-
A win: The Toilet Tango
DH has apraxia and taking him to the toilet was very frustrating for us both. I try to keep the experience breezy and cheerful. Since I have to guide him this way and that, I call it the toilet tango. Lately, I have added some Cha-Cha along with a little rhythm as I sing simple instructions along with the cha cha cha. It…
-
care giving to mom
In Jan my wife age 64 died of EO/FTD I retire at age 58 to be her care giver. She died at home with her children and dog present. My problem is my mom who is 90 has dementia and my sisters want me to take care of her while they keep on having fun. I don't think they have any idea of the emotional cost of care giving. Any…
-
White Crane
Was wondering how you and your family are doing?
-
I cannot do it But i can do it
This is the way I sometimes feel. When it is the worst of times, she won't do (or won't let me do) what absolutely needs to be done. When these episodes happen, they last about 1/2 hour or more, so most of the day she is pretty easy to care for. When it's over, it's in the rear view window. I am much stronger than she is,…
-
My description of the last 10 years.
I was asked what being an EOAD spouse was like. Here was my response: Being an early onset Alzheimer's spouse is like the worst parts of marriage and divorce with no redeeming values.It's like being hit by a flamethrower that destroys lives, relationships, families, careers, finances and futures and leaves nothing behind…
-
A text message from his son
« Hi, how are you ? Do you know if dad is back from Tunisia ? I tried to call him but had no answer. » My arms fall off. Does he really think that his dad comes and goes in Tunisia alone. He came at home the day before the departure and saw me accompany his father to the toilets, having to shower him in the shower…
-
Bed alarms
I need to get a bed alarm so that I know when my husband gets out of bed. I don't sleep in the same room because he tosses and turns, kicks, snores, etc. and I need my sleep to be a good caregiver. Does anyone have a recommendation? There are tons on the market, some are pads for the actual bed and others are mats you put…
-
In home caregiver. COVID Vax
I am considering hiring a new in home caregiver who has recovered from having COVID months ago but has not been vaccinated. This lady is a licensed CNA who previously worked in a Nursing Home but suffered burnout due the number of patient COVID deaths during the height of the pandemic. This lady will not take a COVID shot…
-
One Less Bell To Answer
“One Less Bell To Answer, One Less Egg To Fry, One Less Man To Pick Up After, I Should Be Happy, But All I Do Is Cry.” The popular version of this song, performed by The Fifth Dimension, was released in 1970, but written by Burt Bacharach in 1967, the year DH and I were married. I loved The Fifth Dimension, Burt, and that…
-
DH wakes up for bathroom at night
DH forgets to take torch to bed, bumps in the bed at night, this wakes me up, I am a light sleeper, any light wakes me up and can’t go back to sleep. Tried to put nightlight but his bedside but light keeps me awake. Any ideas? Next, will try glow in the dark paint - on the torch. Tried anything that solves the problem?…
-
Home caregiver for DH who gets delusions.and agitations when I leave
Every time I leave the house my husband thinks I am having an affair, it triggers his delusions and agitation. Where can I find a caregiver that can deal with him?
-
Great book for newcomers, and reminders
A “how to” for caregivers new to this disease, and a good “wrap-up,” for everyone, I found this book on Amazon called “Caregiver Overwhelmed: How to Cope with Alzheimer’s and Dementia.” has tons of great advice. The title sounds dramatic, but it is a straight-forward, easy- to- read book of tips for all kinds of problem…
-
Information shared appreciated, Michael
I have much appreciated the information on Alzheimer's disease that you have shared on these boards through the years, Michael. I have seen things get pretty heated at times on this site, and maybe sometimes moderation was needed, but I agree that usually a light touch is better.
-
@gonegirl40
I am posting to ask you to please be patient with Michael and me. There used to be several patients who posted on the Caregiver boards, but now only Michael and I post. Speaking for myself, I am aware that my verbal and written skills are not what they once were. Having much experience in different areas, I try to…
-
First timer
This is my first time here. I am trying to take care of my 75 yr old husband who has dementia. We live in a small town in S.E. Kansas. No one has told us what type of dementia he has. They just shove a pill at him and tell him he has years before we have to worry but I see things progressing quickly. We have always had a…
-
Back from Germany
Just to note I could face time from Germany with no problem For myself the nostalgia was almost overwhelming We first made the trip though the Rhine Gorge in 1977. I was the lucky husband of a brand new doctor. I was just starting an academic career. The hardest thing I have had to learn is to celebrate the time we had…
-
Thank goodness for the waterproof mattress protector
DH had a urinary accident in the bed last night. His disposable briefs could not handle all the fluid. DH's jammies were soaked. The fitted sheet, flat sheet, regular mattress pad and water proof crib pad were soaked. THANKS GOODNESS for the waterproof mattress protector. We use the 6 sided model with the zipper. It saved…
-
Promising Animal Studies Using Commonly Available Drugs
This interesting article showed up in my newsfeed today. Researchers at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago have found in animal studies that the combination of two common drugs help reduce amyloid beta in the brain. Excerpt from the article: “A promising series of early studies is highlighting two well known…
-
Update from other day post that was deleted
Who I can not believe after I mentioned him the other day he has passed. He is surely in a much better place. Its said that it took this long. This dieses took the mind of good person way to long ago. https://kansasreflector.com/2021/11/02/former-u-s-rep-dennis-moore-dies-after-battling-cancer-alzheimers-disease/
-
Absentee Adult Son (AAS) Came to Visit
DH and his AAS were estranged for over a year. DH reached out to AAS by phone over a month ago. Since then there have been several positive phone calls initiated by DH. AAS came to visit on Saturday. The visit went well. AAS brought his girlfriend who is expecting their 1st child. The girlfriend brought her puppy. I am…
-
Made an appointment with an Eldercare Attorney
I often read these messages but don’t frequently post. Part of the reason is my husband is beside me so often and I feel like I don’t have time to myself to compose a message. You are all such a resource and hope with time I can help others too. I’ve been knowing and wanting to see an attorney to see what needs to be…
-
Sleeping Separately
DH and I share a queen size bed. DH has limited awareness of where his body is in relation to other things so I tuck in DH at night. It used to work well, and DH was receptive to my guidance. DH was on one side of the bed and I was on the other. DH now is more confused and resists. Regardless of my instructions and…
-
Week-end to my parents with poop accident
As my brother came back from New York with his wife and son, my sisters and me gathered to my parents last weekend. They saw my partner last time in June. So only 4 months bu were shocked bout the changes. Last time as in the morning I was running early in the forest, my partner arrived for the breakfast with his short on…
-
Severe Stage EOAD Husband stays in bed longer
For over a week now my husband has been staying in bed much longer than he ever has. He sleeps solidly for hours and when he wakes he just lays in bed talking and clapping. Friday he went to bed at 2:30pm and got out of bed Saturday morning at 10:30 am. (20 hours spent in his bed). Before that it has been up to 16 hrs.…
-
Another update from Josie
My saga continues. Just thought I'd update. Recap: in June DH's anxiety, delusions and paranoia creeped up. PCP gave him new medicine. It kind-of worked, meds were increased in July. DH became a walking zombie. PCP said take him off those meds, but I'm not going to help with medicine any more. And since you're considering…
-
DH says he thinks he’s going to die soon.
My DH is in good physical health. FTD. AD, Mixed dementia, VD are what he’s been diagnosed with but there has not been a timeline given to us for him. Per the Alzheimer’s information, they show that he is in stage five. He’s able to take care of it next self except his hygiene has gone downhill dramatically. Eating habits…
-
If I Die First
My husband is in the early stages and we have completed our legal work. However, my husband has no family and no friends. I have a brother and nephew 3000 miles away whom my husband has never liked. While my nephew can be the Special Needs Trustee, he cannot be the advocate. If I die first DH will have no one to help or…
-
MIL Problems
I've often heard it said that with some people with dementia they want to "go home" but the home is where they grew up and were young. Or they believe their mother is still alive but in reality they have deceased. I haven't seen much about how people deal with issues when their LO's, in this case, mother is still alive and…
-
Do you need a laugh?
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2706897819621783
-
Feeling like I’m always in trouble with DH - I have ??’s
I know that it is the disease speaking, but I am having difficulty being the bad guy and having him angry at me most of the time. He has FTD, VD, AD so there is a lot going on. I am the object of his anger because I am always here. I try not to take it personally, but it is very difficult, draining and depressing. Things…