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Self care easier said than done!
Hoot my DH was diagnosed about 1 year ago. I am also in recovery 31 years, but it is hard to make meetings. As a result I ended up in the hospital about 3 weeks ago for depression for 5 days. When I got home I discovered that I wasn’t taking any of my antidepressants, I knew in January I quit taking a second one my doctor…
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I need advice please(1)
My DH has this thing he does every day and it's getting worse. He says "well, i've gotta go" says he has to go home and see his mother............home has been sold many years and his mother has been dead for many years. He fusses all day about going home, sometimes he gets really angry I won't give him the truck…
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Missing My Wife
I turned 65 yesterday. And my DW didn't know. My DW of 43 years, my girlfriend since we were both 15. My other half (in the very least - probably more like 70%). She's 65 as well and lives somewhere in the nebulous "moderate" stage of ALZ, still at home with me, and is doing very well, all things considered. But, so much…
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Our daughter and my sister came over
Dw's favorite people , but DW is out of it again. Hopefully she will come out of it for a while. It usually makes a big difference when they are here. Daughter is trying to shave her doesn't sound like it is getting done. It is past time for hair to be cut BUT how. I use to trim the front but am now scared to try it. DW…
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My Dear Wife just passed
Hello Everyone, My dear wife of 43 years, together for 49, passed away from this life July 26. She had been living in MC for the last 2 years. She was a very healthy 66 year old, but developed pneumonia, and died within days of the diagnosis. Her family was by her side when she took her last breath. I was (am) devastated,…
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when do you stop doing normal things?
DW is well into stage 5. I have to make nearly every decision, frequently assist with getting dressed, assist with all housekeeping, remind or prompt her doing almost anything. Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is just beyond her ability to do by herself any more, even if I open jars, put out the ingredients and a…
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Male vs female patients
I am realizing that it is easier for memory care units to have female patients. My husband is friendly and social but since all the caregivers are young women he sometimes gets too frisky. He also mildly threatens them when they ask him to do things because I think he likely does not like being told what to do by a young…
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Medication questions
My wife's medical journey began with lamotrigine for epilepsy 10 years ago. Then when she was diagnosed with EOD a year and a half ago she took aricept. Approximately 6 months ago she was very depressed, couldn't stop obsessing over death. The start of delusions and hallucinations. She took effexor and that really worked…
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Arghhhhhh
I just keep hitting road blocks, the area agency on aging called, dw is medically approved, her pae was accepted. So she can get tn care choices. I called the sw about sending referrals to the 2 nursing homes that I have checked out, he won't send them because she doesn't qualify on a passr. Qualifying means she has to…
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Newbie Here(1)
Hello everyone! I am new here and so lost in conflicting information and suggestions. My Wife's "Memory Doctor" suggested I come here and connect with people that are going through this or have been through a spouse diagnosed with moderate to severe Alzheimer's. I don't know where to even begin preparing. on the internet I…
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CELA vs regular attorney
Our attorney helped us draft our poa’s, health surrogate forms, and wills about five years ago, and we just updated them last week. I took my DH name off of mine, and replaced it with my niece, as we don’t have children. Our finances are quite simple and we both have long term care insurance policies. I’m wondering if…
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I hate my life!
I've been taking care of my DH who has FTD for 7.5 years and I've had it. I've lived through his rage, his narcissism, have had things thrown at me, his accusations, his delusions, his hallucinations, his controling behavior, and his sarcasm. I had him in MC a while and he got thrown out because "they couldn't handle him".…
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Fine line between being respectful and being realistic
My DH is at the stage where he can still remember some things and yet not others. So we have a Zoom meeting this week with some partners where we have to make some decisions. I told him about this meeting but I will be getting on at work so we won't be able to join the meeting together. We did a practice run tonight with…
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Goofy conversation
Yesterday afternoon my DH was in the kitchen fixing a PBJ when the cat walked by. DH looked at me and said “Did he just say hello?” I said, “I think he did,” and we both cracked up laughing. I don’t know if he had an audio hallucination or was just messing with me. Or maybe the cat did say hello.
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VA Benefits - Staring into the Abyss
Just to be clear, I'm posting this information as forewarning for others - not to ask for ideas or sympathy. At this point in the struggle to find help caring for my DH with vascular dementia and a side order of dangerous psychotic behavior, I am clinging to a ledge and staring into the abyss. The emotional and physical…
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Transfer Trama
I thought it might be worth posting this as it will happen to most of us who have to place in a MCF. But what surprised me was it is not just for the pwd it happens to the caregiver and I believe I suffered from having my Dw go to a geripych. I was sick for about 8 days. Some folks have talked about the strategies to help…
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I am very blessed
My heart hurts for so many of you who have to deal with so many more problems than I have. My 85 year old husband wasn't diagnosed formally until last year, and we were told by the neurophysiologist that there were several factors predictive if a slow progression for the disease. I can see changes but he is still fairly…
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How to move on humanely?
DBF has about reached the point where he needs more care than I can give him. He can still dress himself, cook if supervised. He goes down to his shop and putts around for a few hours a day. His sister and I used to keep an eye on him but she recently passed away from cancer. Since then, I've been taking care of him by my…
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I am not sure my wife is coming back this time
My wife had the longest psychotic episode ever, it is still ongoing. It started at 3 in the morning Sunday. She is a text book Jekyll/Hyde behavior. Sweet and loving one minute spitting venom the next. That is what I have been referring to as psychotic episodes is the Hyde part of her behavior. There is no talking or…
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First day in MC
DH was transferred to memory Care from the hospital. He had broken his ankle in 2 places over 2 weeks ago. MC is in the bldg next to our independent living apt. I visited him and was happy that the staff was so welcoming etc. He has trouble getting up out of his recliner. He is wearing a boot. He had to use the bathroom…
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Covid at the geripsych
I was just getting ready to go visit and see the sw,when I got a call, they have positive cases at the unit and my wife is positive with no symptoms. I hung up before asking if they were going to treat her duh. Now I can't get thru. They shut the unit down for 5 to 7 days. They require visitors to be masked and I always…
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Socializing during Covid
DH was diagnosed with MCI last year, we have pretty well kept to ourselves last 2 + years, DH is 84, very few of his friends are alive nearby if any. Last week my daughter & family from England came to visit us after 3 years. I noticed a definite improvement in DH while we socialized with them. During 36 years of marriage,…
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Forum Messaging is on the Fritz
Apparently, no one cares to fix it. Reported twice.
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Suggestions for a GPS Tracker/Watch
Hi Everyone: I am in need of suggestions for a digital watch with gps tracking features. Nothing too fancy as DH has challenges figuring out gadgets. Appreciate your suggestions.
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All mixed up
Nine years ago I retired early to care for my mom, dad, and husband (all in dementia) in two homes two miles apart. Tonight we have four homes amongst us. My mom went to heaven last Christmas. My husband is in memory care sharing a room with who he believes is his wife. My ninety eight year old dad’s house is empty…
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Immobility and Bowel Incontinence
I frequent the boards every day to read and get some advice. But now, I need to ask for help. My DH is immobile, and at the moment can use a sit to stand device to get up from bed and chair. He is only out of bed around five hours a day. I believe he has become bowel incontinent. He didn't know last night that he had…
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Hearing Aids?
My DH was approved for hearing aids last year by the ENT. Trouble is, he loses everything and every day we are on the hunt for something. I am also not sure if hearing better would add another confusion dimension for him. He's at the point where we can barely communicate sine he has trouble processing words and sentences…
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Memory Care- Don't wait to long to place LO
I'm Hoot and I always planned on taking care of DW at home. I hadn't realized how it was taking a toll on me and also on Jan my DW. It's getting so I can't keep Me under control, I try to do the right things but it just doesn't work out. DW is constantly hollering at me and I end up doing the same. Any thing I try to for…
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Is Memory Care A Marketing Term?
I listened to a recorded presentation from a CELA in Wisconsin, and learned a lot about medical and financial poa’s, as well as financing long term care. She stated that memory care is a marketing term used by the industry to attract patients with dementia and charge extra fees. In Wisconsin at least, it is not a medical…
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Steady state covid Currently 500 deaths a day
Covid has become endemic in the USA the current death toll is about 500 per day for a comparison there are about 67 homicides per day in the USA Alzheimer's patients remain at very high risk https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid19/excess_deaths.htm