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Please help me. I need a hug
I don’t know where to turn. My husband, who is somewhere around stage 6 AD, had a stroke three weeks ago. He is paralyzed on his right side and is unlikely to improve. My daughters came to help us, for which I am very grateful. Today we moved my husband to the best assisted living, extended nursing care facility in the…
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Why do they think we cheat on them?
My wife went into the hospital on Thursday, and she told everyone that I had a girlfriend. This is the fifth day in a row she's talking about it. She told me today that through all the years we've been together, she never questioned me, but now she can't trust me. But she did tell me she loved me. I'll take it! But I'd…
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Care for the Caregiver
I'm new to being a caregiver and have definitely made some mistakes. I know I need help. Many resources keep reminding caregivers to take care of ourselves, but seriously, how? It's 24/7 care. DH doesn't trust anyone, which now includes me, so I can't consider outside help to get relief. I make the mistake of leaving him…
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One more question before tomorrow morning
My wife has a lot of beautiful peonies growing now. I was thinking about taking a bunch to the hospital for her tomorrow morning. Would this be a mistake? I'm thinking it might make her ask more about me getting her out of there to come home. But I'm certain she would like them. Comments?
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Anyone want to chat today?
It's 1pm eastern time here in California. I will be in/out of both chats rooms if someone needs/wants to chat. Nicole
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Update from poo corner
hi everyone, Just wanted to update you all about my husband and his kitchen sink antics. I had posted this before that my husband left turds in the kitchen sink. Someone from the forum suggested a board to cover the sink. I thought about it and realized I had a big cutting board so I started to cover the drain in the sink.…
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Today I was reminded…
I posted not long ago about waiting for the ball to drop…. My DH has been seemingly “normal” for a few weeks. I had started to wonder if it was because he wasn’t in a situation where he had to really use his brain…. He does his normal back exercises in the morning and goes for a walk every day. But most of our evenings are…
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Jaecamille
Welcome to the forum. You found a good one, but I'm sorry you need to be here. In another thread you posted "I just placed DH in respite care on May 16th of this year....the Dr wants me to place him somewhere permanent for ongoing care.. I do not want to because of my finances...and yet caring for him at home is growing…
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I finally cried
I had a call from the chaplin at the hospital. After talking to me for several minutes, she asked me if she could say a prayer for us. I don't consider myself much of a religious man, but I agreed. When she finished, I had tears running down both cheeks. Through her words, I could see our whole lives together, up to and…
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Cell phone for DH with Alzheimers
My husband of 35 years has mid-range Alzheimers. He can still communicate well but cannot figure out how to use a cell phone any more. I need something very simple, with no passcode, that will allow him to call me and a few others and to reach 911. I also need to be able to track the phone, and him. I've looked at the RAZ…
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Information For Those Beginning Movement Toward NH or MC Placement
The link is an excellent and lengthy overview of so much regarding many NH dynamics; kind of a "how to" model: Chapter 1: Before Your Mother Enters The Nursing Home | Illinois Citizens for Better Care Input from Members: From "King Boo:" However, in the event this information is at all useful to anyone on the boards, here…
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Appt advice
I have my dw scheduled for a doctor's visit. I need some advice about how to handle her. She has a bump on her neck not to bad. It had gotten red and I told her I was going to scheduled a visit for it. Of course she doesn't remember that. I told her the other day again I was going to scheduled a visit and she was becoming…
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Decision made
I have made the decision to place my husband and have plans set in motion. He will have an assessment next week and I have no doubt he will be accepted. He will be in a shared room but for now it will be only him in it to give him time to get used to everything. There are three other men in the unit who are active and one…
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Not sure what is going on with DH
Need advice! The last couple of days DH has been complaining about being really tired. He went to bed last night at 6pm and slept till 8:30 this morning. I know he was sleeping because I have a camera in his room. This morning he seemed more confused than usual and said his head felt like it was in a deep hole. I ask more…
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just an observation
I posted on care.com yesterday to try to find a part-time companion for my partner. Not much response yet--two replies, one not vaccinated, and one wanting full-time employment. But here's the interesting observation---the site has a lot of pages about how to hire, how to plan, etc. But neither their dementia guide--nor…
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Drooling(2)
My DH who is around late stage 6 has started drooling in the past several days. It isn’t all the time, but worse in the evening and before bedtime. The past couple nights he has also been coughing at night, a loud cough. I think it may be related to the drooling. He sleeps on his back, on one of those wedge things for acid…
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That was quite a year.
As a teacher, I measure life in school years. Yesterday was my last workday for the school year. Today I visited DH in memory care, mowed my lawn and I'm now sitting here taking time for myself. Last August, I started the year with 2 caregivers providing full time supervision for DH. Things went downhill quickly. I decided…
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At the beginning of cognitive slipping
I am appreciating reading the threads about all of the experiences I may soon be facing. After a year or two of noticing my SO having cognitive difficulties with remembering names of objects, people, and the historical research (that he was so good with as a professional sideline), to his continued employment difficulties…
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THC
Anybody have any good experience with THC, I have been using CBD for DW to control mood swings but my son suggested looking in to THC. The CBD seems to work on occasion but not always. DW is on Quetiapine low doses three times a day, which also does not seem to help her anger outbursts.
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Care Team
The neurologist has submitted referrals for my LO to see a behavioral psychiatrist, a cognitive therapist and a speech therapist. Said that he has other Alzheimer's patients who have benefitted greatly from that approach. Anyone familiar with this team make-up or parts of it?
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Ativan/Lorazepam
Please share your experience with this drug. Thanks! It worked great intravenously 1.5mg for a catatonic episode in the hospital. Some doctors shirk at the very mention, yet others feel it's good for short-term use. DH is on 1mg up to 4mg per 8 hrs.
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Tip from MCF
I got a great tip today from the caregivers at the MCF. Background; my wife does not like to get up in the morning and shower. Usual reaction is screaming, fighting and punching. The fantastic CNAs have been absorbing the punches with good humor, but I still have been feeling bad. Someone suggested taking a pool noodle and…
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Dear M1
Thinking of you both! Sending you peace and love.
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TV options
We are having issues with our cable provider and I was hoping to change to something cheaper. But I'm not sure my DH can handle a change. Does anyone have a simple set up that provides lots of sports and a DVR option? TV is one of the few activities he has left, but we're currently paying way too much and have had some…
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Ray Liota
RIPI love my life, but on those days when DW is at her crankiest and most uncooperative, I can hear Ray’s voice from Goodfellas reminding me, “Every now and then you have to take a beating,” This morning is one of those times.
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Need Help/Guidance with DW - hard to handle
My DW is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s according to the DR. She does not know who I am which is causing communication problems. She thinks I'm a good friend who is helping her - she doesn't use my name - only says friend. I've not tried to convince her I'm her husband - causes major agitation to her & thens down the…
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witnessed abuse at nursing home
On a couple occasions in the last year I've seen one of the full-time aids on the Alzheimer's care unit where my DW resides be very short and caustic with residents. She has also been completely unwilling to help me with my DW when I've asked and she isn't the aid assigned to my DW: "someone will check on her is a while"-…
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Power of Attorney(3)
If you don't have this yet, DO IT NOW! I can't tell you how often I've used DH's power of attorney in the last few years. I had to have it for reasons I never dreamed I'd need it. We had ours drawn up just after DH's diagnosis, and it is very detailed - pages and pages of details. I honestly thought it was a bit much when…
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getting more restlessness,wandering
Dw is getting more restlessness, wandering more around the house, rearranging things, emotional mid to late afternoon. Came home from hospital with meds of risperidone, 1 .25mg in am, 2 .25mg at bedtime and 1 300 mg gabapentin at night. Was prescribed Atavan by nurse now for mid afternoon but that made things worse. Nurse…
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How to get DH to sign DPOA
Thanks to this discussion forum, I just realized I need a DPOA, not just the Advanced Health Directive, which we have. But I may have lost the opportunity to get it done because DH is so distrusting of me now. I barely can get him to sign insurance claim and authorization release of medical record forms. Just a few months…