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What to do(2)
My DH is angry that he doesn’t have a car (lost his license so I sold the car). He is pressuring me relentlessly about going to car dealers so he can buy another one. That’s all he talks about all day. He is verbally abusive, indulges in name calling and is miserable to be around. I am soooooo tired of hearing how awful I…
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I'll be a good boy.
Those words tore another hole in my heart. We were lying in bed and he had just told me he loved me. Then he said he didn't want to be put into a home. He wanted to be in this home. Then he said, "I'll be a good boy. I'll be a good guy. Are you going to put me in a home? I don't mean to make it difficult for you." Lying…
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Lassie, get help
For those who like heart-warming shaggy dog stories. I was away for one night on a business trip. Our long-standing and wonderful aide stayed with DW. The next morning, the aide was getting dressed while DW was still in bed. Usually, DW needs a lot of encouragement, and often support, to get up and out of bed. And we never…
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Cleaning up bodily fluids
My husband has had diarrhea since 9/1/22. He has been seen by has physician and specialist and there is a plan of action. The real problem is he is leaving poop everywhere and I have to clean it up. I’m thinking of placement because I cannot handle his constant mess. Thoughts ?
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Moving my spouse to assisted living memory care - emotions
My wife has mid stage Alzheimer's. I will be moving her to an assisted living memory care facility next month. She has aphasia, phobias come and go, afraid all the time. lots of crying, I am the caregiver. Help with all the meals, bathing, dressing to some extent. All her meds and she is a Type 1 diabetic requiring insulin…
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Sleeping During the Day
My wife has AD and we are about 4 years into it. She has been diagnosed and has many of the common symptoms. She gets 8-9 hours of sleep a night but also takes naps during the day. She is 82 years old. Part of the reason is she has nothing she wants to do and is bored. Should I be trying to find things for her to do or…
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How to deal with adult/conversation needs - coping
My wonderful wife of 22 years was diagnosed 3 years ago. She is the sweetest person in the world and his disease is so unfair as you all know Sex is almost gone, and that is extremely important but just as important is human conversation, humor and understanding. Online is tempting but there’s so much garbage that it’s a…
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Heads up about Amazon
I'm sure this also applies to other sites too. I've been browsing new computers. I found a youtube video on one computer that I kinda watched. The video was from 2020, and the price of the computer was $548.00. There was also a link to Amazon for this particular computer. Same specs, but the price is now listed at $699.00!…
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Our Descent into the Rabbit Hole
Lately, I've been reading blogs and watching YouTube clips on caregivers’ journey with their LOs. Does anyone care to share yours? If too painful to stroll down this path/memory lane, please forgive and ignore me. Mine has been quite unusual and I wonder if others might have experienced something similar. Please be…
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O.T Blues
https://youtu.be/op3AfST9Nnc I happen to like blues music. I find the lyrics meaningful and the instrumentals gripping. A good blues guitar always gets my attention. Strangely, I feel better when I listen to the blues. The above link is to Joe Bonamassa playing and singing Sloe Gin. I hope you enjoy it. David
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Neurologist appointment yesterday
Hi All, We had our first visit with a neurologist yesterday, and he has ordered a CT, angiogram, and EEG. They administered the Montreal Mental Exam, with borderline results (25). I have to say though that they were easy graders, as he couldn’t remember the word list until they provided lots of prompts, then gave him full…
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Switching from Exelon patch 4.6 mg to tablets
Has anyone experienced skin irritation due to the patch. LO will be switching to Exelon tablets soon. Any feedback on switching to Exelon 1.5 mg tablets twice a day from patch of 4.6 mg?
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Just wondering if others agree with my thoughts
This is from another thread: Cecil J wrote:it seems only men post these type of questions. I agree and I don't know why that's true? I'll take a shot at that. In our society, it seems to be taken for granted that men are the ones who are always after the "other woman". That seems to be OK because so many men do that. But…
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Tardive Diskinesia
Well DH has been struggling with various symptoms . It looked like he was restless, twitchy . And anxious. We thought he was struggling with constipation ( he is ) or maybe it was related to the seizures he has been having this year. His symptoms include: blinking his eyes,smacking/ licking his lips , moving his tongue…
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Lack of managed care plan and communication
My husband was admitted to a memory care facility in July. I joined this forum at that time hoping to get information about what to expect in facility management and other’s experiences in dealing with facility staff, etc. After 3 months at this facility, Bill has “eloped” once and fallen twice. He is diabetic and his…
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Need to work - can it be done from home?
Hi - I'm new to this situation. My DH has difficulty with some daily living tasks - he just can't seem to get through to the next step and gets stuck in a loop (multiple layers of clothing, bedtime routines, remembering to eat). I have a leave of absence of work that's about to end. I need health insurance myself as a…
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New retirement part 2
Thank you for all your thoughtful replies. To answer a few questions- we have been married 15 years with 2 children each. I have 2 girls in early 30's w/ babies, he has 1 girl early 30's with baby and 1 boy 29. We have always kept our finances separate and also have newly minted separate Wills and Trusts. I own the home…
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New retirement
This is probably not the correct message board to air my feelings but here it goes… My DH was diagnosed with MCI over a year ago. I have not been happy in our marriage for several years before that. Now looking back his behaviors could have been from this early MCI diagnosis. He became difficult to deal with. Everything…
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Exelon patch?
Has anyone used the Exelon patch? My wife is on Namenda XR 21mg. and I believe it's gone as far as it's going go at this point. She is going to the Neurologist this coming Monday and I was thinking about asking to try this medication. We have a Nurse Practitioner friend who has switched some of his clients from Namenda to…
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My turn to announce…
I read lot of bad news, that were for some a relief, for others a huge emptiness, a terrible tear… He left us yesterday evening, just after I left his room ant launched Clapton CD. Perhaps, even sedated, he felt I was now ready. Strangely, I seem to be the less devastated. I think I cried so much for 4 1/2 years that I was…
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How to increase hospice care
After a TIA and two bd falls, my husband was taken by ambulance to the hospital this morning. There are no injuries, no brain bleed. However he is diminished cognitively and not ambulatory (he walked a mile on Monday). He got here because he cannot be redirected. Last night he had (under a hospice nurse’s supervision)…
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Not Shingles, much, much worse. My cautionary tale
I posted a while back that I got shingles. Well it turns out that I don't have Shingles, what I have turns out to be far, far worse. I know this is going to sound outrageous but I have finally been properly diagnosed and I have developed an extremely rare Autoimmune condition, the most virulent version of a blistering skin…
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I have to say it
There are some options that are better than other options, but there are no solutions. After 7.5 years I placed DW in memory care. Much is better, much stays the same or feels worse. In conclusion: I hate this f#^<ing disease!
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MC recommendations in SF Bay area
I’m starting the process of vetting MC communities close (within 10 miles) to Pacifica, CA. Being my wife’s almost exclusive caregiver, my research time is limited so I am hoping to leverage the experience of others in this forum to offer some suggestions on facilities with which they’ve had positive experience. From there…
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Too much stuff
I'm winning something every day. Today's email had the subject line - YOu hàaVe won an NiiNJa -DualBreW - |Pro
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I place DH in MCF
I placed the love of my life in a private MCF last week. The story is that I have to have surgery and he is in this facility for "awhile" because I can't care for him while I am recovering. He is only 71 and feels he is with all these "old people" and wants to leave. He has been trying to escape every chance he gets for a…
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I’m burning out
My first time posting. DH of 53 yrs was finally diagnosed 2 years ago with vascular dementia even though we’ve been dealing with issues and testing for nearly 10 years. The year prior to diagnosis in a 6 month period he had shingles, 2 Tia’s and a brain bleed that damaged both frontal lobes. He is 75.Fortunately for me he…
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just for fun(1)
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/06/us/fat-bear-week.html?unlocked_article_code=jo9E_GFruwKtWrzPVAyC6SdWZhBKTIGgLZK6kND4c8f5BnYDel9AwtQufxn_thqvECdwbNN0em6FQVvEMQ7AUj0ubV8FUTCJ71PizcpB1-_BuIh3aunwOPer1vIVoMTbRMLCXgPB8GQ9HpJovdueUyvzhvAm2kk03N1oTcgyzQ4ZlA2KY8Wz69hxpbvhCHAYgyVwFgweaVZ3D2DvWYv3wUX1nnC8yTmh50Kwl4pkh0unwmNm2svezO…
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Checking in - early October
This is my second post. I'm new to these message boards and am learning the ins-and-outs of how to post. I took your advice and consulted with an certified elder care lawyer. It was helpful and I am now getting medical and financial POAs drafted. We also are working on revising our will and other estate paperwork as per…
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Coping with loss
Still new to these threads and I'm experiencing things that many of you have already experienced and so I write, looking for a few answers. I realize that this journey shows us many losses, but tonight, one particular loss has hit me like a ton of bricks. We had planned so many things for our retirement, DH retired two…