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Not venting but whining
(after Stevie Smith’s ‘Not Waving But Drowning’) Anyone else notice the negative feedback loop between caregiving and the normal challenges of day to day life? Caregiving is so demanding that it can make it harder to deal with the ordinary annoyances of life…and the ordinary annoyances of life can make caregiving harder.…
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How to not feel
I don’t know how to not be effected by my husband’s behavior. Rationally, I know it’s the disease but I get so deeply depressed. Last night, I came home from work. He was watching TV. He wouldn’t say hello. I made myself dinner and brought it into the living room. When I placed my plate on the glass table it made a noise.…
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Trouble getting clothes on
My husband can get his jeans on with no problems, but he can not get his tee shirts on or his socks! He try’s and try’s but just can’t get his shirt on. I really can’t understand why he can get part of his clothes on and not the shirt. He can’t get his sweatshirt on. Does anyone else have a love one that can get part of…
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Just need to talk to my friends (162)
Hi, We're over 8,000 views so guess we'd better begin #162. Started to do that last night with my tablet but it acted up so will do it now. Jo, I got my recipe for wacky cake from Jenny Can Cook youtube video (Sara told me about it). She called it Easy Chocolate Cake. My proportions are a bit less than Ree's and I use a…
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Clothes constantly being taken out of closets
My wife has recently started taking out all her clothes from closets and drawers and laying them out on the bed, hanging them on door handles, and so on. It's like she has to see everything all the time rather than being hidden away. Has anybody else experienced similar behavior? Any suggestions as to how to change it,…
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Contact lenses
My husband hasn’t worn contacts in 40 years. He has used eye drops twice a day for 40 years. He can’t remember that he uses eye drops but he is digging at his eyes because he thinks he has “pieces” of plastic in them. I hate this disease! It is horrible to see someone who was so competent be unable to understand anything.
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Does this sound like bowel incontinence
I'm a lurker who gets a lot of information from other's posts. But I hope to get some opinions on my concern. My DH is immobile and uses a bedside toilet and sit to stand device. He has always known when he has to go. He's had some moments when he thought he had to go, but didn't, just passed gas. He knows when he has to…
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You may find this interesting
22 Clues™ to the Dementias https://www.dementiasociety.org/post/22-clues-to-the-dementias The Big Umbrella https://www.paperturn-view.com/?pid=MjA201566
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Late stage dementia and NOT sleeping a lot
I often hear of LOs with dementia sleeping a lot. My DH is late stage 7 and doesn't sleep much and doesn't seem to have deep sleep. He's in MC so it's hard to know for sure, but I've talked to several staff members of all the shifts. They even did a sleep log for two weeks where they checked him every hour 24/7. The only…
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Financial issues in mild dementia
DH wrote a check and later stopped, resulting in $35. Fee. He told me American Express have provided him a free gold card, resulting in $200. Annual fee that I could not cancel. I mentioned to neurologist, he said keep a close eye on finances. DH writes checks and carries credit cards with him. How do I tackle this…
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Love and Gratitude for You All
You are all doing something extraordinarily difficult and I am in awe of you and respect you. Only we in this special club have a sense of the crushing emotional, physical, and financial toll dementia takes on us. I often lurk on this site without posting and have learned valuable information available nowhere else. There…
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I begin 2022 without my DH
I lost my DH of 54 years today. The Memory Care Facility called last evening and told me my DH had not been feeling well and that he had fallen. They told me they called the paramedics to have them assess his condition and to see if he had sustained any injuries. Although there were no visible injuries, the paramedics…
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Just thinking out loud
I have often thought and wished I would be the one going through this terrible disease rather than my DW. Seeing her deteriorate is so depressing. Then I consider that if it was the other way around and I had the disease she would have to spend her whole time taking care of me. I certainly would not want that. Of course,…
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Placement due to noncompliance with hygiene?
My husband is probably approaching late mid stage. His food intake has decreased, he takes a long time to eat, he sleeps a lot, he has difficulty dressing, and although hasn’t fallen as much recently, he has fallen a lot. His gait is a little unsteady and he loses his balance easily. He watches television all day long and…
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what if a family secret might impact your LO's diagnosis
DH was adopted when he was an infant. Over the holidays, during a private conversation with DH’s maternal aunt, I learned that she suspected DH’s adoptive father may have been DH’s biological father. DH’s sister (within the adopted family), who was not adopted, died of ALS in 2017. If DH’s aunt’s suspicions are correct,…
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DH Sleeps all day long
At what stage does someone begin to sleep most of the day. My DH has started hallucinating and sleeping the majority of the day. He still talks, but keeps asking me when we are going home? We are home!
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Locked up again And piddle dee dee
The residents of our condo (fully vaxed and boosted) enjoyed Christmas at our various families homes. A number of us have ended up with colds including DH and I. So now we are again in lockdown mode, all activities cancelled, no visiting in each other’s units, no housecleaning, no confirmed Covid cases, no dunkin doughnuts…
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independent living to assisted living
My DW has been diagnosed for about four years. About nine months ago I realized I could not give her proper care and still maintain my home. I decided to move into a retirement community and be in independent living. It was a great decision as she is happy to be around people and loves the "Happy Hour" (she doesn't drink)…
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Hallucinations(7)
Does anybody have any experience with their LO's having hallucinations? My DW has seen things occasionally over the past year but the frequency and her total belief in them has increased in the last few weeks. It is now several times a day. Usually people, in the house or the yard. Sometimes animals in the yard or in the…
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Struggling with placement?
Here is a video that I think you will find helpful. Struggling with your decision to put your loved one in a dementia nursing home? Watch this
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Experience with NYU Langone
Hello, My dh is 66 and has been dx'd with Alzheimer's. We have been with Columbia U Medical Center (Dr. Karen Bell) since this summer. We are not having any issues with Columbia except I'm wondering if other institutions offer more than prescribing you a medicine and you come back in a few months. Columbia has a few…
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Not Eating - Does anyone have a strategy?
My wife - FTD - has decided not to eat or says, it doesn't take good. Of course, the things I make are known favorites. It worries me and know her perceptions of food are changing. However, she needs to eat and I don't count a single bite here or there as a meal. Does anyone have a strategy that has worked?
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DH is crying all the time
For the past 6 months or so, DH has gotten extremely emotional about our pets, current and past. Recently, it takes just a picture of our dog that died 8 years ago, or a news story about a rescued dog, and he's crying. The majority of his sad moments are usually triggered by dogs. Today I asked if he thought we should take…
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2022 Happy New Year Really?
Hi everyone, It's hard to hear Happy New Year as for me I don't think it will be too happy. it will be more like the year of losses. I expect my husband will not be able to live out the year with me, and I might have to give up my pets because of vet and travel costs. It will be hard to live without his income and having…
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A small win
No telling how long this will work, but I'll pass it along anyway. When it's time for me to give my wife her meds, she frequently tells me she already took them today. And she believes it. Then it gets hard. But for a little over a week I've been giving her the meds shortly after she gets up in the morning. No more telling…
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Transition
Hi Everyone I have been actively caring for my wife for 10 years, thats how long she has had Alzheimer’s. We have other friends who come over during the week and help support us during the day but i care for all her drug, food,drink, bathing and medical needs, including Dr visits. We are very close and she depends on me…
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NEW YEARS RESOLUTION(1)
IF i AM HAVING A BAD DAY I WILL BAKE A CHOCOLATE CAKE
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Today it became clear, I need to place her in MC
An event today made clear the need to place my wife in memory care sooner rather than later. Her walking out the gate and wandering up the road I solved by keeping it locked whenever she is out of my sight. Her turning on stove burners I solved by removing the knobs whenever I am not cooking. Her night time urinary…
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DH with mild dementia, sleeps a lot
DH sleeps 3 hours in the afternoon, @ 9 pm his eyes are closing. If I mention that he sleeps a lot, he gets angry and verbally Abusive. He is unable to help me in simple chores around the house that he used to. He doesn’t do much all day except go for one mile walk twice a day. Is this normal? How do I tackle this?
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New in Town
Hi all. Wendy here. Wish we could meet in person, I like that so much better. I am a caregiver to my husband of 26 years, His alz showed up about 5 years ago but was hard to definitively diagnose because he was drinking heavily at the time. Mainly just want to know that I'm not alone in the feelings I have and to have…