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Spreading the word
I just wanted to say Thanks to everyone who has mentored me along my journey. It wasn't wasted either, I learned how to navigate the medical system and that proved invaluable, I learned how to cope, you listened to me vent and you all cared deeply and I just wanted to say Thanks to each one. Yesterday I went to my first…
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Newbie
:) Just joined. Won't have a lot of time to share/post, but glad to be here and hope to be helpful and to learn. Grateful for this site because I've been handling DH with Alz for several years by myself. Am losing my hair!! And mind?
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Abusive situation suspected
My good friends husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 2 yrs ago. They had a loveless marriage for years, and I give her a lot of credit as she is doing her best to care for him. The issue is I believe she is constantly yelling at and belittling him when no one else is around. I’ve caught her doing this on several…
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First flicker of concern
So....for the most part things at the new MC facility have been much, much improved. Communication much better, she is at least accepting my visits and not all over me about leaving at every turn. So far, so good. But: and this may end up being a big but. She has been on chronic pain management for her terrible back for…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 5/20/23
GOD IS HIGHER. WE CAN TRUST HIM. Isaiah 55:9 New Living Translation 9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. me: Sometimes we kinda understand why some things in our lives have happened, and other times we scratch our heads and say,…
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SMH (shake my head) moment
Just sharing because I know you'll get it. Overnight, my DH managed to misplace his underwear. All of it (except what was in the hamper). Checked drawers and closets throughout the house. Checked the laundry. Checked the basement. Checked the car and garage. Yes, I checked the trash. Someday I'll find it. It will probably…
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Using a cane for balance
Can any one recommend a cane that is dementia friendly? My DH is having some balance issues and i' m not sure which style cane to use. Any tips would be so appreciated.
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Hospice respite
I am beginning another Hospice respite today. They picked up my husband at noon in an ambulance and transferred him to the inpatient unit near me. They already called me and said he is resting comfortably. Even the dog went to the kennel . I fly out early to visit with my son and daughter in Charlotte. He is having an…
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New to the forum
I am a new member to the forum. Since I have joined, I have been reading many posts, most make me sad, but there are others that bring hope. My wife was recently diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and Alzheimer's, moderate stage. I had suspected dementia for the past four years but the doctors and specialists were going…
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No-tie shoelaces?
anyone have any good ideas here? The physical therapist wanted my partner to have a good pair of shoes to do therapy and for walking around in--she tends to just use little slide-on clogs which are a fall risk. We tried some slip-ons, but her hands are so affected by Rheumatoid arthritis that these were actually harder to…
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sleeps all day and drinks wine all night
My wife was diagnosed with early on set dementia about 6 months ago. She is 74 and I have seen this coming for years ,I think?? Have many questions, but for now am concerned about her increased drinking every nite. Also she sleeps or stays in bed all day. Until approximately 5 pm. Any experience or suggestions.
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response to spouse
I'm new here so my question may seem very basic....when my dw says something like"mother says to come visit" even though her mother has passed years ago, how do I respond? Do I say "your mothers gone", do I change the subject? What is a good response? Thanks
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Irritability, problems with caregiver, etc.
My spouse is just so irritable lately that I'm having trouble coping. Everything is wrong: he has pain here, itching there, he has no appetite. He loses things constantly and I'm forever on call to answer a million questions what seems like a million times. I am fast approaching a point where I can't tolerate it, or at…
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Anger Management
My DW was fairly recently diagnosed and we are processing the news. She's been more aggressive in discussions on several issues. Is it worth it to try to argue/debate the facts or situation, agree (within reason) and /or try not to debate, or what? Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Need Help with Toilet Splatters
My DH has an Ileostomy - his sight and smell have been affected with the dementia. He splatters everywhere when he empties his appliance, including walls, clothes, etc. I ordered a 5" toilet riser but he won't use it, he says the middle whole is too small (it is actually only 10" round and unsure of what size he is seeing…
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When to fill for disability?
This is my first post, hopefully will get some advice from those who have been thru what I am about to going thru. My DH was diagnosed 2 years ago with early on set Alzheimer’s . He is now 63 and still working as a computer programmer. He was told today by his boss in a very kind way that he has 2 months to speed up,…
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You are all Angels
Hello, I am new to posting on this forum but have been following the site and Your advice since last fall. I want you all to know how much you are helping me as we deal with my DH’s mixed dementia diagnosis. DH was officially diagnosed in early 2021 but had MRI which show brain atrophy and 50% clogged artery in the middle…
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rebuffed sex ask
Last night for whatever reason, DH was quite amorous. He had been in bed since 7 PM, I crawled in about 9 PM. I rebuffed his actions, I felt that we had not had a sexual encounter in such a long time, I just wasn't ready for that. Besides I had taken some Benadryl to help with allergies before going to bed. Today, I'm…
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Notice to new users - Start a new discussion
I am seeing an increasing number of first time post from people asking important questions about a LO they are caring for. The trouble is many of these important questions are being asked as a post at the end of someone else's discussion. It's hard to give a response to these posts without disrupting the existing…
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Issues with Facility and How to Address them
My Dad is in a facility in Bayville, NJ and on Mother's Day my Mom & I went for a visit (Mom goes every day). When we arrived (approx 1130am) my Dad was not up yet. He had a temporary staff assigned to him that day and she wasn't told to get him up...that my Mom visits each day. She said she assumed when understaffed you…
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Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) Guidance Requested
I would very much like to connect with anyone that is currently living with a spouse or domestic partner (I am a domestic partner) that has been diagnosed with MCI recently or within the last couple of years. My partner has always been a strong independent woman and due to past relationships especially her ex-husband, she…
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trying something new
been on this road going on 6 yrs now. i will admit i have caregiver burnout. instead of just walking away i am trying a different way of holding on to my sanity. i have rented a place for me to go to on the weekends. it is very hard on my friend/partner for me to leave him every week for 2 days but if this doesnt work then…
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Missus Mxyzptlk
Mister Mxyzptlk was the prankster from Superman. I know y’all say it’s not them, it’s the disease, but nah... it’s her. How else does she know exactly where to place things on the tv table in order to block the signal from the remote? Or how can she know when I’m dozed off enough on the couch so that I won’t notice that…
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I Admire You All, but I cannot do this. Feel trapped.
My partner was diagnosed via PET scan a month ago. MRI was normal but the PET showed changes in the uptake of the radioactive glucose in parts of the brain "consistent with AD". I posted on here, my first post, the next day. I was distraught. Initially, the mri found a "lesion" which was found - on second contrast mri - to…
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I do not know how much longer I can do this
DH began exhibiting memory issues in 2017 and was DX with bvFTD in 2019. I have been his sole care giver for the past two years since our son graduated from HS and went to college. I work full-time from home; organize/take care of all items (shopping, cooking, laundry, bills, repairs, doctor's appointment, legal issues…
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Good hygiene. Peewee no longer has this.
I'm having problems getting Peewee to take baths or showers. I got him to put on clean socks the other day and now I have to cut his toenails for him, his toenails were so long they were curving under to the bottom side of his toes. My question is how often should I trim his toenails. I can get him to take a bath once a…
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Rapid decline
My 62 year-old DW is rapidly declining and I am extremely depressed about it. We live together in an Assisted Living facility. I am 61 and have Parkinson's. Her doctor says she will soon have to go Memory Care. It really is impossible for me process this. My anxiety level is through the roof!
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By Beachfan: Afterward….
Last evening marked 3 weeks since DH passed; one week ago today, we laid him to rest. I cared for him at home for 11 years and he resided in a MCF for the past 17 months. I was accustomed to an empty house, sleeping alone, cooking for one and dining solo. It has been years since he recognized me or any family members; I…
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By Ed - a tip that could save you a lot of pain
Most of us know that PWD often accuse the husband/wife of cheating. Often when families/friends visit, they embrace each other with a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Please don't let the PWD see that, even if it is with your son/daughter. The PWD might not remember the details of what they saw, but they might remember that…
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Staffing in MC facilities
I have been touring MCFs and getting more confused about staffing ratios. Some of the facilities include the activities person who may be part time, the nursing staff who may not do hands on ADL care or others who may or may not deal directly with the resident. One place included the director. I am trying to get answers on…