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Garden of Remembrance
I wish I weren’t such a technological doofus- - I would provide a link. Google “Fish: Garden of Remembrance” official video on YouTube. A sad, but sweet song about dementia, written and performed by “Fish”, a Scottish singer- songwriter. The 19 minute video about the making of the song is moving as well.
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Rob's mini rant
I can do all this, and I don't mind any of it, except the resistance to accept care. Refusing to take a shower, wear clothes, accept bathroom help, etc. makes all these already difficult things into emotional conflicts that are absolutely unnecessary.
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Do you give your LO greeting cards?
As the new year dawns I am coming up on a number of events that used to warrant giving cards, birthday, valentine’s, anniversary, etc. My DW however has past the point where she understands these events and last year when I gave her cards she didn’t really seem to know what to make of them. She does “collect” greeting…
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Synchronicity
I am not one to add the “woe is me” post, but I reached a point… My daughter was T-boned in a hit-and-run on the 23rd, Luckily she only has a concussion, but recovery is proving lengthy. She is 800 miles away. We drove to her and spent Christmas together. Then… Traveling home through blinding snow, I learn that my mother…
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placement doubts
There are so many threads about loved ones who have recently been placed and those caregivers who are considering placement in the near future. I am placing my husband mid January and my emotions are all over the place. After signing the contract for placement, but before placement, did any of you caregivers experience…
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This is from my teaching to the African Continent. Not sure if its helpful here.
https://player.vimeo.com/video/658407056
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The beast in DWs mind is fighting back. It despises anything that interferes with its agenda.
When light doesn't fill our home and a winter's afternoon takes over, energy and patience take a leave of absence. Difficult is an understatement, describing the struggle to maintain composure and keep level-headed with DW. DW's repetition and non-stop crying for the last 2 days, flood each room with uncertainty for both…
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Back from Tunisia
He was happy to return there, and clearly knew that he will stay longer than last time : as long as he enjoys to be there. He was welcomed with a lot of joy and kisses from the caregivers. He has a very nice room, the same 2 caregivers than last time (one for the beginning of the week, the other for the end), they also…
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Alzheimers/bulimia
I take care of my sister (age 62) with advanced Alzheimers combined with OCD and severe bulimia. I feel life is spiraling out of control. While I used to love to cook, everything related to food is a nightmare. I rarely cook anymore and have opted to eat out for most meals. At restaurants she eats her meal and half of…
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I feel so lost(1)
I've become hesitant to share our journey here, because it seems so personal. But it always helps to share, and it can clarify my thoughts. SO - here goes. 3 weeks ago I finally got DH in to a psychiatrist for medication. His PCP and neurologist refused to help with medication, and I've been trying to get help since early…
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DH seems better, not worse
When my DH was diagnosed with dementia, the Dr. said it was going to get worse. My DH went through a long period where he confused me with his sister and was irritable. All of a sudden, in the past few months, he seems more lucid and his mood is better. This baffles me. Has anyone experienced this?
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Having 'the Talk' and other Christmas events
For the first time in three years, all kids, partners/spouses, and dogs came home for Christmas. Two live about 250 miles away and the other is on the left coast. Everyone is vaxxed and boostered; Omicron notwithstanding, we made a decision as a family that we needed to be together again. I’d indicated to one and all that…
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Vacation(2)
My dh has been diagnosed for two years. We always do Christmas on the coast where our son lives. This year the first 3 days were horrible for him. He was confused and worrisome and even stood and paced for 2 of those days. I got something from dr for agitation. He’s better now that the daughter, hubs and 4 kids have left.…
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Memory Care Do I or Don't I
Guys I have read a lot of info over the months of what you guys are going through. Alot of it has been very helpful to me! I don't say a lot, because I guess everything has already pretty much been said about this dreadful disease! But here it is - I had a meltdown! I am a Christian woman, and I don't cuss, but I was…
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talking to my spouse about going into a community
My name is John and my wife has been diagnosed for almost 6 years. In the last 6 months the dimentia has really excellerated, I feel she is going into the final stages. As I read more, I realize I should have had a conversation long ago with her about entry a memory care facility, not sure how to start now. I have just…
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I moved my husband into Memory Care...
And I naively thought that would be the hardest part! I moved him 8 months ago. My biggest challenge is letting go of the dozen little things about the facility that drive me crazy. I see that generally he is doing fine. Shouldn't that be enough? I think when I poke my nose into the details of how the place operates it's…
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Is there such a thing as New Year's Resolutions when you're just marking time? Just musing.
It's natural to think about planning ahead, and I really would like to set some goals for this year; but at the same time I feel like I am just marking time until the next downturn or crisis. Covid is very bad where we are, and there is little public motivation to get the pandemic behind us; so it just keeps marching on.…
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Another sensitive subject
My husband was diagnosed with AD in 2015. In addition to the loss of all short term memory, repetition of comments or questions, and inability to follow any program or movie on TV, are the rages. The sundowning can become so vicious, hurtful, and out-of-control that it’s scary. It also enrages me to be treated so badly,…
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Oxidatives stress, ApoE4, and Alzheimer's disease
This is a fascinating study coming out of the Baylor College of Medicine. The study notes the connection between oxidative stress and amyloid beta. I will go a step further: risk factors operating through the same pathways lead to oxidative stress and the production of amyloid beta. Amyloid beta can in turn add to that…
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OMG! DH had total meltdown
Last night my husband went berserk. His aide took our dog out. My husband then went to take her out. I stupidly mentioned that the aide had taken care of it. He went wild, calling his aide the most awful things, cursing, yelling, screaming while I begged him to stop. That only led to his attacking me. Thank God he didn’t…
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Just need to talk to my friends (161)
Hi, Thought it was time - it's been 15 days since #160. Time is really flying - almost the middle of December already. Before we know it, it will be Springtime again. I'm for that. Ron, glad things are going pretty well for you and Lou. So nice of you to take care of your sister's little dog while she was gone. Bet you'll…
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I am afraid.
I am afraid for my DWs future and of my own. Her dementia is accelerating and I am not "prepared" emotionally or with "what to do next" information. The Medicaid website is obtuse and from sample qualification questions, we are not eligible for assistance, even though both of us are on social security. She is my DW and…
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How to Receive Financial Assistance
Good Morning and Merry Christmas. I retired to caregive DW and am unprepared financially for what is ahead. With DW suffering from dementia, I am concerned what skilled and compassionate care may cost down the road. Both of us receive social security, own our home and have limited investments. I don't want to lose…
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The power of music
Well, the Christmas spirit descended gently on our home tonight as we watched Bocelli and his children sing at the White House, followed by a wonderful American Experience on the life of Marian Anderson. A blessed moment of peace. I hope the same happens one way or another for all on this forum. Just wanted to share it.
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DH asked: “Do I have Alzheimer’s?”
DH saw me reading Chicken Soup for the Soul LivingWith Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias. He was watching TV and I didn’t think he was paying any attention to me. And then he asked, “Do I have Alzheimer’s?” I replied, “Your doctor thinks so.” He then asked, “What do you think?” I replied “I don’t know, what do you think?”…
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A feel good story
https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/25/us/nurse-rescue-dog-patient-hospital-rome-new-york/index.html
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emergency watches
anyone familiar with the emergency function on the Apple Watch or others?
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Merry Christmas(4)
It’s Christmas again; the end of another year. I know this year has been rough for a lot of us on this forum, me included. Even so, I still want to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and wish God‘s best blessings on each of you as you continue caring for your loved one. Brenda
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Should I tell him someone died?
Is it ever safe to tell someone with advanced dementia someone has died? We lost my youngest brother (58 years old) last week and I'm devastated. My husband has known him since he was 9. We were close. Do I tell him, who understands little, my brother has died? Is it ever OK to do that? Thank you.
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Planning for day care
My dh is still doing ok driving and going to coffeeshops, but I can see the time coming that he won't be able to. I try to make plans four months out, during my breaks so during the semester I have fairly smooth sailing. That said, I'm thinking perhaps I should start him at the day care one day a week now so when he needs…