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Another work around.
My husband became very confused while watching TV thinking he was at work and needed to fix something. A walk did nothing to make him forget nor did a snack. I made up a big basket of laundry and put it on the bed and asked him to fold it. He agreed but was still talking about fixing something. I asked him if he wanted…
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I think it's official now
For the last four days she has had fecal accidents, so I guess it's time to officially say she is double incontinent now. But this morning I cold smell her, and told her we had to go in the bathroom to get cleaned up. She refused. Then she refused again. And again. And that's what makes it so damned hard. Finally, I lost…
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Dark Humor: a brief interaction
My affected wife is talking with her affected mother. Her mother asked her if her mother was still alive. My wife replied, "No, I'm my mother". They both seemed happy with that exchange.
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Count down to placement
If things fall into place I will be placing my wife in memory care one week from today. I like the facility, it feels very homey, the staff seem very caring and efficient, and I know intellectually that the time is right. Safety hazards, wandering, now bowel incontinence to say nothing of my stress level are ringing alarm…
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American Express platinum card problem solved
Thanks to all your input It took guts to call AExp & finally talked to my DH. He had canceled the card So no more wrecking my brain how to dispose of the card, the card was canceled so account is inactive! DH assured me he won’t apply for any more cards! Now I can sleep peacefully! I tried to cut up the card! Even asked…
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Worth Looking At - Significant Discount Pricing On Prescription Medication
Off comes my Peer Volunteer hat. While I am NOT personally recommending this, I wanted to share a bit of interesting news you may want to take a look at as I know from so many Postings written by Members that prescription costs have been a significant problem for many. Billionaire Mark Cuban has been a critic of the…
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Incontinence question(3)
Two accidents so far. In both cases it was mid day, spouse was up an around and in both cases she was standing up. Her reaction was confusion followed by extreme distress that 'something went wrong'. Also in both cases self recrimination was immediate, along the lines of 'I am a horrible person', and 'you are going to hate…
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Is dementia really the worst?
We've all heard that dementia is the worst disease. At times it goes on for more than twenty years! But many PWD think they're just fine, and those who don't, are not typically in physical pain. So my take on it is that it might be the worst disease for the caregiver. Maybe not for the patient. What do you think?
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Don't Want To Go Back
This is going to sound awful, but I'm just being honest. Drove the hour and a half to see my husband today at MC. He was unfortunately on the commode because he was having an issue and the nurse was with him. After not being "productive", he agreed through her that he would visit with me. She left us saying call her if we…
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Which way to go with CELA
Trying to decide which way to go. Crushed, I'm hoping you'll chime in with your opinion and expertise. An appointment is scheduled for Wednesday with CELA to discuss if eligible for Medicaid, etc. Already have wills, DPOAs, and living wills. Pretty sure we don't qualify but scheduled meeting just to make sure. Yesterday…
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getting help(3)
DH is going downhill faster than I was hoping. The past 2 weeks he has been sun downing. The dr gave him Trazadone. It's only been a few days, but it has helped him and me to sleep. I knew things would get worse, but I think I didn't want to believe it. Our kids came to help me interview a private care giver. She was…
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Is this sun downing?
I always thought sun downing was when the PWD becomes confused, agitated, aggressive, etc. later in the afternoon. But for the last week or so every day around 3 or 4 PM she wants to know if I'm ready to go somewhere. Typically she'll look at me and say "Are you ready to go?". She can't tell me where, but she thinks we…
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The importance of a plan B
This topic comes up a lot. Here's a very sad story about a caregiver and the importance of a Plan B. There was a couple in their 80's in the assisted living section of DH's long term care facility. The husband has dementia and the wife was the caregiver. On Sunday morning the husband was walking around the halls telling…
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DH ordered a American Express platinum card
I hid some of his cards and platinum card, he hasn’t realized so far. I am afraid to confront him. I think there is a hefty fee of $ 700. How do I cancel the card so we are not charged the fee! Card is in his name Last time when he got a gold card, I tried to cancel with AExp but they wouldn’t, told them about him having…
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Share Your Alzheimer's Story with CMS
I received an email today from the Alzheimer's Association with one block on the page suggesting CMS is considering or has decided to not cover some or all drugs to treat Alzheimer's. Following the suggested link I shared my story, for what it is worth, with CMS. TO CMS: My wife, 64, was diagnosed with early onset Dementia…
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A personality that exasperates me
My husband’s ego has always been quite strong. It persists despite all the changes that he does not comprehend. He is insistent that his incorrect, inaccurate, and wrong-headed thinking are, in fact, correct.I go along with as much as I can. I know that arguing or rational discussion are worse than useless. There are times…
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A bit of a scare
Last night, a little after 6 PM, DW fell in the dining room. 75% of the time I'm holding her hand when she walks because she is not particularly great on her feet. I did not do that last night, and I think she tripped over the dog, but not sure. She hit her head on a chair or the table, and was unconscious for maybe 5…
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Another day with a new challenge. E v e r y Day
Hello friends. It is almost 2 in the morning. It is so hard to talk about this. If you have not gone through this, or are experiencing it right now, then you will not understand. I think my husband is forgetting to walk! It was hard yesterday and today to walk him (with a walker, and my help) from the bedroom to the family…
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Every day brings something new
Wow I never would have guessed, we got a late Christmas card and my dw now keeps saying she needs to get writing the Christmas cards. I never saw that one. I have gotten rid of the card, and all is well again for now.
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Chronic solvent-induced encephalopathy - depression
My DH's dementia comes from Chronic solvent-induced encephalopathy, which is not meant to be progressive once to solvent exposure ceases, but no improvement has occurred in the 4 years since his diagnosis. He is equivalent to a mid-course Alzheimer's case. He walks, and gathers firewood mainly, after a long interesting…
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Sometimes I think I am going crazy
Sometimes I think I am going crazy my dw will seem to be lucid. It makes me question what's going on with her, I have studied so much over the past 4 years.is it depression or dementia, she knows her brain is dying and her short term is a minute. We did yesterday's daily devotion again today I didn't bother to mention it.…
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I am not strong enough
I am the sole caregiver for DW and I am not strong enough. Not like others here who have demonstrated Herculean strength facing their LO’s care. These are the things I have enough strength for: I floss and brush her teeth. I wash her in the shower. I guide her in dressing. I help clean her after toileting. I clean up…
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Free Online Caregiving 101 Class
Family Caregiver Alliance gives free online classes from time to time. On February 14, they are giving a class, "Caregiving 101." It is also a good idea to sign up to receive the online newletters from Family Caregiver Alliance. While they are centered in San Francisco, they provide a lot of good information and also…
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New members - honor your loved one
https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147548367&page=1
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Dentures & etc
Hello fellow caregivers, I’m new here tonight. My husband was diagnosed 4 years ago. His dementia is not Alzheimer’s but is the result of years working as a printmaker with strong solvents, he did not protect himself. As he is no longer exposed I don’t know how far it will progress, but it is not getting better, despite…
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incontinence underwear specific for men
I have no idea how good these are, but I know some of you are dealing with men who need something like this. So I thought I'd pass this on in case you are still looking for…
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Surreal day
Have spent most of today reacting to or calming constant agitation and confusion. We hit all the repetitive conversation highlights (see other thread on remaining calm), in addition to dealing with neighbors sick from Covid, old acquaintance dying of Covid, malfunctioned TV satellite which wasn’t fixed by a service visit…
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Draft letter for OPM WRT DW competence
I had to draft a letter for DW's physician to explain her condition to OPM and in support of me being her representative payee. You might find it useful (they do not recognize POA) Since we have different last names I call her Dr World Famous Dr. World Famous is the last stages of Alzheimer's disease Major or Mild…
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DAY CARE CENTER FOR A DEMENTIA PATIENT
Thank you all for your advise. You all, of course, are right. I will start a new post somewhere here, I am still learning about this website. Good luck to all of us. I am exhausted right now ... . Hello all. I hope you guys are fine. I joined because I am a little bit desperate. I am new to this, taking care of my husband…
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Advice needed for future reference
Hello, I'm a bit of a planner, my philosophy is that bridges are easier to cross when one is prepared. I love a good checklist and spreadsheet. So, I'm asking for some input on my List Of Things To Have Ready For A Newbie. * Legal planning: DPOA, HCPOA, Wills, Letters of Instruction , HIPPA medical release of records…