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Do you let your LO answer the phone?
Another telephone topic, I know we've had some before. We have to have a landline in our farmhouse, metal roof doesn't allow for adequate cell reception (plus there's an elevator, and there has to be a phone in the elevator for safety reasons). Can't block all the scam calls, which are multiple per day. My partner can't…
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Lack of family support is heartwrenching!
My DH's Mother passed away last week. She was 93 had late stage Alzheimer and lived in a nursing home. We live about 11 hours away. His daughter who he is estranged from called and told him about his Mom's passing. She said she would call back when arrangements were made for the funeral. His sister called him when he…
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Shxt storm, marathon ER visit, a fall, and hospice
I haven't posted in the last week or so because it has been absolute chaos here. 1. Spent 7 hours in the ER last week on Friday but at least we got the horrible balanitis under control. 2. Then, diarrhea set in (maybe antibiotic side effect?) and triggered bowel incontinence like I can't even explain. Luckily we have a…
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Look at Yourself
I filmed my husband having a meltdown before going into a rage, with the intent to show his neurologist to get drugs to help. I watched it when things had settled down and saw the following: He was clearly expressing his loss of function, which I missed. He clearly missed two things he had forgotten on a trip (his phone…
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Caregiver Profiles on Alzconnected .org
I've been on this forum for a little while now and found it very helpful getting ideas and suggestions from so many that have already been where I am undoubtedly headed. I'm not a prolific poster ( on this forum or other forums that I participate in) where I see other members have thousands of posts. When ever I ask a…
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Placement question
We are about to place my DH in Memory Care. He looks for me first thing in the morning, and comes out of bed at night to make sure I''m still here, and this is unbearable to me, knowing this will be the case as he becomes accustomed to his new surroundings. When our helper is here, he looks for me, although she''s able to…
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Wife out of hospital, back to MCF
After a week in the hospital on IV antibiotics, my wife is back to the MCF. To avoid another stressful ambulance ride, I picked her up at the hospital and delivered her to MCF. We were just in time for dinner, and she dat down and ate everything. She has difficulty eating, but she kept at it until finished. This was very…
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Respite - Off The Grid Style
This coming Saturday I am leaving for a weeks respite in the Allagash Wilderness Area of Northern Maine. I am going with my niece and we will be totally off the grid, we had to rent a satellite phone in case of an emergency. This is a trip my niece & I have talk about taking for the past 15 years and finally all the stars…
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Memory Care Tour
Yesterday I toured the only memory care facility in town. I live in St. Joseph, MO. There are several MC facilities 50 to 75 miles away but this is the only one close by. It is a private pay facility and charges $5,375 a month for memory care. The tour got off to a strange start when the director confused me with someone…
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How to fly with my DH
My DH was diagnosed summer of 2020 with probable Alzheimer's - not clear cut, has some outlying symptoms which don't necessarily go with it. He's not very strong and has knee pain which sometimes is fine, other times he is bothered quite a bit. Losing memories of friends and some family, and word recall difficulties.…
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Now what do I do?(1)
My husband’s aide has been the victim of his abuse for months. It’s only getting worse. The vile verbal violence is frightening and hurtful. The aide has dealt with many Alzheimer’s patients and confessed to me that my husband’s rages are the worst she has ever had to deal with. One of my daughters has the same mantra when…
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Surprise on steroids
My wife and I were listening to music on youtube, when she said "I need to take a bath". WHAT???? I'll take it! It's probably been about 2 years since she voluntarily got in the shower.
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New to Alz Caregiving
I am in the process of moving my girlfriend from Fresno, CA to Rochester, NY. I'm driving out to get her and pack what we can in a small trailer. In the process of finding an apartment, getting her into PACE and Medicaid, opening a pooled trust account, etc. It's a lot. I am truly at peace with the decision. She is in the…
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Finding part time help while I work
My husband has early onset Alzheimer’s and is retired. I still work full time and would like to explore finding someone to keep him company and help him manage his day when I am at work. He is highly functional but lacks enough activity to keep him busy. Has anyone faced an issue like this? I appreciate any insights.
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Caregiver workshop
I want to make it clear that I won't post information on the forum if it leads to something considered spam. But I received an email from someone I'm familiar with, and it concerns a 14 day workshop that costs less than $50.00. It's online, and I really think some of you who are really struggling can benefit from it.…
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Tomorrow is our 9th Anniversary, what do you recommend?
Tomorrow is our 9th Anniversary. I haven't planned anything or even reminded DH the significance of the day. Last year DH had someone take him to the store so he could buy a card for me. DH didn't have the ability to write anything in the card or put it in the envelope. I bought a card to give to DH. He doesn't have the…
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New song/video for Alzheimer’s just FYI
For those who like the music, singer Hayes Carll (Americana singer/songwriter) has a new acoustic song, and music video, on YouTube, called “Help Me Remember.” He has written elsewhere about his family experience with Alzheimer’s—especially his grandfather who was close—and the song is about that, and video talks about…
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New here(15)
Hi, I don’t know if I’m doing this correctly, but I wanted to post for the first time. I’m new here My spouse appears to have some sort of dementia hitting rapidly . Hard for doctors to determine whether alz or ppa ( primary progressive aphasia ). Whatever it is, I really thought it was Covid stress. Now here I am reaching…
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Ready to place but then he seems normal
Yesterday morning at 6:15 am, despite all of my safeguards, my DH “escaped.” I had been asleep, but my cameras alerted my cell phone that he was in the driveway. Quite often he does go out the front door, tries to get in my car, and when he can’t, comes right back in the house. I keep my eye on him the whole time on my…
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Concerned LO
I know that I am not the spouse of someone with dementia, however, I am concerned about my dad. My mom was diagnosed in April 2018 and since then my dad has been distant and destructive. I thought that he was dealing with things in his own way, but the longer it goes the worse it gets. He has friends, but doesn't…
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In-home caregiver fail
Today was our first attempt at having professional in-home care. The plan was that our person would come out, we would get comfortable with each other, and I would leave and go to work for 4 hours. We had a meet and greet last week, so this was not a total stranger, and the service had done a good workup on my spouse. We…
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She Refuses to Take Medicine
I searched using the term "refuses to take medicine" and found almost 400 posts. I'm sure in other posts there are many comments similar to what I'm experiencing with my wife. Rather than go through each one I'm going to use this space to rant. In two years every prescription med she has been prescribed she goes out of her…
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Just need to talk to my friends (156)
Hi, Thought it was time for 156 since we're having a hard time getting on the thread. I had this whole paragraph typed and it disappeared - touched the wrong key, I guess. Anyway, we have a new baby!! She was born sometime during the night, just south of the house in the garden. I looked that direction when I went out on…
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Basic Hygiene
What do you do when your spouse refuses to shower, bathe, or change clothes? I was managing the every other day, then the every few days, but I am not dealing with the total refusal to take care of basic hygiene. We are also refusing to wear pants these days. A few days ago we had a dental appointment, and I was insistent…
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Treatment of illiquid assets under Medicaid?
My DW is probably a couple of years out from our needing to apply for Medicaid but it is certainly in the cards. I have been working with an Elder Law Attorney and at our relatively young age (DW and I are both 68 years old) it seem the best course is a Medicaid approved annuity and me taking advantage of the Community…
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Sending Wife to Respite Care for My Back Surgery
I desperately need back surgery to relieve extreme nerve pain in my legs. After 8 months of treatments this is what I'm down to. Surgery is scheduled for Oct 6th. Doctor said I'll be able to care for myself but not DW. My Son and I went back and forth between in home care for DW or Respite Care in a facility. There were to…
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Trying to cope and have patience
I am new to this site but having been dealing with my husband's changes for over 15 years. He was finally diagnosed with FTD, vascular dementia and Alzheimer's about 2 years ago. The last year we have seen much greater changes and it seems daily has a new look. He is still driving and pretty much handles his daily needs -…
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AD - Myoclonus connection
Hi All, I asked about Myoclonus in the early AD message board but didn't get more than one response, so I apologize for also asking here. My mother-in-law is late stage AD and shows prominent and frequent right foot Myoclonus episodes. My wife shows very mild right foot Myoclonus (triggered by emotional moments) and I am…
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Putting things in perspective
I was telling a friend about all the normal couples I saw this weekend having fun and about friends who just got back from three days at the beach and had a great time. She reminded me how my friend’s daughter died two years ago and that she is sad everyday. I will get past my husband’s dementia and eventual death but I…
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Perspectives
Recently,my DW’s best friend—I’ll call her Rose—came from the left coast for a week’s visit. Rose and DW have been close friends since they were 12; she was my DW’s first friend when DW came to the US. Because of Covid, Rose hadn’t seen DW in almost 2 years. Over the many years, Rose and I have also become good friends.…