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Jolly Christmas?
Sitting in an airport bar awaiting my flight to spend Christmas with “our” daughter and her family. I’ve always loved being with our kids and young grandchildren during the holidays, but leaving him behind feels so sad and wrong. Not to go feels like our kids have lost us both. I wonder if next year I stayed back with him…
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I think she is sensing the separation
My DW wakes up every morning, crying, pleading with me not to leave her or as she said "Promise you won't put me somewhere", "Promise you won't leave me" all morning for the first hour. I've never mentioned placing her in MC at some point so I don't know if she's sensing something and having moment's of semi-clarity, or…
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What’s in that Emergency Clean-up Kit, again?
Preface is that I am recuperating from a pre-Christmas gift of respiratory virus bequeathed me by our lovely great-grands who are school age and for whom I provide school transport while mom recovers from a broken driving leg. Thank you, darlings, Nana loves you very much, too. Second is that Pop-pop now has said virus as…
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Happy Holiday
KWANZAA...ROHATSIS...HANUKKAH...CHRISTMAS...ASHURA..YALDA...JUUL...NEW YEAR...TWELFTH NIGHT AND FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!
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I bought DW a wheel chair today
The myoclonus (jerking) is so bad she cant walk even with an aide holding her arm. So she will have a transport wheelchair She is a fall risk and I don't want her in pain from a broken bone Her eyes don't move to track objects. Her brain is slowly shutting down. 50 years ago I asked the wonderful girl i ever met to marry…
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I hate the question Are you married?
It seems like such a simple question. I've been asked this several times in the past month or so. First, when shopping for new car insurance. Yes, I'm technically married. He's in a nursing home. So no, I probably don't want to include him as a driver. Second, when having to fill out yearly paperwork at my job with the rep…
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Overthinking?
Am I overthinking this, or is he overthinking this? As you may know, my DH was recently told he has VD. Over the past 2 weeks, he has been saying things that I think may be paranoia, or maybe he's just saying what he thinks. He has a childhood friend, and the relationship has been awkward over the past few years for…
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Monday chuckle
DH and I just watched Tim Conway’s sketch on the Carol Burnett Show about Siamese elephants! Boy did we need that! Look it up it just might give you a chuckle!
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Different Ways That Dementia Presents article
I saw an article or YouTube about the different ways that dementia can present - memory loss, personality changes, executive function loss based on the type of dementia. I'm not sure if it was Teepa Snow or Dr. Natali with Dementia Careblazers (or some other source). Do any of you happen to know of this or a similar…
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Suggestions heating bills high hubby cold
Our heating bills were off the chart last winter spending between $600 - $800 a month. I’ve been very diligent about keeping the thermostat lower and wearing an extra sweater. My DH has always been cold even in the summer! He wears several layers: a T shirt, long sleeved shirt, sweater, hooded sweatshirt and a fleece…
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Way off topic - Hachi - a dog's tale
I watched TV more tonight than I have in years, unless there was a ball game on. I watched the movie on Netflix "Hachi - a dog's tale". It is about a dog whose master died suddenly. The dog waited for his master to get off the train, like he did every day when the master would go to work. The dog waited for him to get off…
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Need help with the car issue
Hello, my DH is in denial about his illness and thinks he can drive. Although he hasn't, in months. Honestly, I don't think he really wants to, but hangs on to his dignity by insisting he can. I'll get into my car first. Or, he'll say, "I don't know how to get there" and I tell him I do and will drive. We've disabled his…
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Shocked out of ambiguous denial perhaps
Stunned. I'm just... stunned. I guess this is how it goes. He's more declined than I realized. Wish I could call someone. But it's probably just as well it's the middle of the night. I doubt I'm coherent; need time to sort out what happened tonight. Helps just knowing you're here. Thanks....
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Am I losing it?
I wonder if I am going slowing into this world of forgetting. Last night I went to the Christmas program, mainly because I do the sound system. Yesterday seemed like a blur couldn't tell you what the preacher said.well I brought gifts for all the folks my dw always gave to. It was her towels that she had made,she had…
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Tapping into our survival mode
I think we survive as caregivers because as humans we are hard wired for harsh conditions. Think about survival during the ice age. Your partner asking you 1000 times a day where do you want this rock was the least of your worries. I think it's why people endure catastrophes like plane crashes and ships sinking. Evolution…
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Wills
We went to the lawyer's office and signed our wills today, along with various Powers. This was supposed to make me feel better, having all that financial and related stuff resolved for now. I wish I felt more settled. Taking care of business doesn't improve Hubs' mental functioning. Just feeling down right now. I just hope…
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Question about Hand Feeding
I have a question about hand feeding. I thought that hand feeding would come when DW's motor control had deteriorated so that she could not manage her eating utensils. Or when she became so out of it that she was virtually catatonic. Now however she needs to be hand fed because otherwise she will most just futz with her…
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happy Irish Hannukah
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Lost Hat
My SO lost his hat! I know this because he told me 11 times in 2 hours. Me: I’m sorry. Look in the car. Did you check the bedroom? I called the restaurant - they don’t have it. Repeat all my responses. Let’s go to Kohls and buy a new one. On the way to Kohls he obsessed about his keys so “it doesn’t make sense to go to…
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Reality tonight. Just thoughts
I know this is all very real but tonight, after putting DW to bed and telling her I'll be right there after I step outside and smoke my pipe, cold yes but not bitterly so. I'm standing there by myself, for practically the entire day with out my shadow, so I'll take it, all the while listening for her to start crying. The…
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Free Covid home tests available
4 Free Covid at home tests are available thru the USPS at https://store.usps.com/store/results?Ntt=covid&_requestid=377312 You can also get 8 free tests per month using your insurance/Medicare at any pharmacy which takes your insurance and has them in stock. Since the numbers seem to be climbing, it might not be a bad idea…
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Neuro visit tomorrow, what to expect?
My DW's neuro visit is tomorrow and up until now I haven't been worried on how I'm going to present it to her. She is basically blissfully unaware of her condition and has been in denial from the start. She refused to be tested in the early days. I took her to our primary and they ran a preliminary test and referred her to…
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Random Thoughts
I am thankful for this community and the support it provides. I read more often than I post. May we all find some peace and joy in this holiday season as we traverse this difficult journey. Now - the random thoughts: - I participated in a research study for caregivers this fall. As part of the study, I had a weekly call…
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Just need to talk to my friends (183)
Morning, Thought it was about time to begin a new part of our thread. Time gets away from me and we have been talkative these past few days or weeks. It's a beautiful morning. Rain yesterday - only .5" but it really seems muddy. It's sunny this morning with a little bit of wind. I think the next couple of days will be…
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My neurology appointment today
I had a follow-up visit with the neurology nurse practitioner. A few weeks ago I did Neurotrax, which is a computerized cognitive testing program. I was in the green range (good) for most domains, but in the yellow range (caution) for short term memory and executive function--basically the same as before, a few years ago.…
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New support tool in my area
There is a new support tool available here and I am hoping it will be helpful. Our county is sponsoring it. It is called Trualta. There is a care manager and online assistance. When I registered yesterday, I explored the website and there are numerous articles on caregiving and how to handle different situations. There are…
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This may be near the end
As I've mentioned before, my husband is bedbound and home with me. I think his journey is about over. I'm not sure. He is no longer eating even though I offer, but don't force. He sleeps/rests a lot. He is losing his voice. Only urinating once or twice a day. No longer wants to sit up in bed. Sometimes doesn't talk at all.…
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Emotional roller coaster(1)
Although I’ve been reading this discussion group for months, I’ve never posted. My DH has had Parkinson’s for a number of years, and more recently, what I believe is Parkinson’s dementia. He recentlymoved into AL because of deteriorating mobility which led to a series of bad falls. He refused to accept any limitations and…
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Poor financial judgement and clutter
My DH has early stage dementia and has been making donations like crazy, both political and charitable. They are not huge amounts but they can still add up to a fair bit of money. He is very susceptible to the pleas for donations with messages of urgency or matches of donations. He still has capacity to make decisions but…
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HAHA.....new fashion trend?!
The other morning my DH came out of his bedroom with his red underpants on OVER his flannel lined khakis! I told him that I'd help him get it fixed because that's not how those should go on. He looked at me and said "A lot of people wear them this way"!!! That evening, we were finishing dinner when a bat came swooping past…