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Help to find missing objects
I am trying to figure out how to help my mother who is very often trying to locate things my father has misplaced. My dad's cane is one of the objects which often goes missing. I am wondering how to attach an air tag or other such locator device to a cane which has no wrist strap or other obvious area to attach to. My…
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Memory Care is not Skilled Nursing
In this state (CT), and maybe everywhere (?) memory care facilities are considered assisted living. This was driven home to me in the last few days at the MCF. My wife has been very restless and walked herself to exhaustion. The staff worried she would fall, but could not devote a caregiver 100%. At the LPN’s request I…
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Air Tags
This may have been covered before but I wanted to let you know there is something out there that can make your life so much earier. When I switched phone companies for my mobile phone they were offering a free iphone with the switch. Since mine was nearly 9 years old I took them up on their offer. I noticed an app that…
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The Spork(1)
DH is a good eater but struggles to finish everything on his plate/bowl. I use a flexible plastic plate guard to keep him from shoving food over the side of the plate and I sit catty-corner to him, on his left, and move the food into position throughout his meal. He does as well as can be expected, with perception…
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This is for Josey and others
If you have a family member(s) that don't agree with your decisions......... Family disagree with your caregiver decisions?
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Trying to have a future
I hope to go to Germany next week. I am fully vaccinated and boostered. I did my undergraduate thesis on the Nuremburg war crimes trials and and Ive lectured in Germany many times since 1980. I have lots of friends there. I am trying to build a future All care taking for DW is in order. Family and therapists are all…
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VENT: I did some stupid things & there were consequences
It has been a difficult day. The caregiving has been mostly par for the course. But I made some stupid choices and mistakes and created a real tar-baby. I loaded the dishwasher with the fork tines facing up. When I was unloading the dishwasher, I poked my thumb to the point that it bled A LOT! Later, I was tired and hungry…
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“What are you doing here”?
That’s how my wife greeted me today at the MCF. The first full coherent sentence in months! I answered that I was there to visit her, and she took my hand and we walked round and round and up wings and out doors and back in for an hour and a half. This is her daily activity, several hours per day. The staff has been having…
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New about respite stay in Tunisia
Last Sunday, I left Tunisia. It was very easy as my partner preferred to stay there. He continues saying « everything is nice here, and how people are nice! » The caregiver send me pictures and small movie every day. I call them every evening. A typical day is - 7:30-9:00 getting up, shower, shaving… and cleaning the room…
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Give away some assets, and still qualify for medicaid?
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/better-than-no-loaf-medicaid-planning-using-half-a-loaf-strategies-18522?
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Cherjer
I'm posting this here because you might not see the answer on the topic where you posted. Cherjer wrote: I am wondering how one gets in touch privately with a person on this site. Let's say you wanted to have a private conversation with me. You will see that I made this post because my name (Ed1937) will appear next to the…
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TMI but need help (genital issue)
Posting in 2 forums to get as much help as possible. https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?tid=2147558387&g=posts&t=2147558387
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bed sore or pressure sore
DW just got her very first pressure injury It was from sitting in a regular chair with an inadequately padded horizontal wooden beam under her leg. we need to keep it from becoming a pressure ulcer Pressure injuries start as red, blue, or purplish patches on the body. They don't blanch, or turn white, when touched and they…
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Birthday surprise
Just for fun: yesterday was my birthday. I turned 75! My son stopped by and installed a set of toilet safety rails for DH. I said “I’m not sure how well these will work. Sometimes DH tries to sit sideways on the toilet; he might not figure it out.” My smart a** kid said, “Well, in that case, Happy Birthday to you.…
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and smetimes we just need to remember
It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore. "Hello Eeyore," said Pooh. "Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet," said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice. "We just…
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Buy the Bright Shiny Thing or face the verbal assaults?
DH and I have been through this several times. I used to give in, but now i'm paying for home aide, and stock market drop has made me feel less "rich." He has no ability to use the things he wants, and they're not cheap. But now I face his wrath when I give all kinds of logical reasons and options. I've been advised to…
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Elder Care lawyers(2)
Wow did I have an interesting experience finding an elder care lawyer. The first one I met with was highly recommended by members of a support group. She absolutely said I must get an Irrevocable trust and wanted $5000 plus $1000 a year. I asked her about an annuity and she said she’d never heard of that. I met with…
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What if you don't love your spouse with dementia?
This is a very hard question to pose, but one which I struggle with every day. My DH and I are a second marriage, and it has been a rocky one. More than once I wanted to walk away, but after being divorced once and starting over, that idea became harder to imagine, especially as I got older. My DH is very controlling, and…
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Sharing a win
I have not been on the site regularly in a while. Things have gotten difficult. DH is fast approaching stage 7. Then my 92 year old father lost his ability to walk and is currently under hospice care. My brother is living with him 24/7 and I go up to give him a break every couple of weeks. They live two hours away. I was…
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Doctor has prescribed Trazadone
My DH been diagnosed with MCI by his PCP. We are trying to get in to see a neurologist, but our appointment was cancelled due to COVID. The doctor is only doing telehealth visits with existing patients right now. We see the PCP November 2, and I plan to ask for a referral to a different neurologist. In the meantime, DH has…
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My brain is tired
DH woke up last Thursday morning quite ill with diarrhea and vomiting. Each time left him weak and shaky. I helped him back to bed and tried to calm him and reassure him but each time it happened, he said he needed to be in the hospital. I thought he had stomach flu like I had a few months ago. Then I happened to pat his…
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great day yesterday
Our anniversary was yesterday. He remembered. We live in MA so we decided to take the train into Boston to go to our favorite restaurant in the North End. Haven't been there in years. I was nervous to take the train and walk from station to the restaurant. That went fairly well but the walk back was a little more…
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Our CELA experience
I’m telling about my wife’s and my experience with a CELA to hopefully lessen the fears others may have concerning meeting with such an attorney. Several years ago my wife and I visited with an attorney to have our wills, POA’s, etc made up.After reading various comments on this forum about having a CELA involved, we…
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Josey
Josey, how are you ? I haven’t seen a post from you for at least 2 weeks I think. I know you are back to teaching and also you are about to place your husband. I just wanted to know if everything was ok for you.
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Losing the ability to communicate
I don't remember seeing any posts where people are having the same problem we are. I know we have some new members who may not know the story behind my wife, so I'll tell it once again. She is a retired registered nurse, who worked in different places during her career. The place she loved the most was where she worked the…
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Home modification- financial help
Would Alzheimer’s, Medicare or any organization help financially? I am planning to have the bath tub to walk in shower conversion and grab bars put in the bathroom for DH who has Dementia.
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Filing an Article 81 Guardianship
Anyone have experience filing an Article 81 Guardianship on behalf of their spouse? My husband, who has Lewy Body Dementia, and I are fighting financial abuse by my POA stepson but now a lawyer for my husband claims my DH suddenly wants a divorce from me! (again). My husband tells ME he does NOT want a divorce and the…
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Someone asked me to give them information that would help caregivers for an article. So, I wrote the
I will give you a bunch of bullet points and if interested we can speak about the ones you would like to know about so you can write the article. You must be come a detective if you want to become a good caregiver. Need to learn to think outside the box Expect the worse of thinks and if you are surprised you did not…
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Update on respite
Hi all, Well, my wife has been in respite care for over a week, I’ve had my hernia surgery, and we both are doing very well. It was the right thing to place her a week in advance, as it allowed me time to get everything in line for the procedure, and to get several nights of good sleep. If anyone else needs to place an LO…
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It has been a while
I am happy to see some familiar posters and also a lot of new posters. It has been 3.5 years since my first post on this board; then I took time off to allow myself to grief and to prioritize things we have to do to prepare us for the near future. One of the big change was an across the country move I decided to bring us…