Mandate Indoor Healthcare Workers Must Be Vaccinated
Surpised me; Ca mandates by September 30th that all indoor healthcare workers whether paid or undpaid must be vaccinated. I was a bit surprised to see that Home Health entities are not included in this mandate; or at least not spelled out as such:…
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Vaccination Mandate For NH Staff Under Fire and Debate
Nursing homes are beginning to see an upsurge in patients becoming positive for the COVID mutated Delta virus. This is seen even in patients who have been vaccinated. In several NHs fully vaccinated patients have contracted the Delta virus and have died. The single place the exposure came from appears to be from…
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Best Mask Line of thr day
You should wear a mask anytime you are near a person who you would not want to know that you had no underwear on
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Another first(1)
I've been thinking that this dementia journey is similar to the tide coming in. A wave comes in, some new symptom/behavior exhibits itself, then the wave returns to the ocean, you breathe a sigh of relief and things seem normal again. The new symptoms are so shocking that you don't realize that older ones that used to be…
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Health passport
They have just introduced the Health Passport. You need to prove that you are fully vaccinated or tested less than 2 days ago to go to the restaurant, to a show, at the hospital, in a retirement home, to take the train… We are fully vaccinated so, it isn’t a problem for us. But All people who work with vulnerable people…
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Consideration of the new Alzheimers drug (aduhelm)
My wife has been diagnosed with alzheimers (Nov 2019). She will be retested soon to confirm that she is in the early stages of the disease, and so use of aduhelm is possible. The issues are cost of course (unclear if Medicare will pay for anything), plus the side effects, plus questions from the clinical trials as to how…
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Finally Had Difficult Conversation ... Moving Forward
It's been a long time since I've posted, and given all of the problems I read about on this forum, we have it pretty good. That said, I want to share this story because it may help someone else. My DW is 56 and was diagnosed 6.5 years ago. The diagnosis was early but accurate (spinal tap and PET). The news was crushing.…
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So sad, my husband has passed
The Lord took my husband away this week after four years of battling Alzheimer. This disease came like a thief in the night. It seemed one day he was fine and then the next day things were not right with his memory. He had all the tests -- no stroke, and so the Neurologist said he had Alzheimer. He passed away in my arms.…
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What's new at this stage
My DH's appetite keeps decreasing. I fix only what he likes/wants, but he still eats so very little. Last time at the doctor's office, he weighed in at 120 fully dressed. He used to be 5'6" but has shrunk. They never measure his height, just his weight. Lately, it takes him a half an hour or more to eat what little he…
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Carousel Sliding Bath Bench - Easy To Use
Just saw this item; it sure does look much more user friendly than the "usual" bath bench that slides into a tub or shower that has a rise. It supports up to 330 pounds. While it appears to be really a good item, it is indeed pricey. The price does vary depending on the vendor. but it will be over $200. Yet . . . . . if…
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He said our friend came to see me.
DH and I have been married 54 years and have both been true to each other. Never has there been any doubt on either side about this...until now. We have a friend who has been helping us out with groceries since the pandemic started. When he goes to the store, he texts to see if we need anything. Usually I ask for milk and…
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latest covid numbers and please no magic dog turds
I ran the Covid numbers from yesterday 7 day average deaths 277 7 day average cases from 21 days before 15,393 Known infection Fatality Ratio 1.8 % Average covid Infections last 7 days 56.689 assuming all factors stay the same projected average deaths in 21 days 1000+ per day These people are already infected Virtually al…
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What happens to loved one if caregiver has emergency?
For all you folks who are caregiver 24/7 for your loved one, what steps have you taken if for some reason it is you who has the medical emergency? If your LO cannot get you emergency help? How is LO to be cared for if you are off to ER or hospitalization? The reason I ask is that my 96 yr old mother is 24/7 caregiver for…
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This is definitely a learning curve!
My husband and I just went away for a week in the North Carolina Mountains. We will receive his MRI results on Tuesday, but he failed the memory tests and is exhibiting some serious memory issues. The doctor has told me it is likely early stage Alzheimer's. I wanted us to have a special week together before that doctor's…
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My wife hates me now
My wife (62) was diagnosed with EO Alzheimers about six years ago. She was an accountant, and she noticed that she couldn't do her job effectively anymore. I noticed she was more forgetful and constantly losing her phone, but it wasn't too bad for the first few years. After about three years and a slow & decline, she asked…
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Another sign of spiraling down
My DW, as of three days ago has shown new signs of spiraling down in this awful disease of Alzheimer’s. She wants to go home. She told two granddaughters they were lying when they told her she was already home. She asked me to take her home. I took her for a ride in our neighborhood and came back to our home. I told her…
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Separate Beds
Good morning! I have not posted in awhile, but I have read alot of the frustrations this disease does to the ones who have it and the ones who are taking care of them!! I admire each and everyone of you who are doing this job!!! I hate we all have to be here!! I wanted to start out with kinds words, because I am sure some…