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Time for us before it is too late
I am trying to figure out how to take an extended leave so I can help my husband experience the retirement we had planned together. It is so difficult to go to work every day and not give him my undivided attention. We planned and saved very well for our retirement, but I am 10 years younger than him and we were splitting…
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Memory care placement, two months later
Dear friends, it has been two months since I placed my wife into memory care, a decision that you helped me make. Sorry I've neglected to report back, this is an overdue update. First, thank you all for supporting me in this decision. It is crystal clear that it was the right move for both my wife and myself. Initially I…
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So hard to watch
My dw has been a letter writer her whole life. She sent everybody a birthday card. Now she can't get pass the list of people she wants to send cards too. This morning she tried and tried to get one done, I tried to set it up without causing a fuss. I finally went outside to let her alone,when I came back in 20 minutes…
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18 days in memory care
Thought I'd update about our journey. DH is adjusting remarkably well to his new home. I'm so glad I got his meds figured out before he went in, because they've kept him calmish and staff really hasn't had many problems. When I go he's clean and content. I think he's recognized me about 1/2 the time, but he's always happy…
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the moment you hear the word dementia or cognitive impairment
A poster wrote " I would have had everything completed because she has had dementia for a number of years. The problem is she is so young half the doctors/psychiatrists/neurologists said she had dementia the other half said it was some type of serious stress" My wife was 58 when she failed the clock drawing test. Yes her…
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Drivers license(1)
Today I have to take the car keys and tell my DH that he can no longer drive. It’s hard on both of us.
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Walking on eggshells
My DH has been home with me since New Year’s. He had a psychotic episode in September and was sectioned and then placed in MC for 3 months… I couldn’t bring him home earlier because he was saying I was not his wife and he was married to someone else. He has been good until the past two weeks saying that he occasionally…
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Update on move
OhMyAchingHead. Good morning Sisters & Brothers! The movers are on the way to the house now. Because of the amount of boxes needed to pack collections and art we require a semi tractor trailer, An 18 wheeler!!! They will pack all day today and load truck tomorrow. If you are a praying person, please pray for me and my dad…
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Quilting brings calm
Thank you for potholder information, appreciate it. I have the insul Bright.
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When the sadness descends
I like to think that I’m pretty resilient as a caregiver, but there are times when the heartbreak defeats the resilience. DW slept 15 hours overnight and only awoke reluctantly. She has spent most of the day sleeping, sitting up. One manifestation of the long goodbye. Here’s the poem I wrote today, reflecting on where we…
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DH blaming me for his meds
DH diagnosis of mild dementia is on lot of meds. After I realized he was confused, i took over ordering his meds, putting in 2 weeks pillboxes and dispensing them morning and evening, i do not interfere with his Diabetis sugar checks or supplies. Today, he blamed me for taking over meds and said he had only 2 strips left.…
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A very long ending
In late December of 2019, my DW was rushed from her memory care facility to a local hospital as non-responsive. I tried to stop the process as it was pointless and, had she awakened, would have terrified her, but got there just as the ambulance pulled away. I followed it to the hospital where the ER physician looked at…
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Youtube goes live on March 22nd at 5pm ET
https://youtu.be/_jsR5Dv2LRA
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Poo corner
The last couple of days have been filled with every kind of mess a body can create. My husband caught some kind of bug, he stopped eating or ate so little I was worried he was going to get dehydrated. He threw up in his bed, the floor etc. He also pooed the bed, on the floor, in the kitchen etc. I did about eight loads of…
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Baby Eagle
A baby bald eagle has been hatched in Big Bear CA. There is a naming contest open until March 25th. Visit www.friendsofbigbearvalley.org to view the eaglet's Webcam or to suggest a name. Iris
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Early Onset Dementia Can't Get Help
My wife is in the final stage of dementia. She is only 60, turns 61 on April 22. So she is still too young to be on medicare. It is going to take us a while to get her on medicaid, because I have to sell 2 of our vehicles, put my work van under a company name instead of just using it under my name, and a few other things.…
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What can I do?
My DH is somewhere around stage 6 and we’re dealing with a repetitive behavior which I can’t seem to break. He goes through hours long periods at different times of the day where he constantly gets up to pee. Usually he just goes through the motions and doesn’t go. This happens every 2 to 5 minutes. He’s has other…
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Stressed by contractor issue, off topic
I need to decide how to move forward with completing an expensive project, but am needing a quick answer to a worrisome question. Am going to try to be concise with pertinent information that gives you enough of a picture: A contractor who did major work on our house wants the final check. We already paid for 90 percent of…
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Feeling regretful.
I’m with my dad. We are here to complete the move back to Louisiana. My sister took three days off from work and is staying at my house with our mom. Dad feels more comfortable with a relative being there with the caregivers. I am grateful that my sister is there with our mom. This is the first time I have been able to be…
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Please do this by end of day today
It is a 3-minute video and includes extremely moving words from the patient advocates – it is a great compilation that makes the case for CMS to provide coverage. We encourage everyone to share with their friends, families, and professional networks on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. This can help get the word…
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Bad day turned GOOD
Today started out to be one of my DW's bad day. Her hallucination and delusions was running wild this morning. I gave her morning medications (Quetiapine), which didn't even phase it, on top of that I had to get her ready for a doctors appointment. It was really a rough start plus her hallucinations are become more…
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Early respite thoughts
I didn't have to hide the mail today, or monitor any medications except my own. I went to the bank and didn't have to worry about what might be going on in my absence. I watched the news. I hired a yard guy, no discussion or micromanagement. I fed the cats (one can each and I didn't have to hide the food). I turned the…
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Just need to talk to my friends (167)
Hi, Thanks, Beth, I got Park's phone number so I'll call tomorrow. We may have gotten a catalog from them - I haven't been keeping them because I didn't think I'd need to order anything. Used to get them from so many companies when we had a big garden. Well, again, I'm going to ask all of you for your prayers for Sarah.…
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Thoughts, advice
My DH’s adult daughters had a falling out about 7 years ago and have not spoken to each other. My DH currently believes that they have repaired their relationship and says he he happy about that. It is not true and we will be invited to events on both sides in the near future…. A dance recital may involve both parties…
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Am I being deceitful?
I am struggling that I am deceiving my dw. I am telling her I did this or that to keep her from doing it multiple times. She doesn't have 10 seconds of working memory. The pandemic thing is a go to for a lot things. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right. When the questions don't matter I just use the ohh, yeah. She asks…
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variable awareness of own illness in the early stages
I am reaching out to those caring for a spouse in the early stages, or who remember doing so. Apologies for the long post. Jennifer Ghent-Fuller's "Understanding the dementia experience" includes a section on "Insight", where she differentiates two extremes... (1) the person with intact ability to have insight into their…
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Err on the side of caution
I have been trying hard to use “acting” as a way to soften the hard edges of my efforts to keep my DH safe. In my desire to err on the side of caution, no matter how kindly I try “to act,” DH discounts and despises my efforts. When I calmly unplugged the toaster before he used a knife to dig out his toasted bun, a…
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DH refusing to use CPAP
For six years my husband has worn a CPAP full face mask to bed each night. Even though he gets up 6-8 times a night due to anxiety and overactive bladder, he put the mask back on when he returned to bed. But, in the last week he will put it on then remove it within minutes or refuse to wear it at all. Has anyone…
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the safety link?
Anybody have the link/list handy about the steps to protect yourself if a PWD gets aggressive? My tenant needs it. for his parents. I must not have saved it. I know it's here, it's been on several threads including LT's in the past....it's what I used on Friday, the bit about a safe room and having your phone with you and…
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Should I move DH from MC to nursing home?
DH has been in MC for almost 18 months. Three months ago he had a sudden decline (no, it wasn't a UTI) and has been bedbound since. He can't walk, smile, talking ended a long time ago, or feed himself. He's late stage 7. Here's the issue: He has to be hand fed and technically the MC staff can't do that. However, they are…