-
POSITIVE BALANCE
When I was a caregiver, I was on a seesaw. One side was attending to the needs of those I cared for, and the other side was attending to my own needs. Both sides were important. Both sides needed attention. The aim was to keep the seesaw balanced so one side did not go crashing to the ground. Perhaps looking back, I…
-
Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/23/24
FRIENDS, just want you to know I read all your comments and appreciate them. The Holy Spirit is with you and me here and everywhere. Peace, Ronnie (Veronica Kelly Badowski) * CONFUSION Isaiah 5:20 New International Version "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness,…
-
Visiting too often?
My DH has been in memory care for almost 3 weeks. The first week was very hard, but since then, he’s seemed to be adapting to it. I’ve been visiting daily, for about an hour, and my daughter often sees him in the evening. A few days ago, when I arrived, he was playing a word game with the group and he was having such a…
-
Am I crazy, or is the doctor?
I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but here's hoping someone can shed a little light on what to do about our current situation. As background, we are exploring MC placement for my DH, who tested in the "mild dementia" range in late 2022. Lately he has been having episodes of aggression and rage which are…
-
What to do?
My DW is now fully involved with her dementia/delusions. She is getting angry and physically violent. So, what is the next step? Do I need to look to have her committed?
-
I need help finding a post
A member posted a photo of a lockbox to use so that designated people could enter the home if she were unavailable. I have been searching for this post that was embedded within a thread but I can't remember the title of the thread. Does anyone remember it? It was either on this board or on the General Caregivers board.…
-
After more than 18 months we finally have test results
A miracle happened this month...the VA neuropsych department finally sent us the detailed test results from the test he took in June 2022. The same test results we have asked for, his VA neuro requested, his PCP requested, his social worker requested, and his private insurance neuro requested. The last requestor was his…
-
POA and MC admission
I have given the POA for my DH over to DS officially. He looked at the documents far more critically than I and he's not sure we would be able to make decisions for DH as regards moving him to MC facility. It seems the documents actually say two doctors must sign off on him being incapable of making his own decisions. What…
-
Just Checking In - Its been a while but doing MUCH Better
Hi All - Just checking in, its been almost a year since I've visited this site, great help and support. DW is in her 7th year with EO FTD, she'll be 61 in a few days. Much has happened since I placed her in MC in late December/2022. Short story is I eventually pulled her out this past August and now care for her at home…
-
Dealing with denial, hallucinations, and delusions
A doctor mentioned that my husband probably has Alzheimer's about 2 years ago. Since then my husband refuses to see a doctor for any reason because there's nothing wrong with him. He gets angry, belligerent, and even hostile at times because I promise to take him to our new "masterpiece" home but I never take him; or I…
-
I can no longer keep DH safe Now what?
DH can no longer walk without falling. He will not wait for me to assist. Last night he got up out of bed in the middle of the night and was shuffling around. My Angel must have awakened me because I was exhausted and in a deep sleep. DH qualifies for Medicaid. How do I find a place for him? I am in touch with a lawyer.…
-
Important article re: significant risks of hospitalization/ER for PWDs
Posting on both sites. This corroborates the experiences many of us have had with hospital or ER intervention causing more harm than good for our PWD LOs. The study focused on fainting or near fainting (syncope) as a reason for the initial hospital contact, but the overarching statements caught my attention and are why we…
-
Diagnosis
Well. Spoke with the neuropsych today about my DWs evaluation last week. For sure dementia, though unsure what type. Progressing rapidly. Could be Alzheimer's, faster progressing Lewy Body or vascular. I know it may matter in terms of planning, but right now, even the thought of scheduling another MRI just bums me out. I…
-
Rash on chest
DH has been complaining of ongoing itchiness on chest, arms, back. There is a visible rash especially on the chest. This has been for several weeks, maybe 2 months. We put hydrocortozine 1% on it which helps, but apparently the itchiness is getting more constant and even disrupts his sleep. I sent a note to the PCP who had…
-
Dealing with Grief of Loss and Alzheimer's Madness
Dear Forum Friends, I have been checking in but haven't participated much since the loss of my best fury friend of 14 years. It was just the last straw for me, and I continue to be filled with grief. I decided to commit my feelings to writing in hopes that it might purged some of my pain. I share this in hopes that it will…
-
Share a date or surprise?
Just wondering what everyone would do… I go to a support group once a month. It seems every time I go it starts an argument with DH. Why do I need to go, who is there, do we just talk about him… you know the drill. So do I tell him ahead of time that I am going? I didn’t mark it on the calendar this month. Do I just wait…
-
stage and preparation
My mother died in early 2015. At that time she had mentioned to me that she thought there was something wrong with my step dads memory. When she was dying from cancer I begin to see it too. He was able to live by himself for a couple of years but due to some major health issues that escalated his ALZ I had to move him to…
-
It's weird. . .
We used to come here all time. My DW would have a coke and I would have a beer. That was back in stages 2 through early 6. We would always get a small pepperoni to go. Back then I also was caring for my mom also. I loved sitting in this exact booth with her right by my side. We would hold hands under the table. Eventually,…
-
Brought DH home from AL
I just brought my DH home from AL due to incontinence issues. His bedding and PJs were soaked every am and room reeked. I started going there late am and had to bag all soiled bedding and clothes and put them outside door for cleaning. His bed was soaked. I bought a hospital bed and thought that would make it easier for…
-
So so tired
Hi fellow caregivers. I don't expect anyone to have a solution. I just needed to say to someone who understands: I'm so %$#% tired. I mean truly weary. My husband's sleep pattern has changed so he basically sleeps for a couple of hours and then is in constant motion for a couple of hours. I just purchased a baby gate…
-
MC 2nd placement
Well, he didn't even make it two weeks. I received a call Friday night that HWD tried to pull a female resident into his room and pushed another one to the floor. I asked where we are going with this. The staff member said they will just document it in his record and were calling because they are required to notify me. I…
-
Stage 5
My DH is now stage 5 cognitively and memory wise. He is still able to attend to his personal care. Our specialist said this stage can last 6 years….can you share your experience in terms length of time and behaviors? DH has had a couple of angry outbursts where he kicks us out the house, no recognition of me for over 6…
-
Curious?
Interesting to see the various venues this disease takes! ! Finding lately DH is now using my towel when he actually takes a shower. Choosing the soup I like to have even tho he has never liked it in the past, wanting to sit where I usually sit either at the table or watching TV? What??? Explain!
-
I get afraid you're not coming back
Ending a visit remains very, very hard. My partner said this to me today and it about broke my heart (again). We had tried a white board saying when I would be back--but it didn't register, even my name. I tried putting pictures up--of me, of her parents, of us together---but she takes them down. I would love any…
-
Newbie
My LO is my spouse. He is only 71. He was diagnosed at the high end of MCI exactly a year ago with a prognosis of full blown dementia at an estimated 5 years. I’m scared for him. My adult children don’t want to discuss the challenges I have, even though they have read all the information I have received about the…
-
LO on Hospice - Aide won't Give Morphine
Hi, This is about my dad. He lives at home with a wonderful aide for the past two years. He had a heart attack on Saturday. I asked the aide to take the POLST form. she did, but didn't give it to the EMT. They gave him something to make his heart beat. I put him on hospice on Sunday, these are his wishes and we spoke about…
-
Wife refuses medical help
After 3-4 years of increasing memory loss, Finlay was able to get DW to her PCP (prescribed sertraline for anxiety) and neurophysiological testing. Diagnosed with presumptive AD but she is in denial and refuses further follow up. Related: about 12 months ago she began to not recognize me. Not sure what to do
-
Telling the truth
I have put my husband on the waiting list at a small number of memory care residential homes. He is probably in early stage 6. As I read the discussions here, it seems most people who place their spouses in memory care use a ruse to get them there. Is there any reason why I can't just tell the truth to my husband? The…
-
Lawyer suggested Medicaid Divorce?
we Have only been married 6 years, no kids. I am the provider of the two of us. Husband needs extra care but he does not qualify because of my retirement accounts. He does qualify as he is under the asset limit. Married in the Catholic Church I originally did not to go this route. But I have found out that it may be my…
-
Aricept
My DH had a Dr’s appt today. I gave the doctor a list of his behaviors - hallucinations, delusions, episodes of anger, not knowing who I am, waking up at night and unmaking and remaking the bed for over an hour, etc. We are starting his 10th year since diagnosis. The Dr prescribed Seroquel and Aricept. I told the Dr that I…