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VA catastrophically disabled
Thought I would update: After a month of phone calls (sometimes going in loops of people who didn't know and ending up back with the 1st person) and finally researching and figuring out myself how to get this done, today Jim was reclassified as catastrophically disabled at the VA. In the end it was very simple. I had a…
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A beautiful song about Alzheimer's.
My cousin, Gary Brown, wrote a beautiful, haunting song about his experience watching as his mother, Valda Brown, declined with Alzheimer's and ultimately passed away. As I my mother lives with Alzheimer's, the song comes to my mind often. It can be found on youtube.com at this link:…
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The light at the end of the tunnel might or might not be a train
Day 1. Home from the hospital after a 3 night stay for seizures. Day 2. I’m calling memory care homes again looking for placement. The memory care I’ve worked things out with hasn’t been accepting new residents for 4 months. I keep asking, they keep saying “maybe next month.” They have no idea when they’ll finally start…
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caregiver 101.1
More things I have learned that were not obvious. Food: My gal started getting really picky about food. She used to like fish, then she didn't. Lasagne was a favorite, then it was not. Meat of any kind was suddenly not good. I was really at my wits end trying to find food she would eat, and then one day I got it. It had…
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Reason for the terrible awful no good very bad day
Well I managed to get outside for an hour this afternoon for an hour of leaf raking since she objects to my hiring anyone. Tomorrow is my partners 81st birthday, and our one couple of friends who still visit are coming for lunch. When I came in from outside about four o'clock, she had all three of our portable phones on…
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Picture book
My husband can still find most words but it gets worse each month. Has anyone made a picture book? I was thinking of a book with one picture per page in plastic sheets of the most common things they might want or need. It might relieve some of the frustration they feel when they can’t find the right word. It could be…
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Crushed, please help me.
My parents are moving from Texas back to Louisiana. Dad has DPOA over mom. His real estate agent just called him and said if my mom happens to die before the house is sold he will have to go through the probate process, which will be long and stressful. Blah blah blah. It has always been my understanding that the reason…
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If you use a Roku....
It might be a good idea to keep current with your debit charge activities from your bank. A few days ago I found a charge for $9.99 from Roku for a new ongoing WarnerMedia subscription. We don't subscribe through Roku for anything, and I have a pin that must be used to make purchases. The debit card on file with Roku is no…
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How long can he sleep?
My husband is sleeping longer and longer. I know this is part of the disease but it is now 4:15 pm and he refuses to get out of bed. He is sleeping on and off, refuses to eat, and becomes belligerent when I try to have him get up, dressed, and have something to eat. I’ve read that it’s OK to let him sleep but it is…
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French
Hello French; I am thinking of you and so hoping that your trip to Tunisia went well. J.
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Second time around + May/December jinx?
I am posting this excerpt from my reply on another thread. This is something I realized after reading occasional comments through the years, suggesting some people should have planned better for their golden years, yet many of us actually did plan well and work hard, but divorces and other factors cost us dearly in…
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Would he be happier?
My husband is progressing on his journey. He can walk 4 miles but not alone as he gets lost. He can dress himself but would wear the same clothes forever and gets mad when I suggest changing. I sneak them out when he is asleep. His memory is 10 seconds and then has to be reminded about what was said or asked. He has to be…
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Things are looking up
I phoned our social worker and asked for some respite care. Next week it will begin. I also have gotten my husband into a day program to keep him amused, one day a week to see how he will take to it.I am getting used to six hours of sleep a night, it is amazing what one can deal with. I don’t get as angry but now I am…
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This should not be political - it's about time
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/biden-proposes-major-nursing-home-reforms-most-extensive-in-decades-18737?
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First theft
Well we crossed another threshold today, my partner asked me if someone had been here "while we were out" to steal things from her room. Of course we haven't been out. The Seroquel she takes for sleep may keep this dampened, but it is a new delusion, for sure. Didn't last very long, but there it is. Of course, the disease…
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Let's play hide and seek
Yesterday I noticed my wife did not have her upper denture in. I asked her what she did with it. She laughed, and told me she didn't know. We don't have a very large house anymore, but I haven't found it yet. Yes, I checked the garbage. On the bright side, that's more steak for me.
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Just checking in.
Mom's vital signs are still good. She continues to lose herself. However, she had a really good day yesterday! She was more alert and responsive. She even spoke a sentence! Said to the sitter, "What are you doing"? She made duck lips at dad all day. That means she wants a kiss. His heart was happy! The weather is beautiful…
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A caregiver course for $7.00
The price is right, and I thought someone might be interested. https://www.makecaregivingeasier.com/launch-page-11632866235960
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It is the loved ones/caregivers who bear the deepest burden and suffering.
I lost my father after an incredibly long battle with Alzheimer's about 15 months ago. Wanting to help others finding themselves in the same horrible and overwhelming situation, I wrote an essay about the experience, which was just published. I wrote it not only to tell my story, but to raise awareness, provide insight…
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The futility of reason and pleasing
This morning I sneezed and my HWD shouted “Shut the f&@& up.” This was a lesson to me that my actions are, at times, always going to anger him no matter if they are kind, involuntary, whatever. Sometimes you just can’t do anything right, and it is not my fault.
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Not nearly prepared
I'm a substitute teacher and this morning I noticed was the first day the sun was coming over the mountains to the east. As I was crossing in the cross walk from the parking lot to the school I looked to my right and thought, that SUV isn't going to stop for me so I started running and barely missing getting hit. The lady…
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Anosognesia
DH has mild Dementia, gets angry when I say he has memory problems. How should I behave? How can I help him? Does MET therapy help? Memory enhancement therapy Anyone going thru this?
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Financial cost for assisted living and memory care
Here in Virginia, it runs around $ 10,000. Per month. I think memory care may be more! If Medicare doesn’t help financially, how is a person on a fixed income supposed to pay this hefty bill! I am sure lot of caregivers would be in the same predicament as me! Your thoughts please!
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apps that can entertain
I'm no longer looking for a "fix" for my DW. I'm told the facility she is in used to have quite a few "activities" from the outside but with Covid there is almost NO stimulation provided. Mostly the residents sit around in wheelchairs and stare blankly at game shows on TV in the common area. When my beloved is lucid enough…
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So it begins
About six weeks ago I shared that DH had what we think was a TIA and had wet himself. Since then, he has had a few more "accidents." Two night ago, he was brushing his teeth before bed and remarked that he must have spilled some water because the floor was wet. It wasn't water. Yesterday late afternoon, he came upstairs…
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Didion quote
I am a huge fan of the late Joan Didion. Ran across this quote from her which I had written down in my journal: "I know what the fear is. The fear is not for what is lost. What is lost is already in the wall.. What is lost is already behind the locked door. The fear is for what is still to be lost." From Blue Nights--Joan…
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I must stop hating
My husband and I have been married for 57 years. We grew up together, shared our lives, raised children, had phenomenal careers, traveled, laughed, cried; we’re best friends. Now Alzheimer’s Disease has robbed him of all he was. No one who meets him now would know that he earned a PhD in finance and economics, taught at a…
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Poetry of caregiving
I've recently read poems written by caregivers from Oahu. I felt so connected and resonated so with these poems, I was inspired to write some of my own. Here is my first. THE KISS Morning begins, Sounds from his bedroom Fear... Nonsense words, Puzzlements, What happens next? How will this turn out? He reaches up, His hands…
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I can't do this!
I feel guilty to even vent for risk of sounding like a spoiled brat and feeling sorry for myself. My DH is 88 and I'm 68. He had a small stroke/brain injury in 2013. He now bears the diagnosis of VD and AD. At this time, I am his only caregiver. He is at the end of stage 5 with 1-2 characteristics of Stage 6. He doesn't…
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What State for Medicaid?
Many posters have reported difficulty obtaining State assistance, and niggardly support at best. Is there a source of information rating States in that regard?