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Taking Away The Credit Card
My father was recently diagnosed with Alz. He understands the situation. Always had a very argumentative relationship with my mother and there are some trust issues. Now I received this from my mom: "A few days ago, your father was listening to a medical sales pitch on the internet, he was convinced that it was a product…
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Long time reader and now DH officially diagnosed with MCI
Not very computer savy and hope this is posted in the right place. Thank you for all the great information and ideas and expect to be a poster from now on. Am in Nevada and DH and I are elder citizens in late 70's, early 80's,
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Need Advice
My mom has dementia and its been hard lately because I can't fix it. Like everyone else no one wants to see their loved one going through anything like this. How do you manage with everything you want to do anything for them but in reality, you can't. It can be overwhelming, stressful and of course depressing because I…
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From Maybe to Reality 4
Family had a big birthday party for DH (ALZ). I was afraid that it would be too much for him but he had the time of his life and at age 90, he danced every dance. The only think that I noticed was when 2 of the grandsons came over to the house before the party and spent time alone with him. He was telling some of his life…
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Trusting the "Experts"
This is my first time posting on this website. I am almost 60 years old and my 90 year old mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. She and my father live in an RCAC 2 hours away from where my sister and I live. In the past few months my mom's memory has declined and has required more care. She and my dad have been…
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PACE and LIFE in NJ, is this my only hope?
As I try to learn "what can be" for my elderly Mom who is caring for my Dad with vascular dementia….I feel I am loosing precious time. Time is focused on the worst instead of connecting with my Father. Should anything happen to my Mom, I need to have an emergency plan in place. My parents do not have a plan. Has anyone…
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Arguing
This was on my facebook and I thought it was so relevant for us dealing with dementia I thought I would share. Relevant for both the pwd and difficult family. Helen Mirren once said: Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of a different perspective.…
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Dealing with the pain from LO tell me to get out.
My mom and I have always been very close we've either lived together or next door to each for most of my life. She has been my rock and me hers my entire life. She got really sick with covid then rehab, then sick again with stomach issues in hospital for almost 3 weeks then back to rehab took much longer to get her…
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Flood in bathroom
Last night he left sink on and the sink was already clogged, so water went everywhere and damaged downstairs unit and we are liable for the damage I just cannot live like this and don't care about him anymore But I don't want him to engage with others because he does not make sense when he talks He talks in riddles but I…
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When Hospice?
How early is too early for hospice? My LO has been in a MCF almost a year- is physically mobile (seeks exit & agitated due to sundowning increase) - capable of feeding & toileting herself. Also very depressed, cries much of the day and won’t socialize even though capable. Medication changes haven’t helped with her…
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Mom swings from engaged to zombie
Hello all, I’ve been caring for my 91 year old mom with Alzheimer’s for 5 years, along with my sister and a team of in-home PSWs. Over the last 8 months mom will have periods where she is zombie-like, barely awake, sleeps a lot, almost slurs her words, not interested in anything. Then within a week she is back to her…
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I’m so frustrated and scared
My DH has been doing fairly well but the last week he’s really failed. He had ear surgery and ever since has been so confused with delusion after delusion. He wet the bed last night for the first time ever and is refusing to wear depends tonight. He says he doesn’t need it. Can anybody suggest anything for tonight and also…
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I keep trying to take control
I am trying to help but I am really trying take control of everything, and it only makes things worse I think he knows I am doing this and he gets mad and I know I should just leave him alone.
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Need advice/support on next steps
DH is Stage 5 moving to 6. He is pretty good in the morning but gets confused and has sun downing in the afternoon/evening along with some delusions and hallucinations. He can be agitated and angry at times but that is not frequent at this time. I still work full time and had a companion with him who abruptly quit a few…
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Caregiving daily and trying to prepare for the future
How do you keep 1 foot in the here and now: care giving, taking care of everything and also tackle more long term things? The cavalry's not coming and I know i am in charge. I take care of DH and all the day to day stuff. I also think about the future, so much needs to be done. Deferred mainenance for over 10 yrs. DH has a…
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Transition into memory care
I moved my mom into memory care 10 days ago. She loves when I take her for rides or out to eat. Do you think it is okay for me to take her to my house some days? Or should I let her get acclimated to her new home first? So far she hasn't fought going back but I have only taken her on rides or to stores.
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Unable to change soiled clothing
** update** Thanks for the advice and words of encouragement. For some reason DH decided to change his clothing. He could not do it on his own. He let me help. Smelly clothing is now pre-soaking in washer. * * * * * * * * * * * * My DH with vascular dementia and Alzhiemer's hadn't showered or bathed for a few years.…
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Determining "Stages"
Caring for my DH will be made easier if I can determine where he is in his progression. I noticed that many of the posts mention "Stage 3" or "Stage 6". I am not familiar with this staging technique. On the Alzheimer Assoc website there are three stages mentioned. Can someone help me understand the difference? Thanks for a…
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Psychiatric Drugs for Alzheimer's patients
My parent has stage 4 Alzheimer's. My parent is in her mid 70s and is not happy with being at memory care which she arrived at 6 months ago. She just isn't adjusting well, won't engage in activities, stays in her room a lot, talks about leaving all the time, is depressed to be at memory care and is anxious. In the past few…
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Issues editing comments
@ALZCModerator6 Anyone else having issues editing comments they’ve posted? I select edit on my comment. The box comes up. However when I start to type my edit, the box disappears. My user name on my comment changes to ‘member’ and my verbiage is gone. If I cancel out of the edit, my original comment is still just as it…
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Sleepiness
Hi - I’m new here. My mom is the primary caregiver of my dad diagnosed this past year with stage 4 Alzheimer’s. My mom is very unaccepting of the diagnosis and keeps hoping for a cure or that any medication he takes will improve his memory. One of the main issues is my dad’s sleepiness. Is this common? He wakes up in the…
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DW realized her memory loss
My DW had the realization that she has a memory problem. Her two children confirmed it to her. Whether she accepts it or not remains to be seen. She has always called me a liar when I told her that she has become forgetful.
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Getting a Diagnosis
Hi All, I'm new here. Over the past several months my mom has been experiencing severe paranoia and delusions. She thinks the house is bugged, the neighbors broke in to steal her house phone, the FBI is coming to get her, etc. Some of her stories have gotten incredibly dark and concerning, including texting family at late…
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The Pain of Putting Parents in Nursing home
I feel so much pain and sorrow putting my parents into a nursing home. They both have dementia and seem to be spiraling further down since I put them in the nursing home just weeks ago. Both of them seem to not like their situation. It just hurts so much to have them suffer and it causes me great pain and grief.
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Update on Memory Care transition
My DH has been in MC now for 34 days. He continues to have delusions about his safety and mine, but I have found that he starts down that path if I am with him too long and there are no outside activities going on. So for now what is working is coming for scheduled walks and bus rides on Tues. and Thursday, and taking him…
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How to treat impending trauma?
Alzheimer's seems to take the whole family down. What are the ways to avoid that? I've been watching self-help videos about treating trauma. The videos I've come across address past trauma and how it impacts your physical and mental well-being. But what about those of us who are walking towards trauma? We're in the midst…
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Why do they have to be so angry?
My husband has had alzy for 4 years. He is so verbally abusive to me. Like telling me I'm fat, I'm not good enough. He loves to see me get mad when he says these things. I use to talk back, however that doesn't work. So now I don't respond. Is this normal?
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Hello!
My dad was diagnosed with late on-set Alzheimer's dementia type with depression in October of 2024. Although I have suspected for 4 years before his diagnosis. I have been living with him for 15 years, so I noticed the changes in his memory and how his brain worked as it was happening. I also have a daughter with her own…
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Re: Grandson Wants to Watch his grandmother
Hello, I have a question: My nephew (a police detective) his wife and children want to have lunch with their grandmother, and he seems to want me to leave. They say it's so I can take a break. They've never watched her alone before and have two young children, 3 and 8 years old. I've been my mother's caregiver for nearly…