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Anniversary(3)
Today DW and I have been married 41 years. This morning when she came into the living room I hugged and kissed her and told her happy anniversary, she smiled and then it was gone. There's days I sure miss the lady I married 41yrs ago or even 2yrs ago, but I'm truly blessed to still have her in my life. Happy Anniversary…
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Are there ways to cope?
My DH and I have been in our new house for 4 months. Last night a neighbor had a “meet ‘n greet” for several people in the neighborhood (we are all new to the area). My DH was interacting with people, as was I. Most of the people wore name tags. At 3-1/2 hours into it, my DH told me he was going home. Okay… I stayed for…
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No Holiday Spirit for Me
I have no intention of decorating for the season. With DW in an MCF for the last few months it seems pointless and frankly a painful reminder of what we have lost. At Christmas 2019, DW seemed to fully engage with the season and understood the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year. We set up and decorated the tree…
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Bed rails(1)
Tell me what you think of this idea. A friend was talking about her husband rolling out of bed more frequently during the night when he is dreaming. The bed rail that slips under the mattress did not always keep him in and he could not grab onto it to pull himself up as it simply pulled out. At some point she is going to…
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Does anyone's lo do suduko or puzzles?
This is one of those things, that makes me wonder about my dw condition. She still does crossword sudoko every day. They are large print and an easy to intermediate level. Is this something that someone with Altzhiemers say stage 5 would be able to do? She hadn't used her tablet in months and picked it up and checked her…
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Glasses saga
Last December at his optometrist appointment I asked that the PD numbers be added to his prescription paper. I was thinking that if something happened to his glasses, I’d order online. Fast forward to November. DH is cleaning his glasses and on one side the lens fell out. I take the frame and the lens and go look for his…
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Korean War vet honored today at mcf
Today a resident where my dw is was honored with the Korean Ambassador of peace medal. He also has a purple heart medal, he stepped on a landmine.he aslo has a case full of other medals. We attended the ceremony. They had the ceremony in the main dining room, they had the mayor present the award and there was a large…
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Any advice?
It's been a long while since I've posted, but I know that this is the place to find kind folks who have experience or guidance during this long, lonesome journey of caring for a spouse with dementia. My wife has had a "mild" cognitive impairment for years, coupled with heavy wine drinking. A couple of weeks ago, she had a…
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Dementia advice fatigue
I know they mean well, but I have had just about enough of book recommendations, articles that I should read, and videos I need to see. The Titanic metaphor is pretty tired, but it's a pretty good fit for how I experience my life with my wife. We were sailing along pretty well, heading for what we thought was a better…
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Here one minute gone the next
Well I am guessing this is the beginning of the end of Dw knowing who I am. It has happened twice in the last couple weeks where I am sitting with my dw and she is having a conversation with my sister-in-law and I am sitting directly across from her and she suddenly says where is stewart. Of course my eyes make direct…
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Picking Skin
There is a big fancy word called Dermatillomanina which is a OCD thing of picking one's on skin. My spouse picks her arms over and over and over. They bleed. It is messy and it is frustrating. The Doc raised the antidepressant but it didn't help. Just curious if anyone else has had this issue and any luck of how to control…
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What should I expect?
DH fell down at night at home in late October, as it turns out he has acquired hemophilia A. After blood transfusions, he was put on prednisone that raised his blood sugars, he is diabetic type 2. Dementia was in the beginning stages. He is due to come home from rehab on Thursday. He is losing sense of time, doesn’t answer…
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When they don't know you
I know I've posted several links to videos, but this one may be the best I've ever seen. When Someone With Dementia Forgets Who You Are
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Joshbi(1)
Joshbi you asked this question which I think is a good question especially for those out there that are just wondering. "Would anyone here be willing to share the first indication that something was just a little off with your spouse but you didn’t think it was very significant since it didn’t interfere with ADL’s at the…
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Saw DW this morning
Saw DW this morning at memory care . As always no recognition or reaction. she was in bed, but dressed . Looked lovely , skin fine , nails and hair grow. She is very clean room is nice lean 4 years since she had any idea who I am. In December 1972 on Christmas I asked this spectacular girl if she would marry me. It just…
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How much can I expect DH to recover after a fall
DH is now in a skilled nursing facility. He was discharged from the hospital last Friday to continue recovering from the 3 broken ribs and a subdural hematoma. He recognizes me, can read words, feed himself, but doesn't have much cognition beyond this. I met the social worker today and they started to ask me about my plans…
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Is he ok?
I went to breakfast with 2 girlfriends today. I was accused of wallowing. My friend thinks I’m wallowing because I just had a hip replacement and a pneumonia diagnosis last week. She doesn’t know my SO has short term memory loss. She doesn’t realize I’ve been confined for a month with constant repeated questions,…
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Terminal Lucidity
My husband hasn't walked in two months. He went from having Covid in later September which took away his ability to walk, to falling, to entering the hospital where they attempted PT to long term care to Hospice. Two of his kids traveled to see him this past weekend and when I came on Sunday, he stood up from the…
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Heart and head not in agreement
I'm at a crossroads. Due to increasing physical aggression toward me, last incident involved calling 911, my head tells me it's time to start considering memory care for my husband of almost 55 years. My heart tells me to wait before taking that step. In the past all the difficulties I've been able to handle.....repeating…
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Bathtub
Last night DH got up at 2:30AM and got into the bathtub. It is a very deep tub and he couldn’t get out. I heard him yelling and the water running so I ran into his bathroom to help. It took us over an hour to get him out. I thought I would have to call the fire department. Any ideas how I can prevent this in the future? I…
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Holiday confusion(1)
My SO has severe short term memory loss, which I have learned to deal with. We are fortunate that she has not progressed to other forms of dementia, and I often remind her that her "glass is half full, not half empty". This year I am beginning to see confusion over the holidays. I needed to explain to her several times…
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Roving lawyer
I now have most of my documentation to put my husband into care. I remembered way back when we were first married that we had made a will and had a power of attorney done for each other. I wasn’t sure if these documents were even valid and wondered what to do. Low and behold, I get a phone call from said lawyer and we had…
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Staying overnight in MC
My DH keeps asking me to spend the night with him in MC. Any thoughts?
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3rd party care
In this case I am talking about doctors and dentists. I accompany Diana on all office visits, and generally we can manage to do all the things practitioners want us to do. Our last dentist visit was the first one where we flunked. We made it through the cleaning part, but when it was time for the dental exam, Diana could…
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sippee cup
DH has been drinking from a cup with a straw for at least 3 years now and hasn't had any issues with that. Several months ago we started thickening his liquids because he was coughing a little with water but not with his Ensure, which is just a little thicker. Recently he started coughing a lot after drinking and the…
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Comforting and Inspirational Blog
Here is a link to a wonderful blog written by Susan Dougherty, spouse of an early onset Lewy body patient. It is beautifully written and is comforting and inspirational. Along the side bar is a link to earlier posts that she wrote. Unfortunately, after her husband died in 2016, Susan only survived until 2018.…
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Desperate conditions and decisions
My wife has FTD. She’s been ill dating back about 8 years. I had to stop working outside our home 18 mos ago because it became unsafe to leave her alone. We lived in a dangerous city. It was just the two of us and a dog at home in an apartment with no reliable immediately available support. I worried constantly that…
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First Time asking for help.
I just joined AlzConnected so I am still navigating my way around especially in the area of getting advice and feedback as to how to handle various situations. Recently, my wife became aggitated and wanted to call "her parents and go home". This incident occurred during the sundowning period. I have tried to identify the…
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M1(5)
Just wondering how things are going for you.
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Off topic photos
I know we talked about these before, but......The people who never existed https://petapixel.com/2022/12/01/victorian-era-people-who-never-existed-these-portraits-were-ai-generated/